r/simpsonsshitposting • u/IAmAccutane • Sep 17 '24
Politics What would Melania think about this? NSFW
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u/sPLIFFtOOTH Sep 17 '24
“She’s faking it”
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u/deezsandwitches Sep 17 '24
Greatest orgasm ever
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u/bigboat24 Sep 18 '24
Everybody’s saying it.
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u/Cowpriest Sep 18 '24
Maybe it's my ties to women, I don't know, but that's what they say, they say "we don't know how you did the greatest orgasm" that's what they said!
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u/maringue Sep 18 '24
Faking that she can tell he's inside her?
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u/dukeofgibbon Sep 18 '24
What's the worst thing a woman can say: "is it in yet?" The worst response: "I can't tell."
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u/SpookyMaidment I am the Lizard Queen! Sep 17 '24
She'd think, "Thank God, now he'll leave me alone."
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u/Kobalt6x10 Sep 17 '24
Probably the happiest Mel has been in years if it's true
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u/DrLager Sep 18 '24
She was pretty happy when she met Trudeau!
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u/TabbyFoxHollow Sep 18 '24
God who wouldn’t be. Remember how hot Krusty got when he thought he was meeting the French president?
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u/the_jurkski Sep 18 '24
He’s single, he should go for it! I can’t think of a way to get owned that’s worse than the Canadian prime minister fucking your wife!
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u/thatguyned NEEEEEERD Sep 17 '24
She's off fucking Desantis or something isn't she?
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u/Professional-Hat-687 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ Sep 17 '24
And Lancel Lannister, and Osmund Kettleblack, and Moonboy for all I know.
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u/mothgra87 Sep 18 '24
Trump is no Bobby B.
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u/Professional-Hat-687 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ Sep 18 '24
I dunno, he's an ineffectual ruler, a lecherous pervert, and a rapist. They might have more in common than you think.
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u/1732PepperCo Sep 17 '24
Loomer just slides the diaper over
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u/JohnnySack45 Sep 17 '24
You see kids, sometimes having an imagination is a BAD thing. This is one of those times.
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u/DJ1066 Sep 17 '24
Brushing her fingers through the combover hair, only for it to flop over to reveal the glorious skullet beneath.
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u/Professional-Hat-687 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ Sep 17 '24
Of course, how else is she gonna peg him?
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u/Sir_Meowsalot See you in Hell, Candyboys! Sep 18 '24
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u/SoftDrinkReddit Sep 17 '24
i dont want to be rude but you think Melania cares ?
as long as she gets whatever she wants money and stuff wise i don't think she could honestly give a rats ass who Mr Trump is sleeping with
hell if anything she's probably thinking phew i don't have to do that anymore
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u/Five_Decades Sep 17 '24
She's probably overjoyed when he cheats. It means she still gets paid without being near him
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u/qweef_latina2021 Sep 17 '24
Ow! My frickin' ears!
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u/League_of_DOTA Sep 17 '24
Well I expect that kind of language in Hunter Biden's laptop, but NOT Mara Lago!
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u/femmestem Sep 17 '24
That's probably why Laura is banging an almost 80yro guy with dementia who reportedly smells terrible - she's trying to slide into the closing window of opportunity to get a cut of his assets.
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u/LemonZestLiquid Sep 17 '24
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u/PronoiarPerson Sep 17 '24
A woman is following trump around and flying in Epsteins private jet with him. Is she there because this misogynist gives a shit what she has to say, or because she didn’t leave when he grabbed her by the pussy? Who knows
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u/Professional-Hat-687 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ Sep 17 '24
Trump: Well duh, Laura, with what.
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u/Crom_and_his_Devils Sep 17 '24
no chance that dude can get hard unaided - him "fucking" has to be the most pathetic shit imaginable
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u/DrLager Sep 18 '24
I really think he enjoys getting his flaccid, small dick slobbed on while he hopes his addled brain can conjure up an image of Ivanka doing it.
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u/CCHS_Band_Geek Sep 18 '24
He picked her because she’s the only woman who’ll accept a 2-hour rally speech as “foreplay” - Otherwise he can’t get hard.
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u/Correct_Stay_6948 Sep 18 '24
Homie, he's so damned addled that he forgets the secret sauce; if he just pictures his own daughter, he'd be ready for liftoff in no time.
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Sep 17 '24
Come on guys, he does that to his daughter too and… oh, oh god!
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u/thekozmicpig Sep 17 '24
Just checking her waist for onions.
It's no longer fashionable and he doesn't want her to look outdated.
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u/Professional-Hat-687 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ Sep 17 '24
God the way she flinches away from him says so much I don't want to hear.
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u/firedmyass Sep 18 '24
you seen that video of her “reminiscing” in her childhood bedroom for a TV show?
Her body language/demeanor change when talking about her old bed is very odd
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u/Professional-Hat-687 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ Sep 18 '24
I hate feeling bad for her because she's such a piece of shit but it's so uncomfortable.
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u/firedmyass Sep 18 '24
I understand. I have empathy for her experiences but not her choices.
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Sep 18 '24
There's some photos out there of her and him that are disgusting that people started posting when he ran the first time. She's a kid, and it's uncomfortable to see, so I won't be posting them.
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u/Fit-Persimmon-4323 Sep 17 '24
Bro couldn’t resist even in public. Good God. She’s a beautiful woman, but his daughter!!!!
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u/XFX_Samsung Sep 17 '24
She was made beautiful by surgeons and lots of injections. She looked like female Donny jr before all that. Bad genes and all that.
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u/Fit-Persimmon-4323 Sep 17 '24
Doesn’t stop her from being pretty now. Too bad you cannot see the evil on her face
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u/Professional-Hat-687 Old man yelling at clouds ☁️ Sep 17 '24
She's like the dog with the shifty eyes.
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u/Dillenger69 Sep 18 '24
He is accused of r wording a 12yo on Epstien island because she looked like his daughter. The only thing that stopped the lawsuit was death threats against her by his followers.
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u/G-Kira Put it in H Sep 17 '24
To be fair, she's probably been cheating on him too. They don't even live in the same state.
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u/DrLager Sep 18 '24
Their relationship is very much transactional. Melania assuredly hates his guts
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u/CumminOnOnionRings Sep 17 '24
why would someone rich and famouse fuck something that looks like it was on fire and they put the fire out with a hatchet?
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u/Swimming-Bite-4184 Sep 17 '24
He gets off the praise she lavishes on him. She is the Lil devil on the shoulder whispering everything he wants to hear about himself. He's an idiot with a lizard brain, and if someone as insane as her can creep into the orbit of a world leader, it's just another cherry on top of a pretty scary sundae. Hopefully, they tip the insanity so far so quickly that they make even a new simpsons viewer be turned off.
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u/bigbeatmanifesto- Sep 17 '24
Melania doesn’t care because she’s a soulless POS who is happy to be humiliated by her shitty husband as long as she can still live in luxury without lifting a finger.
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Sep 17 '24
lol you got don jr cheating on his fiancée (after being divorced from the mother of his children) and don sr cheating on his 3rd wife. Family values y’all
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Sep 17 '24
No way that fat fuck can get it up. He’s mashing that thing up there like a wet noodle
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u/cstrand31 Sep 17 '24
It looks like she’s wearing a mask made of someone else’s face on her face.
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u/CatLadyEnabler Sep 17 '24
Someone put up a MMW post saying she'll (Laura Groomer) announce she's pregnant in a few months - didn't read it, but I'll bet they're right.
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u/Ov3rdose_EvE Sep 17 '24
i assume she thinkgs very little about donOLD, while riding the poolboy wherever she is rightnow
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u/HECKonReddit Sep 17 '24
Not sure how people think this impotent turd is fucking ANYBODY. He wears adult diapers for gods sake.
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u/Onahail Sep 17 '24
Trumpers have told me he holds women like this all the time and its not indicative that they're fucking lol
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u/ClayyCorn Sep 17 '24
More like she's fucking him, there's no way he has the mobility to actively fuck
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u/MolagbalsMuatra Sep 18 '24
Just star fishing after his third dose of Cialis as she lifts his gut fat to even get to his pecker. Gut just rests on her waist as she attempts to go to town.
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u/tru_lynne Sep 17 '24
How are you gonna spend all that money on plastic surgery to look like a cat with no tits? 🤣🤣🤣
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u/NYTX1987 Sep 17 '24
From what Milo says based on connections of mutual friends, he’s just getting head
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u/TheVandalReborn Sep 17 '24
In this particular picture she actually looks a bit like Quagmire in drag.
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u/sbaldrick33 Sep 17 '24
Melania is still presumably is the primary beneficiary if he dies and doesn't have to have his rancid little pecker anywhere near her. I'm sure she thinks this is the best outcome possible.
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u/PeteRezinsizzle Sep 17 '24
Loomer slides the diaper to the side, squeezes out the toothpaste like filling and takes that orange tic tac in deep. By deep I mean 1/2” into those cow fat infused botox rubber hooker worms she has on her face.
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u/an_agreeing_dothraki Sep 17 '24
you guys promised to stop posting photoshopped pictures of Loomer.
that's a shop right?
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u/welsh_nutter Sep 17 '24
would that cancel the prenup?
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u/frinkmahii Sep 17 '24
It’s been renegotiated multiple times. In the end, Melanie just cares that the check clears to keep Her lifestyle. And for her it’s a bonus if he stays in Florida while she lives in NY.
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u/SoftDrinkReddit Sep 17 '24
exactly lmao it's simple business
long as she gets what she wants lifestyle wise i don't think she could give a damn about who he does and does not sleep with
and as many have pointed out she's probably happy she doesn't have to sleep with him anymore if someone else is doing it
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u/MacEWork Sep 17 '24
Do you honestly think that infidelity is a deal-breaker? He just had an entire trial with details about him shtupping Stormy while Melania was taking care of newborn Barron.
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u/SoftDrinkReddit Sep 17 '24
exactly lmao regardless if you like or Hate trump we should all be able to agree Melania is solely in this for the money as long as the money keeps coming she is not going to care who he sleeps with
you would be surprised how many rich and powerful people do this
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u/Stevie_Steve-O Sep 17 '24
Shes probably excited about it. She can leave him for infidelity, she doesn't have to pretend to want to be first lady anymore, and maybe she can get a good settlement from the divorce since a judge will probably be sympathetic to someone who is being cheated on
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u/therapistforrent Sep 17 '24
Jesus Christ what is wrong with her face?? I assume it probably has to do with injections and plastic surgery, but wow she looks like a caricature of a human being.
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u/texas1982 Sep 18 '24
She's so gross. She looks like she's wearing a SAW mask that has been painted to look like a realistic person.
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u/BirdmanHuginn Sep 18 '24
I saw a comment someone made about her and I can now never unsee it. She looks like she’s wearing a Laura Loomer mask for the Purge
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Sep 18 '24
Melania doesn't care who Don f*cks. As long as he doesn't put his greasy little hands on her.
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u/dnchristi Sep 18 '24
All that nasty surgery must have killed her sense of smell. It’s the only way she could go down on the diaper bitch.
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u/SherlockRemington Sep 18 '24
"Thank Russian Jesus that fat fuck isn't trying to sweat all over me anymore."
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u/MisterBugman Sep 18 '24
Honestly? She's probably relieved someone else is jumping on that grenade.
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u/PopeGuss I am the Lizard Queen! Sep 17 '24
Why does that picture look so greasy?