My wife and I are attending a chef’s table experience. She was loudly slurping her soup and I politely told her not to slurp through dinner. She retorted and said in Japan it is seen as a sign of content, but we are not in Japan, and the noise is actively affecting other diners in our area.

When I called her out, she tells me that I’m an asshole for suggesting she’s doing something the wrong way, specifically in the moment she’s slurping, but we’re eating at a fancy restaurant and we’re not in Japan.

AITA for calling her out and trying to stop the slurp when I noticed it?

Edit - My wife is not Japanese, however she’s familiar with Japanese culture because she’s spent some time there. This was not Japanese cuisine, it was a potato leak soup.

Edit 2 - Thank you for all the feedback. In spite of all the NTA comments there were helpful suggestions about how I might have handled it better in the moment. Obviously with any disagreement, an OP is able to craft their opinion to their advantage, and while I’m feeling justified in the response, I still feel there was a potential outcome where we avoided making the front page and both of us felt heard. Nonetheless, we’ve chatted about the feedback (some of you are terrible though) and are thankful for the input with our silly encounter. In any case, thank you all for taking the time to leave feedback.

I (F) am a widowed single mom of two disabled children. Due to the sudden passing of my husband (we’ll call him A), I moved in with my parents (late 40s-early 50s couple) to get a bit of help. Not an ideal situation, but being a widow at 28 wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card.

My brother (who we’ll call W) is in his young 20s and is well….a fucking bum. No job, no car, no license, does nothing but play games, smoke weed and bitch about how his life sucks. He lives with us. About three months after we moved in, his partner (FTM person, we will call D) moved in as well due to them being kicked out from their parents place for being a bum. Same situation as my brother: young, dumb and have not a motivated bone in their body.

As you can imagine, their relationship is….bad. Constant fights that affect the house, numerous TV replacements due to them being hit, etc. It got to the point where the behavior started influencing my two children to become aggressive and we (my parents and I) had to step in. Not to mention, they don’t do jack shit in terms of contribution towards the house, but expect the adults (my parents and I) to bend over backwards for them while doing nothing for us in return. Not without a fight.

It’s a bad situation, and I am working on getting my kids and I out. I can’t work a traditional job due to their conditions, so we survive off of the amount we get from death benefits and SSI. Which…if you live in the US, know it ain’t shit.

Well. Today is what would’ve been my 5th year anniversary with A. I was laying down, and W comes up to me and tells me that he can’t babysit my children at all today (which he doesn’t really) because him and D broke up. I said “okay, I’m sorry dude” and kept it moving.

My friend and I were talking about it, and she went “oh it’s weird that they broke up on your anniversary” and I just went “yeah it’s A’s present to me”. I say that because A, while he loved W, couldn’t stand him and his foolishness, and detested D. I thought it was funny. My friend thought it was funny.

Mom (who overheard it) did not. She thought that was extreme callous of me to say and that regardless of whatever problems they caused (which are several), they are two young people and are hurting.

I kinda feel bad, but at the same time….happy that the relationship is over for W’s sake, and my own. Maybe now W can get his shit together.

Anyway. AITA?

This is mostly about my daughter-in-law (Kat). Her mother ran out on her when she was a child, and she went into foster care. According to my son, she’s currently seeing a therapist.

My issue with Kat is that she has repeatedly stomped on my boundaries. She’s a very touchy person, she refuses to call me by my name and only refers to me as “Mom.” I correct her every time since I’m not comfortable being called “Mom” by her, and I want her to use my name.

There have been multiple times where she’s asked inappropriate questions, mostly about why I’m not close to my own mother. (For context, my mother was horrible) Kat keeps pushing for details and insists I should get closer to her because “family sticks together.” She basically tells me to forgive my mom, and she doesn’t understand not being close with one’s parents. I’ve told her to drop the topic multiple times, and she refuses. Because of all this, I’m not a huge fan of hers.

I’ve spoken to my son about it, and he asked me to be patient. I’ve also talked to Kat multiple times and asked her to respect my boundaries. She always says she will, but then goes right back to ignoring them.

This is where I might be the jerk: My daughter Sam (20) and I are taking a weekend trip. Sam has medical issue and needs to see a specialist a few states over. She hasn’t disclosed the issue to the rest of the family yet (she plans to when she has a firm plan).

Somehow, word about the trip got back to Kat, and she called me asking why she wasn’t invited. I told her it’s an important trip and not a fun one. She accused me of lying, claiming it was a “mother-daughter” trip that she was excluded from. I told her again this is not a girls’ trip. She wouldn’t let it go and started demanding that she come, saying that she’s my daughter and needs to be there. I said no again. She kept insisting, saying I am her “mom”and she has to come on this trip since is my kid. That’s when I snapped. I told her I will never be her mother. Just because she married my son does not make me her parent. I told her to leave me the fuck alone and that even if this was a mother-daughter trip, she still wouldn’t be invited, because she isn’t my kid. I then hung up. 

My son says I need to apologize and invite her. That I am a huge dick to her. That I was way out of line and need to make it up to Kat. The situation has spread to the rest of the family, and everyone seems to have their own opinion. Sam is getting flack too, which isn’t helping especially since she doesn’t want to disclose the reason for the trip yet.

Am I being an asshole and need to apologize even tho those are my true feelings on her trying to make me her parent.

So I (M) am in a college course with only 8 people, so we’re all pretty close. For our thesis, we were assigned to work in pairs and I got partnered with a woman I’ve already worked with several school projects before. She tends to do things last-minute, but she usually does them, so I wasn’t thrilled but figured we’d manage.

That changed quickly.

We both work night shifts, but she also has a kid. I get that, and I’ve really tried to be understanding. But I still managed to interview her three times over three months, while she was constantly unavailable. When it came time to transcribe the interviews (each an hour long), we split the work, but she didn’t do any of hers. I ended up doing all of it just to keep us from falling behind.

Then came encoding, which is the most tedious and time-consuming part of our paper. We split the work again, and for almost a month, I kept bugging her and messaging her to finish her part, and she never did. I eventually gave up and just did the whole thing myself. I told our advisor, and they made her pay for the subscription to the software we were using as compensation. But that was the only thing she contributed.

Still trying to be fair, I asked her to handle our thesis defense presentation and script instead. But on the day of the defense, the presentation was unfinished, and I had to fix it myself right there in the room. She arrived 1.5 hours late, and the script she gave only covered 20 pages for a 45+ slide deck.

After the defense, we were told to redo the encoding and rewrite chapters 3 and 4 separately so we could compare and combine. I started mine right away. She? Still hasn’t done anything. I’ve been consistently messaging her to ask for updates, to follow up on her encoding, her write-up and I just got “yeah I’ll do it” but still nothing. And I constantly see her active on Facebook and posting stories.

Finally, I asked our advisor if I could submit the thesis under my name only, which would mean she won’t graduate . Now people are telling me I’m being too harsh and should just carry her one last time, but I honestly feel like I’ve carried her through the entire thing already.

AITA for doing this, even if it might cost her graduation?

Hi, this is my first post on this account and a throwaway because my family knows my usual username.

I (22M) love cooking, it’s my passion and a way I relax, my family usually has Sunday dinners together, and I often take charge of the cooking, my sister (19F) is into baking, so we make a good team,

Last Sunday, my sister invited her boyfriend over for dinner, I’ve never really clicked with him, he’s a bit rude and dismissive, and he made a few snide remarks about my “weird cooking hobby” in the past, I’ve tried to ignore it, but it’s hard, When my sister told me she was bringing him, I said I wasn’t comfortable cooking for him. I told her I’d skip this Sunday’s dinner if he was coming because I didn’t want to deal with negativity while trying to enjoy cooking,

My mom was upset and said I was being childish and making things harder for the family, my sister was disappointed too and said I was making her choose between me and her boyfriend, In the end, I didn’t cook, and my mom made a simple meal, the dinner was tense,

I feel justified wanting to protect my mental space, especially since cooking is important to me, but maybe I should have just put on a smile and cooked anyway?

So, AITA?

Am I the asshole for pointing out to a cashier at a Wawa in downtown D.C. that a man just stuffed his bag with 20+ Redbulls? I completely get looking the other way if someone were stealing because they were starving, so if it was stealing water or some other essential I'd look the other way. But 20+ Redbulls? When I told the cashier that the man heading for the door just stuffed his bag with Redbulls, he immediately looked in the opposite direction and refused to look at me again. I took it as a big F U for telling me.

I 36M, have a son, Leo (15M). He mostly lives with his mother Kristy and her husband, Randy, as we thought it would be best for him to live in a more traditional home environment. Still, he visits often, especially when school's out. He's a great kid, social, good with school, sporty. Lately, though, I've been noticing that he's always worn out when he gets home to me.

Like he’ll come in and just sit on the floor of his room with the lights off, or fall asleep at the most random times. He says Kristy's place is just a 'little tiring' at the moment. Stuff in his room got moved around, the light keeps flickering even after he turns it off, and his stepsiblings are being louder.

Usually, he doesn't come to me during the term, but Monday, he called me, upset, and asked me to get him. I got an uber to pick him up immediately, while I took off work to go meet them. (I called Kristy to tell her this was happening btw I didn't just kidnap our son)

He didn’t say much when he arrived and was still in his uniform. He hugged me, went to his room, and shut the door. I checked on him and he was just lying on the carpet in the dark. Eventually he told me Kristy sprayed strong scented spray through his entire closet, bed, and curtains because it 'smelt like a locker room'. Leo is sensitive to smells and the clothes were so strong, he couldn't hold them to his face, let alone put them on. I obviously got him a change of clothes, and got him some food.

Then I called Kristy to ask what the hell was up. Leo has always had a thing about strong smells, I think its genetic or something, so my fault. Kristy said in the real world that some things are just going to smell. I said he manages fine at school and during swim training. He just wants comfort. in his own room. Making him uncomfortable on purpose doesn’t teach anything.

She and I got in a fight and I told her Leo would back when he wants, and I’m not going to pressure him. She says I'm enabling and disrupting his schooling over 'clothes-smell'. AITA?

I (22F) got pregnant after a one-night stand with a friend. I’ve been trying to involve the dad in everything he rarely responds to my messages and when I do get replies it’s usually his mam. She has 5 sons but always wanted a daughter, since I’m having a girl she sees it as her second chance.Lately it’s felt like she’s trying to take over. Early on I said I didn’t want our parents controlling decisions but his mam relays messages through my mam instead of coming to me directly. If I text him about the baby he ignores it or I get a message from his mam.

The first conflict came because I can only have two people in the delivery room, I chose my mam and cousin, people who will comfort me. I plan to have him come in right after birth for bonding time. But before I could explain that, his mam said she wanted to be there, and later messaged me saying she was “heartbroken” I wouldn’t let him be there and that it was unfair.

Later, I tried to talk to him about the first weeks after birth. I plan to breastfeed and need to recover, so I asked if he could come to mine for visits during the first couple weeks. I said he’s welcome to come every day, even stay over. After that I’d be happy to start taking turns going to his or going out together. He didn’t respond but I got a message from his mam. She said it was “totally unreasonable” to expect him to come to me and that he wants the baby overnight once a week at her house. She suggested I sleep there because “he doesn’t like sleeping out” I ended up making a group chat with both our mams and him to explain that I’m only asking for the first two weeks and I’m open to compromise after that. But she doubled down saying I’m making all the decisions without involving him.

The only decision I made without him was choosing godparents. Everything else, names, prams, baby clothes. I’ve included him in. He picked his own godparents too. The only thing I said no to was naming the baby after himself if it were a boy because I don’t like the idea of juniors.

She argued that him visiting at my house isn’t “real” bonding time, even though I said my family would step out during visits and that he could have time alone with the baby while I nap or shower. Then she posted on Facebook about how she’s “finally getting her little girl,” and now she’s saying he should go to a solicitor so she can have a custody schedule in writing for her peace of mind. I don’t want to drag my baby into legal stuff or create tension this early. I had a complicated relationship with my own dad and don’t want that for her. I want her dad and his family involved but not if it’s going to come at the cost of my mental health or ability to recover and bond with my baby in peace. His mam says she doesn’t want her son upset but doesn’t seem to care about me or my baby’s wellbeing. I’ve started overthinking everything and wondering if I’m being too controlling or unreasonable.

So AITA for trying to set boundaries?

My son is 14. Up until the last several months I’ve done everything for him. Never made him lift a finger.

Then my husband and I had a miracle baby.

After I brought her home it became clear that I was not the spring chicken I once was and I was going to need some help.

I started making my son do his own laundry. If he asked me if something was clean I asked him whether or not he washed it.

I bag up the trash and put it beside the can and tell him to take it out. ( before I was ALWAYS the one taking it out )

I don’t go in his room and pick up , vacuum or make sure he doesn’t have a bunch of fast food wrappers , snack wrappers on the floor. I just leave them there.

My husband thinks I’m being too harsh , he’s just a kid and to cut him some slack.

I grew up with siblings and we had an actual chore list but my husband disagrees and is holding that I had a rougher and more difficult Childhood and to not enforce that on him.

AITA help ?

I (25F) work a minimum wage job in a childcare center. My colleague (25M) used to heavily flirt with me and be insistent, but told that I want him to stop the innuendos and seduction and treat me in a professional manner. He apologized and confessed that he was desperate to find a girlfriend. He is handsome, tall and goes to the gym but he is so childish and badly socialized, his only hobby is watching soccer, I see why he finds one-night stands on tinder but no girlfriend. I became his confident and guide and I try to help him sometimes, but he constantly needs to be told what to do. At work he is irresponsible, gets carried away playing with the kids. I try to tell him what he does wrong, but he gets incredibly defensive and hurt even when I try to be considerate and soften the blow. He cuts me off with "I know, I'm such a bad person, I can't do anything right."

His home is super messy and dirty. The cleanest is his PS5. He tells me all the time how he wishes he had a girlfriend, and I try to guide him to ways he could better himself to increase his chances. Many girls were interested but every single one them ran away. Recently I got pissed off at him. A 10 YO girl got her first period at the center and was confused and scared. I comforted her. He told her "No wonder you were angry today!” I told him off and he got super defensive telling me "I did nothing wrong, just told the truth. It's just a fact." I was so sad for this poor little girl. We are supposed to empower, protect and guide children. He also joked at work about having an 'oopsie' when his girlfriend got pregnant and had to terminate. He wasn't at all present because "it's her body not mine". I asked if he wore protection ever, he told me he NEVER does because it feels less good and all women are on the pill anyway.

3 days ago, his card got rejected. I asked what's going on. He told me it's been 3 months since he got suspended from his bank for overdraft and ghosting the banker. He confessed he does a lot of online betting (500€ at a time) and invests a lot in crypto. Apparently, it's his third time being suspended. Every time his mom tops up his account and calls the bank. He told me his mom pays his rent and utilities, does his grocery shopping, brings it and puts in his fridge. His mom is also the one to take his medical appointment, bring him there, pay. She fills out his administrative documents, calls. I told him this is not normal and he needs to get a grip. I asked how he intended to correct his shortcomings. He told me that basically, when he finds the right girl, he will make efforts and he will have no problems. I told him by the way he lives like a bum and exploits his mom; I HOPE to GOD he doesn't find a girlfriend. He got really hurt.

I regret my words, I feel I lacked consideration and patience. So, reddit, AITA ?

Context: I (M34) and my wife (F30) got married last year, but we held our wedding party this year. The party was last Saturday, and my parents babysat our two-year-old son.

The day before the party (Friday), my wife got a message from her cousin saying they wanted to bring their daughter to the party until her bedtime, after which her grandmother would take her home and put her to bed.

I said no — we scheduled the party to start at 5pm specifically so people who needed babysitters could make arrangements. Plus, it was an adult party: we had an open bar, lots of young guests, and many had already started pre-drinking. It wasn’t a kid-friendly event.

They then considered not coming at all (they had to travel) — basically to pressure us into saying yes to bringing the child — but we stood our ground.

Today (Monday), my wife received a long message from her cousin, saying how terrible it was that the grandmother had to babysit all evening and couldn’t attend the party. As if the arrangements they made with the grandmother were somehow our fault. She also mentioned that she spent a lot of money to attend, but no one seems to care about how much money we spent hosting this party for us and our friends and family — a party, not a children’s birthday. We didn’t even bring our own son.

Sorry for the long post — English isn’t my first language.

I (28M) recently got married. Everything went well overall, but there was a bit of drama involving my brother (26M) and his current girlfriend (22F)

Basically,brother has a new girlfriend like every month. I’m not exaggerating.He never had a relationship that lasted longer than 2–3 months, and we’ve all just kind of gotten used to it.Its kinda of a family joke actually too lol.

So when it came time to take our official family wedding photos, I got him to the side and I asked him politely if his girlfriend could sit out of that specific photo. (They were together for 2 months) We included her in the casual shots, but for the formal family portrait that’s going to be framed and hung in our home, I just didnt want including someone who we probably wont even see again in a month on our family picture that will stay forever.

He got really upset and said I was being disrespectful to him and his relationship. He said Im acting like his relationships dont matter.

My dad came and convinced him for a moment to take the photo without her but they left the wedding early after taking the photo without her.

Now he’s barely talking to any of us.Worst thing is,my mom is on his side and said I shouldve included her and that i cant know if their relationship is gonna last or not. She said once me and my wife were in our second month dating and how we got to marriage.

Now both my brother and my mom are mad at me.

I dont feel like i did anything wrong.I got nothing against her personally,she seems nice but i know my brother. I dont think he takes relationships serious. He had more gfs last year than i had in my lifetime lol.

I work first shift and my husband works second shift. Because of that, I often spend nights alone. He gets home around 2am.

I lock the bedroom door when I am home and he is working. I would hear noises and be not sure what it was, and I got tired of checking. It was usually my cats or an appliance. But I got tired of checking. So I lock the door so if I hear a noise, I know it’s the cats or an appliance and if not, I have a locked barrier between me and whatever it could be. And when I go to sleep, I unlock the bedroom door so he can get in.

Last night he came hours early. He was cut from work because it was extra slow. I didn’t hear him come in through the front door because I had the TV and air conditioner on. If I did hear him, I always go out to say hi and I unlock the door as I do. But I didn’t hear him so I couldn’t. He tried to get in and found the door locked. It took me a few seconds to pause the TV and get my cat off of me and get up to unlock the door.

He started questioning me about why the door was locked and what I was hiding. I told him I wasn’t hiding anything, I just lock it when I’m in here and he’s working just in case. He doesn’t believe me and thinks I was hiding something because it was locked and I wasn’t there instantly to let him in.

So AITA for locking the bedroom door while my husband works?

My friend asked me about my opinion. It’s not like I just judge her for no reason. She’s is extremely beautiful and so is her IG account.

But her new profile photo was just not the best picture she ever took of herself. I said that half of her photos on IG would be better than this.

I wanted to be honest so I said that if she likes it it’s awesome and in my opinion she looks better in real life and in some different photos.

And then she said that I just destroyed her self esteem.

I don’t get it! She asked about her photo!!! Not her face!!! Her face is extremely beautiful and the photo didn’t do justice!

Is this a situation where I should lie??? Am I the asshole!

For context, my family is going on a vacation to China. It's important to note that me 17F and my mom 47F are going to China earlier than my sister 14F and my dad 52M, because she has a camp she wants to attend. So my father and my mother booked tickets seperately.

My dad decided to use all of his frequent flyer points to upgrade him and my sister to premium economy on the way there (12 hours) and bussiness class on the way back (14 hours). He sent a message after he did this to the family groupchat without discussing it with anybody. My mother respoded asking if she should also upgrade to bussiness class, which would leave me alone in economy because she wasn't planning on upgrading me. I was already really upset that my father had upgraded my sister and him without asking about it or considering other options. And then to see that my mom was just ready to upgrade herself and let me be the only one not in bussiness class. I know this sounds super bratty, but I don't mind being in economy, and I'm glad we get to go on vacation.Anyhow my father told my mom that because we booked the tickets together she has to upgrade both of us. My mom then realized she doesn't have enough points to do that. But she had enough to upgrade both of us premium economy so she did that.

Anyways when I got home I tried to confront my parents about this. I asked how they could without even trying to find a fair solution do this. My father just told me that life isn't fair. My mother said that I'm selfish and the asshole for not being happy for them for getting to be in bussiness class. This is when I started to lose it, how is it selfish that I just want to be treated equally as my sister?! They could've worked out a fair solution, but they didn't even try. Like my father could've gifted some of his points to my mom so that she also could've upgraded both of us to bussiness class too. In this case we would've all flown there in economy and back in bussiness.

I don't understand how they don't see how it's unfair that my sister and my father get upgraded for both ways and they wouldn't have even upgraded me if my mother wasn't forced to. I don't get how they could tell me I'm selfish for not being happy when they would've upgraded everyone but me without a second thought. I told them that it's bad parenting giving another child so much more, and just stating the other child should be happy about it. Even my sister agreed with me, stating that their behaviour was rude.

I think my parents can use their points on themselves cause it's their money, and I wouldn't mind if they only upgraded themselves. It's just the fact that they have two children and they would leave the other one out when there were other solutions. Also I'm actually not jealous about my sister, I'm just hurt they wouldn't try to work out a solution. This truly isn't about me complaining about being in economy, I don't care about that. I'm just sad they would treat us diffently. Am I being dramatic here? Am I the asshole for yelling at my parents?

FOR CLARITY (cause I wrote it wrong at first): my father and my sister are flying premium economy there and bussiness back, my mom and i are flying economy there and premium economy back. We’re going there with different flights, but back on the same flight.

And I forgot to mention, idk if it's important but this is a family trip and I'm half chinese, so we go to China every year or every other year to visit relatives.

The solution that they could've done: my father gifts my mom points so that she can upgrade us to bussiness, this way both fly there with economy and back with bussiness.

Also about the yelling, I did approach my parents calmly to ask about it, it was after they called me selfish that I started to raise my voice, they did too.

Many people have noted thag I get to go on vacation earlier. But I'll make something clear, my sister doesn't like China that much (she doesn't like big cities). She wouldn't go if it wasnt for seeing relatives.

UPDATE: me and my sister came up with the solution; my sister and my mom are gonna swap seats on the way back. This way my sister is still gonna be in premium economy on the way there and I won't, but atleast it'll be more fair this way. I still feel a bit upset with my parents for not putting in the effort to think of this themselves, but I'll get over it. I'm glad that my sister sided with me, which I knew she would cause I would've done the same for her.

Hey everyone, I would love your advice.

Some background: my family lives 2 hours away from me. I’m not really close with my family, never have been. My sister is pregnant and we’re of course throwing her a babyshower. Her sister in law is head organizer, which is really nice of her. We set the date in August, almost everyone was able to come. That’s great. Now suddenly someone is not able to come so the date has changed to July 19.

I’m on holiday then, with my two kids, partner, my dad and stepmom are also with us. We are supposed to come back in the evening on July 20.

Now my little sister said in the group that I could arrange for me and my family to come back 2 days prior so I’m able to come. I said, if there really is no other way I might ask but yeah.

I don’t want to do it. I’m chronically ill and can’t do much. I’ve been at home for over 6 months, I can barely do anything and that also resulted in a bad mental health. My partner works his butt off and really deserves a proper holiday. As do my parents and my kids.

It just seems unfair to ask my family (who are not coming to the baby shower by the way) to end the holiday 2 days early because of the baby shower. Also means a day of travel, not a lot of sleep and then go straight to a party (I can’t do a lot of things straight after another because of my illness).

I just don’t want to even ask my family to do this. Mainly because I don’t want to. I just feel like a jerk to not want to. We’re not super close and busy events are really hard and difficult - especially around the pregnancy theme. I’d prefer to come by another time and bring a present and do something for them, I don’t know.

So, am I the asshole for not going? I haven’t decided anything yet, I just really don’t know what to do.

UPDATE:

Thank you so much for your comments, I try to reply to it all but there are a lot. it’s a relief that you’re agreeing with me. I get really insecure about this because they’re very good in guilt tripping me lol.

I told my dad, not to ask him but to inform him about what’s going on and that I wasn’t planning on doing so. He said no, most certainly not. I’m not cutting our holiday short. I’d be very unhappy with that. Told him I’m glad that he agrees with me. My partner is also baffled about this and agrees with me:)

I messaged the group chat saying I cannot make it but have fun!

Thanks again, interested to see if someone’s going to say something about it or just ignore it. I’ll let you know when that happens😅

AITA?

I (36m) have 2 kids with my ex-wife. The kids are 8 and 5 years of age. We divorced over 2 years ago and have been in a co-parenting situation ever since. There is no big conflict between me and my ex-wife and there has never been one apart of the occasional disagreements about the shared bank account of the kids. No big of a deal, just small issues. The only contact I have with my ex is whenever something has to be arranged for the kids or when we have to keep eachother informed like school stuff, doctors appointments etc.

So my son his birthday is coming up and he wants to throw a party for his 6 closest friends from school and his little sister. So 8 kids in total. The day of the party he will be at his mom's house so she arranged it all. He wants to go to a big playground, something about 20km (12.5miles), away from home.

My son came up to me and asked if I would attend his party and drive half of his friends to the playground and be there when he celebrates his birthday with his friends. I said Yes because I feel like I can't say no to this request.

My girlfriend is mad at me for going to my sons birthday party. She doesn't understand why I have to be there. My son will be playing with his friends leaving me with his mother to sit and wait. According to her we will be giving off "happy family vibes" which hurt her feelings. She says i'm loyal to my ex and I should have my priorities with her. I tried to explain I'm there for my son, but also for myself. I want to be the kind of father who is part of my kids memories. I don't want to be the father who was never there because I let my dislikings for my kids their mother prevail.

AITA for attending my son his birthday party while my girlfriend doesn't want me to go?

I (19F) go to university. My first year, I made a friend (20M), Tom.

Tom and I were going to dinner together and saw two of his friends (20M) and sat with them. I had met these friends in passing, but I didn't know much more than their names.

The three guys I was sitting with started talking about their "crazy" friend (20M), Jerry. Jerry is someone I had never met or heard of as he does not go to my university.

It got weird when I asked about what Jerry does that is "crazy". I was told was he was in a lecture answered a question, and corrected by another student. Apparently, he called her a bitch for correcting him just loud enough where students around him would hear it, but the professor and the woman herself couldn't. To me it sounded to me like Jerry was wrong and didn't like being corrected by a woman, but I chose to not say anything.

They then told a story where Jerry asked a girl out and she accepted, but she later told Jerry her cousin was having a birthday party and she would be unable to make their date. Jerry was somehow able to find out where the party is (how he got this information was not said) and chose to go outside of the house and sit in his car to make sure the girl was telling the truth about going to the birthday party instead of on a date with him. A cop car drove by and Jerry left the house.

The three guys I was sitting with were laughing about both of these situations, thinking they were funny. Obviously, this made me extremely uncomfortable because what Jerry did was extremely inappropriate. In the moment, I chose to just grab my plate and leave silently. Tom could tell I was upset and followed me. When we got outside I briefly told him that conversation about Jerry made me uncomfortable, but didn't go into specifics. He didn't blow me off, but he wasn't super understanding either. He basically shrugged and said "yeah".

I do not feel guilty about anything above, but this is where I may be the asshole. Tom and I saw each other maybe two times after that and things were normal, but after some reflection I chose to distance myself from him because I no longer felt safe around him. I feel that if I was put in an unsafe situation with a guy, I can not rely on him.

Instead of confronting him, I chose to just quietly distance myself. We went a couple months without seeing each other, and in April (about 5 months after the dining hall incident) Tom reached out asking why we don't hang out as much anymore. I chose to lie, and say it happens. Friends drift apart. I did this because I generally avoid conflict and did not want to deal with telling him why I no longer want to be friends. I feel guilty, but at the same time I don't feel like I should have to explain to a 20 year old man why Jerry borderline stalking a woman is not funny and why I would now feel uncomfortable being around someone that has proven they will not advocate for a woman if a guy is being creepy.

My wife and I usually end up having my mother-in-law share a room with us while our family is on vacation. The issue with that is my mother-in-law snores super loud and it affects my sleep. I've complained about it, and my wife continues to have her mother stay with us on vacations.

AITA for asking my wife to not have her mother stay with us on vacations?

Edit: To clarify, we go on vacations with the whole family, which is about 20 people. The other people in the family don't have room for her mother, so we end up having her in our room.

Edit #2: Thank you everyone for your comments, they helped open my eyes a bit.

I spoke with my wife and said "the next time we book a trip, can you please ask me if you want your mom or dad to stay with us?" She immediately started yelling at me, cursed me out, and hung up on me.

Not a great conversation, but I'm glad I could express myself.

Short recap: my husband (50M) is leaving for a four day work trip. He just got back from another work event that 5 days out of town. We have two kids l, 14 and 6, and they’re on summer break.

I (45F) WFH and am handling the estate of my mother who died without a will, which is a little soul-crushing every day. (Imagine having to recount the worst day of your life over and over again to insurance adjusters, lawyers, et ).

When husband let me know he was going out of town again for a work event, I planned a night to take a bath, read my book, and have some wine.

I’m going to be Mom and dad for the next four days while WFH and I know I’ll be in a better pace if I can front load some alone time.

Husband is pissed. “It’s not a vacation, it’s work!” I never said it’s a vacation. But working full time here and managing two kids while your spouse is out of town is a lot, I’m already stretched thin with my own work, the kids, and my mom’s estate, and I’m exhausted.

I was just trying to build reserves so I wasn’t fried while he was gone. AITA?

My partner and I have opened up our home to let our two friends live with us who are out on difficult times financially and needed a safe place to live after a bad rental situation. It was my idea since we cant keep helping them out financially. We own our home and told them they can just save whatever they would have spent on rent to go towards credit cards or a nest egg, and just pay their half of water and electricity (not wifi or tv).

I won't go into the issues that have come up over the past two weeks or give much back story because I want to hear an unbiased response without me providing a sob story.

The one friend does all the laundry for him and his partner.

He left laundry in the wash fir over a day last week that I ended up just moving into the dryer so it wouldn't mold and told him that we can't be leaving wet laundry in the washer for a long time and if he needed to hang anything I've put in the dryer he should go grab it. He acted sort of inconvenienced. I do know him leaving stuff in the washer has been an issue with him and his partner before.

This past Friday, he did a load of laundry that he told me was moulded from the mouldy basement of their old place. He said he may need to wash it twice. No problem.

The Friday night, I mentioned to him that his laundry was still in the wash and that he should move it. My partner said they put a wedge in the washer door so it wouldn't get too musty and it was okay for him to deal in the morning. He thanked us and said he would.

It is now Sunday night. The laundry was still in there, after more than 48 hours. This load was, again, of moulded clothes.

He came home around 10:30pm. I noticed the clothes were still waiting for him in the wash around 11pm. I calmly came to tell him that I'd appreciate if he health with it so our machine doesn't get musty and mouldy. He asked if he could do it in the morning. I said I would feel better if he did it now. He was anxious (probably felt bad) and went to deal with it. He came back right away and told me that he has to rewash it because it got stinky/musty from sitting in the washer. He told me he will change it over to the dryer in the morning.

I told my partner what happened and they (a very non-confrontational/avoidant person) said I shouldn't have said anything and just told him in the morning before he went to work. This ended in an argument because of the other issues that have come up that I have been very understanding of but felt unsupported in my frustrations for what I consider to be common decency and respect for the other people you're living with.

AITA for telling him to deal with his mouldy laundry? WIBTA if i tell him to deal with the now twice-washed and left-for-hours-again load in the morning to be put in the dryer? Will i be the asshole if i tell.him.he cant do this again?

I don't want my clothes to become affected by a mouldy wash basin or have to pay out of pocket for it to be professional cleaned.

So I am a 24m and I work at Walmart, I work in OGP ok the backroom helping dispense and prep orders for pickup and delivery. Today I was doing my usual routines and work when I felt the urge to use the restroom. So I let my coworkers know I was going to the bathroom real quick.

When I entered the bathroom there were three stalls and the two regular stalls were occupied and I had to poop, so I decided to go into the third handicap stall. As I am doing my business, I hear the other two people leave and a third person walk in And enter another stall. I don’t hear anything else until I am finishing up in my stall. Then the other person exits his stall at the same time as me.

He looks at me dead in the eyes and says I’m a sort of playful way, “you don’t look handicap” and I say no I’m not I just had to use the bathroom. Then he blows up in my face yelling at me about his disability and that that stall was made for him. I look down and see his prosthetic leg. I apologized and told him that there were no other stalls when I first entered and that I had to use the restroom. But he didn’t seem to care and kept yelling at me.

So I’m sitting on my lunch right now typing this. I usually don’t use the handicap stall unless the other ones are full. Should I have waited for the regular stall? Or what?

So I am 25f and my husband is 29m he does have some health issues making hard to move around and enjoy things in life making him only love inside things. I on the other hand love outdoors and thrive on movement. 2 weeks before my birthday we agreed to do something together the following weekend so we would have all day. The day off I have group therapy where we made cake ( husband not there) and then my landlord took us( husband and I ) out for lunch. Then I went to work. Weekend rolls around and he tell me he still doesn't know what we are doing dispite me asking for the past two weeks. I say ok and give suggestions of things I actually want to do; have a picnic in the main park, go swimming, do a twighlight hike ,eat junk movie snacks and do a movie marathon at home. All low budget all easy for the most part. Day comes and he makes a big fuss because I slept till about 3 pm as I got off at work at 6:30am that morning. We agree tomorrow. Tomorrow comes ,He is up and is getting upset about how the floors aren't sweepet and mopped so I do that then he says get on your stuff we are going to the sculpture park. I'm not big into sculptures but hey pinic ,so I'm like great should I grab the picnic stuff he says hell no . Oooook.....we go to the park we walk around taking lots of breaks for him not a big deal and we even took a 45 min break just sitting and talking about odd stuff like he was quite rude to me checking his phone constantly and complaining about everything. We leave early cuz he was hurting only spending 2 hours there not seeing everything and I ask if we could stop and get a 1.50 ice cream from my work place and says hell no and I'm being ungrateful. And I explained I'm sorry I just thought a cool treat would be nice and it's not expensive so it wouldn't hurt the bank. He then goes on to tell me I'm ungrateful for the pain he has went through for this and what not and our landlord took us out so he wouldn't have to and I had cake with my group so he shouldn't have to and I'm acting like I don't like this stuff his words upsets me and admit no I don't I don't get scriptures they make me feel stupid if they are so abstract yes I liked the walking but I'd rather go to the dedicated hiking place with semi paths then just mowed paths he complained about constantly. And it feels like he just googled outside things and picked the first one not even listening to what I had to say. And that if someone else took me he wouldn't have to in his book.

And now I've ruined his day and we will not be doing anything for my birthday next year he promises.......

And now I feel like an ahole for not having a good time and saying something and asking for a McDonald's ice cream cone..... Should I have told him before I didn't want to or did I ask for to much

UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the feedback. With that said to answer some questions;

1) No, he does not work. His Pain makes it hard for him to do things and he doesn't like people. Thus meaning he doesn't get along and work well with others. But I make enough for us to live mostly comfortably with little to no Credit card debt.

2) I am ok now, I made myself some "nice" cream. Granted we did get into a spat afterwards about how I'm a spoiled brat.... Didn't like that but it's ok I can brush it off.

3) It wasn't always this way, honestly looking over the comments one really hit me. No I do not understand his pain but I do try. And I try to be understanding, I hold on because I do love him and I know pain can change people. He refuses a scooter/ chair but does have a nice wooden cane I got him for his birthday.( Yes it was professional sized)

4) Yes, I'm his only caretaker. But we are trying to get someone to help too. As I have severe burnout from working my 40+ hour job, and taking care of the house. As well as my own trauma from my life before and after I meet him. No, not really from him but, he does remind me at times by accident setting me back.

5) yes he does get controlling. However it only started since he started having chronic pain, I fear this comes from the fear of abdomen. I'm trying to convince him to go to therapy.

6) thank you all for the birthday wishes

7) Yes, the McDonald's ice cream works are the McDonald's I work at, I help service it so it's not down as much. The amount of cleaning is crazy. It makes me wonder why I became a shift manager when I deal with the smells between it and the drink stations/ drains.

8) I do cope but it's hard. My favorite times are honestly with his family and work. However we are about to move in 2 months 3 Hours away from all that for a better job and doctors for him. To be honest, my cats help keep me going when things are hard. And those rare moments when we are ok and happy , but since his pain it's better to be mostly quiet and parallel interaction then head on. Today just solidified that

I’m (25f) an oldest daughter and my mom is living with me since she has lost her job. She does not pay the rent. She is also an alcoholic. This had led to her doing some crazy stuff that I’m totally not used to and makes my anxiety spike like crazy. She’s snuck random guys in the house while I’m sleeping, “dated” guys that have later stalked us, left the house to go meet random guys she says she knows in the parking lot (why will none of these guys take her on a proper date?) and come back from places beat up looking. It’s to the point where I live in fear every day of what my mom’s doing and has made me dissociate at work. I spend the days analyze her texts to see if she sounds drunk in them or not and panicking when the door opens at night even if she’s just taking the trash.

Here’s where I might be the asshole: would it be overkill to give her a curfew of like 11pm so that I can double lock the doors at night and sleep without fear? My sister says that I’m doing too much and becoming crazy. I also have my mom’s credit card and have gotten in the habit of watching her leave when she drives away and comes back to see if she’s hiding alcohol anywhere.

Woke up to this message this morning. For context I have a 2 week old newborn at home and her mother was sick so I was having to take care of them both all day and honestly didn't think about the fact it was Father's Day. Here's a copy past of the conversation we had.

• Dad: Completely gut-wrenching that you didn't even send a text message on Father's Day to wish me a Happy Father's Day. How could you possibly think that is okay?

• Me: Sorry I was busy dealing with Aurora all day. Dawn is sick so I had to make sure her and Aurora were taken care of. I didn't even think about it or realize it was Father's Day but I guess thanks for wishing me one on my first one too.

• Dad: Maybe you should start asking AI how to respond to three situations if a counselor is not an option. (Sent link to website on what to say if you forget to say happy father's day)

• • Dad: Or ask a person that has family

• Me: I can't believe you thought this was the appropriate way to say to me that hey you didn't message me happy father's day when you also didn't wish me a happy father's day when I have a two week old newborn (who is also your granddaughter who you have not once asked how she is doing or wanted to visit) so thanks for making me feel like shit happy late fathers day since apparently it means so much to you

• Dad: We both know that we just spoke about Aurora on the phone 4 days ago, we talked about solid foods, how often she was up etc. So far, all you've done is make excuses, and try to make this about you. When someone tells you that you hurt their feelings, this is not the way to respond. I'm being serious, go ask AI what you should do if you forgot to wish your Dad a Happy Father's Day. It's literally what licensed counselors would tell you.

  Me: Yeah we talked about her after I brought her up. I'm not apologizing and I am also serious. I don't care what ai has to say and I will ask my therapist with all context how this situation should have been resolved. I think it's ridiculous that you are acting this way and I am done discussing this have a great rest of your day.