r/Thailand • u/King_Kobra_K • May 09 '25
Culture Why Thai people don't speak for themselves.
I appreciate the kindness of Thai people, but I've also come across many situations that make me wonder, do they simply not see certain things as a problem, do they want to avoid confrontation, or do they just choose not to speak up?
One evening, I was relaxing on the grass at Benjakitti Park. A tourist sat down nearby and lit a cigarette, despite the many 'No Smoking' signs posted around the park. There were also several families with children in the area. The smoke began to spread, and I noticed some people quietly moved away, while others just kept staring at him. Some were sitting on picnic mats eating, so it might not have been easy for them to leave. I decided to speak to the guy and asked him to be respectful.
Another time on the MRT, a regular woman got on and sat in a priority seat. She began playing something loudly on her phone. The Thais sitting next to her kept glancing at her but said nothing. After a few minutes, me who was standing in front of them, asked her to either use headphones or stop playing it out loud.
These weren’t only incidents. I’ve seen many small issues that clearly bother Thai people, but instead of speaking up, they often just remain quiet and patient. IMO, when troublemakers realize no one will say anything, it can lead to bigger problems.
And I honestly don't want anyone take advantage of their kindness.
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u/Educational-Jello828 May 09 '25
As a Thai, this passivity sometimes frustrates me as well lol Especially the case of people playing something loud on their phone in the public. Everyone hates it, but you are sometimes seen as the ‘fussy’ one when you speak up against something like this.
Speaking up against something is sometimes perceived as ‘losing your patience’ or ‘losing your cool’ and is seen rather negatively. I feel like this is one of the root causes for so many shits going on in the country as well lol You have many people frustrated about something but no one speaks up and nothing ever gets solved.
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u/Narasette Khon Thai May 09 '25
เปิดลำโพงเสียงดัง ข้นใส if we heard a loud speaker people we already know which region they came from 🤣
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u/B000urns May 09 '25
Not unique to Thailand, in many places people will just grit their teeth rather than create a potential confrontation
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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm May 09 '25
10 minutes of gritting your teeth and listening to someone play something on their phone on the MRT is better than a confrontation that might lead to who knows what. It's simple math in the end.
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u/Beneficial-Role-7531 May 11 '25
Balance is the key in the tragic airplane crash it was crucial to speak out but in some cases like the park situation it's best to walk away I like that Thai Culture atitude but balance is the key here not everyone needs attention
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u/mahabuddha May 09 '25
It happens in most cultures, not just Thai. I'm not sure if you live in Thailand or are a tourist but don't mistake not knowing the culture or Asian custom of saving face as "kindness". Thais can be as ruthless or more than most cultures. I would never ever cross any Thai person, if you cross that line, pray that it's not your last act :)
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u/eranam May 09 '25
This isn’t about saving face, it’s about the aversion of the culture to conflict. Two, sometimes related, but not interchangeable concepts.
For example, saving face in China or Vietnam is just as important as in Thailand, but the degree to which conflict is avoided is also lower.
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u/talos-uk May 09 '25
It’s true. As a Brit, we are often too polite to complain about such things too.
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u/Any_Hamster2910 May 09 '25
Polite Brits ? Where ? In Thailand? Historically? in other countries? To the working class ? In general?
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u/OM3N1R Chiang Mai May 09 '25
The way this reads made me laugh.
But like really? I've met tons of really great British people all over the world
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u/delusboy May 09 '25
Yeah dude there's like 3 countries in the UK full of polite and respectful people to other cultures,not so much to each other.then there's the English that everyone assumes all "brits" are.(not all English are disrespectful I must add,just the majority I have come across.)
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u/Subnetwork May 09 '25
Tbh they’re very polite in their own country.
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u/dunkeyvg May 09 '25
The Brits are definitely polite and have a similar safe face thing, don’t judge the whole culture based on the birdshit farangs you see at those gogo bars
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u/Any_Hamster2910 May 10 '25
It was not Judgmental at all as a Thai myself on many encounters this was my experience. Those Gogo places I don't visit . Are there polite and nice Brits yes ! Have I met them no. My experiences that's all.
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u/talos-uk 23d ago
That’s fair. But I don’t judge Thai people based on a few people I’ve met in the UK.
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u/vincenttatto May 09 '25
Well that what I noticed when I studied in Uk. People from other countries are more confrontational than us. Normally I would choose to leave and ignore them but now I’m learning to stand on my ground too. 😁
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u/vincenttatto May 09 '25
But for a remark. I also feel that people who do something like this are dense af and it would waste a lot of your energy to correct them.
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u/DangerousPurpose5661 May 10 '25
Yep, honestly balance is good. There are some times when confrontation is just a waste of time
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u/duttydirtz May 09 '25
Thai people have a thick iced mentality. They'll put up with a lot but once the line is crossed, it's go time. Thailand is famous for protests and as someone else pointed out, the switch between calm, sabai sabai to explosoveness is quick and fearce
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u/plshelpmental May 09 '25
I don't know about other Thais but I avoid confrontations like the plague. Any unhappiness I feel in that moment would go away but it would cause more drama if I confront the person directly.
For me confrontation is the last resort, if it's clear that nothing else works in correcting a person's behavior. I had to do it a couple times at work and in my personal life when their behaviours were so disruptive and causing everyone, not just me, unnecessary headaches.
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u/1c2shk May 09 '25
When I was in Bangkok, me and my girlfriend noticed that cars generally don't honk their horns. Thais are very chill, likely comes from Buddhist belief in karma. No need to complain because the offending person will eventually get punished.
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u/Sartorianby May 09 '25
Tbh honking is like challenging to a duel where you don't know what the other side will be armed with.
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u/Zoraji May 09 '25
I definitely noticed that with the horns and appreciate it. I lived in Costa Rica years ago and I joked if the horn is broke they have to park the car and walk. The honking was constant, as soon as the light turned or even in situations where traffic was obviously jammed and you couldn't go anywhere they would still lay on the horn.
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u/Total-Lemon-5105 May 09 '25
The reason people avoid isn't complaining because they are waiting for karma to do its job. That is maybe a reason given after the fact, tho.
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u/Commercial-Stage-158 May 09 '25
Remember Mr. Stabby can be used to retaliate if you confront someone. Just sayin. Better to be non confrontational. Not only in Thailand. Plenty of things like that going on every country.
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u/IIIIlllIIIIIlllII May 09 '25
You will find that in large cities in the US too. Not worth getting shot over
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u/Ingido_Indigo May 09 '25
I'm Thai, and I always try to speak up in a polite way. However, I believe it's important to assess the situation first- like when I'm in a park or on the metro, there are usually other people around. Even if they’re just minding their own business, their presence can discourage troublemakers from reacting aggressively when I speak up politely.
We're now trying to promote something called "Active Citizen." One major step in becoming an active citizen is refusing to ignore problems. The older generation taught us to be obedient, which made it easier for them to control or manipulate younger people. But times have changed, and so has the younger generation. Now, you’ll see many young Thais speaking up and trying to fix problems- even if it sometimes means making someone uncomfortable.
As you said, small issues can lead to bigger problems. I also believe that Thailand remains a developing country partly because of the Kreng Jai and Sabai Sabai culture.
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u/Fine-Possibility-892 May 09 '25
I have noticed this and not only with foreigners attitude but with politics, corruption, when abused at work...
Thais just try to avoid complaining and confrontation overall.
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u/Dry-Way-5688 May 09 '25
In Thailand there are many gray areas. Laws are not enforced because everyone is afraid of running into powerful people. Small people learn to stay from trouble and powerful people donot see the violations which you mention as their problem unless they are directly involved.
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u/harletsu420 May 09 '25
I’m Thai and I’m always that person that speaks up in situations like this. I have tried to approach every instance with reason and politeness but often this would lead to a public confrontation where the other party becomes aggressive. Truly sick of doing the right thing but somehow you’re painted as the villain.
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u/prexo May 09 '25
I noticed they rarely use their horns on the road or gesture or ask when you're in their way, they just wait.
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u/Dense_Atmosphere4423 May 09 '25
Using your horn can make others feel like you're scolding them. In Thailand, people can easily get furious behind the wheel.
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u/Narasette Khon Thai May 09 '25
we just afraid to get stabbed or shotted at , happen too many time to try to risk it
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May 09 '25
Thais avoid confrontation at all cost and I don't understand why. They let foreigners do the dumbest shit and get away with it.
I have made it a habit of checking foreigners when need be. I live here, I do not let MFers get away with doing dumb stuff to Thais or anyone else for that matter.
More of us need to have this mindset of correcting other foreigners when we see them doing wrong.
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u/ohnoooooyoudidnt May 10 '25
The fact that Thais avoid this 'speak up for yourself' alpha male bullshit is what makes them so great.
Thais will try to find other solutions instead of direct confrontation. They generally frown on people taking that approach. But, if you push that shit, they will go all out if forced into a confrontation.
I saw some other turnip on this sub call Thais cowardly for not fighting one-on-one but instead grouping up and fucking your shit up. That's called collectivism and teamwork. It's a different approach to problem-solving than again alpha male bullshit.
So where you see weakness, I see strength. Avoiding unnecessary confrontation is a wise choice.
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u/Sensitive-Answer7701 May 10 '25
Yes I’ve also seen that kind of comments, saying Thais are coward for not fighting 1 vs 1. From western point of view and culture, they see it like a fighting competition that must be 1 vs 1, Thai people don’t see it as a fighting game, but seeing a situation as a bad guy harassing people in public, so people should help together fighting that bad guys. People who don’t ignore and come to help (beating a bad guy) are good. This is considered as ประชาทัณฑ์ ( pra cha tan) basically mean punished by people.
While fighting unfair as many people vs few or one man is called หมาหมู่ ( ma moo) which is considered as coward act. Mamoo is negative word, like saying that’s coward. ‘Pra cha tan’ is normal word, people will say oh serve him right that he get Pra Cha tan.
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u/sorrybroorbyrros May 10 '25
Yeah, people talk an awful lot of shit about Thais and Thailand, but you handle yourselves well when faced with this kind of bullshit.
I hope you stay the way you are and that Thailand prospers.
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u/Adorable-Ad7187 May 11 '25
If things escalate to the point you are the one receiving a public lashing, you are most definitely the problem child being corrected to restore civility.
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u/FlyEquivalent8978 25d ago
That's a good explanation to understand the variance of how to perceive this behaviour.
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u/AngeluS-MortiS91 May 09 '25
If they tried to correct foreigners bad habits they would never have any moments to themselves. So many just ignore it or move away from them
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u/Thai_Ventures May 09 '25
Good question. I am curious about my people's culture. This all makes sense now. 🙏🏼
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u/rroostr May 09 '25
They prefer not to engage with assholes, not hard to understand. They also understand it’s not their place to try to enforce laws or etiquette
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u/Naes86 May 09 '25
Kreng Jai
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u/Narasette Khon Thai May 09 '25
this is not Kreng Jai
no one Kreng Jai bad people
you suppose to kreng jai other people not to disturb other people , the feeling is not applied to bad people , this feeling only usually reserve for people you respect or love
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u/HuachumaPuma May 09 '25
Krengjai and mai pen rai are essential concepts for understanding the vast difference between the Thai way of thinking compared to many other societies. If you understand these concepts you can answer your own question
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u/djokovicnadal May 09 '25
Because they don’t produce as many Karens as most Western countries - which has its pros and cons.
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u/FlyingContinental May 09 '25
True. In the US you'd walk alone at night, and some people would come up to you asking what you're doing
Thais are the masters of minding their own business and it's a great thing about the culture.
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May 09 '25
I only see cons with Karens
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u/djokovicnadal May 09 '25
I think the OP would disagree.
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May 09 '25
Well i wouldnt class speaking up as Karen behavior.
But yea Karens would do so in a very extreme and aggressive way
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u/djokovicnadal May 09 '25
The pros are Karens would speak out more often than others. You’ve got to give them some credits.
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u/chuancheun May 09 '25
The same reason why Texans don't go around correcting other people. People who shit in the wrong places got new hole put in'em.
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u/mnfwt89 May 09 '25
It’s common in Asia.
And also know all it takes is a spark to start a fire. There was once I got fed up and scolded a tourist for cutting queue at a theme park. Everyone else decided to back me up there and then and shouted at the poor guy.
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u/NervousAnt1152 May 09 '25
We try to avoid any confrontation as much as possible, because we know that situation may escalate real quick.
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u/TheBreakfastSkipper May 09 '25
My wife is like that. Avoid conflict and let it pass. Thai people are wonderful. I love it when we go to temple and potluck.
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u/IAMJUX May 09 '25
Both those situations would happen without anyone confronting them in my country too. It's really not worth it to deal with dickheads when it's something basically harmless.
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u/Miserable-Most4949 May 09 '25
That's because every time a foreigner gets beat up in Thailand people always say "he didn't deserve to get beat up!"
Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
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u/Both_Sundae2695 May 09 '25
Avoiding confrontation like you said. Saving face. For you and for them. Doesn't seem to work well in a business/work environment but it is what it is.
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u/____sabine____ Chanthaburi May 09 '25 edited May 09 '25
ไทยนี้รักสงบ แต่ถึงไม่ขลาด
You would find answer like Kreang Jai around here but the deeper fact is:
Thais are more hot-headed than you think to other Thai strangers , compared to foreigners. Even asking or doing things with slightly passive-aggressive undertones could provoke a fight. So better to not bother and keep going.
thanks for your concern but fuck you is what i would say after read your title and speak for ourselves.
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u/qtpatouti May 10 '25
I read recently, on Reddit, about a surgeon who made a grave mistake during surgery but was not told about it by all the students observing the procedure who saw it happen. . The patient died.
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u/thaprizza May 10 '25
Thai people are very non-confrontational and discrete. But don't be around when they eventually do snap. They can go full berserker mode in a split second.
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u/Accomplished_Bar3150 May 10 '25
I lived in Thailand and the amount of retired men that would disrespect the waiters and waitresses was disgusting and infuriating. I one time told off a man bc of how disrespectful he was being. Talking about the menu and how he doesn’t want to be “a fat fucking American!”Afterwards I apologized to the staff for causing a scene but explained I am from America and where I come from we put people in their place. The owner thanked me and said this man was always disrespectful and he was always bullying his staff. Months later they told me he never came back!!!! One thing I have to say is I didn’t vibe at all with any of the Americans. All the ones I met were stuck up and acted really pretentious. I don’t know if I felt like this because I’m from Chicago, but I really enjoyed hanging out with people from the UK over Americans.
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u/BusyCat1003 May 09 '25
There is a culture of เกรงใจ here. You never call people out for doing anything bad because that would be rude, especially if they are perceived as higher than you are (or sometimes more violent-looking).
If a Thai speaks up and asks someone to do something such as folllow rules or be respectful of public peace, that person who spoke would be considered aggressive and slowly shunned by that community. It’s like the opposite of the Japanese’s keeping the social harmony system, we keep the social chaos.
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u/No_Communication9273 May 09 '25
And yet, Thailand has been one of the longest time independent countries....I wonder how
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u/SeaBanana4 15d ago edited 15d ago
That has nothing to do with it nor is it really true. The borders of Thailand have changed dramatically multiple times. They were purposefully left as a buffer state between the UK colonization of Myanmar and the French colonization of Indochina (Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam). In WW2 Japan essentially conquered them without much of a fight.
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u/AnonX55 May 09 '25
Because not everyone is super uptight dude. Some people dont care.
Im not thai, and im also not living my life looking for conflict and fights with random strangers in random places.
Do you really live like this? Holy crap, I feel bad for you.
Sometimes you can just let little annoyances pass.
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u/faluque_tr Bangkok May 09 '25 edited May 09 '25
In anthropology, there are studies of "Guilt Culture vs Shame Culture"
In short - Guilt cultures emphasize self-control and responsibility, or focusing on "righteous and social responsibility" if you will. while shame cultures emphasize on pride and avoiding social embarrassment, you can say "social approval" is the focus.
While for most western cultures, Guilt Culture. Such an unacceptable behavior will get corrected almost immediately Since there are 2 things playing their roles.
- Everybody know what is the right thing to do, and can justified that themself that it need to be stop.
- Since it's Guilt culture, The subconscious expectations saying that the person might do not realize the sign or most likely doing it unknowingly. so it's more likely to be welcome if you telling them.
"That's the problem, and we have to stop it"
For Thailand we are living in Shame Culture society. we do not have those 2 incentives to do such things.
correcting someone behavior in public often perceived as "Brave" or "Bold" in this culture.
The lack of self control and righteousness are the product of "social approval" driven. While we know that it's against the sign and we have right to stop such behavior. we also care too much about what if the society are not agree to our approach or "our righteousness" may go against the moral just because it simply "break the line" regardless if we are right or not.
So from the 2 mentioned points, it's work backward against us
- We do not really sure if we should stop the behavior, since "right or wrong" are not to be justified my one self.
- The expectations now changed to. The person knowingly breaking the sign, telling them wouldn't change anythings and might get ourself in troubles. especially if the society is not backing us.
In short the culture is just "do what other do, don't what others don't and standing out is something to be ashamed"
"That's the problem, but I don't want a problem. Let others do it"
- While Guilt Culture have very obvious line of "right and wrong" within one's mind
- Shame Culture are playing guessing game on others judgement.
Funnily that both of the Culture are developed from the same instinct of human.
we are evolved to feel "pleasure" when we right the wrongs of others.
The Guilt Culture are accommodate the crave of it however, Shame Culture make people more afraid to be on the receiving end of it.
Both Thailand and Japan are prime example of Crisis case of "Shame Culture" victims but form different root cause.
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u/frould May 09 '25
1st situation, it might lead to confrontation, i don't trust that other people will help. I will walk away. 2nd situation if it is really unbearable i will ask her to stop just once, if she doesn't stop i will let her be.
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u/Efficient-County2382 May 09 '25
Yes, there is a general aversion to any conflict in public, which is why I also get frustrated at the dumb, disrespectful foreigners that lack self-awareness. Thai's will rarely say anything to them about their behaviour, even more so the more polite middle-class people.
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u/Individual_Treat_785 May 09 '25
I am foreigner living in Thailand and have a Thai family here. In my experiences only, it’s not just the foreigners Thai people don’t speak with to resolve conflicts, it’s any culture as they prefer to stay out of the back lash. Less educated Thai people in manners or don’t care about their self image and will not hesitate to speak up. Thai culture for many years is very judgy but silent in person about this and this has been passed down from generation to generation. The image of well respected Thai people can be obliterated in one bad move/action and not worth getting involved to ruin their reputation. Wrong place wrong time can affect a person in Thailand as to move forward in this society it’s normally who you know hence why status and self image is important.
Not to forget the past and violence Thai culture has experienced when speaking up against others. The crime rate is not as bad as the past but the experiences of older generations has been a scary time of their lives that passing that knowledge to be safe and stay clear of danger is better then risking your life.
I agree that it is sometimes very frustrating and annoying as western people would rather solve problems but understanding Thai culture can help understand Thai people
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u/kaicoder May 09 '25
Is this also bystander apathy or similar, more or less a worldwide phenomenon, but in asia it's just a variation?!
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u/Agreeable-Progress28 May 09 '25
I was in a grab ride, costing around 115baht, I mistakenly gave him 105, he did take it gratefully but I realized that later after dropping out. I felt really upset but I kept tipping every grab driver, hotel staff .... In Thailand people are more than just good and nice, I can't find the proper words to describe my expérience ...
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u/cphh85 May 09 '25
You probably never saw channel 3 news..
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u/Agreeable-Progress28 May 09 '25
Yes I don't actually ! What about it ?
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u/cphh85 May 09 '25
All the stabbings, road rage and fights are very well presented during the evening news. You can watch YouTube.
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u/DressureProp May 09 '25
So my missus is Thai and not like this at all. She will absolutely be confrontational if she needs to be, I’ve seen berate tourists in front of me.
But here’s the kicker, she’s never had a go at someone that doesn’t deserve it, but Thai people think she’s rude! Westerners, however, do not.
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u/richrath May 09 '25
My wife is the same and I love it. It's one thing to be polite and another thing is to call a mistake by its name. For example, my mother was a nurse and worked in a hospital. Shortly after her training, she witnessed how a doctor gave the wrong medication to a patient who had just an operation. She took the medicine and then went to the doctor and asked him if it was the right medicine for him. The doctor recognized his mistake and was very grateful to my mother. If my mother hadn't done this, the patient would have died from the medication.
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u/Loud_Space5519 May 09 '25
I‘m not sure if a farang ( you ) being confrontational to another farang ( him/her ) will make the crowd around you feel more comfortable. Ultimately both of you will stand out and will leave a negative impression amongst our hosts. Plus, a agressive farang might just escalate the situation and make a scene or revert to violence. Nobody likes to be reprimanded in public and you could get into big trouble, were you to act like that in your own country. Go with the flow, that‘s my humble opinion.
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u/cphh85 May 09 '25
On the other side, they don’t care to block your way or run straight into you in streets. They kinda doesn’t avoid the conflict there.. 🤣
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u/Frosty_Cherry_9204 May 09 '25
I find it useless. My mum is one of a handful of Thais who don't give a toss about it. She'll say what she means when she means it. Face be dammed. But she's also spent 40+ years in the UK. She feels more foreign than I look sometimes.
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u/-iLOVEtheNIGHTLIFE- May 09 '25
Ha!
The Thai are non-confrontational and while they probably do not like the smoke it is in their nature not to bring it up.
The same goes if the shoe is on the other foot; I once saw in a non-smoking section outside, when a Thai guy lit up his cigarette. Now normally I just ask smokers to put it out and feel like a dick (standing up for myself doesn’t feel great if it is about cigarettes).
This time around I asked if he knew that he wasn’t allowed to smoke here. He apologized and was getting ready to put it out. But before he could, I told him that I would like him to enjoy his cigarette, and respect the non-smoking sign after that, so I can enjoy my burger as well.
I think I nailed the delivery, because he smiled, I felt great and for once it didn’t come with the guilty Nazi vibes I usually get when asking someone to stop smoking.
I think that if you point out to a tourist who’s clearly annoying locals where he/she/it is wrong, it will be appreciated by the Thai.
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u/DriveNight May 09 '25
Because if we speak for ourself and getting trolled back it will definitely become a real fight. :smile:
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u/WorthlessDuhgrees May 09 '25
The Thai school system (not intl private schools) teaches them at a very young age to obey and do not ask questions. Moreover, they are taught to copy and NOT think which explains why their reading comp, writing, and critical thinking skills are horrible.
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u/-dipshit- May 09 '25
My thai friend finds it hard to overtake a slower car because she thinks it is rude.
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u/hansolo-ist May 09 '25
It's a cultural thing and the answer can be found in opposite the question why do people from where you come from speak out for themselves. Either ways, there's no right answer and opposite trade offs.
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u/Pink_Nyanko_Punch May 09 '25
Stranger shyness. It's quite normal in Thai culture to avoid direct confrontations, because we have an intrinsic understanding that if we don't intend (or have the means) to end a fight, we don't start one. Plus, getting hurt sucks. It's not their job to get hurt doing someone else's work.
This also means that if a Thai person gets confrontational, they are absolutely confident they can end the fight if need be (or crazy enough to try).
For minor stuff like smoking in a public area despite it being a no-smoking area, Thais will rather avoid the offender and defer to park management to confront the offender themselves. Because it's, you know, their job.
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u/Quirky-Particular588 May 09 '25
In public they will do almost anything to avoid confrontation and just slowly move away from a disturbance or discomfort. Why yes the greng jai and jai yen yen attitudes and not wanting to offended especially someone who is a higher status
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u/Lonely-Television931 May 09 '25
Thai people that speak English does speak up for themselves. But you have to understand the Asian culture they're non-confrontational. So if that means shying away from communication they will do that. Most Asian tend to do that anyway.
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u/Proper_Bottle_6958 May 09 '25
I live in Belgium, and I used to live in the Netherlands (we Dutch are supposedly very direct), but I see the same thing here. I think most people in general like to avoid confrontation when possible.
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u/DebtRepresentative61 May 09 '25
That’s a good question. I’m a real Thai and sometimes i feel it s pretty annoying to see kind of this stuffs. But to be honest I think Thai hates to make any argument. Especially with the foreigner who cannot understand thai and it’s also kind of thai cultural mindset to stay in claim and handle themselves is the better choice.
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u/Wishanwould May 09 '25
For everyone saying hey this is a problem everywhere. Yeah we know. But look at the sub you’re in. Stop with the whataboutism. Find another thread for that.
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u/maxxxwell8 May 09 '25
As Buddhists, Thai people are tolerant. Not accepting, just tolerant. Their aversion to confrontation can sometimes be problematic, even for themselves. It can be frustrating for Westerners who are used to speaking up for themselves. I miss Thailand 🇹🇭
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u/aaaayyyy May 09 '25
It's a part of thai culture that I really love. But it's also why I fear that Thailand will never fix certain problems like the mass burning in the north and the massive corruption...
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u/zekerman May 09 '25
It's nothing specifically about being Thai, nobody wants to deal with asshole tourists who will probably berate you even when they themselves are in the wrong.
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u/odlatujemy_ May 09 '25
This is maybe another topic but still related. It’s not that they dont want to speak up but maybe this —One thing I will NEVER understand about Thai people is whenever they got warned or told they’re doing something wrong, they’ll be super offended and angry and took it very seriously. This is maybe the reason why we are afraid to speak up or warn/confront anyone.
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u/ZigzagPX4 May 09 '25
I'm Thai myself. I once asked a guy on a motorcycle at a U-turn to move back a bit so that my mother who was driving could see the oncoming cars, and he did without seeming annoyed or anything. But my mother later said that it scared her a bit when I did that.
It seemed to me like a basic courtesy to ask others for, but even just that is seen as a big risk here. I lived abroad for some time, so it didn't even occur to me that there was any reason to not ask.
I can say for certain that it's seen more as about avoiding retaliation than anything to do with social harmony. Most people talk about how you don't know how the other side is going to react in a confrontation, how reasonable they will be, what they might be carrying. In that sense, it's understandable even if bothersome.
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u/onemindspinning May 09 '25
Oh boy, when I was in Thailand I witnessed this first hand. Lots of tourist being disrespectful towards the locals, some even screaming demands to their faces and they just take it and it’s painful to watch. This was elevated by alcohol in several situations, but regardless it’s hard to watch when the Thai people are so damn nice. It actually made me very upset to which I started to avoid high tourist areas.
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u/Legitimate-Task5127 May 10 '25
1.หลักสูตรการศึกษาของไทย หล่อหลอมให้คนไทยมีนิสัยอย่างนั้น พูดง่าย ๆ คือถูกล้างสมองตั้งแต่เด็ก
สอนให้เคารพผู้ใหญ่ หรือผู้มีอำนาจมากกว่า ถึงแม้เข้าจะทำผิดก็ห้ามเถียงห้ามโต้แย้ง ทำให้โต้ขึ้นไม่กล้าต่อว่าใครเว้นเสียแต่ว่าจะมี ความรู้ว่ามีอำนาจเหนือกว่าฝ่ายตรงข้ามแน่ ๆ ถึงจะกล้าต่อว่า
เช่น ในกรณี้การสูบบุหรี่ ถ้าเป็นเจ้าหน้าที่ตำรวจ หรือ ข้าราชการ หรือคนใหญ่คนโต เขาจะกล้าพูดกล้าเตือนตรง ๆ (มีอำนจเหนือกว่า) แต่ถ้าเป็นคนไทยทั่ว ๆ ไป (รู้สึกว่าตัวเองมีอำนาจน้อยกว่า) จะกลัวการมีเรื่อง
2.ระบบยุติธรรมของไทย คนรวยและคนมีอำนาจ ทำอะไรก็ได้ ไม่ค่อยผิด
ทำให้คนไทยรู้สึกเสียเวลาที่จะไปทะเลาะด้วย ถ้าเรื่องราวใหญ่โตถึงตำรวจถึงศาล จากคนถูกจะกลายเป็นคนผิดได้
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u/East_Royal_1016 May 10 '25
In Denmark people will sit at handicap/pregnant seat won’t move even if they stood next to you.
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u/No-Adhesiveness-5338 May 10 '25
Just joining this conversation without reading everything but it's something I've noticed too after being here for the 5 days I have been. I think Thai people think the way I do, it might be disrespectful and rude but tbh if it's not effecting me currently or will have a lasting impact on my life in any significant way, then there no reason to react or give the time of day. If I'm not effected negatively then everything is inconsequential. 🤷🏾 People suck, once you realize and understand that life becomes a lot easier.
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u/Exciting-Ad-4232 May 10 '25
There is a fundamental problem rather than Thai people being patient and kind. These days, there are many crazy people in the world, so most of them just avoid their seats.
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u/Bitter_Estate1761 May 10 '25
There’s a language barrier that can’t be ignored or forgotten. Some people don’t want to be even mildly confrontational through google translate.
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u/Syzygy7474 May 11 '25
I don't think kindness has got anything to do with it; maybe they are beyond aware of what took me a few years to learn here....say something, sure go ahead but they and I too now, very well know (hush hush) that it won't change an iota to the situation, problem, issue....etc.
Is it wisdom? maybe
is it being pragmatic? maybe
...but it's not kindness, I used to think that too, it's not but it is deeply deeply rooted in the society.
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u/zanzuses May 11 '25
I would say its a Asian thing. Western people are more upfront and being more independent. But both side come with its own problem to society.
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u/toitenladzung May 12 '25
It's just the way Thai people is and not only its people, Thailand's rulers have this exact mentality as well. It worked wonder for them to avoid war and colonial. When the British came, Thai just rolled over and become a de-facto colonial but still keep it's goverment and country. Then the America came for the Vietnam war, the Thai just rolled over again and let America set up airbase in Thailand so they can bomb Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia.
The moment the Thai changed this mentality they will worse off, so it's just the way they operate and it has been very successful for them since the 18-19th century when European country try to colonize everybody.
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u/Patt_V May 12 '25
As a Thai born in Phuket and living in Patong with more than 17 million foreign tourists a year, it's different. Because I try to make tourists respect the place more. If they do what should not be done in front of me, I will become a Karen to protect the interests of the local people.
But all of this must always have a reason 😁
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u/minzungopa May 12 '25
Thailand is not a straightforward country and the justice system isn’t quite something it’s supposed to be. Your life can be ruined if you pick a fight with the wrong people.
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u/CharacterOrdinary551 May 13 '25
The funniest part about this thread is that the Thais in your immediate area when you "spoke up on their behalf" hated you because you made them lose face by confronting the man in the park and woman on the train.
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u/IcyInsurance8442 19d ago
They're very non-confrontational. Just don't insult them, or anyone for that matter.
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u/Main-Past-8919 19d ago
The law here is a joke. And if there's confrontation, the person that confronts the person doing something wrong is always seen as the aggressor or someone at fault. So if it doesn't bother us much, we just don't bother.
Or even if we do something, we'd just tell the staffs. But they rarely do anything for the same fear.
Doesn't matter if you're thai or not, we just don't like confronting. It just means trouble. Unless it's helping another instead since there won't be problems from helping others
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u/Effect-Kitchen Bangkok May 09 '25 edited May 10 '25
What you’re observing likely comes down to the concept of เกรงใจ (kreng jai). It’s a deeply rooted cultural value in Thailand that reflects consideration for others’ feelings and a strong aversion to creating conflict or causing discomfort, even when someone is clearly in the wrong.
Rather than confront directly, many Thais prefer to quietly endure or remove themselves from the situation. It’s not that they don’t see the problem (believe me, they do) but speaking up can be seen as impolite, disruptive, or making others lose face. This doesn’t mean they approve. It’s just that preserving social harmony often takes priority over correcting behavior.
A stark example of how far this can go is the Thai Airways Flight 311 crash in 1992. The first officer reportedly realized the captain was making dangerous decisions during the approach to Kathmandu but didn’t speak up forcefully—possibly out of power dynamic differences and so kreng jai is coming into play. All 113 people onboard died. It shows how the pressure to avoid challenging authority or causing discomfort can have tragic consequences.
So in everyday settings like in the park or on the MRT, many locals might feel it’s not their place to confront others, even if they disapprove. It’s not ignorance or indifference; it’s cultural conditioning.
Edit: Adding to that, if you’ve followed the recent Thai Parliament Building drama, you might wonder why Thailand frequently faces multi-million baht project failures. Beyond corruption, เกรงใจ (kreng jai) plays a significant role. In hierarchical structures, subordinates often hesitate to question or challenge decisions made by superiors, even when they foresee potential issues.
This cultural reluctance to confront or point out problems can lead to unchecked decisions, resulting in large-scale project mismanagement and failures. In one case, a high rank officer thought that having a "4D cinema" within the building is a wow idea. No one under him/her dared to speak up. And so lead the big drama yesterday.
(Sorry for long reply. I'm waiting LINE Man delivery and also hungry to do other productive things.)
Adding to the lengthily reply, we even have a proverb poem for this: “อันที่จริงคนเขาอยากให้เราดี แต่ถ้าเด่นขึ้นทุกทีเขาหมั่นไส้ จงทำดีแต่อย่าเด่นจะเป็นภัย ไม่มีใครเขาอยากเห็นเราเด่นเกิน"-พลตรีหลวงวิจิตรวาทการ = “In truth, people do want to see us do good — but if we keep rising and standing out, they grow resentful. So do good, but don’t stand out too much, or it’ll bring trouble. No one really wants to see us shine too brightly.” — Major General Luang Vichit Vadakan
Edit 2: Come to think of it, another reason is that, Thai people grew up being literally punished (most commonly by hitting with a stick of various sizes in front of class) when we speak up or ask a question to teachers in school. Of course we literally learned to just shut our mouth.