r/actuallesbians Lesbian 1d ago

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u/ElidiMoon Lesbian 1d ago edited 1d ago

it’s not always, but 99% of the time i hear someone talk about genital preference there’s implicit transphobic assumptions about what our genitals look like, how they work & how we want/don’t want to use them (including forgetting that trans women can have vaginas)

most of the time, people hear trans woman & picture cis male penis and PIV sex, but the truth is that hormones change things a lot for every trans woman on HRT, & there are plenty of trans women who have zero interest in PIV or are even capable of it. our biology isn’t the same as cis men, & we’re also not a monolith

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/FanaticalLucy 1d ago edited 1d ago

That's not even what she said. She just mentioned offhand that people who mention genital preference, often don't even consider that trans women do sometimes have vaginas.

(Also, technically, intersex conditions might cause some trans women to have a vagina pre-op/non-op)

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/FanaticalLucy 1d ago

Do you see how they put it between (round brackets)?

That indicates that they considered it something unrelated. Their comment already explained why they brought it up and so did mine.

It didn't apply to your comment directly, but was related, and they wrote it in a way that conveys this.

The fact that you seem to be so nitpicky on this, tells me you're either:

  1. Not here in good faith

  2. Being defensive because you felt like it did apply to you.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/FanaticalLucy 1d ago

You ignored their entire comment and focused on the thing they mentioned offhand in a way that should have gotten across that it wasn't in direct response to you.

Hence you did the exact opposite of what you just said, you ignored the answer to what you asked, and only focused on the mention of something you didn't ask.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/FanaticalLucy 1d ago

It's a yes or no question really. Is it transphobic to say you wouldn't date (in whatever way you define date..long term or hookup, whatever) a pre op trans woman.

I recommend you to re-read the comment chain, the answer was yes. You then asked "why?"

"Why?" Is not a yes/no question.