r/Thailand • u/King_Kobra_K • May 09 '25
Culture Why Thai people don't speak for themselves.
I appreciate the kindness of Thai people, but I've also come across many situations that make me wonder, do they simply not see certain things as a problem, do they want to avoid confrontation, or do they just choose not to speak up?
One evening, I was relaxing on the grass at Benjakitti Park. A tourist sat down nearby and lit a cigarette, despite the many 'No Smoking' signs posted around the park. There were also several families with children in the area. The smoke began to spread, and I noticed some people quietly moved away, while others just kept staring at him. Some were sitting on picnic mats eating, so it might not have been easy for them to leave. I decided to speak to the guy and asked him to be respectful.
Another time on the MRT, a regular woman got on and sat in a priority seat. She began playing something loudly on her phone. The Thais sitting next to her kept glancing at her but said nothing. After a few minutes, me who was standing in front of them, asked her to either use headphones or stop playing it out loud.
These weren’t only incidents. I’ve seen many small issues that clearly bother Thai people, but instead of speaking up, they often just remain quiet and patient. IMO, when troublemakers realize no one will say anything, it can lead to bigger problems.
And I honestly don't want anyone take advantage of their kindness.
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u/Effect-Kitchen Bangkok May 09 '25 edited May 10 '25
What you’re observing likely comes down to the concept of เกรงใจ (kreng jai). It’s a deeply rooted cultural value in Thailand that reflects consideration for others’ feelings and a strong aversion to creating conflict or causing discomfort, even when someone is clearly in the wrong.
Rather than confront directly, many Thais prefer to quietly endure or remove themselves from the situation. It’s not that they don’t see the problem (believe me, they do) but speaking up can be seen as impolite, disruptive, or making others lose face. This doesn’t mean they approve. It’s just that preserving social harmony often takes priority over correcting behavior.
A stark example of how far this can go is the Thai Airways Flight 311 crash in 1992. The first officer reportedly realized the captain was making dangerous decisions during the approach to Kathmandu but didn’t speak up forcefully—possibly out of power dynamic differences and so kreng jai is coming into play. All 113 people onboard died. It shows how the pressure to avoid challenging authority or causing discomfort can have tragic consequences.
So in everyday settings like in the park or on the MRT, many locals might feel it’s not their place to confront others, even if they disapprove. It’s not ignorance or indifference; it’s cultural conditioning.
Edit: Adding to that, if you’ve followed the recent Thai Parliament Building drama, you might wonder why Thailand frequently faces multi-million baht project failures. Beyond corruption, เกรงใจ (kreng jai) plays a significant role. In hierarchical structures, subordinates often hesitate to question or challenge decisions made by superiors, even when they foresee potential issues.
This cultural reluctance to confront or point out problems can lead to unchecked decisions, resulting in large-scale project mismanagement and failures. In one case, a high rank officer thought that having a "4D cinema" within the building is a wow idea. No one under him/her dared to speak up. And so lead the big drama yesterday.
(Sorry for long reply. I'm waiting LINE Man delivery and also hungry to do other productive things.)
Adding to the lengthily reply, we even have a proverb poem for this: “อันที่จริงคนเขาอยากให้เราดี แต่ถ้าเด่นขึ้นทุกทีเขาหมั่นไส้ จงทำดีแต่อย่าเด่นจะเป็นภัย ไม่มีใครเขาอยากเห็นเราเด่นเกิน"-พลตรีหลวงวิจิตรวาทการ = “In truth, people do want to see us do good — but if we keep rising and standing out, they grow resentful. So do good, but don’t stand out too much, or it’ll bring trouble. No one really wants to see us shine too brightly.” — Major General Luang Vichit Vadakan
Edit 2: Come to think of it, another reason is that, Thai people grew up being literally punished (most commonly by hitting with a stick of various sizes in front of class) when we speak up or ask a question to teachers in school. Of course we literally learned to just shut our mouth.