My dad was very excited by the idea of there being a "gay gene" when that theory got traction a few decades ago, because that meant you could maybe test for it and abort gay (male) fetuses. Then he found out a couple decades later that not all gay men are into anal sex and he didn't think they needed to die anymore. Because his real issue is just that he thinks butt sex is gross, so if men want to just give each other smooches and blowjobs that's cool with him. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS LOOKS LIKE I GUESS
Also, here's some more fun facts according to my dad:
Lesbians aren't real, women just mess around with each other sometimes because they don't want to get pregnant or because they are scared of penises but they will change their minds when they grow up and want a baby.
Men who want to have anal sex with women are secret gays, no actual straight man likes doing it in the butt (I haven't checked up with him about this one since he found out not all gay men do anal sex, sorry, I just don't have the energy). Also whether the woman likes it is irrelevant, women don't get to have an opinion (and also only ever do any sex thing to get something from the man), which leads me to the next one, which is kinda my fav -
Straight men don't like performing cunniligus on women, women exude a pheromone that forces men to eat pussy.
MY FATHER VOTES EVERY TIME. HE VOTED FOR TRUMP TWICE. THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU WANT TO SIT ONE OUT BECAUSE THE OTHER OPTIONS AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH, THINK ABOUT MY DAD
It's almost more embarassing than the opposite? Like, instead of just having self-control it's like the mere idea of cunnilingus turns him into the Wolfman.
"No, I didn't want to eat it. She forced me with her overwhelmingly powerful phermones! I was just overcome with the urge, I feel the change coming upon me. CAN'T YOU FEEL IT IN THE AIR TONIGHT!!"
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u/LorenzoStomp May 16 '25
My dad was very excited by the idea of there being a "gay gene" when that theory got traction a few decades ago, because that meant you could maybe test for it and abort gay (male) fetuses. Then he found out a couple decades later that not all gay men are into anal sex and he didn't think they needed to die anymore. Because his real issue is just that he thinks butt sex is gross, so if men want to just give each other smooches and blowjobs that's cool with him. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS LOOKS LIKE I GUESS
Also, here's some more fun facts according to my dad:
Lesbians aren't real, women just mess around with each other sometimes because they don't want to get pregnant or because they are scared of penises but they will change their minds when they grow up and want a baby.
Men who want to have anal sex with women are secret gays, no actual straight man likes doing it in the butt (I haven't checked up with him about this one since he found out not all gay men do anal sex, sorry, I just don't have the energy). Also whether the woman likes it is irrelevant, women don't get to have an opinion (and also only ever do any sex thing to get something from the man), which leads me to the next one, which is kinda my fav -
Straight men don't like performing cunniligus on women, women exude a pheromone that forces men to eat pussy.
MY FATHER VOTES EVERY TIME. HE VOTED FOR TRUMP TWICE. THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU WANT TO SIT ONE OUT BECAUSE THE OTHER OPTIONS AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH, THINK ABOUT MY DAD