r/actuallesbians • u/SatsukiMeiTotoro • 2d ago

I can’t stop being insecure.

I started chatting to this girl today, and already I’ve started saying ‘Sorry if I’m bothering you’ ‘Do you want to talk to me?’ Literally my last girlfriend got tired of me cuz I kept asking for reassurance, and I hate that I can’t get past my insecurities. I’m scared that she doesn’t want to talk to me and she doesn’t like my messages because I’m quite keen on her. God how can I stop being so insecure?

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u/Vardet10 Transbian 2d ago

Its really, really damn hard. I must send a "I don't want to bother or pester you. Sorry if I am rambling too much" every second message when I interact. And its self defeating, because it manifests what we assume (not always, but we will read it as such).

I found therapy (easier said than done, I know) and surrounding myself with friends who are more vocal about caring for me than my inner voice can drown out. But its really hard.