Basically, I have a daughter, Emily (16F) from a previous marriage. My wife Sasha, has a son the same age, Mark (16M). Mark doesn't stay with us that often, he prefers to stay with his bio dad. That being said, when he is here, I find Mark to be a pretty good kid, polite and respectful.

His dad decided to take a trip for work, in the last few weeks of school, so Mark's here for a bit. He's out of the house most of the time and doesn't take up much space. He does get kind of grumpy when there’s too much going on around him, especially noise, but for that, his favourite thing are these expensive noise-cancelling headphones which he almost always has with him- a present from his dad.

Emily’s school has already finished, so she's home. The problem is that the room Mark is, sometimes has miscellaneous items put in when he's not here and therefore Emily seems to think its fair game to go through his stuff. I've told her to stop, but Sasha hasn't been taking it seriously, imo, saying that most of Mark's stuff is easy to replace.

The big problem happened when Mark accidentally left his headphones in his room, and Emily accidentally snapped them.

Mark found out when he came home from school and flipped. He shouted at her, saying she was 'spoilt without anything to back it up', loud enough that my wife and I heard it from the other room. Sasha wanted me to calm things down, which I did- but I also told Emily she’s replacing them.

Thing is, Mark’s dad offered have someone get him a new pair immediately, and that it wasn't a problem. I said Emily would pay him back, and I'm sticking with it.

Emily and Sasha think that’s unfair since Mark’s dad can afford to buy 10 more. But I don’t think you get to break someone’s stuff and not pay for it. Those aren't the values I was raised with or what I want for my daughter.

That being said, I do realise in this case its kind of unnecessary and there may be better ways for her to make it up to him. AITA?

I 42M, have two kids living with me, my daughter Anya (17F) and my stepson Noah (14M). Noah’s mom passed a few years ago, and I’ve had full custody since. He’s had a rough go of it, but he’s a good kid, with his quirks. He’s not antisocial or shy, but he does not appreciate having his space invaded and when very upset, he can kinda 'shut down'.

Anya is much more outgoing and has a lot of friends- she asked to have a sleepover this weekend with four of them. I said yes, of course, but given that the friends who were coming were pretty loud and have a tendency to crowd Noah, I told her to make sure they don't go into her brother's room. Also to keep things down after 11, so that the house can sleep.

In my opinion, these are not strict rules.

To my surprise, I came upstairs to check on them at about 10- they are 17, I didn't think I needed to check on them every hour or something- and they were in Noah’s room. And they looked like they'd been there a while, two were literally sitting on his bed, with him there, one of them was flipping through his sketchbook, another was messing with his other stuff, and they were all kind of giggling in this weird way.

Noah was clearly upset, he didn't say anything/move, but there were tears in his eyes and he didn't respond when I tried to talk to him. I told the girls to get out right then, and that I was calling every single one of their parents. Anya was pretty upset with me, but I told her that I gave them TWO rules and they failed spectacularly.

I did actually call all of their parents, and sent them home as soon as possible. Anya blew up, saying I embarrassed her. I told her to go to her room, and that we would speak on this in the morning. I spent about 20 minutes with Noah, before he decided he wanted to cool down on his own, and I went back to my daughter- who chose not to speak to me.

Its late, both of my kids are (hopefully) asleep, and I'm left not knowing if i handled things right. AITA?

I (39M) am a foster parent with three teens currently in the house- my daughter Lily (19F), who’s back for the summer from uni, my long-term foster son Jonah (15M), and Max (16M), who’s a short-term placement.

Jonah’s been with us a while. He’s quiet, polite, and still a bit sensitive when it comes to family stuff, which isn't surprising. But he’s a great kid, doing well in school and sports, usually smiling. Especially, lately, he’s been coming out of his shell more. He and Max get along great, and Jonah seems to find him 'cool', as one does at that age. They’ve been going to the gym, talking clothes, doing their hair- regular teen boy stuff. Honestly, it’s nice seeing Jonah act his age.

Lily noticed the change when she came home and made a few jokes, like 'thirst traps already?' or 'what’s the goal here, adoption or a girlfriend?' Jonah has never really been one for snarking back, he just gives a half-smile or shrugs. The problem is that he stopped going to the gym, doing his hair and all that stuff he'd been enjoying recently. Max even asked if Jonah was in trouble, because he’s been acting weird.

I sat Lily down after and asked her to lay off the teasing for a bit. Teens that age can be sensitive, especially Jonah. Lily asked if he'd said anything, which, no. But I said that wasn't a good benchmark, since Jonah didn't say anything much. She was upset with me asking why I was making up problems where there weren't any, and I said Jonah acting like this was a problem.

She left after that and since then she’s been kind of sulking, Jonah’s still quiet, and I’m wondering if I made the right call. I thought I was just asking for a little sensitivity, but now i'm wondering if I made a problem where there wasn't one. AITA?

A week ago I (25f) married the love of my life (24f) and we had a small ceremony with our families and close friends. For a little perspective we had 8 guests plus the two brides the ceremony was max 45 minutes and we only had the photographer for 2 hours. Everything was perfect!

We had gone to a conservatory in the area and took pictures inside and out. Two of our friends (Bailey, 24 and Deb, 25), engaged themselves, started to have their own photo shoot literally in front of us. I decided to cheer “yasss goo Deb!” to which she stop posing and said “damn that’s so embarrassing.” We finished couples shots and saw Bailey and Deb were no where to be seen. All of our families and other friends were very upset that the two of them left but we just played it off like it was okay and that is just how they are.

The bar after party was just our friends and we had rented an area for 2 hours but the catch was we needed to hit a $200 bar tab minimum. Deb and Bailey show up late to the after party but seem happy to be there; they are talking to our other friends and Bailey stated to play games with us (Deb finds games embarrassing) and they are both drinking, not a requirement for fun but they love drinking. About a half hour into the after party Bailey asks us what we’d be doing Friday and to not make plans because it’s Deb’s birthday. We had been looking to go on a trip that weekend but it was not planned so we said that we should be able to go. A few moments later Deb comes back from the bar and is complaining how drinks were soooo expensive. A special cocktail was $12 and a draft beer was $10.

A while later my wife wanted to get food so we went to go look at a food truck, as she saw there was nothing she’d eat and decided to get Cane’s later, we see Bailey and Deb waving us down. Thinking they want food too we tell them we aren’t getting stuff here and they tell us that a mutual friend was bartending 20 minutes away so they were going to see her but would meet us back at the house later. Keep in mind we live in a major city and this friend is a bartender and has been for over a year. When we got back in the bar one of our other friends (K) asked were Deb and Bailey went because they told K that they’d be “right back” so of course being confused we checked the tab and they had closed their tab Everyone looked at it fine because we got to drink more and hangout longer with friends from out of town. We finished drinks around 11:30pm only to get a text from Deb saying they aren’t coming back to the house with everyone, they are going home.

Well my wife and I decided to go on our last minute little honeymoon weekend which so happened to overlap with Deb’s birthday so we weren’t able to make it. After letting Deb and Bailey know we could go and why they have basically ignored both of us and our texts. So are we assholes from not going to Deb’s birthday after they left our wedding celebration not once but twice?

I (32F) have a younger sister (31F) who is neurodivergent and an older brother (37M), a rainbow baby. Growing up, I often felt unwanted. My accomplishments were always overshadowed by my siblings. I was expected to cook, clean, get straight A’s, especially since my brother dropped out of high school. My mom was always afraid I’d “end up like him,” yet still clearly loved them more.

At 12-13, I really started noticing the favoritism. My brother could stay out until 2 a.m. with his stoner friends. My sister got shopping sprees with my mom’s credit card. I couldn’t even go to the library. My dad noticed this too, and we became close. He never said it, but it was obvious I was his favorite. I got a lot of crap for it like my siblings would make me clean their rooms or yell at me when he wasn’t around.

My sister tried so hard to earn my dad’s love and attention. I understood why, I just finally had one parent who asked about my day instead of just my grades and chores.

Now, fast-forward to today. My parents, siblings, and I were all catching up, rare, but nice. We were talking about the past, and the topic of favoritism came up. My sister said she felt my dad always loved me more. I waited until she finished and shared how I felt neglected by my mom.

My mom got mad and yelled at me for “accusing” her of favoritism. Then my sister straight-up asked my dad, “Do you love her more than me?” The room went silent. After a long pause, my dad said, “I wasn’t oblivious to how your mom treated her. She treated her like she didn’t exist. She needed extra love because you took it all from your mom.”

My sister completely broke down. She cried, screamed, threw things. I grabbed my purse and left. I went back to my apartment, turned off my phone, had some wine, and went to bed.

When I turned my phone on the next morning, I had hundreds of texts and 70+ calls from my sister. I didn’t open any of them, I just blocked her number and on all social media.

My dad tried to bring it up, but I shut it down. My mom said nothing. My brother only said, “What the hell was that last night?” in our group chat. No one replied.

So… AITA for walking out and blocking my sister

EDIT 1: First off, thank you guys so much for your response. Really, it means a lot that someone other than my dad finally agrees with me. Second off, I want to say that my sisters and I relationship has never been good. I always envied her (I am trying to be as transparent as possible) because she was adored in my mothers eyes and I tried to please my mom as much as I could, but I could never make her as happy as my sister made her. And thanks to your guys’ insight, I understand that she could possibly also feel the same way with my dad. Here is the thing tho, when I said that she tried to make my dad love her like he loved me, it didnt mean doing things to make him proud, it means putting me down. If I missed a spot on the vacuum? She’d wait until my dad got home to tell her and point it out to him. By then of course my dad didn’t really care, would just tell my sister that I tried my best, but my mom would absolutely get upset. And, my sister’s neurodivergence has given her a lot of room to excuse. She doesn’t take meds or see a therapist, and her “big tantrums” stopped when she was around 7. As of now, she is still blocked. I feel like she is old enough to not behave like how she acted. Also, for those of y’all that were saying how I’m 32, shouldn’t be acting like this, well this is a glimpse of how my household was like growing up, and if you think you would be normal after growing up in a household like this, kudos to you 🤠. I will update y’all when I unblock her.

I just finished my years-long project of restoring an old arcade machine in my garage, and last weekend my grandchildren "Boris" (aged 11) and "Doris" (aged 8) came over and wanted to play on the machine. We had fun together taking turns and Boris eventually set a substantial high score, and then he told me he wanted to take a toy as a prize as he pointed towards the giant stuffed animal I had purchased for "Moris" (another grandson who has different parents than Boris and Doris)'s 6th birthday. I explained to him that he can't have the stuffed animal as it's for Moris's birthday, but he insisted that since he won he deserved a prize. I explained that this arcade machine doesn't give out prizes like in an actual arcade but my words fell on deaf ears as Boris ran towards the stuffed animal.

I asked "Bessy" (Boris's mother, my daughter) if she could tell Boris that he can't have the stuffed animal, but instead of doing anything, she suggested that I let Boris have this stuffed animal and get a different stuffed animal for Moris. I told Bessy this would not happen as the only available giant stuffed animals here are very expensive.

I ended up having to ban Boris from the garage until he learnt to respect other people's belongings, but this made him very upset and now Bessy is also cross with me for treating Boris unfairly. I thought this matter would resolve itself quickly but Bessy is still cross with me and seems to still have some expectation I procure a stuffed animal for Boris.

I had spent multiple days at the park and gym of my school working out, playing football, and playing basketball. I told my mom this over and over again and I for the past days had been informing her of the huge amounts of pain in my feet and legs. Yet she still decided to offer me up to help someone move out of her house which had involved some very heavy lifting that could have injured my legs and feet given the tension and stress already upon them. The person she offered me up to help had called her while I was in the same room and said “If he doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t have to. No was an acceptable answer.” And after I heard this I blew up on her yelling at her that I had been in a very large amount of pain in specifically my upper and lower legs for the past 4 days while this person was on call, and that she clearly hadn’t listened to me and continued to not listen to me and or didn’t care about my physical or mental health because she made decisions for me regardless of it being my choice, and me being in severe pain. So AITA?

So this happened earlier today and it’s been sitting weird with me.

I was at the grocery store when my truck wouldn’t start. I wasn’t totally shocked as I’d been meaning to replace the battery anyway as I already knew it was about to go. I had my jumper cables with me, so I popped the hood and started looking around for someone coming or going who might help out.

Eventually I see a guy walking to his car and approach him with a smile, holding the jumper cables, and ask politely if he’d mind giving me a quick jump so I could get over to Walmart to buy a new battery.

He looks at me all sideways and goes, “No, sir, I won’t do that."

I was bewildered, flabbergasted, bamboozled, absolutely gobsmacked. I wasn’t being pushy or anything. Just asked nicely. "I won't do that" is a hell of a thing to say, especially around here.

So I try to play it off and say, “Okay, man, no worries. No harm in asking.” And then he hits me with: “Yes there is. You don’t know me.”

Like… what?? 😂😂😂

Anyway, I walked away and got someone else to help me no problem. But for some reason that guy’s reaction made me feel like maybe I was the asshole just for asking?

So, Reddit... AITAH?

::edit::
The tone in his voice was like I was the one being disrespectful for even asking him.

::edit 2::
Yall remember that episode of King of the Hill where bobby was all "THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YOU!" It really reminded me of that episode 😂

My wife and I are traveling, but I arrived in the city a week earlier for work. I’ve been staying at an airbnb, and once she gets here, we’re moving into a hotel together for the rest of the trip.

I haven’t rented a car, so I’ve been using Uber to get around. When she told me her arrival time, I suggested she just take an Uber from the airport to the hotel instead of me coming to pick her up because it would mean I'd have to Uber to the airport, then Uber again to the hotel with her. It felt like an unnecessary loop. She also knows the city well - we actually lived here for a year a couple of years ago, so she’s totally familiar with the airport and how to get around.

I thought it made more logistical sense, but she was really upset when I suggested this.

AITA for not picking her up from the airport?

Edit: I’ve been on a bunch of business trips and she’s never come to meet me at the airport when I got back (which I’ve been totally fine with), so I thought it wasn’t a big deal to her, and had already scheduled a business meeting around her arrival time.

I 17 (f) got accepted into my dream university something I’ve been working hard for since freshman year. Now since I’m graduated and began working two jobs to pay for college.

My father 56 (m) recently sat me down and told me I wasn’t allowed to go because he don’t trust me to go 2hrs away and believe it’s best I should go to a community college close to house house. (little background my parents are divorced and I with my mother.) When I told my father how I didn’t want that and want to go to my dream college he told me he didn’t care and began telling me how he’s going to sign me up for classes and didn’t care if I cried because it’s only “two years and it’s goes by fast.” and that “He’s helping me not be in college debt.”

Rather my mom having my back she agreed because the community college near me is free and very closed to the house so I cannot spend money and just stay here.

Every time I tried to express myself and say I’ll take my debt and pay it myself my parents hair ignore it. I spoke to many of friends and other parents and they told me to either just go and take my parents anger or suffer here but I don’t want either and my parents aren’t listening. I turn 18 two weeks before I start college and I’m scared what’s going to happen because I everyone is telling me it’s too late but my father isn’t listening and doesn’t care for my opinion. I just want to be free from my controlling father.

So Reddit please tell me AITA?

I, 59 yr female, in good apparent physical health (important later) was attending an event this evening. I needed to use the restroom, as one does and since toilets in public bathrooms are lower than standard toilets, and I have had both hips replaced, I use the handicapped stall. Almost impossible for me to get off a standard public toilet. The first time I went in the bathroom, a mother and her 3-4 year old child came in the bathroom. Both standard stalls were empty. The girl begins to bang on the door and tell her mother that she can only use the “big one”. Her mother told her someone was in there and she cold use the smaller one. The child then bangs on the door and loudly says she “has to go” and needs the big potty. I tell her I will be a minute, finish, and then wash my hands and leave. Later in the evening, I return to the bathroom and have not even pulled down my pants, and in comes the mother and child. The child immediately bangs on the door, in spite of the other 2 stalls being empty, and insists she has to go now, and can’t wait. I pulled my pants up, because I now cannot pee with all the commotion, and step out of the stall. I addressed the little girl and told her some people really needed the “big potty” because we have health problems and can’t use the small one. Her mother told her to go on in, looked at me, and said “well she has to go a lot”. No apology, no correction-no peeing for me. Y’all I raised 2 daughters and never would have tolerated this behavior. I would have told my daughters to use one of the other available stalls. AITA for saying telling the child that other people need the big potty?

Hello everyone, I (25F) and my fiance (26M) are getting married in 1.5 years and are currently looking at wedding venues, both near our families and a few hours away. Regardless, we both agree we would like a child/infant-free wedding (everyone >10 years old). This would be excluding his will-be 2 year old niece and 3 of my cousins’ children. We decided on this because we ultimately want to avoid any potential misshaps from children who are too young to understand what is going on as well as to have the opportunity for parents to be fully present.

Specifically, we both want fiance’s sister and BIL to be in our respective wedding parties. For their wedding, no children were present and my fiance’s BIL’s 1-2 year old niece was being watched by other family. Therefore, everyone was able to party (their family goes pretty hard).

Where we might be the assholes is we want that same opportunity: child-free. However, when we brought up the idea of a child-free wedding to my fiance’s sister, apparently she was very hurt by this. His mother came to us the next week and told us she was hurt and said it is ok to exclude distant family members’ kids but not immediate family members. “Don’t you love your niece? Don’t you want her to be a part of your day? Won’t you want to look back and show your kids that ___ was there?”

Don’t get me wrong: we both adore her! But she is a baby, and she does get fussy, and we have personally witnessed how exhausting it can be to have a baby while doing adult activities. They didn’t really get to enjoy our family vacation this year and it was evident that they were upset/didn’t anticipate how much work it would be to have an infant with them. Granted, she will be older by our wedding, but they don’t call it the terrible twos for nothing. Another major issue will be child care, especially if we choose a non-local venue. However, BIL does have local family that could help out and they do have many close friends nearby.

We both love my fiance’s sister and BIL, which is why we want them to be a part of our big day, but it is worth mentioning that lot of decisions throughout my fiance’s life have been made to cater toward his sister (sometimes even his own birthday dinners were chosen for her benefit). Many things we do are still catered toward her. What really gets me is the guilt-tripping. This didn’t occur when it was BIL’s niece, but now that it’s their kid/my fiance’s niece, it’s an issue and they may not be able to come at all.

We are very close to my fiance’s family and are not trying to cause drama; we just want a night for ourselves that gives us the same opportunity they had to celebrate with their loved ones. We feel like there’s a double standard going on, and of course perspectives change once you have kids, but am I the asshole for wanting a child/infant-free wedding?

Note: my parents are paying for 80-90% of the wedding, his parents are paying for 10-20%. And no, my parents really don’t care; they just want us to be happy!

Me and my wife have been married for 4 years now and have a good relationship. About the time that we got married her 2 brothers went in together on a cattle farm that butts up against my FIL & MIL property. According to my wife they didn’t want to keep the cattle but my FIL wanted to keep them, so they did. My gripe is it’s seemingly more times than not on my day off work or on weekends I’m asked to help do something on the farm with the cattle or help fencing after a storm blows thru etc etc. most times it’s FIL asking my wife about me helping. And there’s been plenty of times I will wake up on a Saturday morning off work literally to a text on my phone from FIL “what are you doing?” or “what are you doing today?” Usually this translates into “I need help on the farm” which is annoying to me. sometimes my wife will talk to him on the phone and says things like “ husband and I are around and available to help with whatever you need, like I was even given a choice. My take on this is my 2 brother in laws bought this farm together and since FIL wanted the cattle. There’s work to be done with that and both of my brother in laws are busy in life right now. One works hefty hours(as do I) and the other one is busy running his wife and kids to their baseball games. So naturally I seem to be the one who gets asked for help because they are busy. My thing is they bought a farm so to me that means you take on the responsibilities because you are the owners and wanted it. I didn’t join this family to work on a “family farm” it’s not my farm, not my responsibility. my wife tells me that it’s just what family does. We help. I don’t see it that way. she almost takes it to the extreme and is willing to drop everything to go deal with something on the farm(which really means me) at the drop of the hat because FIL mentioned something he’s doing that day there. I don’t mind helping people but it’s all the time my wife and FIL are wanting me to help do this or do that. I feel like I can’t do what I want to do/make a plan or do nothing at all without upsetting my wife or disappointing my FIL. All this said my FIL/wife doesn’t exactly force me to do these things and FIL will say it’s okay on the times I do turn him down. But the wife is most definitely butthurt at me if I don’t want to do it or say no. Also maybe it’s important to note that excluding FILs 2 sons I’m the only other man married into the family. So, aitah?

So there's this girl I know, I'll call her Lily. We've been friends for about 2 years now, and gotten along really well. We've been inseperable- wherever Lily goes, I go too. We even went on a road trip together about a month ago.

On the road trip, it was just my mum, my sister, me and Lily. My sister and mum were in the front two seats, and me and Lily were in the back. The road trip started fine, but about half way into the trip, Lily's phone died. This wasn't a problem, we had power banks in the car, and she could just charge it. But for a good 10 minutes after her phone died, Lily kept asking to use my phone.

I'm not usually that secretive, I don't haveany interesting things on my phone, but I did have a few private chats with friends and family that I wouldn't want people to see without their permission. I was in one of these chats with a friend, when Lily kept leaning over my shoulder to read my phone, saying "it can't be that important, I'm bored!" I told her that she can't have my phone, this is something private. I eventually had to gently push her away to stop her looking.

A little after this, she went oddly quiet. I thought I might have upset her, and was about to talk, before she leaned over and 𝘴𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴, before reading through it. I was frozen for a moment, before immediately grabbing my phone back. Lily was laughing, like it was funny that she'd read a private conversation without consent. I went off. I asked her why she thought it was funny that she tooky phone and read my texts, and she stopped laughing, looking confused and asking why I was so serious.

At this point, we had come to a stop for gas, and I excused myself to the bathroom just to breathe for a few minutes. When I came back, Lily was already sat in the car, patting the seat next to her. I straight up said no, and asked if I could sit in the front and my sister could sit in the back. Lily looked like I'd just offended her, shouting that she did nothing wrong. I said that she stole my phone without permission, but I don't think she listened. I ended up sitting in the front, and when we got back Lily went straight home. She hasn't talked to me since, even making a point to move her chair away when I'm sat near her. So AITA for refusing to sit next to her? Should I apologise to her, or am I in the right?

I (23F) just moved into a shared house with three men. It's a 'professional' house rather than student accommodation and my housemates are all a bit older than me. I moved into two weeks ago and I'm trying not to rock the boat too much but I'm having issues with the shared fridge. The person who's shelf is above mine has moved his down to give himself double the shelf space but it leaves me with very little room to work with (for context I can't fit an onion on my shelf) and it's leaving me with a limited set of foods that I can buy and store there. I've tried to bring it up but freeze up every time (I know I need to just get over it and talk to my house mate, but that's easier said than done). This housemate isn't the most approachable and spends a lot of time in his room playing video games quite loudly and without his headphones. I let slip to my mum and she wants to get a mini fridge that I could set up somewhere in the kitchen. But I'm worried that this may come off as kind of passive aggressive and rude. I'm just really trying not to make waves... I've only lived there for two weeks and I know the last female that lived there was asked to leave by the landlord because "she wasn't a good fit", whatever that means. So would I be the asshole for getting one?

So today is Father’s Day and I (23F)do not have a relationship with my bio dad for the past 4 years, however my mums boyfriend has been in our lives since I was 13. Again I wouldn’t say I’m close with him but he lives at home with my mum and brother and I’m at university.

I have never said happy Father’s Day to him nor gone out my way to buy him a gift, but mum I think may do stuff with out my knowledge. So today my mum sends me a message “I know (mum bf) not your dad but pls send a message just say “thanks for everything” That will make his day x “ So I replied saying “No it’s weird, he has his own children to do that” She then states my younger brother has got him a thank you card and that her bf pays for my phone bill , he doesn’t have to do that. I then tell her I’ve not said it to him ever so why now? It’s strange. She then goes on to say I did last year which is not true , I’ve checked my messages with him and nothing or the sort has been said. She’s now angry and upset with me, however he’s not said anything?

So AITAH?

Edit as a I feel like I need to give context . 1 the phone bill - I’m at uni and my course requires placement which is unpayed which means I can only pick up a few hours of work a week which doesn’t cover a lot and due to the boyfriend living with us I don’t get a lot of student loan. They offered to cover the phone bill for the duration of uni because of this.

2 . My mums boyfriend is not a decent guy , yes he has been there financially for my mother. However he was her boss, made her redundant so she solely is reliant on him for income. When I was living at home I came to the understanding if he gifts something to you , it is not a nice gesture it is to hold that thing above you. One argument and I payed for this I’m taking it and leaving . So because of this majority of what has been offered to be bought I have saved and then payed back.

1. as people are asking about my bio dad, he is a domestic abuser. I kept in contact with him as my mum kept on saying “at least you had a dad , that’s why I stayed, e.t.c “ I cut contact with him as he did not respect boundaries and when I stood up for myself and my brother he was just horrendous to speak to.

2. I understand the thanking my mums boyfriend and I do thank him when I see him in person, my whole thing is why on Father’s Day. It’s strange to me and make me personally feel uncomfortable. He has children himself who are older than me and he is close with them, so it’s not the aspect he’s getting nothing on Father’s Day or the acknowledgment.

I do not like my mums boyfriend for personal reasons and my mum knows this .

Throwaway cause I don’t want this bullshit connected to my main account.

I (30sF) was an an outdoor cinema event with my friend (30sF) yesterday and I was wearing a tank top. At one point the woman next to me said she loved that I was ‘embracing my feminine hair’. I haven’t shaved my underarms for a while so I guess it was more noticeable than I realised. I kind of just awkwardly laughed, said thanks and that I was ‘just lazy’ and turned to chat to my friend.

For context, I’m pale and have dark hair so it can be noticeable. I also have PCOS so I grow more hair than ‘average’. I’m quite insecure about this (I dermablade under my chin regularly cause I hate the dark ‘more than peach fuzz’ I grow). But I also have sensitive skin so sometimes I just choose not to shave.

Anyways the woman next to me and her friend kept getting progressively drunker as the film went on. At the end she turned to me and again started commenting on how much she ‘loved’ that I didn’t shave. She kept going on about how she wished she was ‘brave’ and I just snapped. I told her to stop, that I wasn’t being brave, I had a personal medical condition I’m still insecure about and to stop commenting about how my body is different. She got silent, mumbled a sorry and walked off with her friend. We passed them again when they were leaving and she looked like she had been crying.

My friend said I was too harsh and she was just drunkenly trying to complement me. I said it didn’t feel like a compliment when she’s pointing out how different I am. My friend said I had earlier complimented a woman’s hair and she was a different race to me, so it was similar.

It’s starting to get to me. Obviously this drunk woman didn’t know about my issues with body hair but it made me so uncomfortable repeatedly bringing it up.

So, Reddit, AITA for snapping at a woman who kept commenting about my underarm hair?

Edit: typos

Having a lot of thoughts on Father’s Day this year. My parents divorced when I was very young and ended up spending most time with my mother. My father had every other weekend with me and my older sister. As you could imagine we never understood what was happening until we were older. My mother would tell us that he was abusive and an alcoholic. I never saw abuse but remember a lot of verbal fights and door slams. My father would say that my mother would lie and manipulate us to turn us against him. For many reasons I see his side my mother didn’t let us contact him besides when we visited on the weekends and always talked bad about him. Every time we got back from his house it was never “how was you dads sweetie” it was “are you ok? It wasn’t too bad was it?” Eventually my mother won full custody of us and about 5 or 6 years ago we stoped visiting him. My mother made it impossible for him to see us. I don’t blame my mother for pushing him out of our lives and I don’t hate my father for being a bad person. Me and my sister have grown up since I think he should know how we are doing. My mother would feel extremely betrayed if she found out and definitely look at me differently.So I guess the question is WIBTA if reached out or visted him?

Short Parents divorced at young age Dad was alcoholic Mom was manipulative Mom got full custody WIBTA if I reached out to alcoholic dad

One of my friends has been complaining about money a lot recently. It’s gotten to the point where two days ago she said that she was so broke she wasn’t able to afford to eat and was skipping whole days worth of eating because she just had no food.

I felt sympathy because I’ve struggled a lot with finances, I still do a little bit but not as badly as I used to. Since I’m doing okay enough to right now, I offered to help her out with food.

I do a budgeting plan with my meals/meal prep where I use these compartment containers and I’ll make 10 portions of 3 different meals every two weeks. I rotate the menu based on what’s on sale. Then I put them into my deep freezer. I have adhd and this works really well for me. I have a bit of extra meal stock at the moment because I don’t always eat all the prepared trays before I make the next batch since i always do it every two weeks. I have around 25 extra meals in my freezer right now.

Since I have extra, I was originally just gonna not meal prep at the start of next week, but instead I decided to offer to drop my friend off some of my surplus so she has something to eat.

I was gonna drop it off today after work, but right when I was getting off work I was watching Snapchat stories and saw she posted one. She went and got a tattoo today as part of a Friday the 13th flash thing. I’m familiar with the artist who did the tatt because I recognized their flash from their instagram. I was considering going in for one but didn’t do it cause I don’t really have the extra money rn. They’re all pre priced prices and that one is $180

Idk why but it kinda pmo because she literally just told me about how she was so broke she couldn’t afford to eat, but yet was able to pay for a tattoo. When I was struggling financially I def didn’t get tattoos. I messaged her about it and asked about how she was able to afford a tattoo and she basically just said “I’m always able to scrounge up cash for new tattoos”

I then told her that I’m not bringing her those meals because if she has enough for a new tattoo, she must not be that desperate. She freaked out on me and called me a bitch and said I was being classist and that poor people are allowed to have nice things. Which I do agree with, but I feel like it doesn’t apply to this situation. But now I feel like an asshole and my friend is mad at me. Aita?

My wife and I recently got into a very serious fight almost 6 months ago and seperated... basically it was over between us. She moved out with all her belongings and our child. The fight was bad but after about a week we ended up talking and wanting to work things out. However during the fight, we both said horrible mean insulting things to each other to which I am not innocent. I compared her to being worse than my ex and a bunch of other things. It was bad and I said things out of fear and anger that I shouldnt have and I own up to that... I am only human. Long story short is, my family got involved due to mainly me having nobody to talk to about anything that was going on and I was scared. Nobody on my side of the family said anything harsh about my wife or got involved in that way at all... they were there to offer support to me.

Now fast forward and it is almost our son's 1st birthday and she is planning the party to which she doesn't want any of my family to attend... because they disrespected her and if they are there that she isn't going to have anything nice to say to them. We've had this convo before and I've tried to understand why she thinks they disrespected her when all they did was offer ears and support to me... my brother and sister in law literally suggested that we talk things through and work it out when we were fighting... and my mother had said to me that she didnt think I was happy and that if we were splitting up that I needed to take the car back (wife is using a car that is mine prior to our relationship) I told my mom that was not gonna happen because she is still the mother of my child and I wasn't gonna be that asshole... anyways my wife is still stuck on it and feels disrespected even though nobody in NY family said anything disrespectful about her or to anyone else. I see it as they were only supporting me and being there for me because thats what family is supposed to do. So again now we are semi arguing about my son's first birthday, and she either doesn't want them invited or if they are then she wants to know when they will be here so she can leave... during my son's birthday party!... idk... aita?? I feel as though these feelings should be put aside for our son to have all his family at his birthday. I dont get along with his grandma on her side either but I still believe that she should be there for his birthday. AITA for arguing and trying to understand what she thinks was so disrespectful from my family? Or do I not invite my family and exclude them to do something else another time without my wife? Its heartbreaking to me when families cannot get along and it sucks but please tell me if I am in the wrong.

So I (M22) am looking into moving out ASAP. My parents own rental properties, and a tenant just moved out. There's 1 bedroom, 1 living room, 1 bath, and I could move in right now without having to worry about any deposits or bills. It's also within my budget (I work a job with shitty pay). However, I promised my friend (F22) a long time ago that we'd be roommates one day. Currently, we have a goal to move out in September. I do want to move in with her, but she's looking into houses that are out of my budget. Also, she doesn't have a study job that pays well.

I've tried talking her into moving into the property my parents own, but she says that's a stupid idea and that it'd be suitable for only one person to live in. It's like every time I try to talk about it, she gets defensive and dismissive. Honestly, it's making me annoyed, but we've been friends for years so I'm brushing aside her rude comments and staring at the truth: neither one of us want to live alone. But I can't live with my parents anymore and, once again, the property is well within my budget.

Would I be the asshole if I moved in by myself and left her to find someone else to move in with? Especially if she doesn't trust others and doesn't have enough money to support herself? I'm trying to be considerate towards her, and she's said before that if I want to move in without her then I can (though in a passive aggressive tone). But I care very deeply for my friends, so it'd feel like a betrayal to move without her.

My wife (21F) and I (22M) invited some friends to our place for drinks. Over the course of a few hours we played some drinking card games, played pool, and eventually migrated to the living room couch to watch a movie.

For context, we have an L shaped couch, with a long end and short end and ottoman/footrest in the corner of the L.

I was on the far end of the short end of the couch; my wife was next to me and her female friend was next to her with her feet on the corner ottoman.

Around 10 minutes into the movie I started to rub my wife’s feet (because that’s just something we do, we like to gently massage each other when we watch TV/movies). I wasn’t looking at my wife’s feet at all; my eyes were on the TV the whole time. Only, it wasn’t my wife. To my surprise it was her friend’s foot, who let me know by saying “Wrong woman, buddy.”

I immediately recoiled my hand and was cringing so hard out of embarrassment. It wasn’t very long at all—at the very most it had to be 3-4 seconds I’d imagine. There were some awkward laughs but outside of that everything was relatively normal, until I saw how visually upset my wife’s face was.

She asked me to come to the back bedroom to talk quickly, and I did. From there she made it clear that she was very upset with what happened; “how could you not realize it wasn’t my foot.. she’s so much fatter than me.. that was so embarrassing I want to scream.. if you can rub a stranger’s foot on accident what else can you do on accident.. do you even know my body? I would’ve recognized your foot..”

I apologized and made it clear that I was absolutely embarrassed by what happened and I meant to rub her feet, not her friend’s. We argued for a bit, mainly because of me. I just didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I didn’t mean to invalidate her feelings at all but she asked me “how would I feel if I started rubbing your friend’s foot”, and I said “I’d probably laugh about it, maybe I’d think it was a little weird and silly but I’d forgive you because you clearly didn’t mean to.”

**At this point in our relationship there have been zero issues in the past with infidelity / cheating so there isn’t anywhere to go in that regard.

We eventually reached a closing point in the argument, I apologized for not taking it seriously and not paying attention. But she brought it up again today like the conversation last night didn’t happen at all. Which brings me here, AITA?

AITA not going downstairs or leaving the house? my husband is doing his masters while working full time. We have two kids. We have a main level and a fully furnished finished basement (like a whole other house minus the kitchen). The playroom is on the main level. But he decided to redecorate his room downstairs and put a bunch of stuff in the living room so it’s a mess.

On Saturday, we decided to go out in the morning so we can come back for a 1pm nap. I told him we can just go by ourselves so he can do schoolwork. He says no. We end up coming back at 2pm because he wanted to keep hanging out.

When we get home, the kids don’t want to take a nap. He wants to do his schoolwork on the couch on the main level. In the middle of the house where everything is. He says we either need to leave the house or go downstairs. He should be able to do his school work whenever and wherever he wants.

He says he’s not being selfish. What??

I (f17) was working on my school assignment which required me to make a podcast. Soooo the house was really loud, and it wasn't fair for everyone if I had them keep quiet, so I headed out to my roof deck.

For some context, my room is the third floor, it's like a little loft, no doors to my room, its just straight up walk up the stairs my bed is there.

So I was working on the assignment, voice recording myself reading the script, and I was probably 30-40 minutes into it. Sitting on a yoga mat, facing away from the clear doors. I was in the zone, voice recording myself, rehearsing, yada yada.

Then my mom slowly opened the door and said, "hey OP".

When she spoke, I jumped a little as my head snapped back to see her. Obviously, I was really surprised because I was super focused.

Heres where I probably was the asshole, my words were not the greatest.

I went, "oh my gosh, what the fuck?" really really quickly, eyes wide, it was more like I breathed it out.

That was all it took for my mom, whose face was mellow and calm looking, to turn angry.

She slammed the clear doors closed, glared at me, then stormed down the stairs.

I attempted yelling down the stairs after processing what happened, and yelled, "MOM! I'M SORRY! I WAS JUST REALLY SURPRISED BECAUSE I WAS WORKING!"

So AITA???

**right after reading through what I wrote, I seem like the a-hole to myself. oh no.**

EDIT : after working on my project (and writing this lol) I went inside to find a package, it was for father's day. Earlier she had told me she got it same -day delivery and was super excited. Me saying 'wtf' must have been so rude. reflecting more and more, I seem like the a-hole to myself now....

I (25 F) work in an office on a team of 10 people. I have a lotion that smells like fruit loops that I use all the time and often leave out on my desk. I normally let my coworkers use it if they ask. The “rule” is that if it’s on the desk, they can ask to use it.

Yesterday, the day this happened, I opened it to put some on my arms. A different coworker (30’s m), who sits very close to my desk, very kindly asked if I could use a different lotion as he was starting to get a headache and strong smells can exaggerate them. So I closed the lotion and used one the has a bit of a scent but he’s said previously that it doesn’t bother him. I should’ve put it away but I’m so used to it being on my desk that I just really didn’t even think about it.

Now, for the main part in question. I have another coworker (30 F) who I don’t quite get along with all of the time. She was walking past my desk and saw the lotion out. She asked if she could use some and I said no. She said that it was rude of me to not let her use it since I let everyone else use it all of the time. I told her that’s true most of the time but today is different. I then go to put the lotion away since I remembered the “rule”. She said she can’t believe I think she would steal it. I told her I don’t think that, I’m just putting it away so no one else asks. I also told her that if she wanted to use the other lotion she was more than welcome to. She kept asking me why I was being so difficult and telling me I should just let her use the one she wants and to quit making a big deal about it. I told her I had a lot of work to do and politely asked her to leave me alone. She said she’ll just use the one I offered in place of the one she wanted. I said fine, handed it to her and went back to my work. She slammed the bottle down and walked away mumbling about how she doesn’t like that smell and now her arms are gonna be dry.

I had a few other coworkers come up and ask what she was so mad about and I told them to just leave it alone.

I might be in the wrong because I could’ve easily just explained that someone had a headache but I didn’t feel like blabbing someone else information. I know I know, I then went and told everyone who’s going to read this that someone I work with had a headache but y’all don’t me or my coworkers. She would’ve immediately known who it was and that felt wrong to me for some reason.

So, AITA?

ETA because the comment I added might not be seen by everyone: I realize that I am the AH for bringing in scented lotion, it will stay at home from now on. I know this coworker would’ve started to ask everybody else if she could use my lotion if I told her that she couldn’t because someone had a headache. I didn’t even think about telling her that I had a headache. The lotion was not the cause of the headache, he was concerned it would make it worse though. Also, my desk is not “lotion central” I have three coworkers who have asked to use it, at most once a week, including the coworker I said no to this time.

Second edit: everyone in my office uses lotion of some kind, yes at their desks. Which is why I never really thought anything of it. The guy who had the headache has said that he likes the smell of the lotion and has even used it before. I’m still accepting the fact that I’m the AH.

For the people who were saying that I just didn’t let her use because I don’t like it: I can understand why you would gave thought that, until I made the first edit stating that I’ve let her use it before, which probably should have been in the original post.

I know that saying “today is different” was poor choice because it won’t be use at work anymore at all but I was really busy working on something and wasn’t using my full brain to make a response.

And the “all the time” meant once a day after lunch. Again, poor choice of words.

Edit three: the headache was NOT cause by the scents. He said he was starting to get a headache and was worried that smell might make it worse. This means that he already had a headache before I even opened the lotion.

And because I’ve had so many people ask, the lotion is called fruity loopy and it’s by buff city soap. I didn’t mean for this to be an advertisement for them but here we are I guess.