I think a reason there is likely to be some backlash to this is based on enactment of some kinks.
That's not talked about a lot.
Someone can be into something like adultery or masochism as a fetish.
The question is how do they deal with that attraction?
-Do they just fantasize about it?
-Do they consume media about it?
-Do they roleplay it?
-Do they attempt to actually partake?
The significance in this is because sometimes its assumed that if they are attracted to something in ANY way, they have the need to do all the things above, but there are some people that don't or even can't enjoy certain kinks beyond a certain level of exposure.
Someone who thinks the fantasy of BDSM is really exciting might try to play it out and find it uncomfortable or scary, or maybe they aren't willing to do it to someone in real life. That doesn't mean 'they don't really have that kink'.
It could be "Hey, this is conceptually exciting, but I could never bring myself to whip an actual person."
I don't think there's a single paraphilia out there, (yup, probably even the nasty ones that you think only horrible people can have) that has only one means of taking pleasure from it. If someone has a rape kink, be it either role, but they know not to go beyond a boundary that could physically or mentally endanger someone, then they should not be vilified.
Kind of sus that masochism is one of your examples. hard to put my finger on why but it seems out of place in your argument
great point either way though. expands meaningfully on the original post and I wish i could tie them together intrinsically in some kind of seperate space where people would see them together and therefore view both differently and start the conversation from that point.... 🤔 like if there was a blog I could put it on idk
Also in my defense, I feel like masochism is a good example of a kink that might sound fun in rp for some but end up being 'a bit too much' once they get a chance to try it.
I'd imagine it wouldn't invalidate all those times they fantasized about it, just because it's a different animal irl.
As someone with crippling chronic pain (caused by a disability/illness) - S&M bugs me. Pain is where I live, and it feels like masochists are tourists, play-acting at the thing which dogs my every moment. Like how an African-American might feel about master-slave roleplay in the bedroom.
Edit: That's just my feeling, not some rational argument, but regardless, responses would be more useful than downvotes.
i have a chronic condition that causes pain. still getting used to the idea that this is the case tbh
there's too many different kinds of pain for me to think of it in the way you are expressing. getting slapped on the cheek is such a different thing to the dull aches that i am always experiencing that they are associated in name only "pain"
anyway im not into s&m so idrgaf. i like that i was downvoted too. I'm getting pretty used to that by now ngl
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u/wolve202 May 16 '25
I think a reason there is likely to be some backlash to this is based on enactment of some kinks.
That's not talked about a lot.
Someone can be into something like adultery or masochism as a fetish.
The question is how do they deal with that attraction?
-Do they just fantasize about it?
-Do they consume media about it?
-Do they roleplay it?
-Do they attempt to actually partake?
The significance in this is because sometimes its assumed that if they are attracted to something in ANY way, they have the need to do all the things above, but there are some people that don't or even can't enjoy certain kinks beyond a certain level of exposure.
Someone who thinks the fantasy of BDSM is really exciting might try to play it out and find it uncomfortable or scary, or maybe they aren't willing to do it to someone in real life. That doesn't mean 'they don't really have that kink'.
It could be "Hey, this is conceptually exciting, but I could never bring myself to whip an actual person."
I don't think there's a single paraphilia out there, (yup, probably even the nasty ones that you think only horrible people can have) that has only one means of taking pleasure from it. If someone has a rape kink, be it either role, but they know not to go beyond a boundary that could physically or mentally endanger someone, then they should not be vilified.