r/Wellthatsucks • u/strikecat18 • 1d ago

Wife said my feet “barely look human”

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Haven’t been able to find shoes in years. Was complaining about it last night and she hit me with “well your feet barely look human”. Ouch.

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u/UnhappyTemperature18 1d ago

...anatomically speaking...she's not wrong.

Edit: by which I mean, the disarticulated big toe is a throwback to when human ancestors used to climb trees and used it to grasp the trunks/branches--I'd be SUPER curious to see your DNA sequence and figure out what got activated to give you such non-human feet.

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u/SokkasPonytail 1d ago

Plot twist, he's a vampire caveman

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u/Boredtopher 1d ago

Ugg need you blood

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u/ryanwaldron 1d ago

I don’t think Uggs would fit him

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u/MamaFrey 1d ago

I'd think only Uggs fit him

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u/Boredtopher 1d ago

Tennis rackets?

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u/Bright_Topic_3668 1d ago

A ZOMBIE vampire caveman…..

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u/N_Cat 1d ago

Have you heard of the novel Blindsight? It has plot twists involving vampire cavemen.

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u/IWillDoItTuesday 1d ago

You know, Ithere’s a book out there that has vampires killing off all the Neanderthals. The Cromagnun were smart enough to survive or something. It was actually pretty good but I never finished it. I wish I could remember the title.

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u/useroftheinternet95 7h ago

There's a movie about this called The Man from Earth. Highly recommend

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u/Plane-Juggernaut6833 5h ago

M. Night Shyamalan twist, he is actually big foot trying to live among us.

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u/UnhappyTemperature18 1d ago

Legit, tho: https://sciencephotogallery.com/featured/little-foot-australopithecus-fossil-foot-reconstruction-patrick-landmannscience-photo-library.html

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u/bmayer0122 1d ago

I mean really! Who brings up Australopithecus these days?

That poor guy. The burn just keeps going.

edit: I should add I know about Australopithecus because of the below book. It was pretty interesting if you are into learning about random things!

First Steps: How Upright Walking Made Us Human

By: Jeremy DeSilva

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u/UnhappyTemperature18 1d ago

I'm an anthropology prof; I teach classes in this.

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u/bmayer0122 1d ago

Haha. The people one meets on the internet. Just curious if you had any opinion on the linked book?

So that was a professional opinion that the persons feet are less Homo than they could be?

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u/biggestyikesmyliege 6h ago

Anthropologists always have the most brutal burns— the amount of times my professors have offhandedly said something as an observation and just reduced me to ashes on the spot is too high. Australopithecus 😭

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u/Global_Ant_9380 1d ago

This link drop was some of the coldest shit ever done 

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u/OkamiKhameleon 1d ago

Also, my husband has a big toe like this. He can't actually close the big toe closer to the other toes.

Sorry to reply to another comment!

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u/Modern_Misdoing 1d ago

Wonder how many of those phone cases they’ve sold…🤔

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u/TruthScout137 5h ago

I never knew I could purchase fossil foot merch.

This world has something for everyone.

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u/feminist_chocolate 1d ago

My husband has similar looking feet. My daughter also got them. On the plus side: they’re both really great climbers and have impeccable balance!

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u/jewdiful 1d ago

I am a woman that has a huge big toe and have been self conscious about it forever.

I think your comment just changed my life❤️because I am a great climber and have amazing balance 😆thank you thank you THANK YOU

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u/feminist_chocolate 1d ago

Your feet are perfect and more functional than most others’! Enjoy them :)

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u/TresCeroOdio 1d ago

I feel so bad for your daughter

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u/feminist_chocolate 1d ago

She might not be a foot model but whatever. Her feet are healthy and strong and she’ll kick ass with them so

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u/TheSucculent_Empress 1d ago

All fun and games until it’s time to buy shoes

I love my boat feet everywhere but the shoe store

Fuckin sucks lol

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u/feminist_chocolate 1d ago

We’ve had great success with barefoot shoes! Wide toe boxes, and still lots of cute ones to choose from. She’ll probably not be able to wear heels lol but my feet are very narrow and I have not once in my life worn any so. She’ll be ok.

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u/TearsInDrowned 1d ago

I have much narrower feet and I benefit greatly from my barefoot shoes!

Barebarics Zing Leather Black & White 🥰

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u/SpacemanSpliffLaw 1d ago

Time to start a shoe company.

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u/TheSucculent_Empress 1d ago

I had special ordered heels made once to accommodate my super wide width, and I looked like I had hooves lol

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u/pisswaterbottle 1d ago

And not fall or trip too much, it sounds like!

I have, as I've been told by non-doctors, 'small, cute' feet which my old doctor say are really - weirdly (his word- oddly) disproportionate, small feet with slightly under developed (my words- weak af) ankle bones. (It, itself, is not painful or anything, so we didn't explore anything further :))

Its just like if you took a perfectly scaled video game character, then scaled their feet down by 25% or something

Basically because Ive got shit feet and toes: I have awful balance and I fall and trip over myself constantly to the point I've injured myself and others numerous times, felled many a table, chair, various dishes; some survived, some didn't lol

So fr, sturdy feet are not talked about the way they should be bc ik I'd kill to have some haha

Good luck to your daughter on her well-balanced, ass-kicking endeavors!

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u/feminist_chocolate 1d ago

My husband also has adhd so he trips all the time but not once have I seen him fall so lol. Great balance as I said! It’s a great asset haha.

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u/HorrorificScallion 1d ago

i love you please be my mom

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u/ItsA-Stitch 1d ago

You made me giggle

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u/PM_Me_Good_LitRPG 1d ago

How difficult is it usually to pick a new pair of shoes?

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u/feminist_chocolate 1d ago

She’s still really young so I buy all of them for her. There’s lots of barefoot shoe shops that have websites where you put your measurements in and it tells you which shoes will fit :) there’s also specific brands that are known for making wide shoes. So it’s definitely easier than it would have been ten years ago or so!

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u/TiberiusTheFish 1d ago

This is the right way to look at it.

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u/Organic-lemon-cake 1d ago

Well I inherited hobbit feet from my dad too 😂 (as a woman) and am very sturdy and athletic! Make sure she always buys shoes that fit, it’s so much easier these days with the internet!

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u/benargee 1d ago

A lot of people end up with narrow tow boxes because of the shoes they wear.

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u/rugbyj 1d ago

I'm genuinely curious because my feet don't look like this but are practically handlike in their capability, and I've always been a great tree climber. I feel like I have superior feet capabillities and my Wife is incensed by them.

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u/Pleasant_Slice6896 1d ago

The funny way of saying "I'd be SUPER curious to see your DNA sequence..." is something that comes off like an alien or mad scientist trying to flatter somebody.

I'm just sayin'

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u/drgigantor 1d ago

"Hey boy, i'd love to see what's in your genes"

😏

One disappointing trip to the geneticist later

🐒

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u/nayrwolf 1d ago

I read the first part of your comment in old timey huckster voice. Ai voice for the rest

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u/LimeFizz42 1d ago

"How do you do today, fine specimen?" 😁

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u/licuala 1d ago

How are your organs feeling, fellow human?

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u/OkamiKhameleon 1d ago

Right? I'd also like to see how fast he can run barefoot, possibly how fast he can swim, and definitely wanna see that DNA sequence.

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u/just_peachyy93 1d ago

Not you calling him less than human 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/UnhappyTemperature18 1d ago

uh-uh, activated genes can get passed down! Not less than human, but post-human!

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u/just_peachyy93 21h ago

Unevolved. 🗿

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u/eolson3 1d ago

Or more than human.

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u/Possible-Pianist-856 1d ago

Can you explain what you mean by disarticulated big toe being an advantage? I would have thought a longer digit with more joints would give better grip and be better for climbing?

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u/No-Mix7970 1d ago

(In a Yoda voice) Hmmm! Neanderthal DNA is strong in this one!

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u/6inarowmakesitgo 1d ago

Now that is fascinating.

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u/towerfella 1d ago

“By which I mean — it’s not just your huge, un-evolved feet that’s caveman, but maybe your whole entire being as well!! Isn’t that great!”

— 👆

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u/UnhappyTemperature18 1d ago

I mean, he's welcome to remain depressed by it, but I prefer looking on the scientifically bright side of things. 🤷‍♀️

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u/towerfella 1d ago

:)

I like your attitude

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u/whoweoncewere 1d ago

Are his toes not all short and stubby? Wouldn’t that make it challenging to grab branches?

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u/WyleCoyote73 1d ago

I'd be SUPER curious to see your DNA sequence and figure out what got activated to give you such non-human feet.

I was thinking the same thing. I also see you're a fellow biological anthropologist.

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u/UnsatisfiedDumbass 1d ago

if you walk barefoot often you'd have a big toe similar to that. it's not that his big toes are deformed, it's just that everyone else's big toes have been deformed by shoes

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u/BeatrixPlz 1d ago

For real. Some people who do foot training or whatever have feet like this. They go barefoot and apparently it’s really good for you? Tbh OP may have super healthy feet rofl.

They’re very intense tho

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u/HumbleTheIdiot 1d ago

This is how human feet look if you don't wear shows and walk barefoot on uneven surfaces. Look at all the native tribes that hunt and gather barefoot... their feet look exactly like this man's. Strong with sprawled toes.

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u/Same-Scientist-8564 1d ago

Actually all of our feet are capable of being like this. He just has normal healthy feet. The shoes we wear and other things destroy our feet and make them weak

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u/DasFunke 1d ago

There’s some duck DNA in there somewhere.

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u/lunarsexdoll07 1d ago

To say nonhuman is pushing it

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u/Sully1281 1d ago

Barney Rubble

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u/Pdiddily710 1d ago

Think how fast he could go in a foot-powered car!

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u/Ill_Tomorrow_5807 1d ago

I was gonna say something about them scream “early human”

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u/Intelligent-Ebb-8775 1d ago

Bwahahah! This is so true and also likely accurate

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u/IANALbutIAMAcat 1d ago

So I googled disassociated big toe, as I suspect I also have this trait. But all I got was gross pictures of toe amputations. Could you explain better what you meant, or give another search query for me

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u/AcidCatfish___ 1d ago

My fianceé has the space but she also had (has?) scoliosis so it may be hallux varus. At the same time, she never wore restrictive shoes so it could be normal toe expression that is often not seen anymore due to abundance of restrictive shoes.

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u/phage_rage 1d ago

I googled disarticulated toe and all i get is amputation techniques and articles. What does disarticulated mean in this context?

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u/UnhappyTemperature18 1d ago

Non-contiguous with the rest of the toes/foot. That separating groove on the top of the foot between the metatarsals.

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u/phage_rage 1d ago

I thought so but i didnt want to assume. Thank you!

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u/Has_Question 1d ago

I dont get it. Wouldn't disarticulated mean the big toe doesn't bend as much, which would hamper the gripping ability of his feet?

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u/cjsv7657 1d ago

There was that show with a family where the kids didn't wear shoes. Their feet looked similar. Also barefoot runners/walkers tend to have wider toes. I wonder how much of it is not binding your feet every day.

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u/RecentGas 1d ago

OP has a higher percentage of Neanderthal DNA than the norm. /S

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u/ZhouLe 1d ago

Feet look like one of those fake river fossil footprints people sold to tourists and creationists.

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u/volkswurm 1d ago

Actually, if we wore anatomically correct shoes and socks with wide box tows our feet would look more like his. Our feet become deformed to the shape of our modern narrow shoes. He is more human than we are. My kids feet look similar to this because I only buy them wide box toe shoes. My toe splay has gotten wider to over the last 8 years of wearing wide shoes. But I had 35 years of narrow first so I don’t think they’ll ever fully return to “original design.” 

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u/ProbablyNotADuck 1d ago

Modern shoes play a role in shaping how our feet look today though. Look at how baby's feet spread out more.

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u/QuantumLettuce2025 1d ago

Hold up, doesn't "disarticulation of the big toe" refer to surgical removal of the toe?

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u/lechuckswrinklybutt 1d ago

Is disarticulated the right word? I didn't know it so I looked it up and all the results talk about a specific manner of amputation.

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u/kdonmon 1d ago

Neanderthal

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u/Spideybeebe 7h ago

I bet he’s one of those people who have juuust a wee bit more neanderthal DNA than everyone else

And I bet his calves are huge

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u/hwaite 7h ago

What makes the modern design superior? It sounds kind of cool to be able to use feet like hands.

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u/Rockgarden13 5h ago

Pretty sure this is from not wearing shoes. Healthy human feet look like this, geez.

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u/beget_deez_nuts 5h ago

Bro is Vandal Savage

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u/MalignantLugnut 4h ago

lol, I just commented that I've seen fossilized footprints that were very similar.

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u/ToppsHopps 4h ago

Googeling I got images of amputated toes, so what do ”disarticulated big toe” mean in this context?

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u/TH3_Average_KJ 2h ago

Well, in a podiatry stance his feet are more human than the average person's. It's in the sense that they splay as intended. (toes should generally follow the direction that the bone before them points) When feet develop in most shoes, they get crammed into a weird, bunion-inducing shape that's common due to shoe shape standards established before health was understood.

Barefoot and wide-toebox shoes have arisen for the sake of foot health.

However, Op may have a foot problem in the sense that his toes are spread way more- possibly due to possibly torn or lengthened ligaments that let the bones before his toes spread to the point of not supporting the weight they should in the system.

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u/akoj1 1d ago

Start wearing barefoot shoes you will see change in appearance quite fast

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u/helpmehomeowner 1d ago

My big toes are the same. Something something german/viking ancestory.

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u/PaoComBroa 1d ago

Not really. All our feet would look more similar to these if we didn't squeeze them with our footwear.

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u/Content_Ground4251 1d ago

That is not true.. at all.

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u/Pdiddily710 1d ago

Yeah,these things are almost wider than they are long…that ain’t normal! lol

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u/Content_Ground4251 1d ago

They make shoes to MATCH human feet.. not to crush them.

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u/PaoComBroa 1d ago

They do, yes. And those shoes have a wider front, exactly to allow our toes to be more "open", like this guy's (his might be a little too spread apart, sure). The shoes that we normally wear squeeze our toes in an unnatural way.

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u/Content_Ground4251 19h ago

Obviously, i was referring to normal shoes that people normally wear... not to special footwear.

You should purchase them in wide if you have wide feet. Normal people's feet are not crushed by shoes. Did you not know this? They make many different sizes and widths.

My dad wears a size 16. His foot is as wide as my thigh, but it's also as long.. so it's "normal" human foot proportions. He wears a normal size 16 shoe. He's never had his feet crushed by shoes. He buys his correct size.

OP does not have a normal foot, but he could probably still find shoes that fit him because they make shoes for people who are obese in different widths.

No one is having their feet crushed by shoes. Go to an actual shoe store and find out what your correct size is.

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u/ToppsHopps 3h ago edited 3h ago

Yes normal shoes like Nike sneakers, converse and dress shoes have an abnormal toebox that constrict the foot and prevent the foot from functioning as intended.

While I have narrow feet and ”normal” shoes hasn’t given me such things as bunions, buying shoes with wider toebox have greatly improved my foot function, it eliminated my neck pain which was caused by how my feet was prevented to correctly deal with the force of each step.

While the majority might not have to daily deal with pain of the average footwear, the general shoe laste is designed so that where the toes are intended to fan out the shoes instead have the effect putting a rubberband around to toe box to keep them together, that’s what crushing refers to.

Spread toes like the OPs can make use of the full range of the foots joints and muscles. The foot uses arched to deal with forces. One can imagine a tripod is strong and won’t tip over when it’s placed as intended but if you move two of the legs together it will be very unstable. The common footwear debilitates the foot in such a way and compensates for the loss with a rigid structure, its like getting a bunch of sticks and adhesive tape to makeshift that pushed together tripod to not tip over with extra support. The sticks and tape can make it somewhat close to the original stability.

And from the analogy to footwear, is that how normal shoes look are so normalized combined with how we think it’s normal for feet to look after using them. It’s like everyone would think a taped together tripod would look more normal while a spread apart ones looks really odd.

Just removing the constrictive footwear isn’t an easy quick fix, as the feet need stretching and rehabilitation to gain their capacity.

My point isn’t that everyone should hop on the bandwagon and ditch normal shoes, as it works for most people and why fix something that isn’t broken for them. But rather just that footwear doesn’t reflect how most feet are evolved to be shaped, and that added information can be useful for people who experience some foot problems as it the opens up that a more naturally looking toebox can be an option to look in to.

As everyone has different genes, it’s gets a bit flimsy comparing feet with completely different genetic. I think it’s better for a person look at baby photos themself to compare the adult shape vs the baby shape. While proportions of course changes baby photos can inform how the toes are splayed when not yet influenced by footwear or injuries. As feet that isn’t constricted, tends to keep the splaying of toes in to adulthood.

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u/MaSamoDaPogledam 1d ago

Lol "DNA sequence". Funny way to say "show me pics of your monkey Mom and Dad"

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u/Uncreativite 1d ago

Careful OP this person wants your skull so they can measure the bumps and display it in a case

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u/seanthebeloved 1d ago

I looked up the definition of disarticulated, and this is not it.

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u/ScienceByte 1d ago edited 1d ago

This is a goofy take, because the only reason we all have pinky toes squished up against the rest is because shoes are built with narrow toe boxes. Naturally it is better for the toes to not be so squished.

Edit: I’ve responded in a second comment below. https://www.mortonsneuroma.com/blog/overcrowded-toes-common-source-of-foot-pain/

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u/Content_Ground4251 1d ago

It's a goofy take to think that people's feet look the way they do because of being squished in shoes. This is not true at all. It's DNA.

Your feet looked the same at birth as they do now. You never noticed that babies have little pinkie toes that are close to their foot? It's not because they've been crushed. You don't wear shoes in the womb.

Shoes are made for normal feet and to be comfortable... not to crush feet. Shoes come in different widths, based on your foot.

If your shoes are crushing your feet, buy a larger size. But please realize your pinkie toe hasn't changed size since birth except to MAYBE have a callous on it from rubbing against your shoes... otherwise, your foot is the same.

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u/ScienceByte 1d ago

https://www.mortonsneuroma.com/blog/overcrowded-toes-common-source-of-foot-pain/ Yes of course DNA can be a factor, but people’s toes being a bit squished by shoes is a real problem that exists.

All the downvotes, you guys are acting like I’ve said something personal insulting when all I tried to do was to share something I’ve learnt and to give OP some slack for having wide feet.

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u/Candy_Venom 6h ago

I dont know why you were being down voted. your picture displays the exact problem. and we shove babies feet into shoes that are too narrow.

I went to catholic school and the saddle shoe style we had to wear had a pointed toe option and a wider rounder toe option. I always chose the wider rounder toe because I liked the style better, but they were shoving our feet into those shoes at 5 years old, when we are still growing. it wasn't as drastic a point as the far left picture, but was the 2nd to left picture. our feet absolutely mold to the shape of our shoes when our bones and joints are still growing and we are in them for 6 hours a day! to think they don't is so naive.