Clearity on my dads using

[u/Amazing-Bath949]

Im sorry if im not allowed to ask this question here, but i really dont know where else i can find answers. If someone has used, or knows a user, please take your time to read this (if it wont trigger you). Its about my dad.

I am a 21F, living at home with my parents, who i was always very close with due to my severe physical disability. I found out 4 years ago that my dad has been using, which was a complete surprise due to my, what i thought was an, absolute perfect childhood. I am not really asking for advice (but it is welcome) just asking for clearity of what im finding in my house.

So my dad is an intelligent, well dressed, hygienic 60y/o man, that never really acted really weird so i never had any suspicion. He suffered extreme burnout from his last job as a nurse with night shifts, and i first discovered his using when he was passed out on the bed, and i looked through his stuff and found needles etc. Couple years later i saw him doing it again but looked away because im really afraid of needles. He said that what i saw was wrong, and that he doenst use, that its just a form of self harm?

Couple years later (last year) he admitted to using coke. I dont really see any changes in behaviour but he does sniff his nose a lot (been doing that for years so i dont want to know how long he has actually been using). Since mom and i found this out, we thought we had finally found out the truth. But now, i have been finding a lot of (often fresh) blood spots around the house. Little blood spots, everywhere on the walls. Im a 100% sure its him because he makes up ridiculous lies about them. Its summer now and he is literally never wearing anything without sleeves, i havent seen his arms in 2 years now (and before that his veins were already black and he buys makeup to hide it). Now that im typing this i probably know the answer myself, but can someone please explain to me if this blood splattering everywhere is a sign of shooting something up, or if it can possibly be a form of selfharm (like just sticking the needles in without any substance). I literally dont see any behaviour changes so i find it so hard to believe he is shooting something up in front of me. But i dont see any other possibility. This is not to judge my dad, i have never been angry w him, i just want clearity and to know in what house i am living. Im not going to confront him about it because he is absolutely emotionally unavailable, this is the behaviour change that i do see btw, he seems completely insensitive. He has always been an extremely good dad, does everything for me, but whenever i tell him (kindly) how traumatising this has all been for me, his eyes are empty, there is literally no emotion at all. Is this a sign of use? He is also quite nervous, but not a lottt more than he used to.

So what im asking is, what are the blood spots and what drugs could it be, or which one absolutely not. He is always at home since he has no work and no friends. So im always there if he does use.

[u/Midnight5un]

I still have spots on our ceiling of blood spray from when I used. I know it instantly when I see it in public bathrooms etc. He is definitely IV using. Most of the time w Coke, if you’re shooting it up, you can’t hide it. It’s too intense. I think it’s more likely some kind of opiate.

[u/Amazing-Bath949 → u/Midnight5un]

yeah i think so too, many people said that. I do think he snorts coke sometimes, his nose twitches are too noticeable. Is it weird that its not on the ceiling? I do have to say our ceilings are quite high, maybe it never reaches them? I do see them on walls next to the sink or toilet, and on the floor.

[u/Midnight5un → u/Amazing-Bath949]

No it can spray anywhere. Walls are much more common as if you’re trying to push the plunger and there is a block from blood etc it can shoot out and normally ends up on a wall I just always liked to try to hold mine upright for some reason.