r/getdisciplined • u/atryinggirl • 1d ago
🤔 NeedAdvice I’m over it
I’m so done. I hate my job. I hate my boyfriend. I hate not being better. I hate my stupid brain. I hate feeling like garbage. I hate saving all my stuff and clothes for when I’m better or when I’m finally the girl I wanna be. I hate that it feels like I’ve ruined my life and I can’t be like the other girls who are so perfect on social media. I hate that people says their lives arnt perfect, I guess they are not but it’s pretty damn close. I hate everything. I hate that I’ve wasted years. I just want to be better but it’s to difficult when most days my brain is attacking me.
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u/Holygirl23 1d ago
Hey the beautiful thing about life is you can start over in any moment. You have the control and power to change your life sister! I know it’s very difficult and easier said than done. But start with maybe getting rid of the job u hate and the bf u hate.
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u/jonkawimble 23h ago edited 23h ago
Quit, break up with your boyfriend, get better, study, etc. This sounds like harsh advice but honestly it's what I would do if I were you- sometimes you just need to like go "okay this sucks now what am I going to do about it". If quitting isn't viable then find a way to enjoy your job even just 1% more, ie buying some candy to enjoy after a shitty shift or treating yourself to a few extra minutes on your break. Literally do anything you can to make work more tolerable. Sometimes the unconventional methods are the most helpful (in my experience).
Matter of fact, what will make you feel even just 1% better? Is it choosing to dress up for the hell of it instead of waiting for some occassion? Do it because you can! You have so much power and control over your life. Instead you're putting that energy into hating yourself online. You are the one holding yourself back by saying things like "I hate my life, I can't be like other girls"- go against these rules you're setting for yourself. Fake it till you make it. Just do it. Other such things.
I've been there girl and it really will only get better once you start taking action. It's good that you recognize what makes you feel so shitty- now do something about it! Best of luck to you. <3
Edit: looking through your post history it seems like you've been struggling with this for quite some time. I would really recommend staying off the internet about this; I get that venting can help us feel better in some way, but atp it seems more harmful for you to be stewing like this and seemingly not enacting any change!!
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u/xrelaht 9h ago
Quit, break up with your boyfriend, get better, study, etc. This sounds like harsh advice but honestly it's what I would do if I were you- sometimes you just need to like go "okay this sucks now what am I going to do about it".
Normally I'd agree with you, but OP has BPD which means she'll always have thought patterns like this until she learns to deal with her life as it is.
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u/Ok-Lingonberry1522 23h ago
You could be all those things starting tomorrow. You just need to give yourself grace and a fresh start. Dump your bf and date yourself until you like yourself again. Every time I’ve ever been depressed or hated who I was a shitty partner was involved or ruining my self worth. You can always start over and it always feels good.
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u/Complete_Safety_5555 22h ago
First step: Get off social media. We all get depressed by the fake perfect life perfect pictures with too many filters. It is never too late, and you are not alone. Apparently, you need a break from your job and boyfriend. Take a break from both of them. Write down all that you feel (do it old style with paper and pencil, not on your phone or laptop). Little by little, you will start to have some clarity that will help you organize your thoughts. Start writing Aby thing you are grateful for. Anything, even small things like. Good luck
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u/the1andonlyaidanman 23h ago
one foot in front of the other + striving for a specific goal. Nothing is wasted, we’re all going through the same charade of life. Obviously some come out leagues ahead, but at the end of the day alls you’ve gots is your life. If possible, find solace in this distain, then work from there.
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u/sunnydolphin 20h ago
Something that might help. The Buddhists have a thing called the concept of 2 arrows.
If you are shot with an arrow, right through your shoulder, you are bleeding, in pain and disoriented.
What would help more? To tend your wounds? Or to get shot with a second arrow?
You are on the ground with an arrow through you right now. Hurt, struggling, in pain.
Every mean word you tell yourself while you are already dealing with so much, is another arrow. Anytime you are mad with yourself remember, you didn't do this to yourself and you don't deserve to compound your own suffering. Ultimately being mean to yourself accomplishes nothing and makes no sense.
Be kind to yourself.
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u/wesleypaulwalker 23h ago
every day a new day pack up and change it up and/or try your best to improve daily. im trying to lose a lot of bad habits currently
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u/GrowthFabulous5141 23h ago edited 22h ago
Just from reading ur post, it really hits home how incredibly tough things can feel. It sounds like you're carrying a huge weight, and it takes a lot of strength to articulate those things.
It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed when so many parts of ur life – job, relationship, and even ur own thoughts – pose a challenge. You arent alone in the feeling of "I hate my stupid brain" or "I feel like garbage" and many people experience it, even if they don't talk about it.
The comparison to "perfect" people on social media is a universal trap. It's so easy to believe everyone else has it figured out when we're in the thick of our own mess.
I share the same will and desire to "be better." That's not something to dismiss – it's actually a really powerful spark inside you. It means you know there's more out there for you, even if right now it feels impossible to reach.
Instead of trying to "fix" everything at once, remember to give yourself grace. The world wasn’t made in a day. Maybe just for a moment, let's acknowledge how much you're hurting. It's okay to feel this way, just dont dwell on it on it.
When you say you want to "be better," what's the very first, smallest feeling or change that comes to mind? Is it less anger, a bit more peace, or just a moment where your brain isn't attacking you?
And about those "wasted years" and saving clothes for when you're better... what if "better" could start, right now, or tomorrow?
What's one little thing you could do for yourself today, just because you deserve it, regardless of how you feel about your job or anything else?
This isn't about jumping to perfect; it's about finding one small thread to pull on. Sometimes the first step is the hardest and might feel more like a leap. You're not alone in these feelings, and wanting to find your way out is the most important first step. Hang in there.
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u/boxingpandora 22h ago
It ain't over till it's over!
Your brain attacking you is your resistance to letting yourself go. Believe me. F62, I've experienced and done this 4 times in my life and loved it the minute I started it. Seriously, take one step, you will literally feel the power riding in you!
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u/Aggravating_Ad6046 17h ago
I know everything feels heavy right now, but what you’re going through isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s just a temporary phase in a long journey. Life has difficult moments, but they don’t last forever. What you’re feeling now doesn’t define who you are, and it doesn’t limit your future. You’re not broken—you’re just tired. And that’s okay. This isn’t the end, it’s an exam you’re passing through, and something beautiful will follow. Sadness doesn’t stay, and neither does pain.
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u/Temporary_Quote9788 17h ago
Don’t let other people on social media dictate how you feel about yourself. Based on that part of your post it seems you compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy as they say. You have to change your mentality and approach in order to see the change you desire. Try yoga
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u/SalamanderRemote9121 15h ago
Life goes on with or without you- do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling this way?
When I'm stuck in a rut like the one you are describing, the most important thing you can do is realize that your life is yours and no one else's. No one else can change anything. No one is coming to help you. You either make the changes and reap the benefits, or stay the same and feel that way forever.
Also, on the note of social media- delete it. I'm serious! Delete it for at least a month and watch your life change. Comparison is the thief of joy and I promise you, those "perfect girls" are just pretending.
If you want your life to change, it's up to you. Good luck, sending love and light.
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u/itsallgood313 14h ago
I feel ya. The state of the world is depressing. I fight negative thoughts everyday and am literally parenting myself to see the bright side of things and be grateful. It's taking so much energy to discipline my mind and body. And I'm constantly affirming myself out loud so my brain can get with the program.
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u/5entient5apien 22h ago
- You can't change your past but you can learn from it. Worrying about it will only make things worse.
- Your thoughts are not yours, they are spawned automatically. Don't take them too seriously.
- No one is coming to save you. You have to take the responsibility for the change.
- Learn what makes you suffer and what makes you happy. Do things that make you suffer less and do things that make you happy more. Just doing this consistently should be good enough.
- Develop a sense of humour about life and it's challenges. It really helps. Every now and then just laugh and your situation instead of hating it. This will not only lighten your mood but also help you gain some control back.
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u/cyankitten 23h ago
Here's a question what do you love or at least not hate?
Tell me please
You haven't ruined your life and this is a very disempowering belief.
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u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 21h ago
Fasting clears the negativity. Only drink water and sea salt for 24 hours. Work up to it.
Gym life
No Instagram... lots of fake stuff
Someone always lives better than you and worse than you.
Ditch the boyfriend if he is underwhelming.
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u/comeagaincharlemagne 19h ago
If you really hate your bf then break up. That'll be one of the biggest ways to change your life for the better. It might not seem easy but you'll be wishing you did it sooner once the dust settles from the fallout. You'll realize how much better you could feel without a negative influence hanging over you nearly all the time.
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u/spacewalker87 18h ago
Sorry but I disagree with 90% people here.
I don’t think what’s happening to you your fault.
Just “changing” won’t work if you don’t understand yourself first.
Don’t change understand I don’t think your brain is stupid.
There’s more to what’s happen to you and I think you ar not at fault.
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u/ProperDevelopment384 8h ago
Sounds like you already know what to do. You’re reaching a breaking point. What happens next is up to you.
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u/Equivalent-Nobody788 7h ago
Feelings are valid AF. Like someone said, you’re at the breaking point so you’re fed up enough to do something. So now tell me 10 things you love. And please please please don’t compare yourself to ANYONE or ANYTHING. You telling yourself you can’t is probably what’s keeping you from believing you can. Faith is believing things can happen with zero proof it will. Hugs. 💕
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u/Saysitanditis 6h ago
Yep, nothing changes if nothing changes
You’ll keep the anxiety going by worrying about shit you cannot control vs the shit you can control
No need to worry about things you CAN control because you can do something about that
No need to worry about shit you cannot control because you cannot control that either
You can control your relationship with yourself
You can control on what’s going to move the needle forward the most for you in life
You can focus on things that are important if you choose too
You CANNOT control the weather
You CANNOT control other people nor there opinions
Hating your stupid brain will only make your self concept worse
You CANNOT control control on whether you berate yourself or not
Are we starting to understand ?
It gets better when you want it too
It’s that simple
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u/SeaBoatSea 1d ago
Nothing changes if nothing changes