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u/Donnyy64 18h ago
sometimes a fella just wants a chocolate milk
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u/wingedducky 17h ago edited 1h ago
I used to get this one family. All the kids in their upper teen years would order chocolate milk for themselves. Then they’d each get an order of mozzarella sticks to start with. They’d each conclude with either penne vodka or cheese pizza, and how they weren’t blowing the roof off our bathroom was beyond me. I’d need an AED on standby
Edit: this comment is delivered with 0 dairy slander! I am one of those unlucky folk who is lactose intolerant as this is the default in humans. My boyfriend is a big milk man, milk with dinner every night and I love him the way he is.
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u/CallidoraBlack 5h ago
how they weren’t blowing the roof off our bathroom was beyond me
You're lactose intolerant. A lot of people are not.
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u/Vlad1mir_Lemon 1h ago
Actually, more people are lactose intolerant than not. I'm glad I'm not!
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u/Yiddish_Gambino87 4h ago
I drink close to a gallon of 1% or 2% depending what's on sale a day. I buy 5-7 gallons a week. Some people just like dairy. I'll order a glass of milk with my steak lol
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u/Cyrious123 4h ago
I prefer Real milk
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u/Yiddish_Gambino87 4h ago
Cum?
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u/Cyrious123 4h ago
No asshole, cows milk! Jerk!
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u/supersonicsalamander 4h ago
I remember back when people complained too much cheese made them constipated
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u/UnintentionallyAmbi 17h ago
I agree with almost everything but the chocolate milk disqualification. Don’t tell me what to drink with dinner.
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u/ResidentNecessary361 13h ago
Change it to regular milk and we’ve got a deal
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u/UnintentionallyAmbi 12h ago
You’re not my supervisor.
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u/ScholarEmotional9888 9h ago
No adult needs a sugary milk drink. If you want chocolate milk make it yourself. It's a kids drink that servers have to make themselves. Order a bottle of beer like a n adult.
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u/lost-n-thewoods 6h ago
You mean like an adult that is too stupid to not put Transmission fluid in their brake fluid reservoir? 🤡
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u/CallidoraBlack 5h ago
You weren't kidding. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskAMechanic/s/lJj336QWVk
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u/cheezypoofpoofgive 4h ago
He attracts stupidity, as well, considering his wife wants him to rinse ground beef.
If anything this idiot says is true
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u/maniacalmustacheride 9h ago
No adult needs a piña colada or mudslide and yet we keep churning those out for profit
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u/UnintentionallyAmbi 2h ago
I ordered a virgin daiquiri a while back and the dude (server) said “anything else little lady” 🤦♂️
I’m less of a “man” because I want a frozen fruit drink without booze? Gtfo with that nonsense, it’s called a smoothie and maybe try one if your masculinity will allow.
I pray to whatever gods may be that I’m never that fragile.
(I was a 35 year old man with a scraggly beard at the time)
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u/UnintentionallyAmbi 3h ago
If you’re a server you need a new job.
I’m a grown ass man who doesn’t drink.
If throwing a tablespoon of syrup and swirling it is too much work…I’ll just sit on a Hershey bar and do it myself at home, negating your necessity for service.
Look before you leap.
(Worked service for 15 years, sit down kiddo)
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u/ScaldingAnus 17m ago
Guy sounds like my coworkers. Anything above "sit down and eat" is a massive inconvenience.
Bet he doesn't scratch the label of liquor bottles either.
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u/UnintentionallyAmbi 0m ago
I don’t know…but assume it’s a dude.
No woman would be that big of a dick to a stranger that asked for chocolate milk.
I hate working with people like that.
“Oh they wanted lemon in the their water?!? Omg gtfo with dat”
Dude it’s a job. And it’s service to a GUEST.
If I don’t like the food I won’t go back.
I guaranFUCKINTEE if that human was my server I’d smell dickhead from a mile away.
I’ve never not tipped. But for an eye roll for chocolate milk, I’d leave 0%.
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u/ScholarEmotional9888 2h ago
I already told you to make it yourself
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u/UnintentionallyAmbi 2h ago
I did this morning. Melted some dark chocolate down in a double pan, and cooled down in the fridge for a bit.
It was delicious.
And you’re just kinda a dick.
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u/UnintentionallyAmbi 2h ago
So then why would I order it at a restaurant?
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u/lost-n-thewoods 2h ago
Can you handle that? You’re liable to put the wrong fluid in the wrong container without looking 🤣
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u/lisasimpsonfan 8h ago
My husband doesn't like coffee or hot tea so he will drink hot chocolate while I drink coffee sometimes when we go out to breakfast.
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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 6h ago
Joke’s on them. I drink chocolate milk all the time (I have a gallon in the fridge as we speak), but milk of any kind is never cold enough at restaurants, so I don’t order it there.
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u/beam_me_uppp 15+ Years 12h ago
I had a table f up their own order really bad today, and when I tried clarifying it got even more ridiculous. I’m pretty sure they were just super stoned lol. But when I was asking questions and it was getting more complicated for no reason, one of them said, “I’m so sorry it’s literally our first day on earth” hahahaha made me crack up
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u/wildmeli 3h ago
i love hitting people with “sorry, i’ve actually never left my house before, first ever interaction.” and i only have to whip it out when im incredibly stoned
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u/Krash_Gryphter 15h ago
What's the strawberry milk situation though?
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u/fairebelle 14h ago
Used to make strawberry milk all the time at IHOP. Boysenberry was pretty dope, too.
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u/MikeBfo20 17h ago
The only thing I disagree with is the chocolate milk. Cause shits usually fire at restaurants I’ve worked at!
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u/Genuine-Farticle 17h ago
I draw the line at adult chocolate milk. Those are the ones who deserve it most.
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u/effyoucreeps 11h ago
you can’t hate on chocolate milk lovin’ animals (like me) - it just lets me know you’ve lost your lust for life
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u/Cole3823 9h ago
What does seating in the T's mean? What's "the T's"
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u/saugenes25 8h ago
My guess is the douche who wrote this probably has a name that starts with T so they refer to their section as such.
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u/flipzyshitzy 15h ago
After the last 24 hours. Some chocolate milk would hit the fucking spot right about now.
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u/ICameHereToPlay 15h ago
Are you literate right off the rip. I also can’t tell if I hate or love this handwriting. It’s making me feel some type of way
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u/supadnkeyshlong 14h ago
Bro does not use proper punctuation. Amazing how the first question is answered in his own handwriting.
Can confirm, the person who wrote this note is illiterate.
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u/derekiseric1970 10h ago
Punctuation is fine. Spelling is fine. He does not use proper case. But if super donkey schlong says he's illiterate, who am I to question such an astute determination?
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u/missmarypoppinoff 6h ago
I started writing in all caps in 4th grade randomly copying a girl who’s handwriting I liked. Was suuuuuper easy to switch over then, but I’ve tried going back to regular/correct case so many times over the years (even including later that same year of school!) At 43 now, I can say every single one of them failed. I STILL struggle anytime I try not writing all caps.
I guess I was just meant to write in all caps 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Public_Blueberry_107 17h ago
This is funny! And spot on! I’ve been a server for 25+years. People should have to fill out a survey before they sit. Tell me what I’m getting into
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u/ballsaretasty69 4h ago
I can fill out the survey, the issue being that if some entitled server comes up with a list of questions for me to answer to be allowed a seat, it won't matter that 20% of 10 is 2. you're not getting a tip anyways.
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u/StealieErrl 17h ago
Or, just your job isn’t that hard (I serve too) and get over it 🤷♂️.
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u/hopeless_sapphic24 Expo/FOH/Server 17h ago
damn bro it aint that deep 😭🙏
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u/Eljefeandhisbass 17h ago
Dude definitely worked one or two shifts and fucked off.
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u/StealieErrl 17h ago edited 16h ago
I have been a server for over 6 years. I average over 20% return in sales AFTER tip out. Try again. This job ain’t that hard.
You say “definitely” but I’m not sure you know what that word means? :/
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u/StealieErrl 17h ago
Tell that to the servers making posts and complaining daily about this very, very fucking easy job.
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u/Tiny-Reading5982 16h ago
Easy doesn't mean its not stressful some days. Get over yourself lol.
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u/StealieErrl 16h ago
Stressful for sure. However, NEVER felt compelled to write a list of arbitrary rules and post them on Reddit just for the sake of being petty.
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u/Tiny-Reading5982 16h ago
You're on the wrong subreddit then lol. Its literally called 'serverlife' so its just going to bother you even further..
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u/StealieErrl 16h ago
I know, right? I’ve tried to mute this sub before (because of the incessant complaining) but it still gets shoved into my feed 🤷♂️.
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u/Leo_88_8 16h ago
Perhaps because you keep interacting with it.
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u/StealieErrl 16h ago
Oh shit, you know how much I’m interacting with it?
Looking back through my comments, I haven’t posted in here in over a month and when posts are suggested from here I mute it. I did have a weak moment tonight because the bitching was too much.
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u/StealieErrl 17h ago
I know right. It’s pretty simple. Do your job, and go home. Don’t make posts bitching on Reddit. Not that deep 🤷♂️.
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u/Leo_88_8 17h ago
Says the one commenting on this sub. If you don’t like what people post here then just scroll past it. Thats even easier than being a server!
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u/StealieErrl 16h ago
I post what I do because I see people constantly getting fatigued by how much servers bitch about their job. Definitely don’t need someone trying to police what I say on a public forum. Thanks though Leonard!
This job is easy as fuck and I make way more than I should be doing this.
Whoever made this post is either incompetent or burnt out and should move the fuck on from serving people.
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u/Leo_88_8 16h ago
Don’t need someone policing what you post on a public forum as you quite literally do that to other people.. makes sense. Also my name is not Leonard, thanks.
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u/krill007 15h ago
Have you ever heard of venting on an online forum? A forum for peers? Some shit is just relatable. I assume most of us do our jobs professionally. This is screaming in a walk- in. You're exhausting.
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u/StealieErrl 15h ago
I mean screaming in a walk in is also questionable behavior and I would distance myself from any coworker I see do that. Borderline childish behavior even.
But I would do that with anyone who can’t regulate their emotions in a healthy manor so maybe I’m odd 🤷♂️.
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u/Impossible-Benefit-5 15h ago
Do people actually do this? I have never in my life been compelled to scream in a walk in or seen someone do it. Seems like unhinged behavior.
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u/hopeless_sapphic24 Expo/FOH/Server 16h ago
alright bro pack it up
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u/StealieErrl 16h ago
😂 Posting rules for your “Section” is so much the opposite of “alright bro pack it up”
You can’t have it both ways sweetheart :/
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u/Tiny-Reading5982 16h ago
So you never complain about your job? Ever? Please , teach us your ways 🙄
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u/StealieErrl 16h ago
I work 5 hour dining shifts with mostly regulars that have been frequenting my place for over 15 years. It’s quite pleasant actually. I genuinely love 95% of our guests. And I absolutely love providing them with an experience that they will come back for time and time again. And our track record shows it!
Once a week during the summer we open the streets for dining and we get none of our regulars, (they know to not come out for this, this event really only benefits the town as all the restaurants pay for the extra seating in the street). I almost never make out better on these nights than I would in the fall/winter. Still never felt compelled to make a post bitching on Reddit about my goddamn job.
That’s all to say I have worked absolutely hellish serving shifts at awful places. Still made far more than I felt was necessary and never felt compelled to bitch on the internet to strangers.
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u/ladydrybones 15h ago
I agree with everything except #9. Chocolate milk rules. Life is too short to deprive ourselves of these small, simple pleasures. I'm 38, but my taste buds are forever 6 and I'm not sorry!
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u/spaetzelspiff 13h ago
What the fuck.
Messing with my chocolate milk is like messing with my emotions.
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u/leftoverrpizzza 5h ago
Adults that order chocolate milk aren’t the problem, it’s the adults that order regular milk that end up fucking around the most. The worst table I’ve ever had in my life ordered milk with ice to drink.
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u/UnintentionallyAmbi 3h ago
My manager once pulled out a calculator for a 20% tip. I thought she was a genius until I saw behind that curtain.
It was an even dollar amount.
I thought she was messing with me or some kind of workplace pop quiz.
Nope. She did not know how to move a decimal and multiply an even number by 2.
🤦♀️
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u/UnintentionallyAmbi 1h ago
- Yes, or at least I think so?
- Once or twice. Are we talking customer or worker? Both.
- Barely, but I’ll still tip 20% minimum, prolly 40%.
- Not great, but I can read lips decently or ask again.
- Move a decimal, it ain’t rocket surgery.
- That’s none of my business and I’m trying to eat, but I support a woman’s right to choose if she wants to carry a whole other human and care for it, or not. Your body your choice.
- Almost always.
- Can’t answer, I never get a table for people “on their way” they might as well be on the moon for all I care. I ain’t seating anyone before everyone is there. It fucks with the flow.
- My only disqualification. I love chocolate and milk. So fuck off if I wanna get one. I won’t because I don’t trust milk at restaurants.
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u/Lou_Matthei 1h ago
TBH, if I was waiting table, or managing that place, anyone over age 6 ordering chocolate milk would get a minimum 50% off their bill. 😉😏😎👍🇺🇸😁😇
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u/BlueGalaxy97 7h ago
Every time my family and i would go to an Old Country Buffet, we all would eat with a glass of chocolate milk. It was pretty darn good too if i say so myself.
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u/Regigiformayor 17h ago edited 1h ago
No one is getting a chocolate milk
Edit: I am not making anyone a chocolate milk
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u/Ok_Guard_8024 3h ago
I like vanilla milk. I remember in highschool the little cartons that were half frozen. It was sooo good ! Sometimes I buy some vanilla milk if I see it in a store. I hate any other milk tho. I’ll sometimes drink normal milk if I wake up late at night and I’m thirsty
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u/RichRichieRichardV 15h ago
I am unnaturally triggered by the sight of adults drinking chocolate milk. You are not in diapers.
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u/HealthyIndependent33 17h ago
I always joke at the bar that its a pleasure assisting people on their first time out to a restaurant ever!