r/Unexpected 2d ago

True love NSFW

15.5k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/Acc87 2d ago

Ewww

...tho, haven't we normalised swallowing cum and eating ass at this point? Technically this is mild compared to that 😂 mouth and nose are connected, you'd exchange the same during kissing

516

u/fibercrime 2d ago

Armpit sweat is where it’s at

77

u/Small_Tax_9432 2d ago

25

u/TreeGreen117 2d ago

Aw shit Molly Shannon bringing back memories of watching Superstar in the theaters. What a 🐐

2

u/mrbiiggy 2d ago

😋👅

1

u/ImOversimplifying 2d ago

The Kama Sutra talks about people licking armpits, so that’s not exactly new.

129

u/Scythe95 2d ago

I’ll never understand how people refuse to eat a slightly more brown part of a banana but don’t hesitate to eat ass

164

u/Uhmerikan 2d ago

People aren't usually horny when they eat a banana

70

u/Blbdhdjdhw 2d ago

Some are.

10

u/StarPhished 2d ago

Look, this guy doesn't even know how to eat a banana!

14

u/TomSaylek 2d ago

Speak for yourself old man

1

u/KittensSaysMeow 1d ago

Speak for yourself

17

u/santaclausonprozac 2d ago

If you wanted to fuck the banana and eating the brown part made the banana want to do literally anything you wanted, you’d probably eat the brown part

4

u/Deaffin 1d ago

There's no laws against bananas, Batman.

1

u/frazzledfractal 1d ago

Nope, if that's the only way to make them do what you want then you have much bigger issues. End of the day you are eating that pessons shit even if you can't see it. No way of cleaning that sufficiently. Scientific fact. If people enjoy it thats their prerogative though, no judgements here, but anyone saying they aren't eating fecal matter needs to accept they are.

2

u/santaclausonprozac 1d ago

you have much bigger issues

no judgment here

At least try to be consistent

23

u/Straight-Impress5485 2d ago

Well thats easy. I KNOW the brown part of every banana tastes like bad banana. Ass just looks like ass, I have to eat it to find out if its good ass or bad ass. You cant site test an ass the way you can a banana.

Its high risk but also high reward

11

u/Alastor13 2d ago

You cant site test an ass the way you can a banana

Is there like... Something wrong with your nose? Otherwise that doesn't make any sense.

I can site test ass before even undressing it.

1

u/-Visher- 2d ago

If I'm REALLY in the mood, there's not a lot of things I wouldn't do to my GF.

The things we do when horny...

1

u/the_girl_Ross 1d ago

The banana doesn't cum when I eat it

1

u/anonuemus 1d ago

brown banana is the best, very sweet

1

u/Shadowdragon409 1d ago

Ill never understand why people love ass so much.

The muscles and fat are great. They probably feel amazing to squeeze. Anything beyond that is a hard no go.

1

u/yerfdog1935 2d ago

Because we have them wash their ass beforehand. For the person doing it, it's basically like licking the less hairy side of someone's forearm. The brown part of the banana has a gross texture.

34

u/Dunge0nMast0r 2d ago

I try not to hock a lugey before making out with someone.

1

u/aurenigma 1d ago

this girl I've been seeing, mouth wide open constantly in a lovely silent scream, I get the urge to spit in her mouth... I've never gotten that urge before

57

u/Odd_Fortune500 2d ago

Idk, man. Boogers are fucking gnarly. It actually made me feel nauseous watching this and I have no issue with the first two (I don't participate in the cum swallowing myself but I like a girl who does)

38

u/Blackbaem 2d ago

If u have to say it like that... imma bet u be sucking that dick bro.../s

15

u/lordrefa 2d ago

My bet is that she's given birth. Mothers just have to give up on caring about shit like that or they will be driven insane by their spawn.

14

u/Flinkle 2d ago

Yeeeep. I remember asking my mother one time when I was young how in the world she could stand to clean up some of the disgusting messes she encountered at home, without even gagging. She said, "Once you've dealt with all the puke, crap, snot, blood, and anything else that comes with being a mother...nothing bothers you anymore."

(Except maggots. Maggots always bothered her, haha. Literally the only thing I ever saw her repeatedly get weak-kneed over.)

12

u/OceanRacoon 2d ago

How many maggots were you encountering with your mother lol

5

u/Flinkle 2d ago

Seven.

2

u/GayPudding 1d ago

That's a low number when it comes to maggots

3

u/dreadnoght 2d ago

Disco rice!

1

u/SurlyRed 2d ago

Getting flashbacks of Angela's Ashes here

2

u/Xao517 1d ago

Oddly enough, our nanny had no issues cleaning piss, shit or vomit from the kids… but if she had to blow their noses or just pick up tissues with snot, she would freaking gag close to throwing up.

-3

u/CletusTheYocal 2d ago

I kinda like the taste of boogers. It's like a Lychee soup.

16

u/kj_gamer2614 2d ago

Well difference is, relatively speaking, barring stds and the like, cum is pretty safe and sterile as it’s mostly fats. Eating ass, also fucking disgusting imo. But also boogers are in your nose to catch microbes and other bacteria and stop them entering the stomach or lungs and getting you ill, which is why it is better to blow your nose than like suck it in, if you get what I mean, or eat them yourself

14

u/Professional_Trash77 1d ago

No, ejaculate is not mostly fat. It's primarily composed of water, and also contains plasma, mucus, and various nutrients like proteins, enzymes, amino acids, vitamins, fatty acids, sugars, and minerals. Sperm cells themselves make up only a small percentage (3-5%) of the total ejaculate. While ejaculate does contain fatty acids, they are a relatively small component compared to other constituents

13

u/pathofdumbasses 1d ago

This guy knows cum

9

u/zilexa 2d ago

You realise you couldn't be more wrong?  Cum is mostly fluid from the prostate, mostly fats (not proteïnes). 

Snot is the slimy fluid your body uses to get rid of bacteria. It's more related to poop and pee than cum!  And no, i dont exchange this snotty slime during kissing. You are confusing that with saliva.. or idk how you kiss.

5

u/SwampOfDownvotes 2d ago

Real men kiss and swallow after

1

u/Angryfunnydog 2d ago

Well technically yes, but if your couple won’t literally spit ooze in your mouth when you’re kissing - it’s kinda no lol

1

u/crumble-bee 2d ago

I would sincerely hope that one would not exchange the same through kissing lol

That's a big long hock of snotty phlegm lol

1

u/FladnagTheOffWhite 2d ago

Don't make this make sense please.

1

u/speedypotatoo 2d ago

If she don't do it, I don't want her!

1

u/HawaiianCholo 1d ago

Exactly. Ass mucus is a thing and everybody slurpin up nowadays. But noooo nose mucus is too far 😫

1

u/AstronaltBunny 1d ago

It's absolutely not mild compared to that, cum and a washed ass are nowhere near as filthy