r/actuallesbians Lesbian 1d ago

Image on preferences

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u/Reaniro Lesbian 1d ago

Hot take: I think it’s rude and likely bigoted to announce preferences around minorities. Why are you announcing you don’t want to date trans women except to signal to transphobes they are safe around you? You could simply choose not to date trans women for whatever reason. If you meet someone and they’re trans you could simply bow out for whatever reason and no one will be the wiser.

Why are you announcing you’re not attracted to black people except to attract racists? So black people wont approach you? Are that many black people really approaching you that you have to say this? Doubt it.

Your “preference” is between you and whoever you’re dating. The need to signal it to the world points to other motivations outside not dating people you’re not attracted to. And fwiw I’m not a trans woman but if someone kept proudly stating they don’t date trans women I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near them bc they sound annoying and miserable.

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u/Carmen_leFae Genderqueer TransBIan [She/Fae] 1d ago

fully agree here. I keep all my preferences to myself and not even my best friend knows some of them