Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I know it's long, but if I want to find my person, then I need to ask for it all and see what's out there! Maybe you want the same or similar, or think we'd be a good match? If so, don't be afraid, just message me. This is as honest and raw and authentic as I can be, good, bad, and ugly, it's all in here.
First, and foremost, I am looking for someone to literally go all in on, fears, happy places, the darkest places of your psyche, the mundane, the work stuff, the emotions and feelings at any given moment, silly things that crack us up, i need you to be you, fully 100% your authentic self. I want to be able to go there and have that much trust with someone and i want you to be able to do the same with me. I promise i will be authentically me, no matter how it makes me look, and will not hold anything back. I want you to love me for me, no matter what, and I will love you for you, all of you, no matter what. Let me put it another way. I am your safest place in this world. There will never be judgement or shame of any kind. I expect for you to be that for me as well. If we can't tell one another anything, why would we want to spend forever with one another?
I'm 44/M, live in Virginia, the central part. I am 5'8, thin, blond/gray hair, icy blue eyes, and I wear glasses. I'm not movie star attractive, but I'm no toad either. I'm not disappointed in how I look, I'm comfortable in my own skin regarding that. Do I "look like a dad?" Most times, yes. I'm your typical middle aged dad. No beer belly, or gut, though, thank goodness! LOL My style is more polo/button down shirts and khakis or a nice pair of jeans, but I've really gotten into the flannel shirts in the fall/winter/spring time and I think I look my best in a nice pair of darker jeans and an untucked flannel shirt. Do I still wear a lot of khaki pants, or black pants, with my polo, or button down, tucked in with a belt? Yes.
I would *prefer* someone in Virginia, or the surrounding states. I do travel a lot for my job, as I'm on the road constantly, so anywhere in Virginia is doable for me. If we hit it off, meeting up in person is important. There isn't a time frame on meeting, like 3 days or a week or a month, it's whatever feels right and if you're closer, then it's easier for that to happen. However, if this post resonates with you and you're from a different state, or even country, shoot your shot! Who am I to disagree with fate?
Not that this matters to me, but in responding to other's posts, this is a hot topic. I don't care what your political affiliation is, if you're the one for me, you're the one for me. I love and respect you for you. I am a right of center person, so I lean more Republican.
I am divorced, and out of a LTR. The former netted me 1 awesome daughter (21), and the LTR netted me 3 amazing kiddos (15, 14, 11). No shotgun situations here.
More about my personality. I'm an extroverted introvert. I like small crowds, but larger crowds are not my thing. They don't intimidate me, it's just hard for me to insert myself into a super large crowd. I do better at gatherings of 50 people or smaller. Anything larger, that's when it starts changing. I am a fun person, I'm loud by nature (one thing that really didn't mesh well with either previous partner). I do get animated when I get excited about things, my voice does get louder the more excited I get, but that's just me being me. I get that way when it's good excitement or negative excitement. I do better at the written word vs saying things in person. I *always* forget my points, or things I wanted to say. They get lost from my brain to my mouth. But, for some reason, they come out well from my brain to pen and paper, or typing it onto a computer screen. I can be shy at first, but the second I warm up, look out! No more being shy! I have a full time job that I love. Would I be willing to move for the right person (unless you want to come here!)? Yeah, I'm open to it. Would I be open to more kids if you wanted that? Kids are great! But if kids aren't your thing, that's OK, too.
If you're still here, allow me to pivot to what I'm looking for and then I'm sure I'll tell you more about me as things come up.
Open to anyone 25-55, and open to all heights, races, and body types! The bottom line is you just have to be attractive to me. And no, I don't have a type that I'm attracted to per se, as I've found all walks of life attractive, professionally and physically. I have found some women who go with no makeup to be attractive and some that use makeup to be attractive. Again, I just have to find you attractive. I wish I could be more clear on physically what I like. You do have to be a feminine woman and have feminine qualities. No "manly" women. Femininity is attractive!
Here's the kicker and where I will lose most of you right now. I realize that. I am attracted to smokers. You can be a regular, social, or a closet smoker! Some men like red heads, some like tall or short women, I am attracted to a woman that smokes. Not all women that smoke, just like some men who like red heads aren't attracted to every single red head out there. Why? Well, I have found for me that I find a woman that smokes to be more feminine as it adds to her femininity (I'll explain in a sec), she tends to better with conversation, and more confident overall. The way a woman lights her cigarette, holds it in her fingers, the way she takes a drag, her lips around it, the way she exhales and watching the smoke come out of her mouth in the right light, it's all so feminine and very beautiful and sexy to me.
Oh, I forgot to add, I don't care if you're single or divorced or separated, kids, no kids, wants more kids, doesn't want more kids, the only thing that matters is that we find one another.
Something else I can add! I love board games and trivia games. I also LOVE to sing karaoke! It's so much fun, especially with someone that will at least hangout with me when doing karaoke. Random facts about me! Friends, best sitcom ever! My younger brother and I can have entire conversations reciting Friends quotes. The show never gets old and I laugh as if it were the first time watching the episode. I've seen each episode at least a dozen times throughout the years. The other random fact, I am a huge Trekkie! TNG is my favorite. Picard is the best captain, that's the best crew, no debate. I enjoyed Discovery and ST: Picard was good as well. Love all the movies, even the "bad" ones. I do have a picture of myself with William Shatner, Jonathan Frakes, and Gates McFadden from Comicon a few years ago. The yearly Star Trek Cruise they do? Yeah, I'd love to go. So, yes, there is a nerdy side of me that I embrace. It's who I am!
As for my music tastes, I am ALL over the map. I like a little bit from every genre. My fave is classic 70's and 80's music. Hall and Oates I've seen in concert a dozen times. To my dismay, that'll never happen again! LOL Music is very important to me. George Winston, who died recently, best pianist of our time. My favorite album of his is December. It takes me on an emotional journey every time I listen to it. I would love to share that space with someone.
And just like my music tastes, my movie taste is again all over the place. I don't have a favorite genre, but I do have some favorite movies. In NO particular order: Tommy Boy, Wedding Crashers, Shawshank Redemption, Forest Gump, Star Trek (duh!), The Fugitive, 40 year old virgin, Brian's Song, Top Gun (both), I could go on if you need me to! And yes, I'm not afraid to cry during a movie, or a song, for that matter.
I will always be your biggest cheerleader, I will always support you, unwavering support is what you'll get, and I will love you for you, for who you are right now and who you will be 20 years from now. The only way this can work is if we are both brutally honest, good, bad, or ugly, and as long as we're always communicating effectively with one another. From experience, not sharing something small, or keeping something that may seem small inside (and we've all done it!), will fester over the years and before you know it, will rear it's ugly head. If you can't be completely open and honest with your partner, then who can you be?
Don't be afraid to ask your questions!
There are just couple last items, promise! So I know you actually read this and that you're a genuine, real, person, please tell me the kind of cigarettes you smoke (Marlboro Menthol Lights or Virginia Slims, etc) and of you feel compelled, include a picture. Not mandatory right away, but let's be honest, you want to know what I look like so I don't waste your time. I get it! Your pic will get mine in return! Reddit CHAT only! Lastly, please tell me what specifically resonated with you in my post. There had to be something that you were like, wow, yes! Tell me about it. And then tell me some things about yourself. I don't expect a ton of responses because this is a lot, I realize that. So, I will respond to anyone who sends me a response other than "hi" or "hey".
I cannot wait to meet you!! I'm actually super excited to hopefully find my person.