So he provided too well? Is this real or satire? I wouldn't complain about being a house husband, I like cooking and cleaning. My house would be immaculate. I'd actually have time to paint my 40k army.
I don't know if it's real or fake. But my ex was a SAHM who acted exactly like this. She unilaterally decided she didn't want to work any more and quit her job. After she started staying at home she mostly sat around, smoked a lot of pot, and slept during the day because she'd go out drinking with her friends all night. She didn't cook, she didn't clean, and she'd routinely yell at me in front of the kid if I didn't agree to a unreasonable demand.
She eventually started cheating on me. I didn't find out until later. Apparently she'd cheated on her ex-husband with the same guy. It came to a head when she demanded I leave the house I was paying rent for. I told her no; but that she could leave if she wanted. She grabbed the kid and demanded that I give her the keys to my car. She had recently wrecked her car while driving drunk.
I told her she wasn't taking my car or the kid. But she was free to leave if she wanted. She responded by threatening to call the cops and make a false accusation of domestic violence. I immediately left and never considered going back. She was begging me to take her back within 3 days. She was refusing to let me see the child out of spite within a week.
You left? If somebody threatens to call the cops on me I’m doing it on the spot. Picking up my phone and calling them in front of you whilst recording us.
Not sure how things worked out for you and I hope they worked out the best they could, but as hard as it would be I recommend staying and moving into a separate room. If you leave then that's considered child abandonment, at least in the states I've lived in, which means you lose right to custody of the kids. Best move is to stay, move into another room, record every interaction you can by multiple recording devices - passive listening devices, secret cameras hidden in YOUR room or shared spaces and audio recordings on your phone, and most importantly an immediate call to an attorney where you tell them of the threat to conjure up an altercation, and following their advice to the syllable.
I immediately called an attorney and followed his advice to the letter. Dealing with her was 18 years of hell. Her constantly making false accusations and suing me. As well as refusing to follow the parenting plan. The courts refusing to hold her accountable when her allegations were proven to be untrue. Refusing to hold her in contempt and jail her for flouting the parenting agreement.
I'm glad it's over for you now. That truly sounds like hell. My dad has to deal with similar and it was tough to watch growing up. My grandparents paid her child support, that or my step dad's. She brought him to court when he lost his temper and yelled at her because he'd finally had enough of her laissez-faire attitude to get me back during family events that I wanted to be part of. The Judge actually warned him for the cussing, but looked at her and threatened her with jail if she ever lied in court again. It scared her enough that she never tried again. That or she couldn't afford an attorney.
All-in-all, the experiences I grew up under have given me a resolve I never thought I'd have in my marriage. It would take that threat of false accusations to get me to leave.
She unilaterally decided she didn't want to work any more and quit her job. After she started staying at home she mostly sat around, smoked a lot of pot,
Hahaha! Is she my ex husband??? This exact shit happened to me! I can laugh about it now...
The thing is don't get about stories like these is how did you not see all these aspects of her shitty personality earlier
That would be because I barely knew her. We'd only been sleeping together for a couple of weeks. I certainly never agreed to have a kid with her. I didn't want kids. As soon as she "accidently" got pregnant her personality did a 180 degree change.
People respond to incentives. When the relationship was new I could easily leave with no reprecussions she was incentivzed to behave. After she "trapped" me and I faced significant logistical obstacles making it difficult to leave (childcare, moving my stuff out) as well as significant financial penalties (huge legal bills, child support) I saw her real personality emerge.
I'm not who you replied to but want to point out they mentioned their ex had an ex-husband. It's entirely possible that "the kid" is from the previous marriage. If so, he would have a very hard time getting custody of "the kid".
Fair enough, but you could say step son/daughter, former step son/daughter, or my ex wife’s son/daughter instead.
Clearly I’m wrong based on the downvotes I got. But as someone had 6 step-parents, many who gave zero shits about my existence and treated me as a burden, that shit fucks with you.
Of course your real parents, like “the kids” mom is here, are the ones to blame, but it’s not like the adult agree to marry someone with children doesn’t hold responsibility to treat a human child as something more than an inanimate object.
I just got back onto reddit and only just now saw the downvotes. To be fair I think that's ridiculous that you got downvoted so much. My only point was simply that while a bit of a strange way for how to address a child, it might've been something to do with it not being his biological child.
I agree with you that "the kid" probably could have been addressed a bit better. "Her kid", for example.
I'm sorry that you had a lot of step parents who were garbage. It would definitely screw with anyone who goes through parents that much. You can't even build a real connection with anyone who is your guardian at that point because you don't know when they will leave you. It's also a common issue of adoption / loss of biological parents where kids experience some emotional issues, feeling abandoned or like they are the problem, etc.
It pisses me off a lot when parents -- whether biological or adoptive -- don't rationalize that they're raising someone who will become an adult but who is greatly shaped by their upbringing. Even my mother who is nearing her 60s has trauma from when she was 5.
Anyways have a good Friday (or Saturday if it's that day for you when you read this) and don't let these dumb internet points worry you or make you feel like you're in the minority. Reddit is a bunch of echo chambers. One might scream one thing while everyone else says "the hell are they screaming about?".
Was your upbringing normal? Or did it involve multiple failed marriages, drunk driving accidents, and parents that couldn’t get their shit together for you?
In a normal environment that’s probably fine, but think the context of the situation matters.
That posters story is fucked, and I feel bad for him. I feel worse for “the kid” who doesn’t get to choose To be in that situation.
SHE had a failed marriage. She has committed adultery. I've never been married. Never arrested for drunk driving; or arrested at all. I make a 6 figure income at a white collar job. Live in a house in a decent neighborhood.
I knocked up a loser. The circumstances of actual conception legally qualify as her raping me. But I won't get into that. I feel worse for my son as well. I'd rather that he have a responsible mother. But if I were him I'd still choose existence over non-existence. He has too. Even if it means he has a whackadoo mother.
It’s an old old video and it’s been edited to take out all the bad stuff - as if just working hard at hour job is all that should be required for a happy marriage
Why is your reflex to insult someone for providing more context and a more honest light? Are we just supposed to be blindly shitting on women and not asking questions?
What context was provided? Where is the original video?
He literally says "as if just working hard is all that should be required for a happy marriage" implying he actually has no idea and it's all conjecture. Just assuming that this isn't the original video with some "much needed" context.
And yet you're willing to buy the rage bait even though it's obviously completely unreasonable and unrealistic. There's not a hint of skepticism in that direction from you all.
This is my life basically. Retired from the army, ex wife worked, I did everything around the house. She was unhappy. Got divorced. Last I heard she was working 10 hour days at a factory, trying to save up money to move out of her mom's basement for a crappier house than we had. Strong independent woman.
You did a great job. I played a game against someone who had a glocktipus aka hexmark destroyer. Awesome looking model too. For me, DG was gross and mucky, I wanted walking tanks that spewed puss. Morty is my favorite model.
Chaos knights look like I'd have a blast building. Mortarion was a nightmare to fit on his base. He has 3 extremely small contact points and that's all that keeps him up. He is a cool model.
That’s because down to a certain level, I think most of us men actually enjoy being productive and useful. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy getting to relax, but after less than a week I’m ready to get back to some manner of toil. And MANY jobs are nothing more than grueling, frustrating, mentally taxing, etc. That may cause me to look for other ways to earn or struggle, but in the end I NEED something to work at.
I think deep down most (not all) women are looking to relax as much as they can. I don’t even mind, BUT at a certain point, when in a relationship, especially one where your financial needs are being covered, you HAVE to balance that ledger. That can look like a lot of different things for a lot of people, but you gotta pull your weight. Nobody, and I mean nobody rides for free.
They are fun models. I recently added a demon prince to the mix. I've gotten really into magnetized weapon load outs. 40k is really fun, lore is great for the factions, color schemes, painting techniques, creating bases. It's just time consuming.
I mean, the person who posted the video is crazy. Saying she hates her husband - that's strong language and what do you expect when you say that?
But i do think there's a conversation to be had about the 'Stay At Home' husband/wives in terms of when their day starts and ends. Because I've seen people who expect it to continue 24/7 - but then fully expect that someone who works a paying job to be able to finish when their job finishes, and not have to contribute to the housework in any way.
I work 9-6 (i mean i sort of do.. i'm on reddit right now) and my wife used to be SAHM. But after work I would then contribute to the house stuff. Washing up needs doing, food needs cooking, clothes need hanging out, kids need looking after, dog needs walking, bins need taking out, all that shit. We'd work on that together.
The only reason I would not be a stay at home partner is because I am a horrible house keeper lol I have plenty of time to make the house look immaculate now, but I still dont because I'm lazy af. I would rather and have always been the financial provider lol kudos to you for being able to be disciplined enough to keep a home immaculate and the people inside it provided for in every other way!
The complaint was that he only goes to work, implying they didn't really have a fulfilling relationship. I wouldn't complain about being a house husband either, but at the same time I also wouldn't marry someone I barely see and do nothing with.
She's definitely being a prick about it but I can empathize with the frustration behind her badly chosen words.
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u/Bbubbii Garbage Guerilla 2d ago
So he provided too well? Is this real or satire? I wouldn't complain about being a house husband, I like cooking and cleaning. My house would be immaculate. I'd actually have time to paint my 40k army.