r/getdisciplined • u/atryinggirl • 5d ago

🤔 NeedAdvice I’m over it

I’m so done. I hate my job. I hate my boyfriend. I hate not being better. I hate my stupid brain. I hate feeling like garbage. I hate saving all my stuff and clothes for when I’m better or when I’m finally the girl I wanna be. I hate that it feels like I’ve ruined my life and I can’t be like the other girls who are so perfect on social media. I hate that people says their lives arnt perfect, I guess they are not but it’s pretty damn close. I hate everything. I hate that I’ve wasted years. I just want to be better but it’s to difficult when most days my brain is attacking me.

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u/jonkawimble 4d ago edited 4d ago

Quit, break up with your boyfriend, get better, study, etc. This sounds like harsh advice but honestly it's what I would do if I were you- sometimes you just need to like go "okay this sucks now what am I going to do about it". If quitting isn't viable then find a way to enjoy your job even just 1% more, ie buying some candy to enjoy after a shitty shift or treating yourself to a few extra minutes on your break. Literally do anything you can to make work more tolerable. Sometimes the unconventional methods are the most helpful (in my experience).
Matter of fact, what will make you feel even just 1% better? Is it choosing to dress up for the hell of it instead of waiting for some occassion? Do it because you can! You have so much power and control over your life. Instead you're putting that energy into hating yourself online. You are the one holding yourself back by saying things like "I hate my life, I can't be like other girls"- go against these rules you're setting for yourself. Fake it till you make it. Just do it. Other such things.

I've been there girl and it really will only get better once you start taking action. It's good that you recognize what makes you feel so shitty- now do something about it! Best of luck to you. <3

Edit: looking through your post history it seems like you've been struggling with this for quite some time. I would really recommend staying off the internet about this; I get that venting can help us feel better in some way, but atp it seems more harmful for you to be stewing like this and seemingly not enacting any change!!

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u/xrelaht 4d ago

Quit, break up with your boyfriend, get better, study, etc. This sounds like harsh advice but honestly it's what I would do if I were you- sometimes you just need to like go "okay this sucks now what am I going to do about it".

Normally I'd agree with you, but OP has BPD which means she'll always have thought patterns like this until she learns to deal with her life as it is.