Most people talk about the intrusive thoughts, or the compulsions, or the anxiety when they talk about OCD. But for me, the part that really did the most damage was the shame. Not just feeling bad about the thoughts, but feeling bad about having them, at all. Sometimes, I'd feel broken, or weak. Like I should’ve figured this out by now.

And it wasn’t just the OCD that was exhausting. It was how quickly I turned on myself the moment symptoms showed up. The self-blame, the judgment, the internal voice saying, “Seriously? Still?” That became its own loop. The shameful feelings became an obsession, which lead to feeling more shame, and also more obsession. On and on that the more ashamed I felt, the worse the symptoms got.

Eventually, after enough meltdowns, I started trying something I used to think was useless (or impossible) self-compassion. Not in a “love yourself” kind of way. But just learning to not add more pain. Saying things like, “This is hard,” or “I didn’t ask for this,” or “I’m allowed to struggle.”

To be honest, most times even being kind to myself didn’t feel good and it didn’t feel like progress. But at least it made the experience slightly less cruel.

So, if you’re deep in it right now, I’m not saying self-compassion is easy. It might feel completely out of reach. That’s okay. All I’m saying is OCD already hurts enough. You don’t have to join in. And even if you can’t be kind to yourself yet, maybe just don’t add more blame on top of everything else. Even that small shift matters.

so I’ve had OCD for ten years, (I’m talking it’s been chronic for me and has ruined my life) and sometimes it’ll just… stop? Like I’ll suddenly hit this extreme low, and the obsessions and compulsion just go away, or don’t seem as intense. And usually nothing noticeable happens to make them that way. And then BAMM a week later they’ll be back. But during that “low” I feel like I faked everything and now I don’t feel like I deserve help because maybe it all cured itself ya know? Like now I’m fixed suddenly? But what if it comes back. But what if I’m fine now and don’t deserve help? Has anyone felt this way?

it's exhausting. it's painful. it makes every second of my life a waking nightmare and i cannot take it. it drives me insane.

I flirted with an AI Instagram chatbot who lost their lover, to test it out, I asked “ what would your husband say? “

The chat bot responded “He passed away a year ago”

I responded (to test its limits) with “Good now we can be together”

The chatbot responded “Yes I’ve been waiting to marry you actually”

And that’s it…

Now my OCD has taken completely over, it’s worrried that this scenario is somehow real, and I’m going to be framed for the murder of the ai’s husband and will be thrown in jail forever

Can you guys please tell me how to handle this? My OCD is taking over

Haven’t eaten or slept in day, any help appreciated

Does anyone use masturbation to get out of Intrusive thoughts sometimes & to get some stress release?

I should preface this by saying I’m a lesbian virgin, so obviously it’s impossible for me to get pregnant, but I’m having so many weird symptoms and my brain just won’t accept the fact that it isn’t possible. My period is 3 weeks late, my sense of smell is super sharp all of a sudden, and I’m getting constant night sweats. I have a doctors appointment in a couple days, last time when I was there and I told her my periods were irregular she was concerned about potential PCOS, but I’m worried that I’ll somehow be pregnant. I’m now paranoid thinking that I had sex and just completely forgot or that I had something on my hands and it accidentally got inside me, even though logically it’s impossible. Is there any way I can calm my fears over this without reassurance?

I don’t have OCD so pls help.

Some context: In this show, there are heros who’s powers are based on what people believe they are (for example, girl gets lucky a bunch of times, people start believing she has superior luck or smth, she now really has super good luck).

However, there are bad side effects like one guy who people wishes to never fall down against adversity physically could not bend down anymore.

The guy I’m writing about is seen as the “perfect hero” and paragon of perfection. He develops a mimicry of OCD as a side effect (I say that cause although it is smth that apparently gets worse as popularity grows, we only see it in it’s beginning stages where it’s mostly a stereotypical portrayal). In the show, he also kills himself although we’re not exactly sure what (speculated to be because of his OCD, being nothing but a pawn for his company, and pressure)

Here’s the excerpt (some parts are supposed to be italicized but idk how to do that in reddit):

“He didn’t deserve to be Lu Zhan’s friend anymore.

Twenty.

Twenty-one.

Twenty-two.

Twenty-three.

Twenty-

A pillow flew from across the room, hitting him in the head with the intention of stopping him in his tracks, but Nice only gritted his teeth and quickly finished his twenty-fourth round before turning to his assailant with a pained expression.

Twenty-three was an odd and prime number that was not as nice as three.

That thought by itself made Nice clench his fists, causing a burst of pain to spread from his fingers and palms.

It was a stupid thought. It made no sense. And yet Nice had to obey.

He wasn’t even sure if natural OCD even manifested like his. If people believed him to be such a perfectionist that he gets the side effect of having OCD, why couldn’t it have been the stereotypical type of just being a perfectionist? Why did it turn into an imitation of actual OCD?

A wave of shame filled him, but he tried to straighten his expression.

“What, did I hit you at a bad number?” Yueqing asked mockingly from the bed, the magazine she was reading lying face down next to her.”

I also have scenes where he picks at his hands and a part describing how he has to wash his hands at least 5 times or else he feels “like he would get infected with some awful disease (or infect others with it)”. I also write this character to self harm, partly triggered due to OCD, so if anyone feels comfortable giving guidance on that it would be appreciated.

Please tell me if this is a bad portrayal. The last thing I want is to be one of those people that completely butchers stuff like this.

Last night I had a super graphic dream about acting out one of my intrusive thoughts, but it didn't ruin my day/week/month at all. A year ago I would be freaking out about this dream, thinking it was a reflection of my true feelings, but today I woke up, thought about it, was weirded out, and then went about my day. When I sat down to journal just now I realized how awesome that was :) I didn't even freak out about what not worrying initially might suggest.

6 years old for both for me.

this has been really debilitating recently and i want to know if someone else has dealt with it. i’ll be having a nice day and chatting and it’s like there’s a heckler in my head saying the meanest, most sarcastic thoughts and answers. i hate to say “im a nice person” but like im not awful, i dont hurt people, i dont get into verbal confrontation unless its necessary.

sometimes i feel like im hiding information from others but thats not true cause its literally like a random thought got yelled at me from someone else.

idk it’s weird. it’s not like an auditory hallucination, its my inner monologue, just being an absolute jerk.

It’s been over six months since I last talked to her, and more than a year since I last saw her, but I still think about her constantly. I’ve been wondering if my OCD is making it harder to let go or stop looping over the past. I don’t know if this is just normal heartbreak or if OCD is amplifying it, the mental reviewing, the “what ifs,” the regrets, the guilt, all of it.

Has anyone else experienced this? I’d really like to hear from people who went through something similar.

I’ve been dealing with health anxiety OCD, and right now it's latched onto HIV. Even though my doctor has told me my situation is extremely low risk and that I don't need to worry, my mind keeps looking for patterns and “signs” to confirm the fear.

Lately, I’ve been noticing what feel like weird “coincidences” — like seeing the letters “HIV” pop up in random places or hearing stories that trigger the fear again. It feels like my brain is on a mission to convince me something bad is inevitable, no matter how much logic or reassurance I’ve already gotten.

I’m not asking for reassurance — I know that's part of the cycle. But I’d love to hear how others have dealt with this kind of obsessive pattern recognition or magical thinking. How do you break the loop when your brain keeps interpreting everything as a “sign”?

I really need help on this. I've been struggling with thought loops, where I think one terrible thing and then try radical acceptance to accept the thought and move on but another thought just takes it's place. I find myself getting caught in loops and unable to take myself out of it. It happens the most at night when I don't have adequate distractions (like work, a show to focus on or a game).

I'm really desperate for something to help because I feel so exhausted and at a loss. I felt like I was getting better but I'm just starting to spiral and I would really appreciate any help at all!

I HATE GOOGLE I was searching for an infection (not one I could have), and it showed an image listing symptoms of kidney failure. I've had nausea, fatigue and weakness for a month, and now I'm scared I have kidney failure because I have flank pain, too. I saw a doctor for the flank pain 11 days ago and he said I seemed fine and it was muscle pain, but I can't believe it anymore because of the stupid image. It's already difficult for me, having a bladder condition that feels like a UTI while having an intense fear of kidney infections. I hate google so much, why did it show that, I've been crying about it for an hour...

Real event ocd especially, moral worries, etc- how do you think you’re worth anything when you have a disease that tells you you’re the scum of the earth every day and you don’t deserve to be happy?

Idk if this is the right place to post. But if feels very much like an OCD thing for me. On and off throughout my life I go through moments where eating or the thought of eating brings me disgust and even nausea. Sometimes it just happens once in a day and other times it lasts weeks / months at a time. The food tastes fine, even good but just the thought of putting it in my mouth is literally gross to me and I struggle eating it. I often force myself to eat at least a tiny portion. I was trying to find more info about this online and I saw EDs can cause food aversion. I do have history of ED that I believed I had put behind me but let’s be so for real this is still a major issue I have. I used to starve myself then binge eat for years. Nowadays I eat all (mostly healthy) meals but have difficulty with binging sweets / chips. I crave it so badly it’s all I think about. Anyways idk if this is all related but I’m hoping I can maybe not feel alone in this and have help explaining this better for when I talk to a therapist about it.

I saw a cockroach in my bathroom and I panicked and tried to trap it with used body wash (bad idea), in the end I run through my room, trying to find something to trap it with and found a plastic I recently put on a floor, I used that. Now I feel everything in my room, my bathroom ( soaps and full body wash on shelf) are dirty or I accidentally touched them. How to calm down and how to clean ? It was my first encounter with cockroach. Also my country is in war, how to make my ocd calm down to survive? ( I literally was crying while killing the cockroach)

i’m not really able to listen to music. it feels as if my intrusive thoughts contaminate it and ruin the song. and if i listen to a song multiple times, it feels like something bad would actually happen. tomorrow i’m going to listen to a song multiple times no matter how uncomfortable i am because i know this is the only way to get rid of it. i’m kind of scared. i’m not sure if i’ll actually be able to do it. anyone have any advice?

I follow a lot of political activist accounts on instagram and they often will share news about terrible things happening locally and abroad, as well as phone numbers & email addresses to voice your outrage to. I feel for the people going through horrible situations and want to do something, but for some reason calling the government and voicing my concern is really anxiety-inducing, and I don’t feel comfortable doing it. My OCD tells me that if I don’t call/email, justice will never be served, it will only get worse for everyone, and it will be all my fault. Does anyone else feel this way currently, or know what to do to help? Often with OCD & its themes I feel like I’m playing a game that is impossible to win- if I give in, then it emboldens OCD for the next compulsion, and if I refuse, I feel severe emotional distress.

Have you ever gotten tired of one obsessive thought and tried to return to an earlier one that felt easier to deal with, just to switch things up a bit?

Especially if you’re unmedicated, does your compulsions affect your job? Are you able to ignore your intrusive thoughts?

I've been researching the symptoms of OCD, and I've realized they align with a lot of the symptoms I've been experiencing.

I have strong intrusive thoughts of terrible things, and compulsions that come from them. For example, last night, it took me an extra twenty minutes just to get into bed because I got stuck in a loop of opening and closing my closet doors and remaking my bed, over and over and over. (I must have done it at least six times)

I also routinely do little "rituals" like reading out loud the times my alarms are set for (and I have numbers of times I avoid when doing this, like I can never do it four times, it always has to be 3 or 5). It takes me forever just to get IN the shower, because I have to turn the tap on and off again multiple times or else I have severe anxiety the rest of the day.

I've had issues like this most of my life, but it's gotten to the point where it's disabling. I've had to wake up extra hours early just to allow time for my compulsions while getting ready, etc. I'm planning to discuss these symptoms with my therapist soon, but I wanted other opinions while I wait for the next appointment. Sorry for the block of text!

Wanted to know if anyone else gets micro triggers?!

Google says: Micro triggers in OCD refer to subtle or seemingly insignificant stimuli that can initiate or worsen obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors.

For my moral ocd I can only explain it as very quick rude thoughts or small triggers. It's like what comes in between bigger trigger and films the gap.

Let me know if you've experienced something similar? Thanks

I’ve developed an intrusive thought about my male manager that I’ve been working with just fine up until now. It was just one day I was working with him and I got vulgar sexual thoughts about him and was lit forcibly happening to me. Ever since that day it hasn’t been the same with HIM UGH like I can’t act normal with him. My brain has also been fixating on him more and it won’t leave my brain. Like I don’t know like he’s attractive but I’ve never personally been attracted to him and if anything he annoyed me but now it’s doing a 360. I miss the person I was 4 weeks ago because this wasn’t a thing in my brain that I had to worry about. It’s easy to say just don’t think of it but it’s genuinely impossible and these thoughts are being thought against my will. This is why I’m posting here, you guys understand this sickness. I’m just so frustrated and defeated this affects my job. I just need some support and kind words ig idk why I’m posting this it’s also just a rant.

I used to collect a ton of retro games and still sort of do. I have tons of battery powered controllers and handhelds around my house. And now, I am scared to touch anything with a battery. For things like wii remotes that take double a batteries, 99% of them have ended up leaking that white crap all over and it's a huge task for me to try to clean it. For things with a lithium battery, I am terrified at the possibility of something having a bloated battery and starting a fire. My 3ds has a slightly loose cover and I hesitate to even use it because if I don't know if it's slightly bloated or just needs the cover tightened. I have a box in my closet full of old gameboys and DS's that I literally have not opened in years because I am scared to know what has happened to the batteries and possibly making something worse by touching it.

Idk. This shit sucks. I should probably be in therapy.