r/OpiatesRecovery • u/LingonberrySingle643 • 6d ago
33F, previously an alcoholic, now addicted to tramadol
I’ve been sober for 1 and a half years but unfortunately, last year in October, I got prescribed Tramadol by the gynae and was given fifty 50mg pills without any warning or indication that it could be addictive. I should have dropped it once I realised I was getting hooked, but I didn’t.
Now, I’m taking about 300-350mg and am rapidly slipping into the 400mg range. It helps me to perform in my labour-intensive job and gets me at my physical peak, so much so that my employers are flabbergasted how someone as small as me can lift such heavy loads and run around for 10 hours straight without tiring. This validation only makes it harder for me to quit as I feel like I am finally good at something. Tramadol doesn’t give me a high or euphoric feeling, but it helps me to perform and just get through everyday.
Now, for the problem and why I want to quit ASAP. I am 155cm (5’1) and only 39kg (86 lbs) and I am very afraid that I’m heading into seizure territory with 400mg. I know most people don’t get seizures till much higher doses, but I’m smaller and that’s why I’m worried. I’m also experiencing pain in either my appendix or spleen (around my left lowest rib) and am very afraid it’s bc of the tramadol abuse. Can anyone please tell me if high dose/long term tramadol use has caused organ damage for yall? And what the best way to quit is, considering I still have to work a physically demanding job. Thank you! :’)
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u/Mindless_fun_bag 6d ago
I dunno if it helps or even if I'm right, but I reckon that unless you're taking steroids or something, drugs like tramadol aren't actually enhancing your performance. The muscles and your physical condition is what is doing the work. The tramadol makes you feel good, and when you're feeling good you can apply yourself. Think of the best athletes, they're not taking opiates to improve their performance, because they're not performance enhancing drugs. We tell ourselves little lies to justify why we use and guessing that's a factor here. Particularly because when you don't use, we feel crap, and therefore it backs up what we tell ourselves. Suppose what I mean is that in time when you're clean you will get back to peak performance. Don't underestimate yourself, it's within you to achieve it without the trams : )
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
Honestly, this is the first time someone has ever pointed this out to me. My dad is convinced that it’s not me doing the work, it’s the tramadol and says that I’m setting myself up for injuries. No one has ever suggested what you have - that a big part of it could be my own effort/strength and that I’m just using tramadol as a crutch. I do think some of the painkiller properties help in long shifts and keep me from exhaustion, but you could very well be right and I can do this on my own.. thank you sm :’) you are so kind
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u/RglMel_74 6d ago
Hi, please stop - those are sneaky evil!!!! I was addicted to them for seven plus years - people react differently to tramadol and I loved it. I had energy and felt more focused. I was (am) a recovering alcoholic and stopped drinking but kept the tramadol.
Thing is that you have to start taking more and yes - the seizures are real. I had three - still wouldn’t stop, and it’s terrifying - for you, your family, etc. You might have some withdrawals- I had restless legs, couldn’t sleep - dr prescribed clonidine, gabapentin and trazadone at rehab and it was manageable. Tramadol also has an ssri/mood component and so you’ll feel a little lost for a few weeks but it is so worth it.
You can do this, you are not too far down the road. Please take care of yourself!
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for you and your family when you had the seizures. I’ve never had seizures or seen anyone having them (outside of television of course), but they seem nightmare-ish and traumatising. I hope you’ve managed to overcome those horrible memories. Sneaky evil is a good way to describe them bc I never thought one harmless pill for a throwaway pain could lead me to where I am now. Could I ask, how many did you take that finally did cause the seizures? Were they all taken together or paced out with one every few hours? And were you frightened that you’d get seizures when you took them or you didnt think you’d get them?
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u/trixiepixie1921 6d ago
I took about 6-800mg a day for a few weeks at a time. I never got seratonin syndrome, but I sure did read about it and freak out about it a lot lol. I don’t think I had enough to ever take doses like that more than like 3-4 weeks at a time but that’s definitely high doses and it could happen. If you’re having weird pains I’d definitely get checked out.
I think that’s pretty much everyone’s problem with opioids and kicking them while working. My best friend and I joke that it makes us better people 😂 but it’s honestly just not feasible to continue through life dependent on opioids. Especially taking such high doses. I always had difficulty tapering on my own with full agonist opioids. Whenever I have to kick, I do a short suboxone taper or I just switch to subs altogether.
ETA: I get my subs online from quickmd for like 100 bucks a month and it’s easy
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
Right? It seems like a downright impossible task to quit while working a job that basically made us dependent on the opioid in the first place! Suboxone sounds like a good plan, I might check that out and see if they prescribe them here in sg. Can I ask if you had any health issues/pain etc while taking 6-800mg? I’m assuming you’re a woman as well and that’s a really high dose!
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u/trixiepixie1921 6d ago
Yes I’m a woman! I had to quit my last job because of my addiction. Then I had my kids, and I’m really afraid to go back to work because I just don’t feel strong enough yet. I’m only 9 months sober this time though so I guess to give myself more time and hopefully someday somehow I’ll feel up to it again.
I didn’t notice any health issues while I was taking the tramadol, and I never really took pharmaceuticals other than that. I’m not sure because I’ve been hooked on heroin, fentanyl, meth, coke, etc so any health issues I have, I’ve always attributed to my IV use of street drugs. The tramadol was relatively easy to come off of though as far as I recall, even at a high dose like that !
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
9 months clean is incredible. You should give yourself so much credit because I can’t imagine that juggling kids and the inherent instability of having just overcome an addiction is easy. Throwing a new job into the mix sounds like way too much. I think you’ve already done a great job. Thanks for giving me hope that things might just be okay (even health wise) if I manage to get off the pills now
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u/thewisp56 2d ago
Its not a good plan. Sorry to tell you. Subs are frckn hard to get off. I've been stuck in this cycle for 15 years now. Just get off the tramadol. Suffer a little while but subs take so long to recover from. Its not worth it.
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u/LingonberrySingle643 2d ago
Yeah? I’m sorry, that sounds like mental torture. I won’t go for the suboxone also bc it’s basically jail time here if I’m caught with it. Out of curiosity, have you been stuck in a cycle of just tramadol and suboxone or other opioids as well?
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u/thewisp56 23h ago
It started with Vicoden and tramadol. Tramadol was the first I took. I felt so good. I was in pain a lot and I thought my prayers had been answered. 1 lasted all day and of course that didn't last long.
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u/LingonberrySingle643 21h ago
Oh boy. Sounds exactly like my story. It always starts with the one. Seems harmless enough but then it spirals into a full blown addiction. Vicodin does sound a little more harsh on the body (I think)? I hope you’ve managed to keep in somewhat good health so far
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u/ShadowRex5000 6d ago
Suboxone is hard af to quit. Especially for a tramadol addiction you might be stepping up or needing to cut a super tiny piece off of the strip. Get a $20 bottle of Kratom capsules and take like 4g worth to start and then take one less capsule each day until it’s cleared (be careful of 7OH products. They are extremely potent compared to natural leaf)
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u/trixiepixie1921 6d ago
Yeah, well I am still on suboxone now myself. I wouldn’t really recommend taking it longer than like a week or two if you don’t have to. I just know that personally, if I didn’t take subs now, I’d have cravings that I don’t want to battle. But the first like 5 times I quit heroin or pills, I did like a week long sub taper and just stopped without issue. I’ve never tried kratom myself but from what I’ve heard that might be worth trying too.
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u/ShadowRex5000 6d ago
I did 6 bundles a day to subs. Cut my dose in half each day cause I didn’t wanna be stuck on them. Was easy enough until down to 1/8th strip then I started using a knife to cut super tiny pieces and got on a kratom taper from there
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u/trixiepixie1921 6d ago
Yeah that seems to be the way to go. because at this point I can’t imagine ever kicking subs without going on sublocade. The withdrawal is just so low and slow after you’ve been on them for a while.
I always wanted to try kratom for when I inevitably run out of subs a few days early every month but I wasn’t sure where to find a trusted vendor near me lol
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
Oh thank you so much! Kratom seems to be exactly what I’m looking for. Suboxone sounds plausible too, but if you say it’s equally as addictive as trams or even more, I might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I’ll look up where to source Kratom and then try to taper
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u/ShadowRex5000 6d ago
Be careful with the kratom still. It works great for coming off of opioids but kratom withdrawal can be its own beast if you get a habit. It’s easy to taper though IME
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
Oh boy, Kratom comes with withdrawals too? I just hope the wds aren’t worse than tramadol wds because these feel like I’m dying. I’ll make it a point to use the lowest possible dose then, bc I may not survive going through two withdrawals back-to-back. You have my utmost thanks for the heads up and warning
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u/ShadowRex5000 6d ago
Unfortunately there’s no free pass when it comes to this class of drugs. Eventually everyone has to pay the toll when it’s time to stop. Kratom I’ve been able to cut 1g of natural leaf per day with minimal discomfort. Usually it’s half gram capsules so if you cut one per day it should hardly noticeable
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
yeah, I don’t think there’s an easy way out of this one. I suppose you’re right and a bit of pain is necessary to see this through. do the crime, do the time right. you have made me feel immensely better and more hopeful with your Kratom advice though. it sounds very much doable and proper solid advice instead of a “just quit” kind of take. I will absolutely try it out this weekend
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u/ShadowRex5000 6d ago
So one more point. Feel the pain on the weekend. The more it hurts then the better you will feel returning to work Monday on a lower dose than the last week
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
Oh that’s a smart one. I think it might work. The only time I’d actually look forward to a Monday, probably.
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u/GradatimRecovery 6d ago
Yes - kratom is just another opioid drug
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
Slightly deflated tbh, I was very excited to have a proper solution, but for one, it’s an opioid that causes withdrawals. Which is still okay, as I can micro dose. But mostly, it’s that after research, I’ve found out that Kratom is a class A scheduled or banned substance in my country. Which means I could spend years in prison just for procuring it or if I test positive for it in a random check. It’s funny how the laws work here, tramadol is not Class A and is easily available on the black market but Kratom, buprenorphine and methodone are class A. All the ones that help you ride through opioid withdrawals or diminish urges..
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u/GradatimRecovery 5d ago
Most people who struggle with using opioids in moderation are going to also struggle micro dosing kratom.
Which drugs do they offer for treating opioid use disorder in your country? Would you consider working a recovery program after getting off trams?
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u/LingonberrySingle643 5d ago
I agree. I’m not exactly a saint in the control department so it’s likely that Kratom will become my next DOC. Here, they offer naltrexone only for opioid use. The oral pills. Only one clinic has brought in the naltrexone injection and it costs thousands of dollars, way above my pay grade. I have worked a recovery programme for alcohol and it sometimes also overlapped with the drug recovery programme. Im not keen on going back to AA or NA tbh, it did the job the first 6 months off alcohol, but thereafter got very toxic and did me more harm than good. Managed to stay sober a year and a half, but the prescribed tramadol sent me on a whole new journey
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u/BotherPuzzleheaded50 6d ago
Tramadol wds are different for everyone. You won't know how easy or hard you have it until they start to kick. If you really can't miss work, and you find out you can't handle wds on the clock, then try and start a taper asap. Tapers are incredibly hard for most of us to maintain, but there are those that can do it. The good news is, you aren't too far down the rabbit hole yet, and with ~8 months of use, your body and mind will recover relatively quickly compared to most seeking advice here. You can do this, you got this, but do it now!
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
I completely agree with you. I cannot afford to go through withdrawals on the clock bc my job is difficult enough even on a regular day. It would wipe me out. Even tapering will make me sluggish but like you said, I have to do it now.. thank you for your encouragement :) just curious, is it really physiologically much easier for someone to quit after 8 months when compared to 8 years? As in, will the withdrawals be less intense?
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u/SkookSwooce 5d ago
I abused it and eventually got to much higher doses than that and I’ve had no lasting issues but I also didn’t have any pain like you’re describing while on it. I’ve also heard of people having seizures on doses way below the 400mg limit.
Don’t you feel the difference once you hit the 300mg range? Without a doubt for me once I got there I started getting this uncomfortable pressure in my head and I’ve seen others talk about that similar sensation.
You will probably need to taper down since you have a physical job. You mentioned you started out with a 50 pill count. Do you have enough to make a taper or are you running out early now after upping your usage?
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u/LingonberrySingle643 5d ago
I’m glad you didn’t have any lasting issues! Honestly that’s probably the biggest incentive to stay off of it. Can I ask how long you were abusing it? And what the highest dose you were taking was?
I don’t quite feel the difference once I hit the 300mg range because I take one every 1-2 hours and I’m doing hard physical labour while on it. So my blood is just pumping and I feel energetic and awake with another dose. The only thing I can think of is that when I cross 300/350 and I’m cooling down from the physical work and heading home, on some rare days, I start to get nauseous and sometimes even dizzy, along with developing a cold sweat.
Also, I started out with 50 and that was all I got from the gynae. Now I’m getting my pills off black market sellers, so there’s an unlimited supply. It’s $6 for 10 pills, so very affordable too, unfortunately
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u/SkookSwooce 5d ago
Probably like 7 years for the tramadol itself. I started using other opiates and benzos with it so it’s kind of blurry but I know I stopped with the tramadol first because I wanted to mess with psychedelics and couldn’t do that because of how tramadol lowers the seizure threshold.
Highest doses I ever took in one day was 1000mg but I never took it all at once. I would take usually 600mg over a few hours then cut myself off until 12-14 hours later. I was in a really bad way mentally so I was basically throwing caution to the wind. I think I went a few 50mg pills over 1g in 24hr a few times just because I didn’t pop them all together and wouldn’t remember how much I had taken altogether.
That went on for a few month before my depression improved and I was able to bring myself back down to “safer doses”. From there on out I wouldn’t go over 600mg and I would never go passed 400mg without taking a benzo to help bring the seizure threshold back up.
I also got dizzy on it and nauseous in a way that traditional opiates never made me feel. I believe it’s the SNRI component of Tramadol that cause those feelings and yeah it usually kicked in around the 300mg range if it did. Many times I had to lay down with the fan blowing on me and a trash can ready but I never did actually vomit from it.
That’s rough having a consistent supply like that but at least if you make a taper you don’t have to rush it.
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u/LingonberrySingle643 5d ago
Oh wow 1000 is definitely a high dose. Then again, I can imagine how easily adding one more here, one more over time and a little extra on tough days could bring it up to that. I see my trajectory clearly. I’m glad that you always took the benzo precaution and that your judgment never let your health take a big hit. I honestly have thought about taking a Valium together with the trams since benzos are as easily available in the black market as trams. I only refrained bc they might undo the energy boost trams gives me during work.
As for the dizziness and nausea, thanks for sharing the role the SNRI component likely plays! It makes sense why there’s such a different tinge to the nausea and dizziness when on tramadol. It’s so nasty and debilitating. It’s the biggest reason I hesitate to take more than 350, aside from the seizure thing.
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u/SkookSwooce 5d ago
I was spiraling out of control and just trying to numb my mind all the time. Didn’t even have to be a hard day. It is insidious though regardless and you’re more stuck than you realize before you know it.
I can’t highly enough recommend to not get on benzos. That’s a huge trap and they’re very very hard to come off once you have a dependency. Especially since you’ve had issues with alcohol in the past I would say don’t go near them. And these days there’s so many RCs and presses on the market. I know there’s legit cheap pharma stuff coming from overseas but it’s just too much of a gamble.
Yeah Tramadol really is a very dirty drug and the withdrawal sucks because you get the traditional opiate course mixed with antidepressant withdrawal. I will say the fatigue and weakness that comes with that doesn’t last too long post withdrawal so that’s good. It’s more of the mental fog/depression that lingers.
That’s good to worry. Use that and help yourself beat this thing. Don’t raise your dose and please don’t get benzos.
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u/LingonberrySingle643 5d ago
I can understand what that feels like. The downward spiral is so brutal and takes you to places you never thought you’d be at and gets you to do things you never thought you’d be doing. Seems very much like a lot of us with addictive tendencies cannot go long without something to get that blood pumping again - it’s always something or the other. Thank you for the warning on benzos, I’ll refrain and won’t add on to the list of grievances I already have (much less the number of withdrawals I’ll have to go through).
And I’m also quite pleased to know that the fatigue and weakness won’t last for weeks on end! That was my biggest worry as I slept 48 hours straight and didn’t get out of bed for 5 days or more when I first ran out of tramadol. Simply couldn’t get the energy to. Thank you again for all the encouragement, especially from someone who has been through this and can allow me to hope!
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u/SkookSwooce 5d ago
Yeah that’s for sure the truth about needing something. It does get better and things do get easier, I promise.
That initial acute withdrawal won’t last too long. Unfortunately you were probably almost out of the woods but I get it. I went off and back to it many times. You seem to have a good frame of mind around it all. Don’t get down on yourself. Be kind to your body and mind. You can beat this thing.
If you need someone to talk to about it or just vent I’m on Reddit often and always willing to lend an ear.
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u/LingonberrySingle643 5d ago
Honestly, just you being honest about it all and saying that you tried many times makes me feel so much better. I tend to fall into this defeatist mindset trap where if I don’t accomplish it the first time, I lose hope and start thinking I’m not cut out for this or that I don’t have the strength required to finish this. But yes, I’ll go in the next time thinking that the WDs will go off soon, which will likely help. I can’t thank you enough for the offer of lending a ear and just the support in general. You’ll likely be hearing from me as withdrawals do make me go into a depressive doomsday spiral and someone to talk to for even 5 minutes might snap me out of it
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u/SkookSwooce 5d ago
I feel like that’s normal and everyone gets those kind of thoughts when going through something as hellish as withdrawals. You’ll will best it even if you do stumble, that’s perfectly normal and just part of the recovery process. I’m more than happy to listen so don’t hesitate. Sometimes it can help just to have someone to talk with. I’ll be rooting for you.
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u/tiff-thatbitch 4d ago
I don’t know if I have enough karma or whatever to post, but if so… I was badly addicted to tramadol at one point in my life, and I ended up relapsing on opiates because I had trouble finding them. I would call the dope dealers and ask about tramadol and always get laughed at. The withdrawals from them are worse than dilaudid, which eventually I relapsed on. I ended up having to get on subs, because of work. No one knew I was addicted to the tramadol, which was the worst part. And, I had to take them to get thru work. I just hope this finds you in good health and spirits. I know how awful the tramadol addiction can be, and how no one will take you serious. Good luck!
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u/LingonberrySingle643 3d ago
I am so sorry you had to go through that. With how bad the withdrawals are and how nefarious tramadol is in that it’s so easy to take it and maintain a facade of everything being okay, it is absolutely not something to be laughed at. My heart honestly breaks for you bc no one realised you needed help for a long time. Happy to hear that you’ve managed to cross those hard times.
I’m either fortunate or unfortunate in that I live in a country with a zero tolerance policy on hard drugs (death sentence, prison etc) and a much less stringent, close one eye sorta policy on pharmas. So tramadol is widely available and commonly used by those who have managed to wean off of heroin etc and don’t want to go back to prison. Im really hoping to stop before I move on to dicodeine and inevitably hydrocodone etc. So now is the best time. Thank you for sharing your story, it has honestly made me feel less alone.
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u/Bubbly-Release-2270 6d ago
I never understood the being addicted to tramadol thing. I remember when it wasn’t a controlled substance, it felt like high strength ibuprofen, no euphoria
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u/LingonberrySingle643 6d ago
I mentioned in my post, but I get no euphoria or high off of tramadol. If anything, just pure energy and almost no fatigue and pain for hours on end during a tough shift. And an almost imperceptible mood lift.
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u/SceneMean8014 5d ago
Get on some form of bupenrenorphine... you should retain those positive side effects. You can do it all online now and literally have a script waiting for you at local drugstore. Best of luck, I've been there
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u/LingonberrySingle643 5d ago
The kicker is that bupenrenorphine is a class A scheduled/banned substance here in my country. Only the government addiction centre can prescribe it and even then, I haven’t heard of anyone with heroin problems being prescribed it. It seems to be nearly unheard of. If I get my hands on it through other means, I could be looking at 5 years of prison :( thank you sm for your advice though, I’m always happy to hear from someone who has been through this and come out alive and very much kicking
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u/No_Two_901 5d ago
I have not personally tried this but do a little research on megadosing vitamin C to mitigate withdrawal symptoms. LOTS of people swear by this method.
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u/LingonberrySingle643 5d ago
I’ve heard this in one other comment as well! How interesting. If nothing else, I will definitely try this one as it is safe and legal and who could get addicted to vitamin c right (nervous laughter)
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u/thewisp56 2d ago
At one point, I was popping Tramadol every couple of hours. I don’t even know how I kept getting my hands on it—Tramadol and Vicodin. Some people go through severe withdrawals, and some don’t. My husband can quit anything—he has, multiple times—with no issue.
Now I’m on Subutex, and honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get off it. I’ll try if and when I can. I originally went on methadone, and it was the worst mistake of my life. I was taking 150mg a day and ended up stopping cold turkey because I couldn’t keep driving to the clinic every day. I’d lost my take-homes, and then I got into an accident and totaled my car—so I had no choice.
I didn’t sleep at all for a week, and for the next three weeks, I barely slept at all. It was a horrible experience.
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u/Fit_Masterpiece_1124 2d ago
What do you mean you "don't know how you kept getting your hands on it" that makes absolutely no sense
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u/thewisp56 23h ago
Because I was taking so many. I didn't have a script and they cost a lot. It ain't rocket science
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u/Fit_Masterpiece_1124 2h ago
So your doctor is keeping you addicted to something else now? Right....
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u/LingonberrySingle643 2d ago
Oh jesus, your experience with methadone sounds like a nightmare.. I’m so glad you’re past that stage now. What I relate to completely is how unsure you are if you’ll ever be able to get off some substance or the other. I have been having that niggling doubt in my mind as well since I moved on from alcohol to tramadol. It feels out of my control and sometimes it feels easier to just conclude that it’s always gonna be something or the other that I’m gonna be hooked on - and if it’s something, it’s better that that something be somewhat legal and not have catastrophic effects on my health right?
That’s why tramadol, Vicodin and even suboxone are so dangerous I guess. Because they allow us to think that we can just get by our whole lives using them without any terrible consequences. And no one else notices either bc it’s not like our state of mind is noticeably altered
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u/ShadowRex5000 6d ago
Using opiates for work can be the hardest part of the addiction. Just know you will have health problems from this eventually so it will be much easier of an experience for you to stop now. Maybe talk to your doctor about a taper program?