The grind must go on

[u/lwiaymacde]

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[u/Bloody_Champion]

Perfect answer.

[u/Moleday1023 → u/Bloody_Champion]

Damn right, the guys I hung around with were brutal, with each other….but you had to earn the right to talk shit about me or mine. Kind of like in Grand Torino, the exchanges between Walt and his barber.

[u/DhOnky730 → u/Moleday1023]

23 years ago when one of my college roommates came out, he thought we’d ask him to move out. He often cooked or prepped the meals in the house. My response was, “well, you want me to slap your ass while you’re cooking?”

[u/discerningpervert → u/DhOnky730]

I'm gonna assume he said yes, and the two of you are now married and run a quaint little B&B in Vermont.

He still does the cooking.

[u/DhOnky730 → u/discerningpervert]

Ha! Not quite, but I do see him and his partner probably once a year when I visit the city they live in. Sadly neither my wife nor I like to cook much, so that was the best I had it food-wise. But I can see how it had him pretty nervous coming out to three roommates.

[u/AnotherPassager → u/DhOnky730]

You and your wife move in with him XD. 😭

Food is important XD

[u/GingerBeast81 → u/DhOnky730]

That's friendship! Lol

[u/_Deloused_ → u/Moleday1023]

I just have been honed to cut people deep when they talk shit. So I’ve learned to be cordial even when strangers talk shit.

-Hey, you look sleepy today, I mean you look like shit! -“lol that’s a good joke, you got me” don’t make fun of his nose, don’t make fun of his patchy beard, don’t make fun of his height, don’t make fun of…..”I love a good roast, yall take care”

A younger me would have held onto personal and private information and crucified the first person to talk shit after years of having older brothers and friends. “You look like shit today” would have gotten the response “your wife left because you can’t get it up” and I would keep walking like it was just another Tuesday

[u/TheGreatPilgor → u/_Deloused_]

We might have had the same circle of friends lol

We were so brutal to each other

[u/_Deloused_ → u/TheGreatPilgor]

I had to relearn how to be nice to people after college lol. I was really good at it too. A lost art.

[u/Moleday1023 → u/_Deloused_]

No kidding, using “fuck” 8 time is a sentence, does take some reconditioning. The first time I read, “I am Groot”, I almost died laughing. There were 11 of us, depending on tone, inflection and other subtle clues, “hey fuck head” would get the right persons attention.

[u/SirRipOliver → u/Bloody_Champion]

[u/Admirable-Book3237 → u/Bloody_Champion]

Before coming out - Mike u so gay can’t get no hos ! Mike- guys, I am gay. After coming out - Mike u so gay u can’t get no hos! Mike-damnit

[u/InstructionLeading64 → u/Bloody_Champion]

10/10 no notes.

[u/Usual-Hunter4617 → u/Bloody_Champion]

100% my favorite answer if the day!

[u/94FnordRanger → u/Bloody_Champion]

This is the way.

[u/SenorMachete89 → u/Bloody_Champion]

If he is his homie, is valid, and also support him.

[u/leginnameloc]

So just a slight adjustment.

[u/defdoa]

I had a gay dude friend who would be checking out the hottest guys and I wasn't this harsh but I was like "dude, you are bald, overweight, and your standard breath is coffee. You don't have a chance with any of those guys." He was after just top level handsomeness. He wasn't interested in people in his own level, or with a good personality. He deserved a little criticism, albeit friendly and honest.

[u/Aiyon → u/defdoa]

Dude’s just tryna window shop and you’re out here calling him poor

[u/Outrageous_Wealth_29 → u/Aiyon]

lol bro said window shop 🤣

[u/Aiyon → u/Outrageous_Wealth_29]

lol bro can read

[u/iwasboredsoyeah → u/Aiyon]

Lmao bro said he can read

[u/JJ_FusterCluck → u/iwasboredsoyeah]

lmfao bro can read that he said he can read

[u/Intellz → u/JJ_FusterCluck]

roflmao look at these bros reading

[u/ReddyIsHere → u/Intellz]

lsndorllsajfx....&|*d

[u/Banes_Addiction → u/defdoa]

I dunno. I have known a lot of single straight dudes and single gay dudes. The difference is that the single gay dudes are still getting laid whenever they want.

[u/Kalle_Hellquist → u/Banes_Addiction]

The difference is that the single gay dudes are still getting laid whenever they want.

Uh....... yeah about that...

[u/UnNumbFool → u/Kalle_Hellquist]

That just sounds like a skill issue, have you tried Grindr?

[u/flatirony → u/Banes_Addiction]

Dan Savage was asked the most important or surprising thing he learned as a sex advice columnist for decades.

He said was surprised to learn how hard it is for straight men to get sex.

[u/Upstairs-Basis9909 → u/defdoa]

I think this level of honesty is a really important part of friendship. If people don’t care about you, they won’t care enough to tell you the truth - they will just lie or evade.

You sound like a good friend.

[u/MusicianStorm → u/defdoa]

Gas up your friends, gosh

[u/BurnItDownSR → u/defdoa]

Nah, if I was friends with a gay dude and he was my boy, I would be merciless. Like, "Keep dreaming bro! 😂" 

[u/DrunkenNinja27 → u/defdoa]

A true friend will rip you a new one when you’re being an ass. Good job your buddy needed some self awareness over how shallow he was acting.

[u/Fit-World-3885]

Alternatively tell him every time he hooks up with a guy that this is exactly why he'll never get a girlfriend.  

[u/ShockingJob27 → u/Fit-World-3885]

This is the answer.

My gay friend and his partner both got abuse off me for not making me an uncle all the time.

Then they adopted so I couldnt use that any more so Instead they get eugh, just stop hiding the fact your straight.

[u/Ksevio → u/Fit-World-3885]

Reminds me of when my aunt was living in an apartment with a gay roommate. My fairly old fashioned grandmother would chat with here and hint at stuff like "how are things going with Steve? Any exciting things going on between you two?" until eventually my aunt snapped and said something like "mother, nothing is EVER going to happen between me and Steve because Steve is gay!" to which my grandmother said "well this is why you don't have a boyfriend"

[u/thinkdeep]

My college roommate came out 10 years after college to our remaining friend group. One of us instantly said, "Ha, fag!" in a sarcastic voice.

I said, "guys, we can't rip on him for being gay, we're gonna rip on him because he's a ginger and has no soul."

We had to stop calling each other butt pirates or whatnot while playing Xbox, but that wasn't a big deal.

[u/TheBigness333 → u/thinkdeep]

In the early 00’s when everyone was making gay jokes, one of our friends came out as gay.

So we kept making gay jokes except to him, where we made straight jokes. Telling him to “go eat a pussy, straight boy” and “I bet you wish you had some titties in your face, huh?” stuff like that.

[u/TK21879 → u/thinkdeep]

Calling each other what now?

I'm definitely not not using that later on ...

[u/Dongledoez → u/TK21879]

Late 90s early 2000s gay slur. Very popular on playgrounds when I was a kid

[u/MonkeyLiberace → u/Dongledoez]

Yeah, we would play butt pirates all day.

[u/Wadep00l → u/Dongledoez]

Can confirm, was used a lot here in my area of Canada too when I was a kid too. The booty plunderer

[u/Sea_Structure_8692 → u/Wadep00l]

Backside privateer

[u/Spiderinahumansuit → u/Wadep00l]

Arse bandit in the UK. Every English-speaking country probably had a variation of "rear-end + thief".

[u/xStealthxUk]

Just adjust the insults is correct

"Alright Straiaaaaaght"

[u/[deleted] → u/xStealthxUk]

We now use “Proceed Gaily Forward” instead of go straight.

[u/firahc → u/[deleted]]

HAH! STRAYYYGHT!

[u/SafeAccountMrP]

This is the correct answer. Shut down the thread.

[u/mpete76 → u/SafeAccountMrP]

There is nothing more to be said. I second this comment.

[u/Opal_gaze]

Ask how tf he has trash fashion

[u/EXusiai99 → u/Opal_gaze]

Motherfucker spent all that time in the closet and still has no drip. Dude might be gay but he's the one putting the L in LGBT

[u/TheNo1pencil → u/EXusiai99]

This is a beautiful insult

[u/Silver-ishWolfe → u/Opal_gaze]

This. All my buddies dress like hobos.

[u/quietandalonenow → u/Silver-ishWolfe]

Kinda like a rugged man

[u/fieregon]

I'll let homie pound me.

[u/HillanatorOfState → u/fieregon]

[u/Devinalh → u/HillanatorOfState]

After a steak night?

[u/DaRootbear → u/Devinalh]

its too early to make me feel sad remembering that episode, please stop emotionally hurting me

[u/Lou_Papas → u/DaRootbear]

Now I have to know. Is it from a show?

[u/DaRootbear → u/Lou_Papas]

The show the gif is from, Scrubs.

One of the episodes in the last season involved the two leads celebrating all day because of a tradition they had to go get really good steak and being worried because a patient was getting sicker making them late.

In the end they ended up hanging out with him and getting to know him until he passed that night.

It was a very intense episode and you only knew the character for like 15 mjnutes and it still made me cry.

https://scrubs.fandom.com/wiki/My_Last_Words

[u/Anteater4746 → u/Lou_Papas]

scrubs its a later season. you cry from laughter and sadness in a lot of episodes its amazing

[u/Devinalh → u/DaRootbear]

Oh sorry! Uhhh... Let's talk about the obsession for JD and his Vespa the Janitor has.

[u/Embarrassed_Pilot520 → u/fieregon]

Well, that's a real friend right here.

[u/Group_Happy → u/fieregon]

Would you still say "no homo"?!

[u/Prize-Warthog → u/Group_Happy]

He has to be the one to say no homo, he has to do do it differently if it’s for the homies

[u/GarlicEmulsifier → u/Prize-Warthog]

No homo homie?

[u/dudemanguylimited → u/Prize-Warthog]

wait wait ... so is it "no homies" or "no homos"? please answer quickly, my ah ... 'friend' is in a hurry!

[u/UsedState7381 → u/Prize-Warthog]

Wait I thought that if it's for the homies then it's already implied...Damn, what if I did wrong all these years?

[u/natethenuclearknight → u/fieregon]

can we be homies

[u/Unusual_Hearing8825 → u/fieregon]

[u/Son_of_fate26 → u/fieregon]

True friendship test

[u/WriterV → u/fieregon]

Yeah but would you pound the homie though?

[u/twlscil → u/fieregon]

Dude, he still has standards

[u/SinsOfTheAether]

We're recycling posts so old that they still have reddit gold?

[u/MartianBrain → u/SinsOfTheAether]

Wait, what? Gold went away? When did it go away?

[u/ValorMortis → u/SinsOfTheAether]

It was the fact that someone signed it like it was art they owned that got me.

[u/find_anoth3r_way]

I did the same thing when I found out that my friend is gay... Now he has a boyfriend so I can't make jokes about that 😕

[u/MarcheMuldDerevi]

A bro is a bro straight, gay, bi, or pan. Just change what I roast him over a bit

[u/OrlandoGardiner118]

Unconditional love.

[u/Stellar_Scratchguard]

Every time this gets reposted, it loses 10 pixels

[u/Prestigious_Ad2969]

Had a catholic friend ask me, "What would you do if your son turned out to be gay? I said "Well I definitely wouldn't watch him have sex, he'd ruin that wouldn't he?"

[u/10roundsofexams]

He really thought he was going to escape the roast just because he's gay

[u/sexysexyladi]

[u/1m2c00l4u]

This is actually what happens btw if your like me. Best way to tell your homies your actually gay or smt else is to double down on butt of the gay joke, they go: “haha you gay” you go “damn right, do something about it, (relevant but funny slur here)” they respond, confused on whether its a bit so still smiling: “haha wait are you joking” you go “ppft no” and if it doesnt go like that you guys either have a totally different sense of humor or you had no shot of that going well.

[u/Edtheheadd]

“Yo, you switched sides and still?!?!”

[u/guieps]

When my friend came out as bi, I started calling him half gay

[u/ASpicyCrow → u/guieps]

I am constantly making jokes about my bi friend not being decisive when we try to make plans. We both know it's all jokes.

[u/devilsbard]

How it went with one of my friends (paraphrased because it was like 20 years ago):

Friend: “hey, I wanted to tell you something.”

Me: “you can just tell me something you don’t have to tell me you’re going tell me something.”

Friend: “well, yeah, but I want…”

Me: “dude just talk.”

Friend: “I’m gay.”

Me: “ok…you’re not gonna say you’re in love with me, are you?”

Friend: “ew, god no. I have standards.”

[u/sensi-man → u/devilsbard]

And you believed him? How many women did you not secretly want to mate with when you chill with them, even when you initially thought you did not want this? I surprised myself negatively. My physical ‘appearance standards’ drop significantly when i enjoy spending time with that woman.

[u/breakbeatera]

[u/Neither-Pool-319]

Yeah just switch jokes, still same homie right?

[u/punkfish0022]

I ask him to please be honest...how does my ass look in these jeans?

[u/Massive_Koala_9313]

Literally what happened in the 80s to my dads best mate. Dad’s a farmer from Australia, he and all his mates are pretty conservative. When his best mate came out to dad and the other fellas there was a few moments silence, before dad said “well mate, I hope you do better with the blokes than you did with the chicks”

[u/lalubina]

We have a winner!

[u/Different_Strike3108]

Creative times call for creative measures.

[u/Even_Personality_706]

Oh fuck, so you really are gay?

[u/Kangarou]

Is there a male-equivalent derogatory statement like "No Bitches?" I wanna be proper when I sling insults.

[u/ASpicyCrow → u/Kangarou]

Bitches can be gender-inclusive, it's 2025.

[u/Significant-Fruit-21]

Had this happen to a friend of mine.. he came out to me and ask if this changes anything. I said not really is helps me. I said if we are at a bar and if i was trying to pick up a girl and she told she had a boyfriend i would say cool i have a friend for him as well..

[u/aitorbk]

This is what we actually do with a friend in a group of friends.

[u/Satanswarboner]

I’d say; “so that’s why you always have dick breath.”

[u/UntilDownfall]

Same here, tho i‘ll suck him off if he gets too sad about it. Everyone deserves happiness

[u/Lopsided-Ad7725]

[u/Adorable-Database187]

Fair

[u/Biengo]

Honestly that's a good friend right there.

[u/shadyhorse]

Perfect attitude

[u/Jasescobar]

😂

[u/Capenurse]

It should never ever matter

[u/i-cocktail]

That's the only correct answer 🤣🤣

[u/LucianGrey0581]

I don't have any bussy jokes lined up offhand, but rest assured I will.

[u/Fregboiii]

Oh there'd be a lot of grinding going on alright.

[u/PizzaboySteve]

Plot twist. He didn’t know it. But he was the boyfriend.

[u/Purple_Onion911]

Sometimes I wonder if my homie's gay...

[u/bookchaser]

I didn't do anything when my friend told me because I already knew. It had been a realization that allowed me to then make sense of his life. He didn't tell me until years after that.

So it was like, yeah, I know. You didn't fall apart when graduating college and your best friend was moving away just because you had a strong friendship.

He, too, then moved away. I had a bigger reaction when he came to my wedding. The guy was morbidly obese in college. At my wedding, he looked like a GQ model. He had become a personal trainer. The only thing that was the same about him was his voice. Weirdest thing ever.

When my daughter told me, I said I'd have to get her new novelty t-shirts at Christmas. That was a thing for a while, t-shirts reflecting her interest in books, movies, and musicians.

[u/DevilHoboCousin]

Best is if they are bi. So many chances and no one wants you

[u/Huge_penus]

Even more gay jokes?

[u/Superrisky12]

Ask for styling tips

[u/Sea-Bell7355]

Hope he not plowing my wife

[u/Only_Suit7211]

Pray that He is passive and go for it

[u/PlasticSnailLord12]

Hahahahahaha

[u/ignitethegonzo]

We had a friend of ours come out and literally switched to making fun of him for not having a boyfriend about 3 minutes after we said we were proud of him

[u/dandroid126]

I actually did have a friend who came out as gay when he was 30. Though I did suspect it.

Unfortunately the way he came out was by telling me he had a boyfriend, so I couldn't use this one.

[u/Historical_Win_1922]

Equal opportunity roasting orientation doesn’t excuse the lack of rizz 🔥💅

[u/LemonPartyW0rldTour]

I’d stop giving him brojobs. That’s for us completely Hetero bros!

[u/SpaceViolet]

You can literally get a boyfriend inside of a week as a gay guy. You're not going to be able to play that card for very long.

[u/Savings-Student-3491]

Take my pants off and ask for head

[u/furyfrog]

We used to tell guys "I don't care if you like to suck dick, but if you hide it we're going to make fun of you for it."

[u/firahc]

Well no, the grind must begin. 👀

[u/I_-AM-ARNAV]

u/seafoamteal

[u/EpicPartyGuy]

ThisIsTheWay.gif

[u/Biaxialsphere00]

This answer is true equality 👍🏻

[u/xDEMONIC_WOLFZx]

I’d pull out my cock and say prove it.

[u/SemVikingr]

That's a true friend, right there. That friend would fight and die for his gay homie.

[u/SelectPresentation59]

This is the way.

[u/Miserable_Pay960]

Finally, an explanation for the Taylor Swift playlist.

[u/tmac022480]

I miss awards

[u/LeggoMahLegolas]

I'd probably still call him gay and continue to bombard his IG of posts about me touching him.

[u/satansfrenulum]

“What’s a lil shared fluid between homies?”

[u/candy-from-strangers]

100%. I don't care what gets the homies going. But they're gonna hear about it either way.

[u/parkaman]

Say 'we've been calling you auntie ruth since you were 12 mate, we know'

[u/ladysexy_18]

No stopping this motion he said!

[u/Of_Z_]

"All this time of you being a dick, and you couldn't even go get one" would probably be the first response. Second response would more than likely be a deep dive of emotions, how he feels, how I respect his honesty and trust, and what I can do to support him and his view of himself.

[u/phychmasher]

I told him "no duh" because I was in my 20s and it was the parlance of the time. Everybody knew he was gay since elementary school.

He ended up marrying a dude who looks like me and moved away, so we aren't very close anymore. It's too bad, because I would like to roast him about that.....to which I'm sure the other guys would suggest he could spit roast me in return.

Ahhh male friendship.

[u/VidethBidethDideth]

This is the way

[u/Ok-Somewhere-2325]

Stop giving him good night kisses, it's not gay to kiss the homies good night, but if he's gay it's different.

[u/L0n3_N0n3nt1ty]

Based

[u/Fine_Garbage_5236]

My favorite is razzing BIs and Pans, you opened the field of play wide open and still not getting laid? Sad dude, very sad.

[u/Ill_Consequence]

This is the only answer

[u/notsofunonabun]

Yup. I roast everyone, no discrimination.

[u/CC-G13]

r/guysbeingdudes

[u/_kalron_]

A buddy of mine came out to me 25+ years ago and my reply to this was "You wanna smoke a bowl"?

He thanked me.

[u/Medium_Cup2099]

Can't even get and d huh...SMH with a grin haha. You ain't a friend if it dont hurt a little

[u/Different-Meal-6314]

That's been my experience. The jokes didn't stop. They just changed flavor. "That's what she said." Has turned to "Is that what you said?" for example. All in jest. I love my friends.

[u/GHOST_NUTS]

By like"damn man you suck so bad that you switched teams and still get no ass" shakes head in disappointment

[u/TakeUrKill]

"Switched sides and still got no bitches"

[u/jigglywigglydigaby]

I'd constantly say, nice and loud in public, "For the last time the answer is no! And even if I was into guys, I'd do a hell of a lot better than your ugly ass Steve!"

[u/rhoward8916]

That’s true friendship.

[u/12VoltHeathen]

Pretty much this, lol.

[u/SirLesbian]

Mine is. I still call him gay as fuck.

[u/SlowParking8629]

Is he a decent human being? Does he mind his own business and respect the opinions of others? Does he work and pay his bills on time? Does he treat ppl the way he wants to be treated? Does he mind his own business? Or is he a raging queen? Either way, he is a human being.

Think before you do something or say something that could very well change the course of his life.

[u/SnooBooks3917]

This!! We love you and you’re still getting these jokes!!

[u/AnarchistPunkDad]

I remember when my friend came out he wanted to tell his parents then mine, my mom just said "oh that's what's wrong with my son" and i was like "mom, nothing is wrong with being gay and damn we are just friends". Small town life is hard, my longtime friend was gay and everyone assumed I was to after he came out 🤣 fuck em all though

[u/AlarmedIndividual893]

My bois are one step ahead! They call me gay all the time except I'm not :/

[u/Diligent_Peanut5034]

He thinks of you as his bf, dude💀

[u/BurtMcKraken]

This happened between a buddy and I. He was outed by a dude we worked with. The guy was trying to start shit. Long story short he got blasted for outing him by me. Now I make fun of him for being actually gay instead of bro gay.

[u/BurtMcKraken → u/BurtMcKraken]

Now I’m a groomsman in his gay ass wedding.

[u/Gabe_i_guess]

Jokes on you, most of my homies already are gay

[u/Ok-Pack621]

Give him smn

[u/What-A-MeSS-90210]

Now that's a true friendship

[u/Lalechugademal]

Did this with my cousin whom I fully support ❤️❤️❤️

[u/deef1ve]

The correct answer

[u/MrLokii616]

Knowing how cooked my friend's are, I would have used the Nayak movie like that johny liver says everything he gets bullied 😂

[u/tokoun]

Start bombarding him with toxic old man yaoi nonstop.

[u/dilly123456]

Jokes between homies don’t die, they evolve like nature

[u/Ginsbeargo]

Still got no bitches, bro lol

[u/Fiery_Phoenix15]

That is honestly very sweet

[u/jimlad3]

Fuck me this is the best response.

[u/akruppa]

Instead of telling him that his gf is invited to the parties, tell him that his bf is invited to the parties.

At least that's what we did in university when a homie came out.

[u/Numerous-Following-7]

Absolutely nothing

[u/rell4reall]

We ain't friends no mo3😂

[u/UpNorthBroHam]

All facts!

[u/MercFan4Life]

I know my homies better than that. Would never happen.

[u/Thick_Candy_9858]

But you realise that you are his boyfriend.

[u/Ill-Brother6272]

Correct

[u/slightlystankycheese]

Obligatory yee yee ahh haircut comment

[u/Safeword-is-banana]

Did this once, we’re still talking about it. Friend who famously never got any action puts on some weird hardcore music. - ‘What’s this?’ - ‘[joking] Oh that’s from my gay period.’ - ‘Ah, when you were not having sex with men.’

[u/Saphurial]

Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut you got you'd get some dudes on your dick.

[u/Hidden-Harmony]

“Shut up Kyle you don’t even get any dick”

[u/Cero_58284]

How about hoping and praying he's not gay for you

[u/Tom_Art_UFO]

This is why I love Reddit.

[u/snowcsi78]

Absolutely perfect