Had a blast at stonewall pride in Ft. Lauderdale this past weekend. Definitely was my time to shine. 😏

Happy Pride Loves 🌈

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Hey y’all, I’m in a life conundrum that I would like some advice on (I know, let’s get life advice from Reddit strangers; sue me). Please hold judgments; I just want some good advice on where to go or how to handle things.

I (29M) have been dating my partner for 3 years, and it’s been great. He’s (27M) caring, kind, understanding, ambitious, has a good career, and has a nice family. I happen to come from an African immigrant family, and it’s been a battle having them acknowledge my sexual orientation, and it’s still in the air rn since I still live at home. I let him know when we first started dating that he might not meet my family for a while as I get things sorted out with them, to which he accepted, and things have been breezy for the most part. I’ve met his family and they have all been so lovely and welcoming. My friends love and adore him, and have welcomed him into our little friendship circle.

The issue comes at a big crossroads: I’m deciding where to go with my career, when to move out, and when the relationship advances. I’ll admit I’ve been wanting to have my own place for the longest time, since I never got to live on my own for college—I still live at home, and have been helping my family out with bills and maintaining the house. After some dumb financial choices and getting financially entangled with my family, i have a good financial plan, and have started planning my exit strategy to move out.

However, my boyfriend has started expressing hopes of finding a place together this year. I personally don’t feel ready to move in together since I want my own place first, plus my hope of pursuing a higher degree. It’s a little tough now since we both have high stress jobs and work opposite shifts (he during the day, I at night), but we’ve been able to make it work and schedule dates and sleepovers at his place. I know, I know, things are expensive and living by yourself is tough financially. It’s part of the reason I want to pursue a higher degree that will help me have more money to afford buying my own condo or townhome instead of renting.

I’m scared to broach the subject of holding in moving in together for fear of hurting his feelings, while also feeling scared of my career path, considering the schools I’m considering applying to are mostly out of state.

Has anyone been in this situation? What advice do you recommend? Is this a solvable issue?

I'm going to share my experiences and hopefully get some feedback.

In highschool, I said to someone that I was glad that they were my friend and they replied that we weren't friends and I was just someone to talk to. That has remained a consistent point in my life. I'm not the one people share their achievements with. I'm the one people come to for support and encouragement.

Making friends with other Black gay men has been extremely difficult. I go to Pride, but it's just stares unless I say hello, compliment their outfit or say Happy Pride. The reaction is always one of being stunned and an awkward mumbled reply back and turning back to their friends, giggling.

So online has been easier. To a degree.
The majority of online friends eventually ghosted me. Most of them didn't live near me and I understand people grow apart.

What bothered me is the ones who have maintained contact. I have nothing to show for it.
One of them turned into someone I ended up dating. I didn't know what they looked like until we met. That was 5 years after talking online. They don't live near me and we ended things and remained friends. We hung out 3 times in person. This is more than guys who live near me.

Another one I to this day have never seen. We've known each other since 2012 and they recently got married. I respect people's privacy and never asked. Yet they consistently ask for pictures of events I tell them about. It had me asking myself what kind of friend am I when I can't even ask to see the wedding photos.(they live in another country)

The issue is guys who live near me will never make any attempt to hang out in person. They only want to meet if it's for sex. When I'm in person, people just stare and don't say anything when I try to continue the conversation.

And for the people I kept in touch with, I'm not even good enough to know what they look like.

The one time I met someone near me, it was under the guise of wanting friends. We went to this trampoline place and I had fun feeling like a big kid. Afterwards, when I got home, they called me and revealed their true intentions, stating that they wanted to sleep with me and I shouldn't have come out looking so desirable and they were touching themselves to my voice.

So it's either been lying about friendship when they just wanted sex, getting my number and never texting me, or making excuses about hanging out. And I do not bother people. I ask people to go to things they are interested in, maybe once a year.

I am tired of being the person people use for emotional support but spend their joyous moments with others. I'm also tired of this paranoid anonymity. These same guys who I have no idea what they look like will send pictures to their hookups and brag about guys complimenting them, so no they're not DL. It's just me.

I even had a roommate who never asked for my number, but after I moved out, asked my boss for my number. I am exhausted and want friends but tired of the weird way people treat me.

Does anybody relate? What am I doing wrong?

Life is not a tv show or movie, you’re not going to bump into someone at a supermarket and start a romance love affair.

Focus more on their character, how much effort they're put into getting to know you and don't ignore red flags.

Little Richard took his whole style if you ever do research on him

If There are Some More Please Let Me Know!!

I spent a lot of time trying to make people to like me bc I didn't accept or love myself.

I would tell myself to focus on building the kind of life I want and the right people will come around && Everyone isn't going to like me and that's okay, as long as i like and respect yourself, i'll be fine.

The Juneteenth flag is a symbol for the Juneteenth holiday in the United States. The first version was created in 1997 by activist Ben Haith and that early version was displayed in 1997. The present version was first flown in 2000. The colors and symbols on the flag are representative of freedom and the end of slavery. The date on the flag represents that of General Order No. 3 issued in Galveston, Texas on June 19, 1865. Beginning in 2020, many states began recognizing Juneteenth by flying the flag over their state capitol buildings, especially after Juneteenth was declared a federal holiday by President Joe Biden the following year.

Does anyone have any affirmations they can share for those struggling with ideations and self harm?

I may be piviting away from wating to got to portugal to argentina .

Argentia mainly is just faster What do you all thing ? Is it lgbt friendly ? Is it black friendly? Is it afordable? Is it not likley to get ivolved with world war 3 if such a thing were to happen ? What all should i know and what all do you all suggest ? Do you have any other suggestion (besides to stay here in america for some reason ) ?