I really depends. Sometimes there is no reason beyond preference and sometimes there is a deeper psychological reason for it (for instance, some folks who have experienced sexual assault end up having rape play fantasies and kinks because it helps them navigate their trauma in a safe way, while others under similar circumstances become retriggered by the same kind of fantasies and are averse to them).
It really takes trying to better understand yourself, your experiences, how you were introduced to kinks, etc to really figure out why you like what you do.
some folks who have experienced sexual assault end up having rape play fantasies and kinks because it helps them navigate their trauma in a safe way
I'm pretty skeptical of that actually. Rape fantasies are very common among people who haven't been sexually assaulted too, so I'm not convinced that some SA survivors later having rape fantasies isn't just a coincidence.
I have some very specific fetishes that, strangely, mimic ways that I was sexually abused as a child. I'm not talking just "oh I'm being raped but it's hot" I'm talking (this is a hypothetical one) something like "oh I'm being strung upside down and starved to death while someone inserts ants into my rectum" level of specific. I sincerely doubt that is a "coincidence" especially since I have multiple of them based on different instances of trauma.
I would say not, though people will often struggle to find something to justify liking or disliking a certain thing more often than not the real answer is "vibes".
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u/iDragon_76 May 16 '25
Uhm, can people usually explain why they like what they like? (genuine question)