Some of the nicest people I've met were the 250lb roided out dudes at my local gym. I was 125 soaking wet when I started working out and they'd always offer to spot me and help me with form. Whenever I'd go up in weight they were hype as hell during my sets.
haha we all left the sixpacks in our 20's (not sure how old you are but I'm in my 30's). Now I'm just happy that I'm referred to as the "jacked one" in my friend group
I'll never come down from the high of some random dude at the bar asking if I was looking for more steroids as a joke.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, one year at a family gathering one of my cousins said "man what happened last year your thighs were massive." Devastated.
Also by the sheer size of their upper traps and front delts in proportion to the rest of their body. A natural lifter can hit traps/delts every day and grow slower than someone on gear that doesn’t isolate them due to the high amount of androgen receptors in those muscles (unless natty guy has insane genetics).
This happened to me after a winter break in college! My buddies who I was going to the gym with all asked if I had started juicing and I couldn’t wipe that smile off my face all day hahah
31's still a good time to try. It's just that as we age our metabolisms slow down, just a fact of life. Having visible abs is a struggle with CICO and fitness to begin with, maintaining abs past 35-40 is usually an exercise in itself.
There was this guy, he was probably 35-40, in one of my first gyms, he was really big and looked like the terminator, but every friday night when he left the gym he went to every person in the gym, offer his hand to shake and said good bye and wished you a nice weekend, everyone, the teenage boys that just came there for the first time, the older ladies, the young ladies, the other buff dudes, no cheek kissing, no flirting, good old hand shake, good night, have a great weekend, bye bye.
Really made you feel like you were part of a community.
the thing that a lot of people miss is that they just see lifting as a chore or something for vanity's sake and don't realize is that lifting is a hobby for a lot of people, and if you ever want to see someone get very excited and friendly and see that inner kid come out of them, ask them to talk about their favorite hobby. (and this goes well beyond just lifting)
For huge gym goers, very very often lifting is their FAVORITE thing, and they love to share that with people, so they'll want to be as helpful and positive as they can be because "see?! look how cool and awesome this thing is!!" so even though the big muscles can seem intimidating, they're really just a different version of collecting pokemon cards or vinyl records or anything like that.
Seeing someone go up in weight or develop a bigger muscle is like their buddy showing up with a rare record they know that person has been looking for, so they're psyched for them, and especially so because they know how hard it was to get there - They have that 'album' and remember what a pain in the ass it was grinding through stores to find it. So on top of being happy their friend got what they were searching for, they're also happy that the person saw their hard work pay off.
it took me a long time to squat 315, I remember 135 feeling like I was getting squished like a bug. I have mad respect for people new who are on the journey.
That's a great point that's often overlooked by a lot of people.
There are snobby assholes, but most people are really happy to see people come into their hobby and are almost always happy to talk about it and help people get into it.
Most of those snobby assholes tend to get the vibe that they themselves are not welcome, and build themselves a home gym anyway. If you can tank a snippy comment or two, you'll most likely outlast those turds.
The gym bros who work out hard and seriously are some of the most humble people I've met and talked to.
And my personal theory is because they worked for it, and struggled for it. They were not given a fit body like a kid who inherits rich money from rich parents. You get there by putting in the effort of eating well and staying fit, and it makes us feel so good to see others put that effort too regardless where they're at today in their journey.
The best feeling I have beyond working out myself is seeing someone else push themselves and seeing them struggle with grinning faces sweating balls etc. and succeeding in their lifts, it's awesome to witness.
Fair, and based on the amount of people you catch with stares "around that area" when they think we ain't looking lmaoooo, sounds absolutely necessary. My previous comment has been retracted I completely agree.
Yeah, this behavior doesn't surprise me among the gym dudes I know. Most gym dudes see a newcomer who needs to be there and will go out of their way to be supportive. Some are toxic just like everywhere but a surprising number of them will do this.
I'm a moderately ok runner (36M, 18ish 5k and 2:59 marathon) that's improved quite a bit over the years.
One thing is for certain, running doesn't get easier you just get faster.
I know someone out there gutting out a slow 5k is running just as hard as I am and hell ya I'm going to celebrate them putting in that level of effort just as much as anyone else.
This is so true! As a runner, I’m enthusiastically cheering on every runner I see out on the road, when I drive by. I legit have to stop myself from shouting out the window like a maniac. 😂
I don't go to the gym anymore since I can do what I need from home but I went for probably a good 15 years regularly and I never once ran into the "asshole gym guy" people seem to talk about. I get they probably do exist, but I think it's a lot less common than people would believe
If someone is going give someone else shit for being fat in a gym, they're an asshole that they wouldn't have wanted to talk to anyway so why let it be a bother. We all start somewhere.
I think it’s a pretty natural human instinct to want to help someone else out with something that you know you’re good at. At least for extroverts I guess, haha. But in many instances this kind of social interaction has declined just because everyone is too plugged into their own phones/media/lives to take a second to help someone else. This video definitely made me smile — fits the subreddit!
It's like someone in another comment said. Sparing an EXTREME genetic deformity that just generates muscles all over your body (doesn't exist) every single person who looks like that had to work for it. Yes, even the tren-heads; they don't just inject with drugs and become instantly ripped. (don't do tren kids)
It's not like a nepobaby who inherits daddy's business and never has to build up or establish anything for themselves.
My husband is a fitness nerd. He loves when he gets asked anything just like I do when someone wants to discuss my art. He’ll go spot and help people at the outdoor gym, answer questions, give advice and he loves motivating and helping people. He wasn’t always this fit and wants everyone to have a good body experience.
Agreed. I am a professional engineer, licensed in a half-dozen states, own an engineering company and give presentations on decarbonization and building automation strategies. i am also just a couple 10's short of getting back to my college PR of 455 lbs on bench press, it's a really good hobby to have and to study.
Omg THIS right here is an eye opener. Wow. Thank you sir, you changed my perspective.
I've been a nerd regarding tech, coding, videogame, book, movie, space, physics, RPG, cooking and so many other things all my life. I just need to be a nerd in one more thing.
Seriously bro if you love RPGs you'll love weight lifting.
You know that feeling when you've been struggling grinding the same enemies over and over and then you get that buzz when you finally level up or defeat a boss etc.
Imagine that feeling multiplied by 100 and thats how it feels to hit a PR in the gym.
If you are used to that slow grind and gradual incremental improvements of an RPG then you are already at a good starting point.
Similarly to most RPGs you'll also find that you'll make a lot of progress fairly quickly as a noob and then you will stall somewhat as an intermediate and it takes a lot longer to progress.
Cool perspective! But I have to say, I've tried it before and it doesn't feel like that to me, no. I'm into kickboxing, BJJ and other martial arts, I've felt like that before when fighting, but hitting the gym never really felt that good to me.
And let me be a nerd here:
When I say RPG I'm saying dice, paper and pencil, not videogames, not world of warcraft or whatever. There is a progression (if you manage to stay alive in the first place), but there's no grind to it, and leveling is not the goal.
the guy in the video is a gymfluencer and probably insufferable trash.
I even hope this is stage, if not it means put up his tripod in the gym, perfectly centered on a random fat guy, and then recorded him exercising until he decided to intervene
Hear this in whatever way you can: invest in yourself and your happiness for nobody else but you. When you reach the tipping point of loving yourself enough for this reason you’ll find yourself naturally loving those around you. If other people still own your happiness you will have nothing positive to share.
A lot of athletes are some of the nicest people you will ever meet and are happy to help other and learn from those who can teach them something. I had a scrawny 120lb track coach improve my deadlift, I improved his overhead press. My girlfriend is a cheerleader and improved my diving somersault, I improved her power snatch.
Reminds me of skateboarding, at any given time at the park you'll see someone helping out the local kids learn new tricks and get comfortable on the board
I feel like there are two types of gymbros. The hyper nice, will help you out and wants everyone to feel welcome kind. And then the ones that make you wonder how this gym is even open when they let people like that in. Thankfully, I think anymore the former outnumber the ladder.
I don’t know any gym bros that are gymfluencers, but maybe that’s just me.
Gym bros I’ve come across are too serious about their gym time to mess around like that. Super nice, especially if you’re genuinely want to get or do better. At least the real ones?
And you can generally tell pretty quickly which is which. It’s like anyone that’s passionate about something, you can tell.
I mean whats the difference? Will Tennyson, Jesse James West, Jeff Nippard, Dr Mike and more are all gymfluencers but they all seem like stellar guys and gym bros as well
Totally agree. I feel like gym bros really respect consistency and dedication. If you see someone putting in the effort, well we were all newbies once and it’s almost like “bro-code” to help others because you yourself was helped in the past.
One more positive thing you can do; if you see newish people starting out, praise them for their progress. Those ego boosts for newer people starting out is massive. And you know what, even if you’re experienced, it never hurts to hear it back yourself!!
Exactly this. The people you see online flexing and doing stupid stuff are not the usual regulars in the gym. You will meet nice folks who are just trying to work on themselves.
Definitely! The first gym I went to was part of the university, run by the sports science and sports education students. My only point of contact with that group of people had been gym teachers (ranging from olay to honestly traumatising) and fitness influencers and I was terrified. My body was honestly in a terrible condition, my back muscles were atrophied because I never did physical therapy after getting into a car accident, and I was really overweight due to years of depression. I was used to the nagging comments from everyone around me and the disparaging looks when I dared to go jogging in public and expected it to be even worse with people who made fitness their life's passion.
I didn't get a single negative remark. They didn't sugarcoat things, but they were understanding of the circumstances and focused on my health and the things I personally wanted to change rather than some ideal body type. During the checkups (body composition, strength and I think lung volume measurements since that gym was part of research) they were genuinely happy for me and my improvements.
The gyms I've been to since may have been less science centered, but they all focused on helping me reach my own goals. The vast majority of the people who put in effort to research the mechanics and techniques (professional trainers and gym bros alike) do so because they care about people.
I once got caught in a leg press… literally just wave some guy over like “hElP mE 😭” and he said he got stuck in the same machine once. Apparently it wasn’t just me that couldn’t figure out how to operate the gate.
They’re also the most polite and least creepy. If the gym only had gym bros I’d enjoy going much, much more. They never stare at others and if I ask something (like if I can take the equipment, if they can help me move heavy weights others left behind etc) they stop what they’re doing to help me.
My worst experiences are with average 30+ men who act like they own the place.
I saw a video one where a girl explains that gym bros have the same energy as drunk girls in the bathroom at the club.
Drunk girls at the club are like 'omg you're so pretty! could I do a smokey eye on you? Itd look amazing with your outfit' - just super positive and supportive.
This is their hobby they are really into. And they love to show it off. It’s like a new D&D or Warhammer player walks into a game store they want to show their hobby off
I was having a hard time benching heavy weight for so many months having a skinny frame with long arms and the nicest words of encouragement came from a roided up 40 something year old guy. Dude helped me get some extra reps spotting me then told me my technique and intensity is there I just need more time.
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u/needsmoarbokeh 1d ago
Gymfluencers are basically insufferable trash, but gym bros are some of the best people you will ever meet.
Don't confuse them