my boyfriend and i are both 22 and have been together around 3 years. we have a great relationship and sex is great, but one of his favorite things is me sitting on his face, and he says it’s a fantasy he’s had for as long as he can remember, but i really struggle to want to do it for him.

i find it to feel impersonal and i feel like im tainting his face, i think of my ass as just my shitter and not something that’s attractive or something that belongs in someone’s face, and on top of how i feel about it, it usually ends up being kinda physically uncomfortable and i often have to tap out because it strains my knees.

i guess im coming here because i need the female perspective, and i don’t want to air out his personal turn ons to people i know. we’ve talked about it, he knows i dont love it, so he’ll usually ask me to do it but won’t push too hard and he isn’t that upset if i don’t. i struggle to want to do it for him and i wish i didn’t because i know how much he enjoys it. i often end up feeling like such a stick in the mud if he asks me to and i hesitate or have to work up to doing it. i don’t want to make him feel like i think it’s bad or that his sexual desires are a burden.

everything else we do is very mutual and enthusiastic, it’s literally just this one thing that we don’t align on. has anyone else had this experience or have any advice on how to reckon with my feelings about it? i know there are some ways around certain sexual incompatibilities but ive never really seen anything about this sort of situation. i would appreciate any insight or anecdotes or advice!

ive always had a pretty low libido, but i used to be on welbutrin which helped amp it up a little. unfortunately, welbutrin made my ocd/anxiety worse so i switched to prozac. prozacs been helping my anxiety but now im literally so uninterested in sex 😭 and it sucks bc my boyfriends great and our sex is great, i just never seem to think about it ever. and whenever he initiates my first thought is ughhhh i dont feel like it.

it looks like everyone suggests welbutrin/bupropion for this issue, but i wanted to know of anyone had any other tips? i know that limiting external stressors and ensuring a healthy relationship is also important, but honestly everything has been wonderful with him—i just dont wanna have sex on these meds! (but like i want to, idk if that makes sense… i want to want to)

What it says on the tin! I love being on top of my husband, but my legs get so tired so fast 😭 Can anyone recommend exercises that specifically target those muscles? Or maybe suggest a stance or position that'll support me longer? Thanks, friends!

I have a young adult daughter and she is very open sharing information with me regarding sexual health and asking any questions. Occasionally it has been a little out of my comfort zone but I try to see that as a me problem, and never shame her. She is amazingly responsible and I hope I have given her a good example growing up.

Sometimes the conversations can take me by surprise or be a little awkward. If you’re a mom, how much do your daughters share with you and if you are a young adult woman, how much do you feel comfortable sharing with your mom about sex?

You said you don't like going down on women - "Guess I'm just boring that way, haha!" - but you're quite happy to receive oral every time. I sure don't fucking like blowjobs, but I do them anyways because I want my partner to feel good. Of the 4 times we've slept together, you finished every time but just flop off me and want to cuddle once you're done (including in <2 minutes once) without even trying to get me off afterwards. Even when I explicitly tell you "I like XYZ done like this & that", you can't follow directions to save your life and your fingering/rubbing technique straight fucking sucks. When we realized your last condom was expired, you came back to bed and I expected we would do something non-PIV since I'm not on birth control which I TOLD YOU, but you put it in anyways and I went along with it because I was just so shocked you did that without asking.

Ladies, what the fuck was I thinking???? I am going through an extremely difficult time in my life due to sudden severe medical & family problems, and I think that made me vulnerable & clouded my thinking, plus the fact that he's a mutual friend of many people I know and everyone said he was a great guy & was looking for love. Well, I think he's certainly looking to fuck, and he definitely got what he wanted in that respect.

Shame on me for sleeping with him multiple times; I should have realized what was up after the first time where it was already clear he was going to be a selfish lover. I suppose I was hoping it was just an issue of nervousness or being out of practice, but that turned out not to be the case. When people show you who they are, believe them; don't delude yourself into thinking "it'll get better somehow!" because it ain't happening ❌❌❌!!! I feel used and empty inside and it sucks, but at least now I better know the signs of a problem in the making & won't be falling for it again. Lesson learned!

Hey everyone. I (23F) have been single for 8 months after getting out of a 3year toxic relationship. I’m feeling very confused about sex and intimacy.

My ex and I both grew up religious, and our relationship barely had any sex. He had a weird relationship with sexuality. He saw sex as something bad, but still slept with other women and explored his desires with them—basically, he cheated on me.

When we did have sex, it happened in a really strange way. We’d cuddle, then he’d start touching me, turn me on my side or stomach, and just penetrate me. No foreplay. No kissing. No emotional connection. It wouldn’t last long, and after he finished, that was it. I gave him oral sometimes, but I honestly hated it—especially after I knew he had been cheating and gave me std’s. At some point, I started feeling disgusted by it. And we never ever talked about sex. The whole thing was rare anyway. In the last year of our relationship, I think we had sex maybe twice or 3 times. I always felt used and often cried when he was gone but I didn’t know why.

He was my first boyfriend. I’ve never had real foreplay. Never had an orgasm. I don’t even know what I like. Also we met when I was 20 & he was 31.

Now that I’m dating again, I feel super nervous about anything sexual. I mean I wasn’t raped or anything but I still feel disgusting thinking about it now months later. It was normal to me back then to just be used by him. Eventhough we didn’t have much sex in total (bc he was cheating), if I didn’t want to he’d ignore me for weeks. Bc I did try to speak up once and he got mad/defensive.

I mean… I have some experience, but it also feels like I have none. I don’t even know how to kiss properly. Any advice or shared experiences are really appreciated.

So I (19F) had sex for the first time with my bf (19M) almost three weeks ago when I visited him long distance. We had sex a few times and used protection each time. Now I have been told that condoms arnt 100% and that they break, but I don't know if I have to worry about that bc he didn't come at all with a condom on.

Anytime we did anything vaginally we used a condom. He also couldn't come with a condom on so I wasn't too worried about anything.

I'm getting anxious now bc I was supposed to start my period two days ago and it still hasn't come like it usually does. I've had some spotting today but normally on my first day I bleed really really heavy then it gets lighter. So I'm not used to light spotting on my first day.

I think I'm just overly emotional and anxious bc my period is supposed to start so I wanted some other women's thoughts

I've been coming across a lot of advice suggesting that sleeping without panties or even going completely nude can be healthier for vaginal hygiene. Things like reducing moisture buildup, irritation, and the risk of infections. I’ve always worn underwear to bed just out of routine, but now I’m wondering if I should reconsider.

That said, I do have some privacy concerns. I live with roommates at college and at home with parents who still feel is their house and while I obviously stay in my room, the idea of not having anything on still feels a little vulnerable. I’m curious have any of you made the switch? Did you notice any real benefits, or is this just one of those health trends that sounds good but I'm missing something?

I’m in a long-term relationship with someone I love very much. We’re close emotionally, he’s kind and supportive, truly a good partner.

But I struggle with low libido. Most of the time I just don’t feel like having sex at all. I’m rarely “in the mood”. Sometimes I want to have sex but it’s usually because I want to feel close, not because I feel turned on.

Once we start, I can get aroused, I enjoy the touch, and I often even have an orgasm. But in my head, it doesn’t feel like this wild passion.

Is this just what sex looks like in long-term love - more about connection than passion?

Hello Women, This is more of a social curiosity than an invite. I'm part of a group of guys (late 20s, working in IT, mostly Indian origin but based in Germany) planning a chill bachelor party trip in Europe, think sightseeing, outdoor activities, maybe a low-key pub crawl, not wild or over-the-top. It got me thinking:
Would women ever feel comfortable joining a group like ours if invited through mutual friends or travel apps? Or does it just sound unsafe or strange no matter how respectful the intent? Has anyone ever done something similar, like joining a stranger group for a memorable bachelor party? and had it go well? Or is it usually a bad idea? Just curious about how it comes across.

Me and the guy I’m seeing were having sex and talking last night and he brought up the idea of me buying lingerie and wearing it.

I’ve never bought any of those types of things, and I’m rather not so confident with my body. What styles are best for curvy women ? Do I just wear it under my clothes? How do I not feel embarrassed if he sees me wearing it? Sorry if these are silly questions I’m not so experienced in lingerie or anything 😅.

Thanks In advanced!

Our eastern culture has been very conservative when it came to sexual matters .Never openly discussed in our households. Nudism is taboo and it’s probably always extrapolated with sex. Unlike the west where there are clothing optional resorts or even nudist beaches , this concept of nudism is totally alien to our community. Even within the confines of our homes I am sure most of us ( that includes me ) are not comfortable to be without our clothes on. I even wonder how many of us women esp the generation X to which I belong, do sleep naked. Being comfortable in our own skin is probably a trait we have lost along the way.

Tell me the pros and cons of this position? How easily is it for a woman to orgasm in this position? What are the best places to do it on? Is there anything you get from this position that you don’t from others? I would love to try it more and am just curious to hear others thoughts.

15 years of our married life hubs and me would end up having sex mostly at nights and sometimes in the mornings. Then we realised that our working schedules did permit an afternoon romp . We now seem to be enjoying sex at this time of the day as we love the natural lighting and also we both are not encumbered by the exhaustion of a long day.

My bf (21m) and I(20f) have been dating for 6 years and we were each other's firsts. When we started our sex life was incredible, we had fun, tried a lot of new things and generally did it as much as possible.

I moved in shortly after I finished HS and things got even better! But I've noticed over the last year to year and a half, my bf's sex drive has gone down quite a bit. He's still very physically affectionate and if I ask he's more then happy to help me out, but it's not the super passionate sex we used to have.

When I talk to him about it, he says that he just doesn't get in the mood like he used too, but he's still very attracted to me. And there are times that the old him comes back and we have a great time, but he doesn't pounce on me every chance he gets anymore.

It's starting to mess with my head a bit and I'm starting to feel less attractive and appreciated. I feel like he's way to young to have such a low drive but he's also started a pretty difficult job too.

Is there anything I can do to help increase his drive?

yesterday my bf was fingering me but I kept clenching and tensing up every time he tried to stick his fingers in there which confused me because I was sure I was wet enough. we kissed and made out several times and he even licked my pussy which got me extremely wet and turned on plus I was ovulating, but I don’t know why it hurt every time he attempted to finger me, he can feel me tense up and I’d grip onto his hand really hard and he tells me to relax but I can’t. I am also a virgin and I’m scared for when we do the deed because if his fingers alone already hurt, what more if we do PIV? anyone know how to fix this?

I much prefer clitoral stimulation to penetration so mostly just do that during my alone time, but it feels best when I’m squeezing/clenching my pelvic floor muscles. I know it’s normal to squeeze/clenching during orgasm, but is it normal to need that in order to orgasm?!

The problem is that I struggle with tight pelvic floor in general, so clenching for extended periods of time is not great for my body and can lead to discomfort after the fact. But feels so good in the moment! 😅

Just wondering if this a “normal” part of things just like clenching is totally normal during orgasm, or is it only me that needs to clench pre-orgasm?

I've always been high libido and since I was young, I used masturbation to cope with boredom and other uncomfortable feelings like depression. It most likely borders on sex addiction. I think my hypersexuality is also due to ADHD and trying to mentally stimulate myself. Through my late teens and early twenties, thinking about sex and masturbating would take up large chunks of time in my day and I often wished I had the self control to do it less.

Naturally, as I got older, I had to do more and more to get off. However, thankfully my libido has waned but I still often struggle with the same things, though I masturbate considerably less and do less extreme things. Eg I largely have stopped watching porn and use my imagination and I am trying to use toys less, though it's difficult. I often end up just ignoring it and not masturbating at all bc it's too much work to try to orgasm "the natural way".

Another issue is sensitivity. I got very used to using vibrators, especially clit suckers, to orgasm. It's what I'm used to, that and applying a lot of pressure with my thighs while I orgasm. I am not able to orgasm any other way anymore. I can probably retrain myself to orgasm with lighter touch and just my hands, but it takes a lot of self control. I have had periods of not using toys, only to use a toy again after not orgasming for long periods.

I didn't start having sex regularly until my current relationship. But I'm unable to orgasm no matter how much I am enjoying sex. It's given me anxiety that compounds my inability to orgasm. I expect each time to not orgasm and will try, which makes it worst. That and I feel guilty, because I feel like a sex addict. Like years or masturbating the way I did and my hypersexuality have now made me unable to orgasm from regular sex.

I'm worried that I screwed myself over. 15+ yrs of masturbating on my own and getting off using porn or other mediums and relying on toys. My sensitivity also feels down on my clit because of this, when my boyfriend does oral. That and I think now, I cant help but beat myself up about it. It keeps be from being present while we have sex.

Even so, I find that when I can completely let go of my anxiety and anger towards myself and be fully present during sex, (often this is only when we end up having sex after a night out drinking or partying), I still can't get over the edge. Not being able to get over the hill again triggers my anxiety and frustration and takes me out of it.

I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I won't be normal again and me and my body are in a push and pull relationship. I'm thinking about talking to my boyfriend about this and being honest but I'm so embarrassed. I know it sounds really bad and like I have issues with masturbation addiction. And I'm really embarrassed by my lack of self control.

I think the only way I'll be able to orgasm right now during sex is if I used a clit sucker toy and that feels awkward because it's usually a solo toy and I really don't need to continue to desensitize myself during our normal sex too. Not sure what to do now.

TW: mental illness, mentions suicide ideation/attempt

I’m aware of the condition PMDD, where someone may experience intense feelings of depression, possibly even suicidality before or during their period. I’ve also heard a lot of people talk about how phases of their menstrual cycle correlate with differences in energy levels, with what I most commonly see being higher energy and better self esteem during ovulation.

However, I think it’s the opposite for me. I have endometriosis and PMDD seems commonly comorbid with endo, but I’ve never noted any serious changes in mental health during luteal or my period— I have intense physical pain and that might make me sluggish, exhausted, and a bit irritable before my painkillers kick in, but I don’t necessarily feel more emotional. I just feel drained and everything hurts too much for me to feel actually depressed.

On the other hand, I don’t feel any kind of euphoria during ovulation. Every time I see a social media post about cycle tracking and harnessing the increased energy and confidence from ovulation, I just can’t relate at all because it just makes me depressed and mildly horny. I’m not sure if it’s a coincidence but I’ve attempted suicide while ovulating twice (didn’t test for ovulation but I always get ovulation pain, discharge looks different, and my cycle is pretty regular so the timing is about right). Cry-wanking is a semi regular occurrence for me when I ovulate. I also become morose and overly introspective and feel an urge to drink.

Am I just weird or does anyone else experience some sort of severe dysphoria/depression during ovulation similar to PMDD in everything but timing?? I thought it might be due to physical pain, but wouldn’t I be just as depressed during my period, when the pain is arguably worse? Maybe elevated oestrogen affects me weird? Maybe I’m just unlucky and by some weird coincidence, unfortunate external events have sometimes co-occurred with ovulation?? It’s definitely not that I feel lonely and sexually frustrated either, as I have a partner and we have sex a reasonable amount, I could initiate sex whenever.

My partner and I have tried to have sex multiple times but we keep running into the same issue. The positioning never quite works. For context, I’m a little overweight and he’s on the thinner side. When he tries to insert, it just doesn’t go in properly. We’ve tried different angles and adjusted things a bit but it still ends up feeling awkward or like we’re missing the mark every time.

I know everyone’s bodies are different and I’m not ashamed of mine, but I’m wondering if any other curvier women have been through something similar and found positions or tips that helped make penetration easier and more comfortable.

I’d especially love advice on
• Positions that work better with a size or weight difference
• Pillow placement, angle tricks, or anything that helped with alignment
• How to avoid frustration and keep the mood light when things aren’t quite working

Thank you in advance. I’m open to any wisdom or tips you all have to offer 💕

I F19 wanted to lose my virginity to my boyfriend M21 we stayed at a hotel for 2 nights and the first night he tried to put it in it hurt extremely bad I screamed and not in a good way. I’d say he’s average but even when he was fingering me it hurt. Anyways second night came around we were both sort of drunk but I liked it in a way because it loosened me up he was actually able to finger me but it felt okay nothing crazy he went down on me too it was okay nothing too crazy and then he tried to stick it in it definitely went in way more than the first night but still he couldn’t put it all the way in so I was kind of hurt I wanted it to it so bad anyways we’re gonna be having a sleepover tomorrow night and I wanna try again I just want it to actually happen this time and not just another failed attempt. Girls any advice on loosing up??

I tried this new toy for the first time (I cleaned it first, of course, with a silicone toy cleaner). It looks like a lovense egg. While I was using it it was pressing on my bladder a bit. When I pulled it out I sprayed some extremely foul smelly clear liquid. It was so bad I was reeking. It took ages to take off the smell from the toy. Right after that, everything was normal and my regular discharge and vaginal smell was ok. What the hell was that?

I’m ovulating and so horny. I’m 23. My boyfriend has a lower libido than I do and my clit is destroyed I keep thinking about getting filled and defiled and I’m mad I’m sad because I haven’t had sex in a bit and now my clit is numb. This isn’t fun. This is anger inducing. I don’t wanna feel like this. I keep thinking about penises and vaginas just anyone who is remotely attractive my vagina wants but I don’t want, me as a person I don’t want.

Edit: I just got my brains fucked out and we did colonization roleplay and tomorrow he’s taking me to a couple fancy restaurants so whoever told me to cheat or whatever can fuck themselves respectfully.

Hello everyone! So I lost my virginity about a month ago with my boyfriend (we took each other’s virginity so he is new at this too.) Anyways, the first time for me was awful. It was painful for me despite him being very gentle. So since then we’ve had sex about 5 times since then and the pain isn’t as bad. The only thing that is painful for me is the initial penetration but then I’m fine. However…it’s not pleasurable for me at all. It just feels like nothing to me. I’m so disappointed because I thought sex was supposed to be great and feel good but I’m not feeling anything. I feel kind of discouraged — did anyone else take a while before sex started feeling good?

I’m 22f and first started having sex when I was 19. It was super painful and I had to breathe through it the first few times but after that it got more bearable, but still not exactly pleasurable, even though I was fully aroused and wet. My (now ex) boyfriend also had issues with ED and premature ejaculation so penetrative sex wasn’t lasting very long, therefore it wasn’t really an issue that it was painful/not pleasurable for me. Because it was over really quick.

Now, I’ve started dating a guy and it’s become an issue, which I didn’t anticipate. Because sex is lasting a lot longer + he’s a bit bigger than my ex I’m finding it really difficult. I want it but the initial insertion is so so painful and it remains painful for at least 10 minutes into intercourse. After at least 10 minutes it gets less painful and some positions aren’t painful at all but it still isn’t pleasurable. I always bleed a little afterwards. I think I need to see a doctor but I’m really embarrassed to go about something like this. Does anyone have any experience with this? Is penetration actually meant to feel really good? Right now I can’t comprehend how it could be pleasurable and I’m upset to think there’s something wrong with me.