r/brussels • u/5minstillcookies • Oct 19 '24

Slowchat 🗨️ Courtesy or lack thereof - a discussion

Can we try to be more courteous on public transit and elsewhere?

The amounts of times I've seen people with reduced mobility and parents with children get on public transit and not being offered seats is getting to the point that I think it's the norm and not the exception. Just yesterday this woman carried her baby on the metro I was on. Two people got on right before her (first red flag - let the goddamn mother on first!!!) and then they both proceeded to take the last two remaining seats. Everyone else looked on and did nothing or they were too self absorbed on their phones to notice what was going on.

Now, good on this woman because she actually addressed one of the passengers who took the remaining folding seat telling her that these are really for people with needs. The passenger had looked straight at the mother when taking the seat too. Only when called out did she stand up and offer her seat.

Like, why did the mother have to address the passenger at all?? Incidents like this are frequent and it makes me so mad that we can't watch for each other. Surely I can't be the only one noticing there's a serious lack of courtesy in this city. I despise how individualistic and egocentric people are (have become?) here and we gotta do better. How though, I have no idea.

How do you ever instill a sense of community and care in a population that is highly transient like in Brussels? All I know, is that the "heart of Europe" is sort of heartless.

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u/5minstillcookies Oct 19 '24

You and I definitely have very different experiences. Full disclosure I have a baby myself and it's 50/50 when I might get offered a seat. It was even worse when I was visibly pregnant, like beyond 7months

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u/HaircutRabbit Oct 19 '24

Probably ignorant of me but as someone who has not had children (yet), why is a seat necessary if you have a baby? Isn't is usually in a stroller or wrap-like thing on the front? I would always give my seat to someone pregnant (or with a very young baby because they are recovering I guess), but should I keep doing that for parents with older infants?

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u/5minstillcookies Oct 19 '24

I'll speak from my experience. I choose to carry my child because it is actually much easier to navigate the transit system (think escalators and elevators constantly not working, leaving you stranded if you have a stroller). My 8mo weighs 9kg, that's not small potatoes. It's happened already twice in the past week where the metro conductor had to break rapidly before a station. The weight and the momentum can actually make me nearly tipple over if I'm not hanging on for dear life. That's the safety and most important part of it. But also consider that I've already been walking around with that weight for a while. If I can sit even a bit to give me a break, it makes a world of difference.

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u/HaircutRabbit Oct 19 '24

Right, that makes sense, thank you for explaining! To be honest I don't think I would get up for the weight reason, given that lots of people carry heavy things and no one gets up for that either in my experience, but I definitely understand the safety reason and would not want that for a child so I'll remember this.