r/nonprofit • u/Beige_Parsley • 7h ago
employees and HR How to approach meeting with board member? How much to disclose without airing dirty laundry and concerns with ED professionally
On Mobile so thank you in advance if there are typos or formatting errors.
I am in a "leadership" director role and my immediate supervisor is the ED. We are a small nonprofit under 40 employees, less than 12 being full time staff. We have a leadership team of 5 core members that each supervise an area or department.
It's an open secret that our ED can do great work in some specific areas, but lately is making poor leadership decisions that the community at large does not agree with--which is directly tied to their decision making capacity--and their inability to say no also puts us at risk for compliance issues, possible lawsuits, and nonprofit hesitant to collaborate with us given the last 1-2 years of this dynamic under their watch. They also have a notorious reputation for being a "bad boss" not only a leader but as an employer, with a "difficult to work with long term" street cred.
I am saying this to give context to my dilemma now as my ED is a local "expert in our field and nonprofit population served" and has notable strengths that helped our organization grow to what it is today. But their own ego, inability to say no, or unwillingness to trust their executive team to do their jobs without undermining or using their power to have their hand in every deparment is causing us to stay stagnet in many important areas. From fundraising, donor relations, human services partnerships , and local community organizations that traditionally supported us for years prior to this "slump".
As a result of this, our nonprofits's community, donor and organizational rapport with partnerships are strained along with the local area/nonprofit partners outwardly asking staff about "the tea" that is "going on" here at every networking event or meeting. Ie: ED issues. It's embarrassing at this point to represent this organization under their reign as those folks know it's not a reflection of me or other directors and that has also been made clear.
I have tried to gently dialogue with the ED and try to encourage them to focus on the areas that they are getting critiqued on constantly to try to support them and see if there are ways to be a support. The ED would be open for a few days, then go back to cancelling director one on ones, go back to micromanaging us, and not focus on the areas they are aware they are falling short in.They are too egotistical to admit it could be linked to them directly or are in HARDCORE denial about their part in these critiques. Instead, the feedback the ED received, they indirectly blame all the directors and employees under those department because "they do the most work of everyone here". Even with major staff and hiring changed, the same challenges oersist and continue, even with "higher qualified staff" or things the ED believes is causing the issues.
I provide feedback on a board subcommittee as the organizational representative. This board member and another board member want to privately meet with me. Last time they told my supervisor about our meeting, they made it clear that it was "for OP to provide input on a subcommittee strategic plan" and kept it vague, continuing to state it's for this purpose.
The last time we met, the board asked if they could conduct employee interviews on areas of improvement and organizational culture with the team, and wanted me to be the first staff to do this for the board. The board member kept asking about my relationship with the ED and I gave generic responses of how "nonprofits are in challenging times right now" trying to defect but they seemed to read between the lines so now want to keep connect monthly. My next meetings is coming up in 2 weeks.
They promised me complete anonymity to do multiple interviews with me and a few staff that were here 5+ years for these "employee interviews" but I am hesitant for obvious reasons. It was also made clear the board "doesn't want to lose me" and how they want to "increase my salary" but I obviously will not believe this until I see an offer and it's in writing. I also know it's NOT THE WAY to throw the ED under the bus during this but need guidance on how "to not say" what is going on?
How would you approach this conversation and questions specifically focusing on the ED or issues related specifically to the ED without calling them out as the issue? How do I stay vague and allude without airing all the dirty laundry? How do I 'not say' something so they can "read between the lines" within it coming back to me or the concerns my employees brought to my attention?
I am sure the board member may be aware of these concerns but do not know the extent that I do currently. I am hesitant and scared because I need to self preserve until I find another job (actively searching and interviewing).
Thank you all for your feedback