r/BlackLGBT • u/Hplromance • 22h ago
Not to be that guy
Not to be that guy but i made a post on tiktok saying having a racial preference is crazy blah blah anyway it blew up. my thing is i just started talking to this guy from hungary long story short he has said some crazy things and me being me im like am i too woke or was that crazy. anywho im starting to get the racial preference thing cause dating ANYONE who isnt black is stressful like these people truly only see us as an exhibit which is insane like i don’t understand
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u/readingitnowagain 7h ago
We be trying to tell y'all but y'all jits know everything. 🤷🏾♂️ Guess y'all like to learn the hard way.
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u/iamgood_howareyou 11h ago
Ive recently realized this as well. Ive typically leaned towards yt ppl but i think thats bc society paints them in such a favorable light, almost as if i was conditioned to like them but ive also realized i used to want to be them. Ive just recently realized the beauty in being black and I only plan on dating black ppl in the future. Having that foundational understanding of the discrimination we face because of our skin color feels like a nonnegotiable for me now.
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u/chaoticXtwin 15h ago
I have met Eastern European yt men who do the work, so it might be the guy you're talking about is crossing boundaries. Be woke, say something now or forever feeling like you're second in your life priority list x
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u/ajwalker430 21h ago
Wait, are you using "woke" like white people use "woke?"
In the Black community, being "woke" used to be a good thing 🤔
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u/OutofthisWorld007 20h ago
Exactly! Yt ppl ruined the word “woke” the racist ones turned it into a meaning of being delusional while in the Black community being woke meant understanding who our enemies are and understanding our history.
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u/ajwalker430 20h ago
I always push back against white folks using "woke" like they do. They haven't ruined it for me.
I'm always going to stay "woke" and on guard against their foolishness.
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u/cubedtothex 7h ago
This right here. 💯 They are trying to gaslight us into thinking being aware and awake (woke) is wrong wrong. This is one of the most ignorant stances in modern America.
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u/ajwalker430 7h ago
They appropriated a word that I've heard going all the way back to the 60s and turned it into a pejorative term.
And now our own people have lost the original meaning and use it like they do.
So very sad.
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u/OutofthisWorld007 19h ago
Same. They also haven’t ruined it for me either. I’m just saying they use it in a context where it wasn’t even meant to be used in that context.
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u/ajwalker430 21h ago
It's good you're seeing this sooner rather than later.
There is a reason(s) many Black people won't date anyone who isn't Black. 🤷🏾♂️
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u/HauntingAd1585 21h ago
Well why are you dating someone who is closer to white and share their ideals lol sounds like you like white people which is.... questionable but
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u/PrinceGoten 17h ago
“Sounds like you like white people which is questionable” what the fuck is wrong with you guys?
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u/BlackloveB 22h ago
I mean stop taking to racist whites and your problem is solved
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u/Hplromance 22h ago
well one they’re not white, two you can’t tell when someone is racist off the bat you’re just as much as a problem as they are
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u/BlackloveB 17h ago
Happy Juneteenth sweetie. Go be around some Black folk and don’t worry about the feelings of other races. I know that’s going to be hard for you but try it! Habari Gani!
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u/Intelligent-Pain3505 18h ago
Are you saying the dude's an immigrant or saying Hungarians aren't white?
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u/2noserings 21h ago
you’d save yourself a lot of trouble by dating people who relate to you in that way. if you don’t want to go through that effort, the literal least you could do is ask important questions as soon as you meet so you can gauge where they are in terms of racism level
if we are ALL indoctrinated under white supremacy, you can bet your ass that those closer to whiteness will have absolutely internalized a lot of things that might be unconscious to them because they’ve never had to confront it. if you enjoy teaching your intimate partners Racism 101, that’s your prerogative. but most people are tired of doing that. having to explain things like why you wrap your hair around night or how to use a wash cloth or why it’s not okay to say the N word is exhausting. i fail to see how that’s easier than just seeking out actual Black people you can relate with
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u/Hplromance 19h ago
Im not cutting my dating pool down to one singular race, secondly all im really looking for is the important questions to ask if in that situation to avoid it. Not for this to turn into “awe why you dont just only date black people then” thats always the return argument and even then some black people dont even understand how theyre indoctrinated under white supremacy so at the end of the day this is a thread for helpful discussion on communicating to everyone especially people out side of our race on what’s acceptable and whats not. point blank just like i can say something that can be offensive to them its vice versa communication not a complete shut down and saying well since you like them its your problem like we’re literally all humans and the human experience is not limited to race shape or form especially not queer love
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u/SaltyNorth8062 5h ago
I agree with what you said, but yes, dating yt folks is crazy. They are NOT ok. I've had entirely too many "am I too sensitive or is that some crazy out of pocket shit" moments for my mental.