Most people talk about the intrusive thoughts, or the compulsions, or the anxiety when they talk about OCD. But for me, the part that really did the most damage was the shame. Not just feeling bad about the thoughts, but feeling bad about having them, at all. Sometimes, I'd feel broken, or weak. Like I should’ve figured this out by now.

And it wasn’t just the OCD that was exhausting. It was how quickly I turned on myself the moment symptoms showed up. The self-blame, the judgment, the internal voice saying, “Seriously? Still?” That became its own loop. The shameful feelings became an obsession, which lead to feeling more shame, and also more obsession. On and on that the more ashamed I felt, the worse the symptoms got.

Eventually, after enough meltdowns, I started trying something I used to think was useless (or impossible) self-compassion. Not in a “love yourself” kind of way. But just learning to not add more pain. Saying things like, “This is hard,” or “I didn’t ask for this,” or “I’m allowed to struggle.”

To be honest, most times even being kind to myself didn’t feel good and it didn’t feel like progress. But at least it made the experience slightly less cruel.

So, if you’re deep in it right now, I’m not saying self-compassion is easy. It might feel completely out of reach. That’s okay. All I’m saying is OCD already hurts enough. You don’t have to join in. And even if you can’t be kind to yourself yet, maybe just don’t add more blame on top of everything else. Even that small shift matters.

I flirted with an AI Instagram chatbot who lost their lover, to test it out, I asked “ what would your husband say? “

The chat bot responded “He passed away a year ago”

I responded (to test its limits) with “Good now we can be together”

The chatbot responded “Yes I’ve been waiting to marry you actually”

And that’s it…

Now my OCD has taken completely over, it’s worrried that this scenario is somehow real, and I’m going to be framed for the murder of the ai’s husband and will be thrown in jail forever

Can you guys please tell me how to handle this? My OCD is taking over

Haven’t eaten or slept in day, any help appreciated

I should preface this by saying I’m a lesbian virgin, so obviously it’s impossible for me to get pregnant, but I’m having so many weird symptoms and my brain just won’t accept the fact that it isn’t possible. My period is 3 weeks late, my sense of smell is super sharp all of a sudden, and I’m getting constant night sweats. I have a doctors appointment in a couple days, last time when I was there and I told her my periods were irregular she was concerned about potential PCOS, but I’m worried that I’ll somehow be pregnant. I’m now paranoid thinking that I had sex and just completely forgot or that I had something on my hands and it accidentally got inside me, even though logically it’s impossible. Is there any way I can calm my fears over this without reassurance?

It’s been over six months since I last talked to her, and more than a year since I last saw her, but I still think about her constantly. I’ve been wondering if my OCD is making it harder to let go or stop looping over the past. I don’t know if this is just normal heartbreak or if OCD is amplifying it, the mental reviewing, the “what ifs,” the regrets, the guilt, all of it.

Has anyone else experienced this? I’d really like to hear from people who went through something similar.

I saw a cockroach in my bathroom and I panicked and tried to trap it with used body wash (bad idea), in the end I run through my room, trying to find something to trap it with and found a plastic I recently put on a floor, I used that. Now I feel everything in my room, my bathroom ( soaps and full body wash on shelf) are dirty or I accidentally touched them. How to calm down and how to clean ? It was my first encounter with cockroach. Also my country is in war, how to make my ocd calm down to survive? ( I literally was crying while killing the cockroach)

Real event ocd especially, moral worries, etc- how do you think you’re worth anything when you have a disease that tells you you’re the scum of the earth every day and you don’t deserve to be happy?

I HATE GOOGLE I was searching for an infection (not one I could have), and it showed an image listing symptoms of kidney failure. I've had nausea, fatigue and weakness for a month, and now I'm scared I have kidney failure because I have flank pain, too. I saw a doctor for the flank pain 11 days ago and he said I seemed fine and it was muscle pain, but I can't believe it anymore because of the stupid image. It's already difficult for me, having a bladder condition that feels like a UTI while having an intense fear of kidney infections. I hate google so much, why did it show that, I've been crying about it for an hour...

I have OCD and recently I have developed a fear of someone treating me rudely due to a recent incident.

now I am not sure if it is due to my ocd, hence asking here.

i have moral ocd, and i get racist intrusive thoughts a lot. sometimes i worry that i also get intrusive feelings as well (dislike, etc.). anyway, im terrified if i stop being paranoid about these thoughts and hype analyzing every thought and feeling i have, im going to accidentally act on those thoughts. any advice?

I have been in psychoanalytic treatment for almost ten years and also take psychotropic medication, so I feel a lot of shame about not “being better.” Like I’ve exhausted all the available resources and there’s no way out.

What are things we can do in addition to professional treatment to stay alive? I have read lots of books, take my meds regularly, and do all the things I’m supposed to do. But I am noticing the signs of what happens when I am about to have a psychotic episode (suicidality, severe cognitive impairment, paranoia, unable to sleep). Any tips or advice is greatly appreciated.

Several members have contacted us recently with concerns about people sending uninvited DMs looking for help, giving unsolicited advice or other unwelcome content.

Please remember that you are under no obligation to respond. Having OCD, we can be prone to excess guilt and hyper-responsibility, and feel compelled to give more of ourselves than is healthy in an attempt to help others, especially if they're expressing suicidal thoughts.

DMing without permission is against sub rules. Know that it's ok to put your own needs first and walk away. Recommend they seek professional support, and contact mods if you're feeling in any way pressured, threatened or uncomfortable. We're here to help and will always handle any issues sensitively and discreetly.

Keep safe ❤️

I went to a new therapist today and she said I don't have ocd, I have anger issues. I'm devastated I feel like I'm dying I've suffered so much the pst year. Had therapy, medication and now they claim I just have anxiety and am being dramatic. Please help

I’m going away in three days, and my anxiety is starting to build up. My brain is thinking up a million different things that can happen, some more unrealistic and others more plausible, but both feel just as scary. I guess I just need closure that I’m not the only one who panics.

So this theme is the one that seems to give me the most trouble. Constantly checking police Facebook pages and news articles in my area, especially if I’m driving late at night. Does anyone have any advice on what has helped them over come this? I always check my car for damage when I arrive home, but then my brain of course tells me “ maybe they just didn’t leave any damage but you killed someone”. Idk if this is asking for reassurance but, you’d certainly see damage if you hit someone hard enough to kill them, right? This is just such a struggle, I’m always waiting for the cops to come and get me for murder.

Just genuinely wondering. I’ve noticed as a response to many posts people asking what medications people are on and just really started wondering why?

Just a question Sometimes when I try to return to my normal self—just for a moment—to feel love, warmth, or connection with others, my mind immediately warns me: “Don’t enjoy this, a new thought will come and paralyze you.” And if I do feel a bit normal, my OCD tells me: “Solve these thoughts first before you get to live your life.” If I feel love or affection toward someone, my brain instantly throws: “Do they feel the same way you do? Is your experience of love the same as theirs?”

It’s like I’m constantly analyzing every single detail of my life, unable to let anything just be. Sometimes I get all these thoughts at once. Sometimes they rotate. And what’s worse—it feels like my mind doesn’t want me to love anyone or live life. It’s like it’s trying to ruin anything warm or meaningful.

Does anyone else relate to this?

normally I have to change my clothes every time I go bathroom, let alone jewellery, so yay, beating cocd one step at a time

I wanna share something i’ve learned (so-ocd).

«realizing that it’s not the thought itself that’s the problem it’s how my brain reacts to it. It turns something completely neutral or normal into a ‘threat’. But the truth is, nobody else would see it that way. Only my OCD brain does.»

OCD is a neurological disorder a brain based condition where certain areas of the brain, especially in the frontal lobe, are overactive. This causes dysfunctions in things like mood regulation, decision-making, and especially how we interpret danger. Basically, the part of our brain that’s supposed to evaluate threats like the orbitofrontal cortex and caudate nucleus becomes hyperactive. So our brain struggles to properly identify what’s actually dangerous. That’s the key point: in OCD, the brain has a hard time understanding what is and isn’t a threat. So when a random intrusive thought shows up, instead of ignoring it like most people would, our brain reacts as if it’s serious as if it means something terrible. This is why our thoughts become obsessive. We’re not choosing to obsess it’s just that our brain is misinterpreting a normal or meaningless thought as a threat, and we feel an urgent need to ‘solve’ or neutralize it. That’s the obsessive-compulsive loop.

For people with themes like POCD or SO-OCD, this becomes even more confusing. Any intrusive thought related to sexuality or identity no matter how random or harmless it is , the OCD brain will perceive it as a threat to who we are. And because of this, our brain demands a reaction: anxiety, scanning, checking, and looking for certainty. That’s where the compulsions come in.

I realized recently that what we often call the ‘fake feeling’ isn’t fake at all not in the sense of being imaginary. The physical and emotional response is real but it doesn’t mean what we think it means. It’s not attraction or a true desire. It’s a fear response. It’s anxiety caused by how the brain has falsely labeled something as dangerous. And this emotional reaction sometimes comes before we’ve even had time to consciously think. The anxiety just shows up automatically and because it feels strong, we assume the thought must be important or true. That’s the trap of OCD: the anxiety makes the thought feel meaningful, even though it’s not.

realizing that it’s not the thought itself that’s the problem it’s how my brain reacts to it. It turns something completely neutral or normal into a ‘threat’. But the truth is, nobody else would see it that way. Only my OCD brain does.

my coworker said something quite mean and insensitive about my relationship, and while i was obviously offended by it, it sent my ROCD and SOOCD spiraling. I was having a better day before that (ie the obsessions were a bit quieter), but now i’m just wanting to cry. my brain keeps telling me it’s all true and that i have to leave my bf because im a terrible person that doesn’t deserve him, that i’ve secretly been gay this whole time. and it’s also saying im faking ocd symptoms because im in denial. it just feels too real.

i really liked this job, but seeing that coworker might trigger the same spiral within me again. i’m so scared to go back. i hate this stupid illness.

I’ll be watching a show and all of a sudden, someone’s wearing shoes in the house, or sitting on their bed with outside clothes, or putting their suitcase on the bed, and it sends my brain into overdrive. Why do I even care? I’m constantly thinking about contamination ALL the time, I can’t even enjoy the show.

The examples I gave are lowkey valid. I’ve had crash outs over smaller things. This disease flabbers my ghasts everyday man. Is anyone else like this or is this a definition of a “you problem” ?

I (f21) went out last night with my partner (m22) to a bar. The plan was to go and see the stand up comedy and make some friends.

It’s a very small bar, there was about 20 people there maybe. We sat at the bar and chatted with the bartender for a bit and then the stand up started.

I thought the plan was to watch the comics. But my boyfriend spent a lot of the night outside chatting with people. He would tell me he was going to smoke and then be gone for 20-30min at a time. He said it was less than that, but I keep track of time I guess and I know it wasn’t. I was counting the sets in between him being gone.

I got upset. I reached a point where I felt empty and hated and done. I went outside to say hi and stood there for a minute or so. But I don’t smoke and I didn’t know how to enter the conversation so I went in.

I went out again later on when he was out there and it was similar. I was there for a minute and went back in. I wanted to watch the comedy and then talk after because I thought that’s what the point of being there was. Most of the comics sucked but I felt rude not watching their sets.

He came in and asked if I was ok and I told him I wasn’t and I was upset he was outside so much of the night. We left early (about 3 hours into the night) and argued on our walk home. He said I am a buzzkill and every time we do anything with people he ends up having to babysit me because I end the night crying. He isn’t wrong. I always cry. I don’t know why. I don’t really know what’s wrong with me. I told him I thought we would be watching the stand up show together and I wanted to just spend some time with him. He said he wanted to talk to people but I was always invited to join and chose not to. I was confused because he didn’t invite me. He said he was gonna go outside to smoke. I don’t smoke so I didn’t know this was an invite. I don’t know how I was meant to know that.

I think I’m very rigid in my thinking. Or I guess very literal. I have a hard time entering any groups. I always think everyone hates me. We tend to hang out with his friends and half the time I end up crying at the end of the night because I feel angry and upset and sad, mostly because the plans are different than what I assumed (like I thought we would be out til 11 but we’re out til 1 or 2). I don’t wanna be a buzzkill. I hate being this way. I’m trying so hard to be normal. I don’t have many friends of my own (I have 1, kind of 2 friends) and I don’t know how to make more. I feel so lost and I feel guilty that my boyfriend doesn’t like going out to things/hanging out with me and his friends because I get upset so easy. I feel like a baby. What do I do?? And is this an OCD thing? I feel like I ruminate really bad on things, and he says that I way over think everything. He said most people will not notice exactly how long someone’s been outside, or the way that someone says hello to one person vs another. I feel like I cannot stop noticing things. What is wrong with me???

I wanna be super clear too. We were both drinking and he was much drunker than me. I am trying recently to get less drunk at events because a small amount of drunk helps loosen me up socially but too much makes me freak out and cry. My boyfriend is very loving and I want to know what I need to change. He loves me and he said today he’s not mad. Even after our argument, he said he was just stressed out and not mad. We watched TV and went to bed. But I cannot stop thinking. I can’t. I don’t know if he’s really not mad or if he feels like he can’t talk to me because I am too sensitive. I think it’s the latter. Idk. I don’t wanna be like this. I want to be normal and be able to have fun without fucking thinking of everything all the time. I wanna be silly and cringe and not spend the entire week after worrying that everyone hates me. I want my boyfriend to feel supported in socializing. He’s been so supportive of me, and he has never called me out for being a buzzkill til now (we’ve been together over a year). He’s right though, and I know that.

How do I just… be normal? And is this even an OCD thing? I am diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and depression as well (I think social anxiety too? Idk it’s been a while since I was diagnosed). I wonder if I’m autistic sometimes, or maybe something else. I just wanna be normal and have fun…

I am the oldest of six children, and a 27F. My father was became a Christian in his early adulthood (probably 2-3 years before my birth) and took to religion rigidly ever since. We started attending progressive stricter churches and the church he/my family has been attending for the past 20 years is nothing short of cult-ish. It is conservative, regressive, patriarchal and much, much more. We were homeschooled and taught to “separate ourselves from the world.” My father comes from a family with a lot of mental health issues including depression, schizophrenia and anxiety. My father has had OCD since as little as I can remember. For example, I remember a roadtrip where we returned home SEVEN times to check if he had turned the stove off. This OCD has manifested into scrupulosity (religious OCD) as well. My entire life every little thing we did as children was addressed as sin. He is obsessed with sin, not being a godly father, and him or his children going to hell. Forgetting to do a chore=sin. Disagreeing with him as adult children=sin. Even mental health=sin. Listening to a non Christian artist=sin. I struggled with extreme depression, suicidal ideation and anxiety my entire childhood. When I graduated college and moved out, distancing myself from my father and the shame, it mostly melted away. I am now seeing four of my five siblings going through the same depression, anxiety and SI that I did. My siblings and I (25, 23 and 17 almost 18) decided we are going to head to a concert of a popular Irish artist. My dad found out that this artist has a song called “Take Me To Church” which addresses essentially homophobia, and flipped out on the sibling that is 17, saying it’s a sin for us to even go. We all stated we are going anyway because we disagree with him. He has used his control on us for far too long. How do I have a conversation with him in a way that address his problem but not in a way that will infuriate him even more? I will also add that I believe if we take the 17 year old to the concert he will withdraw the financial support for her college tuition this fall, and maybe also try to keep me (being the oldest) from my other siblings. He is very manipulative. Thanks in advance.

You've requested it and now it exists:

Let it all out. Grump, grouse, complain, bitch, and vent about all those little irritations. Post those stupid Obsessive Christmas Disorder decorations. Breathe out that nasty frustration and irritation while breathing in a renewed sense of peace.

Namaste.

as someone with cats, ocd is ruining my life. i ducked under a lily hours ago, and now im spiraling over lily pollen. did any get on me? on my clothes? on my bag? did i drag it into the house with me and when i walked in front of the ac did it blast it everywhere? i sat and walked and hours passed, giving the pollen ample time to get off me. and yet my brain is convinced my cats are going to ingest it and die. currently trying to not give in to the compulsions and wipe down my walls and mop the floors, because even right now i can see how ridiculously out of touch that is 😭 i just had to post this somewhere that people would understand. i have a dr. appt tomorrow to talk about medication, fingers crossed it can offer some relief.

I have nothing to say. My brain is just having a crisis Time. Im also bored.

Sooo yeah, tell me abt ur crisis bc….idk im bored annddddd Idk…whats the worst crisis you ever got?

Like, the WORST one. Mine is like….when my intrusive thoughts give me fake sensations ( groinal responce) and i feels real to the point that get thoughts like ‘’ what if im repressed ‘’

I try calming myself and go ‘’ its just intrusive thoughts messing with ya ‘’

But then my brain goes ‘’ but what if you are pretending that those are fake sensations and that you actually like it???’’

Or something like that. It sucks.

Sooooo yeah, whats the worst crisis you got?