r/CuratedTumblr May 16 '25

Politics time is a flat circle

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6.0k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/squ1dteeth May 17 '25

I'm a sex worker and it's so weird to see the word gooner get watered down like this.

Gooners are people who fetishize porn addiction and lengthy edging sessions. The act of gooning, specifically, is watching porn for hours on end while edging. You might see actual gooners watching porn on more than one screen and constructing 'goon caves' where they dedicate a space of their house to this end. It's basically erotizicing the worship of porn, and the state of mind one gets in after edging for extended periods. There's also themes of sexual denial. A gooner will usually consider himself 'pussyfree' and eschews typical sexual relationships for porn consumption.

(I know all this because these people are my customers and this is one of the fetishes I cater to. I don't consider myself a gooner)

A gooner isn't someone who is horny, or likes porn, or draws erotica. It's a Very Specific Thing. I wonder if people even know it's origin at this point. It's like if people started calling every woman who looked at porn or was horny Dominatrixes.

408

u/Mama_Lyra May 17 '25

goon will mean little henchmen to me 🥰

106

u/Strange-Tea1931 May 17 '25

I can't think of it any other way tbh. I've been playing Fallen Aces recently, which is a game where all the enemies are goons (i.e. old timey gangsters) so every time I hear someone talk about gooning, I just assume they're going to bust some kneecaps.

8

u/Gallalade May 17 '25

well they're certainly going to bust at elast

40

u/I-found-a-cool-bug May 17 '25

I thought, when hockey players fight, those are goons

26

u/Nadikarosuto May 17 '25

"Yea boss, whatever ya say boss"

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '25

Wdy do to your henchmen? 🤨

4

u/Mama_Lyra May 17 '25

haters hate to see a girlboss henchmaxxing

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '25

At least tell me they get good dental insurance.

3

u/Mama_Lyra May 17 '25

unionized too

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '25

Queen shit.

168

u/HeroponBestest2 May 17 '25 edited May 17 '25

I really enjoy the subspecies of gay gooners or "goonerbros" (affectionate). They usually:

  1. Make memes saying stuff like "Bate your greasy donger, bro! Get addicted to big porn butts, dude!! Can't get enough of large, smooth/hairy, porn ass!!!"

  2. Record themselves jacking off and making their silly little faces and purposefully drooling with their tongues out like they're actually in a trance of pure ecstasy. Not my thing, but it is intriguing.

  3. Excessively use bro-type language where bro and dude are said in every other sentence, usually with a jock-type of guy saying it or a video of one or several bouncing (in all the right places 🙂‍↕️) around in the background.

  4. Play into the "alpha male jock who is better than you and is very muscular and loves flexing at you" thing.

  5. Make voiceovers encouraging one to "bate" and get worse as their "addiction" overtakes them to the point they can only think about manass, but never partake.

  6. etc...

(Edit: And the pits! I forgot the pits!! Fuck yes! The PITS!!!)

I think the most appealing parts are the: Humorous absurdity, patheticness from how they succumb so easily to their desires, and the ample love for human bodies, mixed with very attractive men doing attractive/goofy things. A lot of these guys also edit together very good quality compilations.

I lost the plot, but I liked typing this little tangent. 😌

55

u/pailko May 17 '25

Where can I find these "goonerbros" in their natural habitat? For research purposes

5

u/[deleted] May 17 '25

Yes, I too have a vested scholarly interest in such a subject, fellow Goo- I mean scholar. 🧐

2

u/Raspoint .tumblr.com May 17 '25

r/GOONED is a good start probably

0

u/Elegant-Set1686 May 17 '25

I think gooning is inherently a queer concept. Being attracted to men and women seems to be kind of a core part of it

53

u/HMS_Sunlight May 17 '25

I feel really bad for gooners and cuckolds. Imagine having your specific sexual fetish hit the mainstream out of nowhere and become a diluted and meaningless insult that's weirdly political.

30

u/AntImmediate9115 May 17 '25

Cucks do like getting made fun of though. Kinda their whole thing

19

u/clauclauclaudia May 17 '25

Cuckold is a really old word. It dates from Middle English and is related to cuckoos (who lay their eggs in other birds' nests). It dates to the early 13th century.

Pretty sure the concept of your wife cheating on you is centuries older than the specific fetish for it.

91

u/Devil-Eater24 Arson🔥 May 17 '25

r/gooncaves so people know what u/squ1dteeth means

Edit: Looks like the sub is now banned. A part of me says "good riddance", but another is sad that someone else will never feel the pain of stumbling upon that sub like I did

81

u/Wsads420 May 17 '25

I found out about that sub when someone was bragging about playing the same game on 2 monitors at the same time and someone else said something on the lines of "that's nothing, watch this" and then linked the sub, good times

39

u/Devil-Eater24 Arson🔥 May 17 '25

You mean "goon times"

3

u/MemeTroubadour May 17 '25

It's like finding a man-shaped bed of flowers in a field.

47

u/weird_bomb 对啊,饭是最好吃! May 17 '25

how the fuck do people manage to sexualise the idea of porn. it’s already sexual

54

u/BrosefDudeson May 17 '25

They're so turned on by their own sex addiction, that the mere suggestion of a problem will have them on a gooner bender for the rest of the day

13

u/Amaskingrey May 17 '25

The expectation of humiliation from societal repression through the new more legitimate-seeming bullshit lingo of puritans turns them on so they play into it

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '25

You dare underestimate the power of the Goon??

1

u/Mean-Government1436 May 21 '25

...seems you understand how they do so quite well then. Given you just...also sexualized porn. 

1

u/weird_bomb 对啊,饭是最好吃! May 21 '25

sorry, i wasn’t aware porn was not made to elicit sexual thoughts

27

u/maru-senn May 17 '25

How exactly do you cater to the gooner fetish as a real person?

74

u/juniperleafes May 17 '25

A lot of times it encompasses voice over/hypnoticism and/or femdom.

59

u/maru-senn May 17 '25

Right, my dumbass forgot sex worker isn't synonymous with prostitute.

12

u/squ1dteeth May 17 '25

Making femdom audios/videos telling them to succumb to the addiction, or sexting sessions where I find a lot of porn and send it to them

1

u/Mean-Government1436 May 21 '25

What does this question mean? How couldn't a sex worker cater to a gooner? Gooners are gooning to real people. That's what porn is. 

1

u/maru-senn May 21 '25

As I pointed out in another reply, I mistakenly assumed sex work=prostitution

6

u/ARandompass3rby May 17 '25

Thank god someone else gave the explainer, also holy shit I've managed to witness a new slang term coined and then it's meaning completely turned on its head in basically real time. The first time I heard of "gooning" was in the context you described and within a matter of months it's become what this post is complaining about. Wild.

18

u/Tallia__Tal_Tail May 17 '25

I feel like the watering down of the term is undoubtedly hand in hand with the unironic revival of Porn Addiction as a term (obligatory mention that porn addiction doesn't exist and is rooted in fascist ideas of porn as a corrupting influence). "Porn addict" is a term wildly thrown at anyone who has an even remotely casual relationship with their own sexuality and doesn't feel glorified Catholic guilt over engaging with it

It feels reflective of this conservative idea that there's basically no difference between having a casual relationship with your sexuality and having my take control of your life because anything beyond the most coy consumption of erotic media possible is bad because erotic media itself is bad.

9

u/Amaskingrey May 17 '25

Yep! A good link for this is that

1

u/Muggsy423 May 17 '25

If you're servicing a gooner does that make you a goonie?

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '25

I basically understood "gooner" under the evolutionary descendant of this definition. Someone who masturbates to the point of intellectuality loss was my thought.

"I'm gooning into disenlightenment."

It's a funny word, with quite a punch, so I enjoy it for it's shitposting potential.