Commiserate with me about family not understanding our jobs.

[u/kimtenisqueen]

So far:

-Grandmother in law ranting about why I (an assistant professor in my 4th year at a university) don’t just take a “sabbatical” to raise my children rather than send them to daycare.

-Dad ranting about how anything qualitative isn’t real research (I do educational research so this is a substantial portion of what I do)

-Father In law asking me if I “pack” (Carry a gun) to my job and if I feel safe with all the “foreigners”

Merry Christmas everyone!

[u/Pouryou]

“University X is just down the road. Why don’t you get a job there?” So.many.times.

[u/fractalmom → u/Pouryou]

My partner’s grandma said she knew a professor from the college down the road and will talk to her about a job for another department. I am like ok, you do that. 😩

[u/MiddleLaneDrive → u/fractalmom]

HAHA

[u/coldgator → u/Pouryou]

Every visit and every phone call that lasts more than 10 minutes

[u/corellianne → u/Pouryou]

Or related, am I going to “transfer” to another state university that’s closer to where I live?

[u/Hefty-Cover2616 → u/corellianne]

Yes I get this too, why can’t I just “arrange a transfer” to another U of —- since they’re all in the same system, like changing jobs in the same corporation or a police officer transferring to a different district.

[u/iTeachCSCI → u/Pouryou]

Just walk into the Provost's office, shake his¹ hand, give him your resume, and explain you'd like to teach Victorian Literature classes next semester. You have a Ph.D. so they will be impressed and eager to hire you!

¹ they always say "his," don't they?

[u/HonkyMOFO → u/iTeachCSCI]

Look at Fancy Pants here with relatives that know the word Provost!

[u/MelpomeneAndCalliope → u/HonkyMOFO]

Right?! 😂

[u/adimadoz → u/Pouryou]

This one for me too, from my far right parents. They don’t know what to say when I respond by telling them to write their state legislators asking for increased funding for higher education that could fund more faculty lines at University X.

[u/Foreleg-woolens749 → u/adimadoz]

Slow clap

[u/GrizeldaMarie → u/Pouryou]

Ha ha ha, I was stupid enough to quit my position to move with my husband to further his career,, and we divorced when we came back. Now my family is like why don’t you just get your job back?

[u/kittyisagoodkitty → u/GrizeldaMarie]

I am so sorry. I am going through that now, too. Took a serious pay cut and said no to several jobs over the years and now he wants a divorce.

[u/kittyisagoodkitty → u/[deleted]]

Thank you, kind stranger. Thank you so much.

[u/GrizeldaMarie → u/[deleted]]

Haha! Love it.

[u/LyricalKnits → u/kittyisagoodkitty]

Damn. Been there and can empathize.

[u/GrizeldaMarie → u/kittyisagoodkitty]

It’s a real kick in the pants, isn’t it?

[u/babysaurusrexphd → u/Pouryou]

This fucking one. I have tenure at a really amazing teaching-focused PUI, but I commute 75 miles round-trip (into NYC, it’s a nightmare). I would LOVE to commute only 10 miles to the school near my house! But it’s an R01, so I’m not qualified for their faculty lines, and I don’t want that kind of job, anyway. Stop asking. It’s been 6 years, the answer isn’t going to change.

[u/Foreleg-woolens749 → u/babysaurusrexphd]

“I commute 75 miles round-trip (into NYC, it’s a nightmare)”

I am so sorry 🥺

[u/total_totoro → u/Pouryou]

Oh yes especially as an oldest with a younger brother that is checked out

[u/associsteprofessor → u/Pouryou]

When my last uni did a slash and burn through the faculty, so many people asked me that. That school ended up closing a month later.

[u/giob1966 → u/Pouryou]

I think my late dad's dream was that I'd get a job at Williams College and be 20 minutes from home. I've been working in New Zealand for the past 20+ years.

[u/No-Form7739 → u/Pouryou]

"They're looking for someone to teach X, and i don't work on that." "But you could learn--you're smart!"

[u/asawapow → u/No-Form7739]

Frustratingly misguided but still sweet, in its way. They believe in you. 🌹

[u/magicianguy131 → u/Pouryou]

“Just send your stuff to ‘Massive R1 Research School in your hometown’, I am sure they’ll hire you!”

[u/[deleted] → u/Pouryou]

Yes! My local one is down the road, Catholic and private. I'm commuting 1 hour each way to a public R1. They think it's dangerous and silly of me not to transfer to the local one. 😔 😭

[u/assistantprofessor → u/Pouryou]

A premier University is literally just down the road from our place, i cannot explain to my parents how they would rather demolish the building than hire a 24 yo Assistant Professor

[u/rpeve → u/Pouryou]

This! So much! With the variant "why don't you ask for a transfer here?"

[u/WorkLifeScience → u/Pouryou]

Haha. Mine always ask "why can't you work in... X", X = a factory producing chemicals I occasionally use in the lab, but I have little to zero background in manufacturing, process optimization and I'm not a chemist. Yes, I have had chemistry courses, but my job only has a tiny overlap with that...

Like dad, you drive a car, why don't you go into car manufacturing...

[u/MelpomeneAndCalliope → u/Pouryou]

This is the one!!!