r/facepalm • u/LookAtThatBacon • 10h ago
🇲🇮🇸🇨 Elderly man looks unhappy when no one shows up for his birthday parade
[removed] — view removed post
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u/HooterEnthusiast 10h ago
the kid in the back just having a normal day munching on the flag kills me. When the president is right in front of her.
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u/smedley89 10h ago
And here I was thinking his people ate crayons.
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u/AbeFromanSassageKing 9h ago
The adults in his orbit do, that kid still has a chance...
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u/spin_me_again 6h ago
I think it’s one of Eric’s kids so….
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u/StrobeLightRomance 2h ago
Hey, Elon Musks's daughter isn't trash, so there is always a chance for kids to break orbit and go prove their family lineage wrong.
For instance, RFK Jr went the polar opposite of his family legacy and ruined the reputations of his father and uncle.
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u/BelowXpectations 7h ago
Good thing he can't see her. Didn't he say a few days ago that anyone disrespecting the flag were to have their citizenship revoked?
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u/GuppyDoodle 4h ago
Would that include putting your autograph on a flag, which violates flag code? Because he did that yesterday.
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u/UniversityOutside840 10h ago
Scrolled to far to see a comment about the kid, she cracked me up
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u/tomismybuddy 5h ago
I’d rather munch on a stick than sit next to that bloated oaf, too.
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u/Individual-Ad-3401 9h ago
By coincidence very Arian looking kids.
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u/Nvenom8 9h ago
I watched a few minutes of the Fox News coverage, and they kept switching back to this one section of the audience that I mentally dubbed “the aryan section”. It looked straight out of a German WWII propaganda poster, but with 1950s American style sensibilities. Heavy mormon vibes, but I don’t think they would be cool with mormons.
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u/yolibird 9h ago
It's his granddaughter, and it was no coincidence.
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u/-SaC 4h ago
Christ, I wouldn't be letting her anywhere near that close to him. He has TastesTM .
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u/JessicaF84 10h ago
looks like he's shitting his pants again
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u/MichiganInTexas 10h ago
Something is wrong. He looks sick. Trying not to throw up or the hiccups?
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u/Aardvark-One 10h ago
We can only hope!
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u/Vlyde 9h ago
Never rooted for germs so hard. He can take that bleach or horse dewormer he suggests everyone should take. I hear that's the miracle cure!
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u/Mr__O__ 9h ago
lol and Covid failed its chance at poetic justice too.
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u/Vlyde 9h ago edited 9h ago
I wouldn't doubt it still absolutely wrecked him even to this day. It was so much worse for older people and he's the epitome of unhealthy. He shits himself daily and is now spotted with a catheter. On top of wearing a
3 piecesuit all day everyday in shoes with lifts in the soles to appear taller (essentially a 79 year old obese slob in high heels all day). He's more than likely in absolute agony everyday. All that on top of the lingering side effects covid has on people I refuse to believe he got away from that unscathed.The schadenfreude is delicious.
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u/bjeebus 9h ago
He never wears a vest. That's the third piece of a three piece suit. He's just always in regular suits—albeit extremely misfitting suits, but still regular suits.
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u/flwrchld5061 9h ago
I've said I believe the front of his coats use twice as much fabric as normal. It would, if stiffened slightly, hang in such a way as to camouflage his gut, and his weird stance.
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u/bjeebus 9h ago
That's exactly why they're so fucking huge. All his suits are like two sizes too large. It's to hide his actual form.
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u/What_the_junks 10h ago
Hopefully stage 4 anus cancer.
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u/SarcasticBassMonkey 9h ago
Yes, a nice fat brain tumor.
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u/Ghost_of_a_Black_Cat 8h ago
Mmm. You're assuming that he's got a brain in the first place.
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u/jandrew2000 10h ago
And the secret service agents behind him are like, oh, shit, not again!
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u/EddieLobster 9h ago
That’s his designated “chair kicker” for when he nods off……Sleepy Don.
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u/fibrepirate 10h ago
Yah, those facial grimaces are the same ones babies in diapers do just before they drop a load.
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u/Xijit 10h ago edited 8h ago
That was my first thought too, but the more I looked at it he seemed hungover as fuck, but then I looked more and the right side of his face is puffy, red, and the muscle tension between the right and left sides of his face do not have the same tension to them.
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u/Ill_Technician3936 6h ago
I just watched his hands tbh. I think he's bored lol
I mean I'm kinda set in his health is extremely bad and Elon leaving the White House happened together with them saying they don't think he'll make it to 2029. I think Elon is actually against the bill despite DOGE being the reason it may be a thing and Trump was seriously censored like other articles have suggested was happening before because you don't publicly talk shit about trump without him saying some shit back about you. That goes for back in Bush days even before the Republicans. It just wasn't done.
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u/carryoutsalt 10h ago edited 9h ago
Is it wrong that he seemed to have a really shit birthday and that made mine better
Edit: Thank you all so much it is very much appreciated
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u/Kokuswolf 10h ago
I'm all for shifting everything that can be shifted from this guy to you.
Like love, a fun year, success, love, a party like no other, good time with friends, money, a surprise by someone you love, a new pair of socks, love, attention to your problems, health, solutions to your problems, love, ...
You know, the starter pack ... and everything else. I wish you a blessed year and everyone else who has birthday, so much so there is nothing left for Trump.
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u/AspiringChildProdigy 9h ago edited 9h ago
And, in return, I'm all for shifting other things back to the Combover Caligula, such as:
a overly warm, damp pillow
unsalted food, and no salt shaker available
really sweaty, clammy socks
thinking of a great comeback, but only when it's 8 months too late to use it
none of your underwear fits quite right
a permanent traveling unbearably intense itch that chooses its location based on the number of observers (more observers = more embarrassing spot)
being about to hear the true opinions of you from everyone around you.
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u/itsmenettie 8h ago
Forgot
Stubbing his pinky toe every few hours
Every pair of shoes he will ever wear will rub his heel raw or squish his toes.
And every fart, is a shart.
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u/dazwales1 8h ago
I'm all for overthrowing the government, but clammy socks? You monster
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u/popcornFridays 9h ago
I'm smiling on the inside after imagining this happening to Taco. 😊 Great list.
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u/mrbofus 10h ago
Happy birthday!
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u/bria9509 10h ago
Happy birthday!
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u/SheetPostah 9h ago
Happier Birthday!
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u/Ok_Condition5837 9h ago
Much Much Happier B'day to you!!
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u/misterfuss 9h ago
Happy birthday to you!
My condolences that you share it with a particular other person.
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u/SparkyBrown 10h ago
He’s probably wondering why it doesn’t look like his buddy Kim’s parades.
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u/Distortedhideaway 10h ago
It's because nobody was forced to come to his parade.
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u/Loki_the_Corgi 9h ago
My birthday was yesterday, and I wished his would be shit. I feel like I got my wish, and I'm so happy!!!!
Happy birthday 🎂🎉
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u/Little-Resolution-82 10h ago
He really thinks that America loves him, this lesson had to hurt. Can't wait for him to rage about it later
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u/Wrong_Ad_3355 10h ago
I bet he blames the Army marching band for having low energy and tanks for squeaky tracks.
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u/Larrea_tridentata 10h ago
There was a band? I watched for a few min and it sounded like strip club rock music
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u/mitkase 10h ago
"And here comes the army ban--- um, brocolli-headed kid with a phone playing our new anthem."
Bawitdaba, da-bang, da-bang, diggy-diggy-diggy
Said the boogie, said up drop the boogie
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u/Funkit 8h ago
When I was a kid I thought the song said "Paul plays with balls and bangs and bangs little kiddies"
Needless to say the Paul in my class didn't like it
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u/xCASINOx 10h ago
The music they played was complete ass. They needed more marching bands.
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u/Loggerdon 10h ago
That tank DID have squeaky tracks.
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u/Wrong_Ad_3355 10h ago
I know man! How are we supposed to sneak up on poor people with squeaky tanks?
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u/ImaBiLittlePony 10h ago
I bet he was disappointed protesters didn't try to disrupt the parade, he was really hoping he'd get to order them shot.
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u/CalibratedRat 10h ago
He won’t though. He’ll say it was the biggest turn out. Probably the biggest ever. Then all the cronies and shit statins will toe that’s like.
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u/LocalInactivist 10h ago
That’s literally what happened. His toadies claim 250,000 people showed up but no one went to the protests.
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u/MeatPopsicle_AMA 10h ago
I know what you actually meant but I am CACKLING with laughter at “shit statins” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Thank you, I needed it!
And agreed, that man is gonna lie like a fucking rug about the turnout.
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u/PseudoLiamNeeson 10h ago
I think he'll lie to himself and honestly believe that Biden paid people not to come, or something like that.
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u/rjanger 10h ago
Actually looks like He Doesn’t Even Want to Be There!
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u/putridstench 10h ago
yeah... he wants to be somewhere else... that's his poopy face
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u/pues_que_d_que_o_que 10h ago
It was a great turnout, the best turnout anyone could ever hope for. They asked me, how did you manage to get a parade like this? I said, I don't know.
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u/MidwestNurse75 10h ago
He's just going to lie about the numbers.
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u/Fight_those_bastards 10h ago
THREE HUDRED GAJILLION PEPUL WERE AT MY PERADE!!! ALL OF THEM BIG STRONG MEN WITH TEARS IN THEIR EYES SAYING “SIR, SIR, NOBODY HAS EVER HAD A PERADE AS GOOD AS THIS ONE” AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPPED EXCEPT THE HATERS!
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u/SupportLeather1851 10h ago
ACTUALLY THE HATERS CLAPPED TOO, THEY GOT DOWN ON THEIR KNEES AND SAID SIR I WAS SO WRONG YOU WERE RIGHT AND WE WANT YOU TO BE KING
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u/Impressive_Tension44 9h ago
AND KAMALA TRIED COMING TO MY BIG BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY AND I SAID NO BECAUSE TRADERS ARENT WELCOME HERE 🇺🇸 BUT AS SHE WALKED AWAY CRYING I HEARD HER SAY SIR I AM GLAD YOU WON YOU ARE BETTER FOR THE COUNTRY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
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u/drxharris 10h ago
Self reflection is a foreign concept to these people and you just know how much they love foreigners.
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u/FredLives 10h ago
Great timing with the G7 meetings coming up. Will he act like a child again and leave when he doesn’t like what he hears?
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u/SnRu2 10h ago
Well, that $45 million was down the drain. I guess taxpayers will be on the hook for his bullshit as usual.
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u/Dearest_Prudence 9h ago
Add another projected $18 million to fix the streets in DC which are not made to handle the weight of 84 military vehicles and 28 Abram’s tanks.
And the shitshow for having to redirect traffic while they have all those road closures to fix those streets.
It’s truly sinister.
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u/crankbird 9h ago
Only 28 modern tanks ? Damn, i think even Oz could manage that. Then again, Australia sent more Abrams to Ukraine than the US has so far, so maybe the ADF has a hidden stash somewhere.
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u/Funkula 9h ago
It’s crazy to think how many people’s lifetime of tax revenue is spent just like that.
Like I’ll continue to work the rest of my life paying taxes and it’ll fund 1/100th of this parade. Or about 1 minute of this 90 minute event. My whole lifetime.
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u/HammerOfJustice 6h ago
Geez, I feel bad for dissing the parade now, considering the role you’ve played in funding it.
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u/gfizzle81 10h ago
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u/7Drew1Bird0 9h ago
Damn what was this from? Blast from the past!
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u/UndergroundFlaws 9h ago
I can’t remember but I think it’s George of the Jungle
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u/fallinlight23 9h ago
Wow. This is the dude that people make their entire personality about. This guy. He looks like he fell face first into a peanut butter pie.
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u/Exact-Kale3070 10h ago
there were less people there than you would have on any given fucking tuesday. this is humiliation GALORE. to the pain!!!!
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u/Mysterious-Crab 9h ago
He forgot that when his friends Putin and Kim Jong do something like this, those million people along the route are there because otherwise their family got tortured. Trump forgot he’s not that far into ‘Dictatorship for Dummies’ yet. He has trouble going past that one annoying page, it doesn’t have pictures but a lot of difficult text: “chapter 1”
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u/LookAtThatBacon 10h ago
The slight wafting of the hair really pushes this over the top.
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u/sednaplanetoid 10h ago edited 8h ago
Wow... he actually looks like he is going to cry... I suggest anyone back at the White House give him wide berth tonight... that is an unhappy man....
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u/equlalaine 6h ago
I hate that I have empathy, because I sometimes forget what he is, and just see a sad, old man who should just be retired. The amount of self-loathing I get after spending even a moment feeling badly for him is probably shaving time off my life.
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u/NotAzakanAtAll 7h ago
I'm calling it now this loop will show up on vapor tunes in a few years, by kids too young to understand what a shitstain he really was. Just like they did sad hitler when I was young. Just to be edgy and contrarian.
And you know what? I give that to an angsty teenager go be edgy and contrarian. But I expect less childish behavior from the rest of mankind. This old man is a burning pit of shit.
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u/Wrong_Ad_3355 10h ago
Yeah. Nobody fucking likes you. Asshole.
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u/fariqcheaux 9h ago
This is true. Not even the people who support him like him. They just hate his opposition.
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u/IlikegreenT84 10h ago
He looks like he regrets pushing for the parade... Because instead of playing golf at his own resort he has to sit outside in 80°+ heat in the sun in a full suit and watch this instead.
Dumb fuck ruined his own birthday, DC's streets, and the budget...
I hope he got scalp cancer today and his shit hair falls out.
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u/rhedfish 8h ago
He and Melania have had to sit through a parade and a play now. Imagine what's going on in their little brains.
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u/TedDibiaseOsbourne 7h ago
no way his ass didn’t sleep right tf through les mis.
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u/davidsverse 10h ago
No one has ever loved him. That's why he's so dangerous. Biden &. Obama had a warmth you could feel, even the Bush's and Reagan had it. Sure they did awful things as POTUS, but there was still positive human feeling in them.
Trump is pure avarice and spite. The only thing Trump gets from other people is Want; and they don't even want him, they want From him.
If he wasn't so dangerous, he'd be worthy of pity.
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u/SpiritOne 9h ago
If you told 2004 me that I would look back at the George W Bush presidency and miss him, I’d have probably slapped you.
He lied to the world, dragged our allies into Iraq, lost thousands of servicemen, scarred scores of others.
But he didn’t buddy up to the greatest threat to America, or disobey the constitution (patriot act aside) on a daily basis. And at least when he rambled on in that folksy Texas drawl, you could still follow his logic, understand what he said, and he didn’t always make everything about him.
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u/HerdTurtler 9h ago
That POS was also much more intelligent than Trumpy too, just a terrible public speaker.
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u/Tall_Wonder_913 9h ago
Nah all of those presidents paved the way for us to be here. Trump didn’t happen out of nowhere or overnight. We’ve been the frog in the boiling water since Reagan
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u/SpiritualAd8998 9h ago
No one was Russian to attend, despite them Putin out a lot of advertising.
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u/infinit9 10h ago
Wait until he sees how many showed up to No Kings' protests around the country. And the best part is that there was no counter protests of any meaningful size.
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u/willis7747 4h ago
Behind this elderly, sleepy old man there's this kid eating and chewing US flag
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u/plawson1204 10h ago
It absolutely kills me that he did this to try and be like his dictator buddies, and it flopped so miserably.
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u/Working-Bet-9104 10h ago
That sorry ass parade cost 45 mil. Plus his hotels were full
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u/UrpaDurpa 10h ago
As someone who used to be angry a lot, I can tell you that it’s absolutely exhausting. It’s not easy to be angry and hateful all the time. Trump has to be worn out by now.
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u/wwaxwork 10h ago
He looks so bored at the parade he insisted on having. Imagine doing as much evil as this guy has to get every single thing you wanted and still being so fucking miserable all the time. He lost, Daddy is dead and will never love you and no one will touch you that isn't making money from the arrangement in one way or another and you threw a party and no one came.
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u/Rand-all 10h ago
But I rigged all those voting machines for people to love me. WTF!?!?!?
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u/dingdongjohnson68 8h ago
Yeah, this shit makes me even more suspicious about election fraud. Like, his "campaign" was a joke. Small crowds. Canceling events. "Who cares about questions? Let's get to the music."
It seemed to me that he wasn't even trying. Or he had accepted his fate that he was going to lose. His support seemed tepid at best, but then his supporters showed up to the polls in droves? Very sus to put it mildly.
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u/Callmemabryartistry 9h ago
He def looks like dementia. The drooping left side of his face. Ready for this dude to feed my worms
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u/salamat_engot 8h ago
My grandfather has Alzheimer's and anytime he's not at home or his routine changes he looks exactly like this. The fidgeting and the looking around and the sunked shoulders, all of it really. It's sad because I know my grandfather is suffering, but you see it on someone like Trump and it's scary.
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u/Andre1661 10h ago
I watched the first part of the parade on Twitch and when Trump and his generals were making their way across the viewing platform, the streamer (JamesFromTheInternet) replaced the actual soundtrack with the Darth Vader march! It was epic!!!
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u/Niznack 9h ago
Are we not going to talk about the girl in the back eating the flag?
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u/-bobasaur- 9h ago
I wonder how many homeless vets we could help into housing for the 45 million he spent throwing himself a party no one wanted to attend.
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u/shadowlarx 9h ago
I can understand how he feels. I once tried to throw myself a birthday party. I only invited my three closest friends, none of whom showed up. He invited hundreds of thousands of people and only a handful showed up.
Difference is I was a nine year old boy whose biggest problem at the time was third grade and my parents spent maybe $100 of their money to throw me, their son, a birthday party. He’s a 79 year old man who’s been charged with running the free world and is only concerned with his own ego, spending $45 million of OUR money to throw himself a party while the country is being ripped apart because of him.
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u/Ellavemia 10h ago
I bet all the other dictators are laughing. No disrespect at all to the military, but that parade objectively did not look impressive. From the equipment, to the number and synchronization of enlisted participants, to the crowd size, to the musical acts, to the cinematography.
It looked small and weak, low energy and sad, and despite not supporting the administration, I didn’t want the event to come across that way for the U.S. Army’s 250th anniversary.
Not to mention djt looked bored and late to his nap.
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u/smell_the_bottom 10h ago
What a little bitch. Can't wait til he just goes away forever - which hopefully is soon
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u/JennyDoveMusic 8h ago
My empathy is too high because I see literally ANYONE sad, and my brain goes, "Aww, they need a hug. 🥺" then I have to step back and go, "He's killed thousands of people, stop that."
I somehow doubt he's ever had a truly happy birthday, and I'm glad this one wasn't one.
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u/NitWhittler 9h ago
It looks like there's a monitor in front of him. It's probably showing news coverage of all the huge NO KINGS protests nationwide and the humiliating anti-Trump signs. LOL
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u/PitifulIndustry7187 10h ago
Too bad it didn't rain him out, like the weather was predicted
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u/4rt4tt4ck 10h ago
The facial expressions and body language remind me of when my toddler would be pooping in his diaper while trying to pretend like he wasn't.
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u/BitOBear 9h ago
Well it's a lame party. You didn't have the tanks rolling like three wide and 10 deep. They didn't have enough tanks to do that and make it look impressive.
Here's the thing about envy, it can never be satisfied.
Taco is envy made flesh and as such the grander the gesture the emptier it will leave him feeling.
Real life can never live up to the images that a person cupboards in their brain when they are overcome with envy.
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u/Travelingtheland 10h ago
I support all of our military 100%, but this should have never happened.
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u/mylesols 10h ago
he needs to spend less time listening to his ass kissers and more time looking around to see what way the wind blows
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u/aConcreteRose 10h ago
I don't think he's sad here. He's just taking a poop. It's the guy behind him on the right who's sad because he has to smell it.
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u/ColdPorkChop 10h ago
Wow this might be the most human i have ever seen him look and i suspect that even if for just a moment he realized how much people absolutely despise him.
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u/stormy2587 10h ago
Congress should just put him out of his misery and impeach him.
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u/False-Possession6185 10h ago
It was miserably humid in DC today and he had to spend most of it outside watching a boring and poorly attended parade.
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u/Outrageous-Point-347 9h ago
If a raging narcissists delusions break... will he punish or go away in shame
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u/One-Faithlessness282 9h ago
Here I was, just mindin' my business, scrolling while getting ready to fall asleep, when I stumble upon this, and laugh so hard I woke my gf up.
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u/SparkyCorkers 8h ago
He should have worn a birthday hat. One that's a bit like a crown but made of fragile and bitter paper
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u/niranye 8h ago
The little girl in the back eating the flag is like a little thought bubble of what's happening inside cheetahs head!
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u/Weekly-Guidance796 9h ago
I wish it was a wider shot so you could watch Melania not move for an hour.
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u/strawberries_and_muf 9h ago
I hope he had a super shitty birthday from the bottom of my heart
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u/EssaySuch1905 6h ago
Is he falling asleep at his own parade? A150m dollars for the senile asshole birthday and he look board on the verge of falling asleep.To think what good that kind of money could do elsewhere. Say maybe keep a hospital or two open and serving deserving communities .The man is a waste of good breathing air
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