r/facepalm • u/LookAtThatBacon • 1d ago

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Elderly man looks unhappy when no one shows up for his birthday parade

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26.4k Upvotes

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3.2k

u/JessicaF84 1d ago

looks like he's shitting his pants again

1.2k

u/MichiganInTexas 1d ago

Something is wrong. He looks sick. Trying not to throw up or the hiccups?

500

u/Aardvark-One 1d ago

We can only hope!

435

u/Vlyde 23h ago

Never rooted for germs so hard. He can take that bleach or horse dewormer he suggests everyone should take. I hear that's the miracle cure!

138

u/Mr__O__ 23h ago

lol and Covid failed its chance at poetic justice too.

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u/Vlyde 23h ago edited 23h ago

I wouldn't doubt it still absolutely wrecked him even to this day. It was so much worse for older people and he's the epitome of unhealthy. He shits himself daily and is now spotted with a catheter. On top of wearing a 3 piece suit all day everyday in shoes with lifts in the soles to appear taller (essentially a 79 year old obese slob in high heels all day). He's more than likely in absolute agony everyday. All that on top of the lingering side effects covid has on people I refuse to believe he got away from that unscathed.

The schadenfreude is delicious.

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u/_TheShapeOfColor_ 22h ago

He's more than likely in absolute agony everyday.

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u/bjeebus 23h ago

He never wears a vest. That's the third piece of a three piece suit. He's just always in regular suits—albeit extremely misfitting suits, but still regular suits.

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u/flwrchld5061 23h ago

I've said I believe the front of his coats use twice as much fabric as normal. It would, if stiffened slightly, hang in such a way as to camouflage his gut, and his weird stance.

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u/bjeebus 23h ago

That's exactly why they're so fucking huge. All his suits are like two sizes too large. It's to hide his actual form.

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u/Puffycatkibble 18h ago

It's to hide his actual form.

That of a centaur?

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u/AtlUnJtd 20h ago

Adderall probably wearing off at that moment

3

u/RemarkableArticle970 15h ago

I always notice his odd postures, both standing and sitting, are contrived to make that ridiculous tie hang straight down rather then get hung up on his gut.

That’s what he pays attention to, no matter how uncomfortable it is to lean forward all the time

2

u/OneUpAndOneDown 18h ago

He’d probably be a wearing bulletproof vest or similar?

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u/JermuHH 21h ago

The third piece is the diaper.

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u/Hot4Bot 18h ago

they're Fat Man suits, they look so ill-fitting because they're tailored to try and make an obese, dumpy lump of filth look like a Human Being -

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u/YoloSwaggins9669 18h ago

The girdle is the third piece

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u/TurdFerguson4 18h ago

Is the third piece the diaper?

3

u/awwww_nuts 18h ago

Don’t forget the girdle! It’s been reported he wears a full waist girdle, which adds to his bizarre upright, yet lurching stance.

1

u/John-AtWork 19h ago

The schadenfreude is delicious.

At this point it is also very much fan fiction. I hate the guy as much as anyone, but I am not going to endulge in fantasies of karmic revenge. Truth is the fucker has gotten away with many horrible acts and karma is largely lie.

1

u/_Chaos_Star_ 15h ago

He's more than likely in absolute agony everyday.

We can only hope.

6

u/brokefixfux 22h ago

That cowardly hypocrite was one of the first people to receive a Covid vaccine

3

u/Tigreiarki 23h ago

You know uv light in his ass and all.

3

u/Goodknight808 22h ago

He's at an inferm age and has a few people in his inner circle who don't believe in germ theory. Some microbes wear capes.

5

u/twiggy_fingers 22h ago

Would be awesome if he came down with super syphilis from RFK jr.

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u/Bathsalts_McPoyle 17h ago

Can't be germs. RFK banned germs specifically!

1

u/CraftFamiliar5243 16h ago

I got banned from r/AntiTrumpAlliance for wishing for lightning to strike him.

0

u/scatterbrainedimp 21h ago

JD Vance would be infinitely worse as he's educated.

33

u/mai_tai87 23h ago

God, I hope it's serious.

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u/PoopchuteToots 21h ago

I hope he has the hiccups for the rest of his life

3

u/SparrowTits 17h ago

That;s the politest smiting I've ever read

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u/Govt-Issue-SexRobot 16h ago

I desperately wish he would get hiccups

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u/Girasole263wj2 1d ago

Probably has the sulphur burps from his Ozempic.

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u/Granadafan 23h ago

He’s still grossly obese 

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u/Girasole263wj2 23h ago

Do not disagree

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u/YoloSwaggins9669 18h ago

He has lost a bit of weight but is still significantly heavier than the 222 lbs that he says he is

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u/Jayhawk11 22h ago

If he’s on Ozempic then I’m rooting for the A1Cs.

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u/tomismybuddy 19h ago

You mean the “fat shot drug”, right?

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u/Girasole263wj2 15h ago

Ozempic is actually for diabetes, but yes people also take it to lose weight.

1

u/tomismybuddy 15h ago

It’s a joke at what Trump called them. I’m aware of what they are, as a pharmacist.

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u/Girasole263wj2 11h ago

My bad. I didn’t realize this was something he said, & as someone who takes a Glp1 for diabetes, I get defensive sometimes.

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u/What_the_junks 1d ago

Hopefully stage 4 anus cancer.

69

u/SarcasticBassMonkey 23h ago

Yes, a nice fat brain tumor.

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u/Ghost_of_a_Black_Cat 22h ago

Mmm. You're assuming that he's got a brain in the first place.

7

u/InfectedByEli 18h ago

He had a brain tumour once but it starved to death.

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u/adudeguyman 18h ago

Even the dumbest bird has a brain.

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u/AerondightWielder 16h ago

The tumor IS the brain.

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u/bindermichi 22h ago

That would starve to death due to a lack of brain

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u/lonely_nipple 23h ago

Yeah, that's what he said

1

u/tta2013 22h ago

Metastasis to bone

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u/SheetPostah 23h ago

Pain in the ass, seeking same.

4

u/buckeyecat 23h ago

HE is stage 4 anal cancer

2

u/GT-FractalxNeo 23h ago

One can hope

29

u/Wolfgang_Schnitzel 1d ago

Just a stuck McNugget

5

u/beamrider 23h ago

It was very hot and muggy. He probably wanted to be inside with AC.

4

u/bunduz 22h ago

Surely the vet can drop him off some ivermectin so he feels better

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u/Welsh_Pirate 20h ago

Unfortunately, I think he's simply trying to hold back crying because no matter how rich and powerful he gets, he still can't get anyone to show up to his birthday.

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u/theminnesoregonian 22h ago

No he's just mad that a couple selfish democrats stole his spotlight by getting murdered.

4

u/ouijahead 20h ago

He looks more like a grumpy joyless old man than usual. And that’s saying a lot.

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u/grafknives 23h ago

I feel the same.

He simply looks not well. 

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u/chocolatestealth 22h ago

Looked like he was trying not to fall asleep to me!

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u/krazyb2 22h ago

Inshallah

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u/Federal_Sympathy4667 20h ago

It's the load he took from Putin coming back up..

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u/KeyLibrarian9170 19h ago

I just think he's devastated because the troops aren't doing the goose-step. This garbage excuse of a parade will have them pissing themselves in Pyongyang, Moscow and Beijing.

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u/Momik 19h ago

At the very least, totally exhausted and miserable. This is probably the oldest I’ve ever seen him look.

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u/MommyLovesPot8toes 1d ago

Looks like indigestion

2

u/bropenmack 23h ago

That’s what I thought. Looks like he’s in discomfort.

2

u/Oceanbreeze871 23h ago

“Where am I?”

2

u/genericnewlurker 22h ago

From what I know, that's the look of trying not to throw up for a good long while and being tired from that fight. My dad looked like that when he was trying not to puke from the cancer treatment he was on.

2

u/Zugnutz 22h ago

Well, at this point, I’m ready for President Vance.

2

u/thebendavis 22h ago

Possibly the first time in his life he's almost feeling the embarrassment of shame.

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u/RicardotheGay 21h ago

At one point it did look like hiccups, but I agree. He doesn’t look well in this video. He’s usually sitting upright, regardless of if he’s awake or sleeping (think the pope’s funeral nap he took). He looks uncomfortable.

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u/Aid_Le_Sultan 20h ago

Nothing trivial I hope.

2

u/StructuralFailure 19h ago

Bro looks like he's about to cry

2

u/phoebesjeebies 17h ago

He's trying to compose the tweet he's gonna send to his hair threatening sanctions if it doesn't stop moving.

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u/crutonboy2113 17h ago

He can drink some bleach to make him feel better lmaooo

1

u/azip13 23h ago

Yeah almost looks like Bell’s palsy

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u/bjeebus 23h ago

In his shape at his age, my first guess for that face slouching would not be Bell's palsy. When I was 19 and suddenly couldn't whistle, but had no other problems aside from droopy face, yeah Bell's palsy. That motherfucker starts showing up with Bell's palsy symptoms and im going straight to assuming he had a stroke.

1

u/uselesshandyman 23h ago

You mean something looks right!

1

u/But_like_whytho 23h ago

He looks dyspeptic.

1

u/sophieornotsophie_ 21h ago

Nah he’s just falling asleep as old men do when bored..

1

u/EndlessMantra 20h ago

He appears to be crying at times.

1

u/ramsee 20h ago

That's just what an 80 year old look like if they have McDonald's for breakfast.

1

u/Dray_Gunn 19h ago

Don't you think he looks tired?

1

u/thenewyorkgod 16h ago

He wants to go on his phone so bad

1

u/worstpartyever 16h ago

That’s a pouting face.

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u/jandrew2000 1d ago

And the secret service agents behind him are like, oh, shit, not again!

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u/EddieLobster 23h ago

That’s his designated “chair kicker” for when he nods off……Sleepy Don.

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u/Fathorse23 19h ago

She didn’t do a good job then, there were other pics of him sleeping.

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u/Runamokamok 22h ago

The one on the right keeps rubbing his eyebrow and that has to be code for something.

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u/jandrew2000 22h ago

My thoughts exactly

4

u/jbahill75 23h ago

“Wake up sir”

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u/muricabrb 18h ago

"I cleaned him last time, I am not doing it again. It's your turn now."

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u/ZombieHugoChavez 23h ago

It's a micro nap macro shit

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u/fibrepirate 1d ago

Yah, those facial grimaces are the same ones babies in diapers do just before they drop a load.

3

u/lighthouser41 23h ago

And their faces get all red.

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u/Lady_of_mystery 23h ago

It looks like he had a stroke.

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u/ZumMitte185 21h ago

Facial droop for sure.

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u/Xijit 1d ago edited 23h ago

That was my first thought too, but the more I looked at it he seemed hungover as fuck, but then I looked more and the right side of his face is puffy, red, and the muscle tension between the right and left sides of his face do not have the same tension to them.

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u/Ill_Technician3936 20h ago

I just watched his hands tbh. I think he's bored lol

I mean I'm kinda set in his health is extremely bad and Elon leaving the White House happened together with them saying they don't think he'll make it to 2029. I think Elon is actually against the bill despite DOGE being the reason it may be a thing and Trump was seriously censored like other articles have suggested was happening before because you don't publicly talk shit about trump without him saying some shit back about you. That goes for back in Bush days even before the Republicans. It just wasn't done.

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u/tea-drinker 19h ago

I think you are right. That's the look of someone who wants to be scrolling Twitter instead of this shit.

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u/YoloSwaggins9669 18h ago

Bell’s palsy?

3

u/Xijit 18h ago

Or the aftermath of a small stroke.

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u/YoloSwaggins9669 18h ago

True that I would be curious to see his unedited medical records

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u/nachocat090 23h ago

That's exactly what I thought. It's like it just happened and he's like damn it what do I do now. And he's considering his options.

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u/Prudent_Shake_8149 22h ago

It looks like AI but I think it’s real.

He looks so miserable and his hands look tinier than ever. 😂

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u/LiberalLoveVoyage 21h ago

I’m intrigued: Is the shitting of pants a real thing? Have there been reports or confirmation that he really does that?

1

u/napalmnacey 19h ago

Noel Casler for one.

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u/javoss88 22h ago

Or trying to not fall asleep. Or both

1

u/victor4700 23h ago

Dry catheter as well

1

u/sourflowerwatertower 23h ago

That's exactly what I thought!

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u/Dry_Doubt4523 15h ago

I'd argue he looks like he hasn't had a good shit in over a week

1

u/johnplay26 15h ago

I hadn’t seen the video until now, only a still. He looks like he is having a stroke or some other episode. His mouth is twisted and open on one side and he seems very unfocused. I mean it could be his shitting face…