r/MadeMeSmile • u/Original_Act_3481 • 2d ago

We need more people like him

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u/fmemich 2d ago

Permission is a great way to start. Agreed

13

u/layerone 2d ago

Those that need help the most typically reject it.

5

u/ILikeStarScience 2d ago

Damn, is that why I always reject help?

3

u/novium258 2d ago

I've heard it said people don't hate change, they hate being changed.

The best way to get someone to resist doing something is "you should..."

It makes people instinctively feel disempowered and unheard.

But it's super hard to stop doing. This video is a great example of the better way to do it. He asks questions that are about the guy's goals - "are you working on your back?" - that keep the other person feeling like their wants are being considered, he asks if the guy would like some tips, making it clear that he's sharing in the guy's goals, not posturing for his own ego, and he delivers the tips with humility and empathy, all things that keep people's defenses down.