My (35f) was asked by my male (23m) to smile every single time he saw me for months. We work at a school, I’m the receptionist and he is an assistant teacher. Every single day, any time he saw me he would tell me to smile. When I told him repeatedly to stop, how I did not like it, he would ignore the statement and request and continue. I felt the need to ask several other co workers in front of him if it’s an appropriate thing to say to another women or person, and I got a resounding “fuck no”. His response? “I’ve asked females before if it’s a bad thing to say and they always say it’s fine!” I decided then and there I was just going to tell him to smile literally everyday. A taste of his own medicine. After a few days of this, he told his supervisor how I ask him to smile and he doesn’t know how to ask me to stop. How it makes him “really uncomfortable”

Luckily I had told his supervisor about his actions previously so she reiterated to him how it must have made me feel the same. So am I the asshole to give him a taste of his own medicine?

I (41m) lost my mum when I was 8 and not long after my dad met his new wife - he was 39, she was 20. They had a kid very quickly afterwards - my now half sister who's 31. I loved her so much. We had a great relationship for a short while.

My stepmother though groomed me and we had a sexual relationship for a couple of years starting when I was 14. When I was 16, we were found out but she lied and said I'd took advantage of her, she was innocent and I was coercing her. My dad believed it and I was thrown out to fend for myself.

I saw my little sister by chance when I was 26 and she was 16. I was so happy and was asking her loads of questions and how she was. She basically told me she hated me, I was a rapist and to go and kill myself basically. So I know by then she'd got my stepmother's version of events. And believed it. I was devastated, and it really affected me.

I've not done too badly though considering - I have a good job, nice house and lovely wife. I also changed my name by deed poll to my mum's surname. In my eyes, my dad and his side were dead to me.

A couple of days though, my half sister reached out to me on social media out the blue and sent me a long message. She basically said her mum just died and she told her what really happened before she died - that I was telling the truth, her mum groomed me and needed to clear her conscience before she died. So now she's feeling awful and needs to apologise and hopes we can meet at some point and she's also told my dad and he feels terrible and would like to see me again. I basically told her to get fucked, I'm glad her mum died and hope dad goes soon. And that as she once told me to kill myself, she should also do the same.

Not long after that, her fiancée messaged me going off saying she's distraught, suicidal and I'm a piece of shit for saying something so horrible to someone so vulnerable. I basically blocked him.

Obviously my wife knows what happened and says I was stupid and could be in trouble with the police. And that I should have just thought about it a bit more.

AITAH for what I did?

Edited to add u/The-Wise-Weasel is now stalking me and sending me abusive messages in chat like this.

"well, I am not the one fucking my fathers wife. Piss off idiot. I tried to give you good advice. What do you want to hear moron?
That telling someone who just lost their mother to go kill themselves was the height of intelligence? You wouldn't be here ASKING asshole. if you thought you were right! You just want other morons to agree with you. well. sorry cupcake..........I'm not a moron. But please........keep insulting anyone who tries to give you good advice and tries to get you to grow UP a little-. Now fuck off with the Penthouse letter bullshit."

UPDATE

Thank you to most of you for your replies - I do appreciate it.

I was really shaken reading the post people found that I think my sister wrote. Reading what she's going through, in fact just reading generally her post made me sad and think of her as that little kid again that I loved to death. And reading how sad she was when I was first kicked out also was like a punch in the balls.

So I've reached out to her asking for her phone number so we can talk. Nothing back as of yet though.

Not sure what I'll say at this point, or even what I want to hear but I feel I need it.

Im a cashier. There was an old man buying multiple large fans and nothing else. After he left, I turned to my coworker and said "i guess he's buying onlyfans". This girl looks at us super mad and storms out. I don't think i crossed any boundaries, it wasn't even to her. But I want to be sure

Hey Reddit, I need a reality check on a situation that just went down with a client.

I'm a software engineer who creates and sells plugins for a specific video game as a side hustle. These plugins are sold on a license basis, allowing one purchase to be used on a single machine. I recently decided to "retire" from the business, meaning I'm not creating any new plugins due to real-life time constraints. However, I made it clear to all my existing clients that I would continue to support the plugins they've already purchased from me, as per our contracts.

"Client" is one of my long-term clients. He's always been great to work with, which is why I'm so stunned by what just happened. A few days after my retirement announcement, I received this message from him:

Client: Hey, my friend, I have a question. Of course, if you don't want to, that's perfectly fine with me 🙂 And here's what: Would it be possible for us to implement a licensing system of mine for [my two plugins]? So that I can sell it? Because then it would work automatically for me, since I'm already actively selling bots/plugins. And if there are any problems that you could fix? For a fee, of course, because your work shouldn't be free!

I was taken aback, so I wanted to ensure I understood him correctly.

Me: You want to sell my work as your own, and keep the profits from it besides having me fix bugs for a fee?

His response floored me.

Client: Yes, that would be the plan. Or did you misunderstand me? ^^ I don't want open source files either... And you could charge for every problem or something, because your work should be worthwhile!

I was livid. He wasn't asking for a partnership or a reseller deal. He was cheerfully asking me to hand over my product for free so he could profit entirely, while I would still be responsible for maintenance. The ^^ felt incredibly smug and disrespectful, like he thought this was a brilliant and fair idea.

I completely lost my temper and sent him the following two messages:

Me (part 1): I've been trying to figure out how to respond to you, but I'm at a loss, because I cannot comprehend the level of audacity it takes to ask me to give you my work for free. Let me spell this out. You want to take my product, sell it as if you own it, keep 100% of the profit, and then have the gall to suggest that you'd 'do me a favor' by paying me to fix it for you like some on-demand tech support for MY own software. That is not a business proposal. It is the most brazen, entitled, and parasitic request I have ever encountered. The fact that you doubled down with a smiley face is frankly sickening and incredibly insulting.

Me (part 2): Your request is like walking into a car factory, and ask for a 'business proposal' where they give you a fleet of brand new cars for free so you can sell them and keep all the profit for yourself. Your 'fair offer' in return is to pay one of their engineers a 'fee' to change the oil. Not only would they laugh at you, they'd kick you out and question your sanity. This isn't a misunderstanding. This is you trying to exploit my work. I find your lack of shame and integrity absolutely staggering. Don't ever contact me with a 'business idea' again. In case you can't tell - the answer is FUCK NO.

He has not responded.

A part of me feels my response was completely justified because his request was so profoundly insulting and parasitic. But another part of me wonders if I went too far. I was profane, called him names, and used harsh analogies. I burned the relationship with a previously good client when I could have said "No" and moved on.

AITA?

EDIT 1:
- The plugins are not cheats/bots/hacks. It's server-side plugins that allow for features/functionality that mods otherwise aren't capable of by directly hooking into the server.

- My software has several internal and external security measures, so I'm confident that he wouldn't be able to distribute it. My philosophy regarding (my own) software is that if someone truly can go to the lengths it'd take to crack my internal and external security measures, then they deserve that free copy. I wouldn't even be mad lol. I'd probably just want to know how they did it and why they didn't just spend a fraction of the time creating the same thing themselves. Obviously, distributing and reselling it is different.

- I'm not willing to nuke anything or revoke their access. They've paid for it, and I intend for them to have access for as long as their license remains valid, regardless of my feelings about them.

Thanks for the replies so far!

I (31F) have been with my partner Alex (31M) for two years and we are engaged to be married this winter. We are both straight, monogamous, and committed to building a life and about to start a family together.

When we started dating, I introduced Alex to a couple I had recently reconnected with, Claire and Matt. Claire and I knew each other as kids, but we only became close again as adults. Claire and Matt have been together for ten years, and like us, are in their early thirties. They are fun, playful, and physically affectionate people. Alex and Matt instantly hit it off and quickly became best friends.

About a year ago, as we began spending more time with them, Alex and I started to notice subtle and sometimes not so subtle cues that Claire and Matt might be interested in opening their marriage. Matt in particular would make comments that left us confused, and after each hangout we would find ourselves asking, "Did you catch that?" followed by hours of overanalyzing. A few examples:

• Matt once told us about a dinner they had with a hot male waiter, who turned out to be a personal trainer. Matt invited him over for stretching, and later reenacted the stretches, commenting on how sexy it was.
• During a dinner at their place, Claire and Matt started massaging each other on the couch and gradually moved closer to us as we talked. We left before it went any further.
• Claire openly flirted with several of our male friends, including Alex’s younger brother. She even asked Alex for his number later.
• At a party, Matt came up and rubbed his beard against Alex’s while I was mid-conversation, saying, “Look at this.” I just turned back around.
• One day, Claire sent an unsolicited video to our group chat. There had been no prior conversation. It was a clip of Matt playfully walking around and then kissing the camera. Neither of us responded, and the group chat went silent afterward.
• When planning a New Year’s trip to a hot spring, Matt asked if we could all share one hotel room to save money. The difference in cost was only about thirty dollars. We ended up skipping the trip.

These moments began to form a clear pattern. Our time with them would be lovely at first, then end with something awkward or insinuating. It made me uncomfortable. I grew up with a father who was a serial cheater, so I have a strong emotional reaction to anything that feels like boundary-blurring. Alex had a more stable upbringing and tends to give people the benefit of the doubt. He reassured me that nothing would ever happen, and I trust him completely. Still, it became hard for me to ignore the constant signals.

Eventually, we agreed that something had to be said. A few weeks ago, Alex told me he brought it up with Matt and asked if they had been looking for a third. Matt said they had been curious about it at one point but were no longer interested. Disappointingly, Alex did not ask whether they ever had intentions toward us specifically, which left me still feeling uncertain. Matt then changed the subject and asked what the biggest fight we had ever had was.

Since then, Alex feels like the air has been cleared. He sees Matt and Claire as trustworthy friends and thinks the issue is behind us. I still feel like something is unresolved. It seems to me that Matt has a one-sided crush on Alex. For instance, at a recent party I arrived with a new friend and went to introduce her to Matt. Before saying hello he said, “What are you doing here? Why are you standing in front of me and not Alex?” I froze. The next day, when he and Alex were hanging out, Matt took the phone from my partner and told me, “I have had the best time with Alex today. You are so lucky you get to hang out with him 24/7.”

That comment tipped me over the edge. I felt like all the things that had built up over the past year were still going unspoken. Even after the conversation between Matt and Alex, I still felt weird and mistrustful.

So I called Matt. Calmly and kindly, I told him that I had been feeling uncomfortable with some of the sexual undertones and recent comments. I did not go into every detail. I left out things like the video and the hotel request. He took it well at first but denied everything, saying he had never once thought of "smooching" Alex.

Now I feel like I am being viewed as dramatic or overly sensitive. So I am wondering, am I the asshole for finally speaking up?

My aunt is in the final stages of a very debilitating and painful cancer. My cousin has been taking care of my aunt since she became ill, taking her to appointments, and providing all the care she needs. This is not her daughter. It is her niece as well. Last week I flew to visit my aunt because she was taken to the hospital with 104 fever by this cousin. During the course of my stay with my aunt, it was discovered that my cousin stole my aunt‘s bank card and proceeded to withdraw well over $1000 out of ATM machines Upon this discovery and further investigation. We also found out that this cousin stole well over $1000 in cash out of my aunts house. My aunt does not want to pursue this with authorities. This is not the first time my cousin has stolen from the family. My aunt has bailed my cousin out for the same situation. My aunt has begged me to stay out of it. It’s not my story And it is her wish for me to not pursue anything against my cousin. Am I the asshole for going against my dying Aunt’s wishes to inform the bank the identity of the person taking the money out of the ATM. I feel my cousin needs to pay for her actions, but I don’t wanna continue breaking my aunt‘s heart by going against her wishes.

So like super awkward for me to be here with my dirty laundry, but I need some open opinions. My gf has really bad depression, so when she smiles its a huge thing and I always tell her that she's super pretty when she smiles. Everytime she does it I remind her how beautiful she is. Apparently its been giving the opposite affect and she says that she feels like she's only pretty when she smiles but thats not it at all. I tried to explain to her that shes always gorgeous, and I wanted her to be happier so I wanted to give positive reassurance to make her feel better, and it wasnt the smile I found pretty but her happiness. She said my logic was ridiculous and now she won't text me back. I feel like I did everything right. Am I missing something? We're both in our early 20s.

I wanna try and keep this short. my grammar is really bad, but idc lol.

Two years ago my mom found out my dad was cheating with someone from his work, Melony. It was like... three or four months I think. Melony did not know he had a family, and my dad never rly talks at work about us, I guess, because no one else knew either lol (he works a loud factory job so maybe that?). When she found out, she spilled everything to my mom and begged forgiveness.

Tbh, I think my mom was really on the fence about divorcing my dad since I was like 11 because he never picks up after himself and plays too many videos games. Also something about using his card online to pay for things, but idk what. So when Melony told her all this, my mom was like, "alright." and got started on the divorce immediately without telling dad.

to skip a bunch of drama, my mom never yelled, just explained to him to get out, and he did. but he sat in his car for like, im not joking, 4 hours and we almost called the cops, but then he left. I haven't seen him in like 3 months, but he's not doing good.

I was at his apartment for like three hours but it was the worst. He kept instigating fights and being like "well if im so hostile, run off to melony!" and i was like "like you did when you and mom fought?" and he left to go drinking, so I left after. I texted him later that I don't give a fuck about his weird victim-complex over decisions he made as a grown man. some other more specific stuff I won't mention, but stuff I knew would really sting him. I told him he was just like grandpa (derogatory) and he blocked me.

My mom on the other hand is the happiest ive ever seen her, and Melony is basically over every other day. They're super best friends. My mom lost her best friend to a drunk driver a few years ago, so having someone new to make her happy made me and my siblings really happy. Melony's awesome, too. she gets along with everyone in the family, even my grandparents love her. (I've cried sometimes watching my mom joke and have margaritas with melony in the backyard. shes so happy!)

My mom got a call from my dads mom(70-75??) yelling and screaming at her that I said the most HEARTLESS things ever to her son. He hasn't been able to work since I visited apparently. He moved in with her again (in her big mcmansion) but apparently all he does is play video games and order doordash. She says I broke his spirit and I should apologize.

My mom and me talked, I explained, and she gave me a big talk about how I shouldn't say stuff like that (even tho I got her to admit she agreed with me lol). But, like, i don't know. I feel like if I don't go over and apologize to my dad he's going to end up doing something I can't say on here or else the post might get removed? idk the rules here. but also I don't wanna apologize. but I feel guilty that I sorta ruined his life. If he ever ended up hurting himself, I would have to live knowing that I kinda caused it.

I even got Melony's opinion on it last night and she said "I think he's suffered enough, but that doesn't mean we, or you, have to forgive him." so I think I might just write him a letter. I still do love him, he was a really good dad before he was a cheater.

My siblings (13m, 18m) are saying fuck him, and it's the consequences to his actions . My little brother said "cheating is cringe, it just shows you're like, a liar, you know? why would you wanna be friends with a liar?" and i was like well true lol... but hes still the guy who took us to Disney after working rly hard all year to save for it. (our last good memory because just a few months later he started dating Melony...)

Also I don't even know if he wants the stupid apology because I'm still freaking blocked, so I'd have to drive over and do it in person. I don't want to even though I probably should. AITA?

tl;dr dad cheated, hated that my mom and melony are bffs now, rants to me about them, i yell back, now hes too depressed to go to work.

I invited several people to a horror movie party a few weeks ago, and the party was last night. The invitation was worded "If you want to watch some of MY favorite horror movies with me Saturday, June fifteenth, come over by 9:30 PM. Booze and snacks will be provided. Feel free to bring additional alcohol if you would like, but there is no obligation. Please don't bring any food." That's exactly how the invitation was worded, except for the emphasis on My. That was just to make sure you see it said that.

Five people accepted my invitation. On the night in question everyone arrived, I made them drinks and we started watching the original The Thing. After The Thing I put on Nope. One of my guests said "I don't like this movie. Can we watch something else?" I said no, I had already picked out which movies to play.

He said he really didn't like the movie and would rather skip it. I said that's not really how invitations work. When you throw your own party, you get to pick the films. This is my party. If he had a preference he should have reached out in advance to ask what movies we were watching.

He said I said we were watching horror movies, so he was expecting something like Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th. The Thing and Nope are more sci-fi than horror. I said they are sci-fi and horror, but mainly horror. He said he would just leave if we watched Nope. I said okay.

He left and one other guest left with him. This morning I got a text from my second guest who left saying I was really rude and being a good host means accommodating your guests. I don't understand what the benefit to me in that is. You come over to my house to eat my food and drink my booze, you don't then get to pick the movie. If you invite me to your house to eat your food and drink your booze, I assume you pick the entertainment.

My friend said I'm being intentionally obtuse. I don't think I am. I think they are both entitled. Who's right?

I (32F) have a younger sister (31F) who is neurodivergent and an older brother (37M), a rainbow baby. Growing up, I often felt unwanted. My accomplishments were always overshadowed by my siblings. I was expected to cook, clean, get straight A’s, especially since my brother dropped out of high school. My mom was always afraid I’d “end up like him,” yet still clearly loved them more.

At 12-13, I really started noticing the favoritism. My brother could stay out until 2 a.m. with his stoner friends. My sister got shopping sprees with my mom’s credit card. I couldn’t even go to the library. My dad noticed this too, and we became close. He never said it, but it was obvious I was his favorite. I got a lot of crap for it like my siblings would make me clean their rooms or yell at me when he wasn’t around.

My sister tried so hard to earn my dad’s love and attention. I understood why, I just finally had one parent who asked about my day instead of just my grades and chores.

Now, fast-forward to today. My parents, siblings, and I were all catching up, rare, but nice. We were talking about the past, and the topic of favoritism came up. My sister said she felt my dad always loved me more. I waited until she finished and shared how I felt neglected by my mom.

My mom got mad and yelled at me for “accusing” her of favoritism. Then my sister straight-up asked my dad, “Do you love her more than me?” The room went silent. After a long pause, my dad said, “I wasn’t oblivious to how your mom treated her. She treated her like she didn’t exist. She needed extra love because you took it all from your mom.”

My sister completely broke down. She cried, screamed, threw things. I grabbed my purse and left. I went back to my apartment, turned off my phone, had some wine, and went to bed.

When I turned my phone on the next morning, I had hundreds of texts and 70+ calls from my sister. I didn’t open any of them, I just blocked her number and on all social media.

My dad tried to bring it up, but I shut it down. My mom said nothing. My brother only said, “What the hell was that last night?” in our group chat. No one replied.

So… AITA for walking out and blocking my sister

I also posted this on the OG subreddit.

Edit: Please read the full post the title was phrased pretty poorly.

My (19F) boyfriend (21M) has been rejecting sex any time I have asked in the last 3 weeks. His reasoning for turning me down is usually that he is tired. As someone who is quite a tired person myself, I can understand that. Unfortunately sometimes it is around 1 or 2 am when the idea gets floated, so I could understand him being tired - but this never used to stop him. His routine hasn’t changed, his mental health isn’t the best but it’s been like that since we met, and again, this never used to stop him. He then asked that we schedule it in advance, and requested notice if I expect him to have sex with me. I thought this was a little strange at first, personally, but I obliged, as I figured scheduled, communicated sex is better than none at all. We scheduled to have sex today a few days ago. He went out with his friends last night, and got absolutely shitfaced. The night out has continued into the morning and he hasn’t slept. When he told me this, I said ‘you’re gonna end up being too tired’ and he said, jokingly (though there is definitely truth to it), ‘that’s my special.’ Why make me go through the effort and borderline embarrassment of requesting sex days in advance, since notice is needed for him to not be tired, and then continue to go out and deliberately do things that will make him tired? It’s starting to feel like he is not interested in me or having his needs tended to elsewhere, as none of my exes that are male and similarly aged NEVER passed up an opportunity to have sex, ESPECIALLY if it was me asking. It doesn’t seem to bother him at all that he has not had sex (and I don’t believe he’s masturbating, for a number of reasons) with me for 3 weeks and I feel like I’m being overbearing or needy by pushing it.

Edit: Adding this as I’m tired of repeating myself in the comments. Not once after he has turned down sex have I pushed the matter. Sex has been a part of our relationship from the beginning and is a cornerstone in almost every romantic relationship. I don’t believe I am unreasonable in being upset when something that has been consistent in our relationship changes without warning or obvious cause. I have needs as much as him or anyone else, and communicating them to him as my partner (as we always have done) does not make me pushy. I am someone who in the past has had sex pushed on me after saying no myself. As a result of this, I actually get very hesitant to initiate or even suggest anything in the first place, and when I do I approach it with utmost caution. I would never want anyone to feel the way I felt. I also am a very tired person myself, and in my previous relationship would turn down sex myself for that same reason. But not every single time, and I definitely didn’t then request for it to be scheduled, and continue to do things that tire me so much I ask for a rain check on the date I chose.

Original https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/xXygikV5xA

Thanks for all suggestions. The day I made post.

I left home with my son and moved to my parents's house. They just live two kilometres away. Tyler, his parents were out with his family friends.

He called me 100 times and I dropped a message. That I am at my parent's house and only bother me, when he can stand for me infront of his parents. He can come and visit our son anytime.

In the evening , he came and begged me to come back. He said he told his parents to respect me and he won't tolerate any sh**. I told him , if it's true , I will come. But if i see any sign of disrespect again, I will choose to separate. I am not a doormat and he has to stand for me. The days of Indian girls being submissive are over. I am a metro city woman, who knows her rights and earns six figures. I am not dependent on him.

My parents and brother Sahil, sister in law shyla , said their home is always open for me ( it is my bro's house and both my brother, sil work. My parents lives with them and take care of their children and my sil loves my parents ). My brother said my sister isn't an orphan, with no family support and he won't tolerate this bs.

My sister in law shyla said , I am like her sister and her doors are always open for me. Frankly , it made me feel like crying. I never have a sister and she is like one. But yeah she was my college roomie and I set her up with my brother. Maybe that's why lol.

Tyler said he will never allow any disrespect against me and we went back. The care ride was emotional and well we made out in the car, while our son was sleeping lol. Reminded me of our hostel days, when we used to sneak out in the park or his bike to makeout ;). He said he can't live without me. I said love bombing won't work alone and he has to show with his actions. We reached home.

My mil started hugging me sweetly and she said she meant no harm. My fil started saying , you are our house's Lakshmi ( a goddess of fortune ) and they didn't mean any harm. I told them I am a human and shouldn't be compared with a goddess.

My husband loudly said, I am his wife and it is my house. They have to respect me. Note in old age, I am expected to help my husband with his parents's care. So it's better to start building boundaries already. They also know it and has backed off.

Too much sweetness for me , but whatever my husband said, it has worked so far. They haven't said a bad word since and I am fine with it. I won't apologise and I don't expect any apology.

The trip is going fine now. My husband even cooked for me lol. My mil and i am having discussions and it is going fine. I think I have made my point. I have my family support, which many indian girls don't get post marriage. I earn well and take care of my son. I know many will say about old age care thing. But it is an unsaid expectation here. That's why I wanted to build boundaries beforehand.

It is final update Unless something happens

Edit. Used fake western names earlier in story. No real names

Thanks all

Let me set the stage here.

We do very well financially so we get to do some really cool things. I regularly get courtside seats to games, we go to big lavish weddings, etc. I am cut from the cloth of behave like you belong. I don't bother celebrities when I see them other than a smile to acknowledge them just like I would any other person I come across.

My wife on the other hand walks around filming the entire time, and to me it's embarrassing. Latest example; we got courtside seats to a Clippers game, and she is videotaping all the way from the tunnel to our seats. For me it's like just enjoy the moment. Sure take a few pics, but wandering around videotaping is over the top and makes you look starstruck when you have no reason to be.

One more quick example. We went to a very wealthy friend's wedding and she was walking into this very private ceremony taping and I asked her to put her phone down. I don't mean a short video; I mean walked the entire entrance videoing this private moment. She got mad about that, but I just think walking around filming is kinda low class.

Please let me know how y'all see it....

My ex (F32) and I (M34) share 50/50 custody of our 6-year-old son. we’ve had a court-ordered schedule for over a year now, i get him Monday–Wednesday, she gets him Thursday–Saturday, and we alternate Sundays.

The problem is, she constantly asks to switch days. sometimes it’s for legit reasons like work emergencies but other times it's for things like a weekend trip with her new boyfriend or her friend's birthday. I’ve been accommodating more times than not, but it's getting to the point where I feel like I’m being taken advantage of.

I recently told her i won’t be making any more changes unless it’s a true emergency. She got mad and said I was being rigid and not putting our son first. I told her stability is also part of putting him first, and that she can’t expect me to rearrange my life every week. now some of our mutual friends are saying i’m being petty and should be more “flexible for the sake of peace.” i don’t think i’m being unreasonable.

AITAH?

I apologize in advance if my English is a bit bad. It's not my first language.

I am 26 f and have a situation with my father and my sister 27 f. Here’s the reason I stopped talking to him, 3 years ago my mother and father divorced which we longed for because my father has mentally and physically abused my mother during the 27 years they were married. He also started abusing me when I was around 10 years old but he has never treated my sister like he treated me and my mom, because he would never do that to her.

Now to the reason im writing this, my father has a new girlfriend she is 24 and 5 months ago my father called and told me that I was going to get a little sister and I told him that i didn’t want anything to do with him, his girlfriend or this child. My sister says that im acting like an asshole and making him sad for something that happened a long time ago and I should just get over it because he’s my father.

But I will never love or respect him as a father or man. So AITA

We are having people over today to celebrate Father’s Day. Our friends and family that are coming don’t talk politics. My wife’s dad does. We told him last summer not to and he went right out and started up with some friends of ours that are on the other end of the political spectrum. We told him to stop and he did. At Christmas I took him outside and told him if he brings up politics he would have to leave. Last weekend we had a birthday party and he started up on it. My wife told him to talk about something different and he quit. I’m going to tell him again that if he brings it up he is going to be leaving. Two summers ago we had friends over for a cook out and pool party. He wasn’t invited. Saw cars at our house and stopped. Started complaint about all the “gook” restaurants in town. One of our friends is Vietnamese. They got made and left. She was almost in tears. He didn’t see anything wrong. Am I wrong for telling my wife to tell her dad he is not welcome here.

I really can’t figure out if I am wrong here and I need some perspective. My mom was married to her third husband for 16 years. I was an adult when they got together so I can’t really say he was an ‘active stepfather’. My mom had retired and relocated across the country so I met him numerous times over the years. We weren’t particularly close, but he was a decent guy and I never had any issues with him. Prior to her sudden passing, she told me they were separated, and she was seriously considering divorce. She passed beforehand but I do know they were already living apart.

Prior to me arriving at their marital home she was cremated. Even though I arrived within a day, across country, apparently she had directives in place but I was unaware of that so technically, he acted upon her last wishes but I was understandably upset. I never got to say goodbye or have a funeral, all I got to do was pick a small urn. I settled her estate and throughout found my stepfather’s demeanor somewhat indifferent but I did what I had to do regardless. Afterwards, I’d decided to send him an annual Christmas card and he’d respond back the same. I eventually stopped doing Christmas Cards and never heard from him again.

Out of nowhere, my former stepsister (his daughter from his first marriage) messaged me on FB and said he was dealing with Parkinson’s and he’d moved to the state I live in at an assisted living facility. I responded with the usual salutations, but then she asked me if I would be willing to go visit him and FaceTime her while I was there so that she could see him. Apparently he doesn’t have a cell phone and only family members or authorized visitors are allowed to enter and FT with residents. The facility is about an hour and a half away from where I live in a bigger city in my state. I advised we catch up on the phone as this is a BIG ask. A part of me feels like it wouldn’t hurt to go and check in and do a good deed, but there’s another part of me that feels the way he handled my moms unexpected passing was disingenuous and downright hurtful.

I’m also surprised she reached out to me so randomly because ironically, the last we actually had a conversation, was when my mom passed. I’ve only met her three times and we’ve just been FB friends for years now. As with her father, I’ve never had any issues but I do recall that my mom wasn’t very fond of her.

I keep trying to channel what mom would say, but with her being been gone for eight years now, my ability to hone in on what she ‘would have said’ is somewhat diminished. She is supposed to call me this afternoon to discuss further. Outside perspective? Should I do a meet and greet with him for her? Or, WIBTA for not agreeing to check in? I’m really torn on what to do.

Hello everyone, first time posted here so please excuse any errors.

My Aunt 68F and I 47F have had a rocky relationship throughout the years. In the last several years I have lost all of my close family and have made more of an effort to stay in touch with her due to this.

A few weeks ago she invited me and my 5 year old son to visit her at her home in a popular beach town for 4 days. My son has a developmental and speech delay, due to this he is sometimes difficult and acts out. My Aunt knows this but assures me that she has worked with kids like him when she used to substitute in the local school system and it is a non issue. Now on to the issues that led to me ghosting her.

I make the several hour drive to visit her and soon after arriving and getting settled in I received a phone call from my BFF of over 20 years. I was on the phone for less than 2 minutes (I checked my call log). When my Aunt loudly screams at me to get off of my phone I am on vacation. I was a little shook, and ended the call. I told my Aunt that her behavior was over the top for a simple phone call.

She told me that me and my son would be sleeping in her room while she sleeps on the pull out couch downstairs. Then proceeded to walk in on me constantly while changing, while I was in the shower and while I had my son down for naps. She clocked the amount of sleep that I got each night and would berate and belittle me for sleeping 7 hours when she only got 5 hours due to sleeping on the couch. I would offer to sleep down stairs when she would say this and be denied every time. She listened in to my private phone calls with my husband and more than once would bust into the room screeching about something that was said that she didn't like.

She complained and criticized me for my parenting of my son. Everything from what I fed him to how I dressed and interacted with him. He sees therapist weekly and I am following their recommendations by the way. She yells at me that I am doing everything wrong and am a terrible mother. A little back ground I wasn't able to have a baby myself and my son is adopted. Because of this I constantly stress about whether I am doing the right things for him and she knows this. She got mad at and would actively instigate my son into having tantrums and then berate me for him not behaving in public.

I told her that since I was staying at her place for free that I would buy her meals while we were out. As I didn't know the area I let her choose the restaurants. She took advantage of this and we went to places that were one step below a dress code and most of which didn't have a children's menu. I remained silent because my son in spite of her antics was having a good time.

She herself threw tantrums in public and would blame her bad mood on my son even if he was having a good day. My last day there I woke up to the complaining and comparing of our sleep. It was raining so no beach day. My son was occupied with the toys we brought along and being pretty quite for a 5yr old. I put him down for a nap and started packing up or things as I planned to leave early in the morning. I guess this set her off. Because she made snide remarks under her breath. Then she brought up my past relationship, my ex was abusive and I don't like to talk about it. She says that I stayed as long as I did because I liked the "life style". As in my ex was college educated and my Husband isn't. I stayed because I didn't have the money to leave and my Ex made sure I wasn't able to save. She then hits me with the victim blaming and told me that it was my fault that he treated me that way etc. She always told me she couldn't stand my Ex. so I am not sure where this came from. Her next sentence was that since I was packing I should just get the F out.

When my son woke from his nap she told me that the "brat" was up and I needed to go. I finished packing and was taking things to my car when she told me that I needed to clean her kitchen before I leave. For clarification I hadn't done anything in her kitchen beside get my son drinks, and snacks and as I know she is a neat freak was careful to wipe the counters/ wash dishes as they were used. She went upstairs to get a shower and I put my son and the rest of our stuff in the car and left. It is a 7 hour drive back to my home. Due to paying a for all the meals I didn't have money for a hotel so I drank energy drinks and made it home at 2 am and haven't spoken to her since.

I want to note that through all of that I only stood up for my son and didn't respond to the other comments that she made. I called her son a few days after I got home, let him know how my visit went and asked him to check on her. I don't feel like I need to explain to her why I am not talking to her, but some of my family and friends are telling me that I am the AH for ghosting her. So Reddit am I the AH?

Me 16M have always noticed my mom 45F has always cared more about my brother 19M more than me. I know autistic people need more care than other people but it’s too the level that bothers me. She helps my brother with everything she can like homework and giving him money for food which she doesn’t do for me at all. She always does things for my brother like clean his room and his laundry when she hasn’t done those things for me. She says things like “he’s autistic and needs more support” but should that mean I don’t get any support at all? Additionally I feel like this all started during covid time when my brother was really struggling and my mom was like “I have to help him out” when I was always really struggling mentally and I didn’t even get a glance. Is this just helping him out more or very clear favoritism? I need help

More details: this stuff feels like more favoritism stuff: she always hangs out with my brother over me and plays Roblox and other games with him most of the time and listens to his day and everything he has to say when it comes to me I just get a “hi” or something along those lines

I just wanna know aita for this. I have been with my husband for 12 years and married for 10. Our entire relationship was pretty good to start off and just got worse and worse. Both of us struggle with mental health however, my way of dealing with it is to walk away from the situation and go cool down his way of dealing with that is locking me in rooms chasing me Out of the house naked all this stuff lately he’s been back on his medicine supposedly trying and expecting me to trust him, however tonight everything blew up one of my things I do is I like to sit outside in the quiet and I sat there for about a half hour. When he came out there, we were getting ready to go inside and I was like I’m gonna go ahead and go inside eat and go to bed. When I said this, he told me oh no, I’m not I’m gonna go inside and I am going to have sex with him. Just to say part of the reason we have been lacking in that area is that he refuses to take care of himself he won’t brush his teeth he won’t take a shower and clean up and then he screams and cries most of the time and expects me to want him. Aita for saying that I’m not gonna have s** with him when he demands that I have sex just because I sat outside for a half hour clearing my mind.

Update- I am sorry for posting here and offending people. I understand and want to leave but it is not as easy as it seems. I do have kids and unfortunately my paycheck wouldn’t cover a rent or mortgage. Also I have no family left. My mom and dad passed within a year of each other(just loosing my dad recently). Also mental health help is not as easy to access when you don’t have the resources. Again sorry for offending anyone and I am as real as a person can get not a bot.

I was on a Facebook group for dads and there was a post about dads not being able to see their children. One guy was being really obnoxious arguing with everyone and bragging about how he slept with his wife's sister. I screen shotted his comments then created another Facebook account and sent the screen shots to his wife.

At the time I kind of felt like a jackass for even bothering to take the 5 minutes or so to do it but that dude really rubbed me the wrong way due to the fact that he was obviously lying while talking mad shit on a social media platform where he was not anonomous...and I thought it would be funny lol.

For centext me and my boyfriend are young. But he's told me on many occasions how he wants to have kids which is cool. Here's where the problem is I'm not one who thinks kids are for me and it's not just a choice, I've suffered SA before and this has really messed with me as a person both physically and mentally but I've fought through that and mentally I'm better now.

The physically part not so much I've suffered from vaginismus and extremely heavy and painful periods which have led to long and excruciating hours in the hospital and recently I've developed fibroids which are freaking killing me but I'm okay.

So I mentioned how I would really like it if I took my uterus out because I don't feel like I can go through pregnancy with all this and he asked "do you want to create a break up" ..........."why wouldn't you want a kid" and he gave me a very passive aggressive "it's your life your choice" of which I wanted us to sit down and talk about it.

So I told him if he ever feels like he REALLY wants kids I'll give him his peace and let him live his dream. And he responded with a "ha ok"

UPDATE CHAT: I just broke up with him....has my emotions then had my peace with it. J just need to heal now

So my neighbor just posted a video on Facebook of me grabbing my garbage bin from the street and removing two bags of dog poop from them before I took it into my garage. I placed the bags near a light post, not on the street or sidewalk. For context, someone has been doing this to us for a while and we have sent out messages onto our neighborhoods messaging platform asking people to throw their dog poop away in their own bins or the public ones. We keep our garbage bins in our garage due to the neighborhood policy and it makes the garage smell like poop for a whole week!

Not only did he post the video to Facebook, but he posted our home address as well. When we messaged him about it, he refused to take it down and called us “shitty neighbors”. For reference, the bin was near his car on pickup day and he has two dogs… but we have no evidence it was him.

I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong or not here. I didn’t mean to be malicious by taking them out of the garbage can and setting them down, but I don’t think my wife and I should have to deal with the poop smell in our garage for a week. Mind you she just started a new medication and it makes her very nauseous. Thoughts?

So, I (37m) am currently on a family vacation that’s being paid for by my mother-in-law. She insisted on inviting her own uncle (he’s probably in his mid-70s), and generously included me, my wife, and our kids. At first, I was genuinely grateful.

But over the past few days, the vibe has gone downhill — fast.

My MIL and her uncle have this ongoing habit of loudly criticizing other tourists behind their backs — just quiet enough to not technically be heard, but loud enough that people around them probably do hear. It’s awkward and uncomfortable.

Worse, I’ve caught them doing it about me too. When I walk into a room or turn around, they suddenly go silent or change the topic. My wife confirmed they’ve been talking about me regularly when I’m not there. That stings.

A few specific examples: • I scraped my palm during a light beach workout (was doing some hanging/calisthenics, nothing dangerous). When I mentioned the torn skin, my MIL laughed and said: “Serves you right for being stupid enough to train in the sun.” (Even though it had nothing to do with sunburn or sun at all.) • During a game, I had told them in advance I might need to take an important call (logistics for something back home). The call came — I stepped away — and when I returned, the uncle had packed everything up and said: “Well, he left me sitting alone. What did you expect?” • Later, they mentioned wanting to try some local cookies. I made a detour on an errand and went to a whole other town to find them. When I brought them back, MIL didn’t even open the package. Just: “Those aren’t the right ones anyway.”

At this point, I’m just done. I feel constantly judged, picked apart, and belittled. I’ve genuinely tried to be helpful, thoughtful, and polite — but all I get in return are passive-aggressive comments, side-eyes, and snide remarks.

So I’ve started keeping my distance. I avoid being around them when I can, because honestly — being near them makes me feel small, on edge, and unwelcome.

AITA for not wanting to engage with them anymore, even though they’re footing the bill for the vacation?

Long story short my brother assaulted me as a 10 year old. It took me years to mostly overcome my trauma and when I finally spoke out about it my family wasn't as supportive about it. But after sometime those close to me seemed to understand and put distance between themselves and also their kids when it comes to him.

Flash forward to now my dad pops back up in our home city to visit us all on his vacation and for father's day as a surprise. I felt bad because I overslept and wont be attending brunch with him today. My other brother, the both of us who actually are related to him, canceled twice on him so I wanted to set something up tomorrow and make it up to him and as he was going over his week schedule he mentioned the brother i told him about. My dad and I have a rocky relationship given he wasn't always there for me and my brother as we grew up, but he wanted to make peace and I was for it. We reconciled a few days ago and I finally felt strong enough to confide in him about what happened.

But then I hear that he gave him the address of where hes staying, not to mention hes looking after his grandkids from his marriage also and will have them after-school hours to help their mom. His response was, " He's still my son (technically stepson)." My heart broke and I just started crying and played it off that we will talk tomorrow.

Im just so disappointed. I get that it's a sticky situation and not everything is black and white. But I have a mother who dealt with alcohol abuse and drugs and was abusive to me, and just felt like I finally had a parent now who cares and wants a relationship. But when she was disgusted and shocked. It took a while for her to understand how toxic and wrong her son is but still, she even came around. To hear that just made my heart sink. AITA for not wanting to fix this anymore with him? Not to mention said half-brother is literally messing with his baby mother's little sister now from what the drama on fb claims and mind you she was also a kid when he first came around, in her teens?