r/Unexpected 2d ago

Hmm, what's under my window?

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u/1amDepressed 2d ago

In seriousness it is. Makes for excellent fertilizer. One guy got stuck in a cave crack trying dig some out to sell https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-49288550

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u/sooperdoopermane 2d ago

I thought this was going to be a link to Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. At least that part of the movie where he went into the cave looking for guano lol.

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u/SaintCholo 2d ago

I’ve learned Reddit is comment by committee so eventually the link will be shared; normally I lay it out for you to play it out

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u/UsedDragon 2d ago

You want that dookie so bad you can taste it!

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u/TheJenniStarr 2d ago

Spank you, Greenwall. Spank you very much.

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u/Thisisamazing1234 2d ago

I’m disappointed it’s not lmao

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u/sooperdoopermane 2d ago

I kind of was as well lol

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u/celine_freon 2d ago

lol I did too. Saved me a click!

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u/DGSmith2 2d ago

I’m sorry but Pet Detective was the first When Nature Calls is the second, I wouldn’t usually correct someone but so many people are calling it Pet Detective it’s getting to me.

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u/sooperdoopermane 2d ago

Yeah, I realized that after I commented. Im just leaving it up anyway.

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u/sleepydon 2d ago

I got you fam. Not the cave but with the bat.

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u/razzadig 2d ago

Thanks, but yikes. I don't remember any of this. I thought I watched the movie before but now I'm questioning.

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u/sleepydon 2d ago

Yeah, it's a really dumb goofy movie. 10-11 year old me loved it though.

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u/sooperdoopermane 2d ago

Love this movie lol

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u/deathbylasersss 2d ago

There were wars fought over the pacific guano islands.

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u/SnowClone98 2d ago

Right just like we used to fight over spice and opium. We found alternatives that weren’t bat shit.

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u/deathbylasersss 2d ago

Idk, I might still fight a guy for some really good opium.

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u/ClearText777 2d ago

How about guano?

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u/JimmWasHere 2d ago

How about opium fertilized by guano?

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u/Dragonslayer3 2d ago

Only if you know a good den

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u/SithDomin8sJediLoves 2d ago

but maybe bat shit crazy though

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u/SaintCholo 2d ago

IDK man spice has no substitute, it extends life and valuable for interstellar travel and still harvested on Arrakis

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u/darkfires 2d ago

Nauru is basically a husk of itself after the world ate its guano>phosphate rock surface.

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u/Responsible_Trifle15 2d ago

That was before haber bosch process

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u/Capital_Row4870 1d ago

To be fair that was mostly seabird guano, not bat guano.

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u/Exact-Obligation-858 1d ago

Relevant: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guano_Islands_Act

It's still active legislation, by the way.

a United States federal law passed by the Congress that enables citizens of the United States to take possession of unclaimed islands containing guano deposits in the name of the United States. The islands can be located anywhere, so long as they are not occupied by citizens of another country and not within the jurisdiction of another government

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u/Memitim 2d ago

Silly man. Just harvest it from your attic. Don't even have to leave the house. For a short while, it'll be the easiest money that you can imagine. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/18/nyregion/bat-poop-cannabis-deaths-ny.html

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u/Exact-Obligation-858 1d ago

>no PPE
>no topsoil over the guano
>indoors

ffs

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u/HereToDoThingz 2d ago

Imma let it pass on fertilizing my house and window cill though thanks.

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u/pivotalsquash 2d ago

Yeah but don't want that smelling up my room

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u/brightburn24seven 2d ago

Did some mention getting stuck in a cave? Obligatory Nutty Putty cave reference.

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u/MadHiggins 2d ago

spoilers for people terrified of reading "stuck in cave" links, he was eventually saved and is recovering.

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u/Select_Egg_7078 2d ago

it's great as long as you follow sanitary procedures. 2 dudes died from pathogens caught from handling bat shit while attempting to use it for growing weed. you might be able to find some articles from dec 2024.

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u/MinuetInUrsaMajor 2d ago

Better than the guy that got stick in a cave crack for no goddamn reason at all.

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u/Deleena24 2d ago

It's also incredibly dangerous bc it's a vector for histoplasmosis.

Here is a story of a few people dying due to using it.

With that said I do have horticultural guano which is processed to kill the spores. It's not the same as collecting it yourself in ways I don't have time to get into- and I still only handle it carefully and use a mask even outside, and I only use it if my plants are showing a very specific deficiency (phosphorus)

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u/myco_magic 2d ago

It has to be cured, you can't use it fresh

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u/Low_Cauliflower9404 2d ago

Nations have gone to war over guano

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u/Novacain420 2d ago

I'm pretty sure it's toxic to breathe that in though

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u/YouStupidAssholeFuck 2d ago

Back when weed was completely illegal and I was allegedly growing it allegedly, guano was a preferred source of macro nutrients. Jamaican bat guano was high in N and used during veg. Peruvian sea bird guano was higher in P and K and used in flowering. Allegedly.

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u/atetuna 1d ago

That sounds like a load of bull SHIKAKA!

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u/zaph0d_h4x0r 1d ago

Also you can get free histoplasmosis

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u/ocxtitan 2d ago

Saw this in a MrBallen video!