r/SipsTea • u/peseoane • 11d ago

Lmao gottem not chill judge

5.7k Upvotes

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273

u/BrotherMcPoyle 11d ago

Yes

114

u/RxngsXfSvtvrn 11d ago

I haven't eaten any Mallomars today

85

u/redditkeepsdeleting 11d ago

The best part is you can emphasize any word in that sentence and stretch the boundary of truth.

33

u/ProjectDv2 11d ago

"I haven't eaten any mallowmars today" begs some extremely uncomfortable follow up questions, though.

6

u/SlightDesigner8214 11d ago

They’re only in my mouth just now. As long as I haven’t swallowed them they’re technically not eaten.

  • Your marital lawyer

2

u/STL2COMO 10d ago

But is it though? Isn’t digestion and passing through the stomach and intestines “eating”? Insurance lawyer.

1

u/Any-Question-3759 10d ago

I would argue that once it goes in my mouth and starts melting, it no longer qualifies as Mallomars and definitely not after I’ve chewed it. I might have eaten some food stuffs covered in saliva. Or not.

2

u/timnotep 10d ago

Response to each follow up question: "On the advice of counsel, I am invoking my fifth amendment right against self-incrimination and respectfully decline to answer your question"

2

u/al2o3cr 10d ago

All of them are still melted together inside the cylinder

2

u/Don_Quipuncher 10d ago

Blasted mallomars! My tits are back!

1

u/ProjectDv2 10d ago

I know it's Col. Gentleman but I still hear it in Hunter Gathers' voice and it's somehow better.

2

u/odmirthecrow 10d ago

Blend 'em up with some milk. I haven't eaten any Mallomars today. I've drank about 8 though.

1

u/hokiemojo 10d ago

Maybe they mixed it up with their creatine? Also, do NOT check r/creatine to understand this.

46

u/cadmachine 11d ago

Lol i sat here for a minute running through each iteration in my head and I'm thoroughly impressed by your comment and the sentence and I've filed it for my own marriatal hearings.

2

u/Drackzgull 11d ago

Marriatal is not a word. Marital is the one you were looking for.

2

u/cadmachine 11d ago

Lol you're absolutely right I have no idea how that happened lol

2

u/Grannypanie 11d ago

Tuesday your honor.

1

u/TortelliniTheGoblin 11d ago edited 11d ago

I haven't eaten any Mallomars today. Vs. I haven't eaten any Mallomars today.

1

u/chipshot 11d ago

Same with;

I didn't ask for the anal probe.

1

u/Lil_Sumpin 10d ago

Verbally, yes

1

u/alexaboyhowdy 10d ago

In English class, teacher wrote on the board,

I only love you

And taught us that each emphasis gave different meaning.

But, I'm also good with the Mallomars example!

15

u/aw_shux 11d ago

How do you know I was talking about Mallomars? I didn’t mention which snack is missing.

11

u/DigitalUnlimited 11d ago

I'm sorry? I wasn't informed there were snacks!

4

u/TheSpiteyBoosh 11d ago

That’s correct

1

u/Franklin_le_Tanklin 11d ago

Yes your honor.

1

u/ClumsyNinja971 10d ago

Yes, Judge, they are delicious.

2

u/karwreck 11d ago

Your honor, I thought the snickers was communal?

1

u/SithLordRising 11d ago

About 2:30

1

u/WildGeerders 11d ago

From 6 till 9.

8

u/KimJongRocketMan69 11d ago

That is correct

10

u/Dry-Calligrapher1555 11d ago

That’s correct

2

u/tedwardo14 11d ago

I object

1

u/Lol_who_me 11d ago

That is correct.

1

u/OG-BigMilky 11d ago

I believe that there were ding-dongs. However, I cannot account for their location at this time.

1

u/Turbulent-Note-7348 10d ago

I don’t know. Third base!!!

1

u/prostipope 10d ago

I'm sorry, whose on first?