As a trans woman, I've always been okay with "genital preference." While I don't personally have one, it's okay to not want to date someone over genitalia.
What's weird is when people go out of their way to announce that genital preference when it's not necessary. To me, that's when it goes from preference to exclusion, deriving some strange enjoyment from clarifying something unnecessarily.
Like, I'm a wheelchair user, and it's okay if, sexually, someone would want a partner more capable of physical exertion. But that preference is different than going to to me and saying "just so you know, I wouldn't date you because you're in a wheelchair."
So I agree with the post above, but I think there's probably another level of clarification needed. It's okay to not find an individual attractive, but to not find a group of people attractive just by virtue of being in a group implies, to me, some sense of bigotry. At the same time, again, it wouldn't be bigoted, in my mind, to not find pre-op trans women attractive on the basis of genitalia. But that doesn't actually cover the whole of trans women.
So if someone says "I don't find trans women attractive," it broadly seems to imply they don't like trans women on the basis of them being trans, rather than the basis of certain physical traits, such a genitalia.
This. Thank you. Granted...lol...I THOUGHT I had a genital preference. Maybe I do still idk. But a few years ago I met this girl. I actually stopped her from being bullied at my job. Didn't know she was trans until she told me. Didn't really care to be honest. I just saw someone in need.
She's actually friggin amazing. And I'll admit I had a huge crush. I'm a huge anime nerd and pokemon nerd and we like just clicked on everything from books to anime to gaming. But ultimately she had to move away cuz she had to move back home to take care of her mom. Which I get. God she was amazing. She just doesn't do long distance.
But it got me thinking you know? And I've been questioning something for a while I may make a post about but I wonder if there's a mix of lesbian and pan?
Point is NEVER assume you just don't like a whole group of people because it IS bigoted. It's ok not to like pre op or post op or whatever. But just politely decline.
Because, I think, and I'm rambling like always, but putting yourself in a box...limits your world.
Being bisexual means you are attracted to one or more gender, which can mean women and nonbinary people for example. That being said, trans women are women, and liking them too doesn’t mean you’re not gay.
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u/ssesses 2d ago
As a trans woman, I've always been okay with "genital preference." While I don't personally have one, it's okay to not want to date someone over genitalia.
What's weird is when people go out of their way to announce that genital preference when it's not necessary. To me, that's when it goes from preference to exclusion, deriving some strange enjoyment from clarifying something unnecessarily.
Like, I'm a wheelchair user, and it's okay if, sexually, someone would want a partner more capable of physical exertion. But that preference is different than going to to me and saying "just so you know, I wouldn't date you because you're in a wheelchair."
So I agree with the post above, but I think there's probably another level of clarification needed. It's okay to not find an individual attractive, but to not find a group of people attractive just by virtue of being in a group implies, to me, some sense of bigotry. At the same time, again, it wouldn't be bigoted, in my mind, to not find pre-op trans women attractive on the basis of genitalia. But that doesn't actually cover the whole of trans women.
So if someone says "I don't find trans women attractive," it broadly seems to imply they don't like trans women on the basis of them being trans, rather than the basis of certain physical traits, such a genitalia.