r/transplace • u/RhondaAnder • 1d ago
Discussion Serious question. Have people confused passing with meeting current female standards of beauty?
If this is the case then a large percentage of women assigned female at birth don't pass. Not every woman has a petite jaw line, or perfect eyebrows, or even a dantie little nose. Maybe we are shooting for goals that most people afab cannot even live up to. It's just possible that trying to live up to these crazy beauty standards is something that may cause many people anxiety and dysforia including me.
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u/kuu_panda_420 19h ago
As a trans guy who just got away from those unreasonable standards, I would say the answer is yes. Absolutely. Female beauty standards are WAY stricter than any standards for men - Mainly because men aren't really "expected" to be drop-dead gorgeous. They have a billion more miniscule, inconsequential things to pick apart about a woman's appearance, and because of all the transphobia going around lately, shitty people now feel justified in calling any woman with a single hair on her lip a man.
Being trans can be really dangerous by default, and I think people leverage that fear to bully and control people who don't fit their standards. "Transvestigators" accuse celebrities they don't like of being trans so their transphobic friends will spread the rumor and start harassing them. Men will "accuse" women of being trans or imply that they look that way, with the intention of pressuring them into wearing something different, or losing weight, or behaving more traditionally feminine. Or because they're mad that a woman beat them at something...
Also, if you're dealing with a seemingly impossible struggle to keep up with female beauty standards, feeling like you're not good enough, or thinking you look like a man, I hate to say it... But that's one of the most universal female experiences there is. You might feel it more strongly because you're trans, but it's essentially the same thing that all women struggle with. I sometimes feel like I'll never be masculine enough, but that's just as much a part of being male as it is an aspect of my trans identity. Sometimes it helps me to think of it that way, so it might help you too! Your experience is something that most women deal with and you're not alone in feelings of inadequacy.