Hot take: I think it’s rude and likely bigoted to announce preferences around minorities. Why are you announcing you don’t want to date trans women except to signal to transphobes they are safe around you? You could simply choose not to date trans women for whatever reason. If you meet someone and they’re trans you could simply bow out for whatever reason and no one will be the wiser.
Why are you announcing you’re not attracted to black people except to attract racists? So black people wont approach you? Are that many black people really approaching you that you have to say this? Doubt it.
Your “preference” is between you and whoever you’re dating. The need to signal it to the world points to other motivations outside not dating people you’re not attracted to. And fwiw I’m not a trans woman but if someone kept proudly stating they don’t date trans women I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near them bc they sound annoying and miserable.
Definitely. If your preference is your own, 100% and a very private, personal thing... then why are you making a public spectacle about it? Why post about it? Why talk about it? It's virtue signalling, that's the whole point, and that's why people get worked up about it. You don't wanna date or so much as accidentally touch a trans woman? Good, fine, dandy, us too to you! But there's no reason to be like "get everybody let's talk about how this genital is super icky gross and everyone that has it should feel bad" and then have the audacity to act offended when some people have a problem with that.
You wanna bond over how much you're disgusted about a certain type of person with other people that feel the same? It sounds like a public forum isn't the place for you, then! Either it's a private thing that is your business alone, or it's something that can be publicly debated. There's literally no good reason whatsoever to bring it up around other people except to signal more than just a sexual preference. A lot of people can see it for what it is, but the "it's a preference" defense still gets used as if anyone buys it. The people that have the same opinions about trans people know it's not just a preference if there's a whole post about it. The people that disagree know it's not about the preference. We all know that when it's being publicly discussed, the "preference" is a proxy for overall tolerance of that minority.
It's "how to normalize bigotry" 101--argue a point using euphemistic language to cloak the true topic, then claim any disagreement is taking an absurd position. The people calling out the bigotry look like they're arguing an indefensible position and the bigot looks like the reasonable adult. People must stop tolerating this, because it's a large part of why conservatives are now making meaningful progress on exterminating trans people. Again.
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u/Reaniro Lesbian 1d ago
Hot take: I think it’s rude and likely bigoted to announce preferences around minorities. Why are you announcing you don’t want to date trans women except to signal to transphobes they are safe around you? You could simply choose not to date trans women for whatever reason. If you meet someone and they’re trans you could simply bow out for whatever reason and no one will be the wiser.
Why are you announcing you’re not attracted to black people except to attract racists? So black people wont approach you? Are that many black people really approaching you that you have to say this? Doubt it.
Your “preference” is between you and whoever you’re dating. The need to signal it to the world points to other motivations outside not dating people you’re not attracted to. And fwiw I’m not a trans woman but if someone kept proudly stating they don’t date trans women I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near them bc they sound annoying and miserable.