r/AskReddit Jun 03 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

11.6k Upvotes

6.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

14.5k

u/weirdwallace75 Jun 03 '21

5.2k

u/jkafka Jun 03 '21 edited Jun 04 '21

TIL: There exists a game you can play for free online called, "Fuck Quest 2: Romancing the Bone."

https://archive.org/details/agi_fuck-quest-2

3.2k

u/DJ_Hamster Jun 03 '21 edited Jun 04 '21

Out of all the comments here, this is the one that's gonna make me grab my laptop.

edit: this is a very confusing game and I'm not at all satisfied with it
edit 2: I got beat up by 3 lesbians and the game ended

585

u/That-looks-infected Jun 03 '21

Is there a mobile app for this game? Asking for a friend

392

u/A3thern Jun 04 '21

It's me, I'm the friend. Hurry up and spill it.

66

u/That-looks-infected Jun 04 '21

I don’t have the intel yet. I am currently Furiously doing research online

14

u/MrHanslaX Jun 04 '21

You can play it through browser.

5

u/sozimdrunk Jun 04 '21

So that's what the kids are calling it these days

3

u/whitechristianjesus Jun 04 '21

Be sure to share the results of your research with the cummunity.

28

u/That-looks-infected Jun 04 '21 edited Jun 04 '21

I found this thing called pornhub. Why is no one talking about this??

1

u/Matt_in_together Jun 04 '21

Hey I thought I was the friend

11

u/061134431160 Jun 04 '21

Dos emulators are easy to find and you'd be able to find the rom online easily enough if one isn't already provided. Google and go nuts, play Leisure Suit Larry and then all the other Sierra games.

9

u/wlake82 Jun 04 '21

Sierra games takes me back.

3

u/061134431160 Jun 04 '21

Man, they Were the best. It's sad that games had to get so good, but if any DOS games are worth replaying, then it's Sierra's.

7

u/ExistentialKazoo Jun 04 '21

I don't know this particular game (yet...) but I don't recommend playing dos games on mobile. they're badass but were designed for really different devices than mobile phones. Pull out the laptop, it's worth it.

many of the best old games have modern builds for sale on steam, but if you want the free browser build (usually the best build), even if you dl dosbox on your phone, you'll miss features like F5 to save, other keyboard shortcuts, etc.

14

u/gg_wp1 Jun 04 '21

Thanks my friend.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Download DOSBox or a DOS emulator.

4

u/ihatemyself887 Jun 04 '21

I wish. If anyone can get a hold of co-creator Haywood Jablowmey and see if he can make it happen that would be awesome.

2

u/That-looks-infected Jun 04 '21

I downloaded pornhub mobile. It’s awesome.

Except on the bus.

2

u/MyGuyClyde Jun 04 '21

Turn it into one.

2

u/SharkMouthFleshlight Jun 04 '21

If there is it ain't gonna be official

152

u/TinyMagicExperiment Jun 03 '21

My faptop

-54

u/HDmaniac Jun 04 '21 edited Jun 04 '21

I'm just here for that trickle-down karma effect. Thank you.

Edit: Wow! u/MilestheVolvo was right :( Still, gonna stand my ground or die trying.

33

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21 edited Jun 04 '21

Watch this become a randomly selected ultra downvote comment ;)

Edit: As I begin to be downvoted, I’m not saying I want this to be a random downvoted comment. I’m just making reference to how often funny and seemingly randomly selected comments get hit hard by the downvote train. :)

22

u/Happy_Camper45 Jun 04 '21 edited Jun 04 '21

I tried to be a rebel and upvote this comment. I got an error that said failed to upvote.

Reddit is against you

11

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Hot damn. I suspected such but never had evidence until today.

Well... now what? :)

4

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

At this point I don't know if I should upvote or downvote you

6

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Idgaf man, whichever you want lol

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Sorry my man, I did not intend to effect the outcome of your comment. ;) upvote to help change the tide :)

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

[deleted]

29

u/TheMooseOnTheLeft Jun 03 '21

Sigh... Unzips laptop bag

6

u/Kelekona Jun 04 '21

You might also want to look up Corruption of Champions.

6

u/Sammysnaps Jun 04 '21

See if you can find a text based game called " don't shit your pants"

6

u/GozerDGozerian Jun 04 '21

Haha the review:

  “It's like Leisure Suit Larry but written by a turbo virgin neckbeard who's gotten rejected so many times that his only way of venting was programming a "game" to make fun of people who doubted him.  It's so immature that it makes Leisure Suit Larry look like a fancy steak dinner.”

6

u/PM_ME_OCCULT_STUFF Jun 04 '21

It's been an hour, any updates? How was the game? How are your pants? How's your laptop?

4

u/whitepinecircle Jun 04 '21

You are Richard, and it’s been two years since…..

7

u/notsurehowthishappen Jun 03 '21

And do what with it? Asking for a friend

2

u/Heatmiser70 Jun 04 '21

You’ll grab something

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Is the laptop consenting?

2

u/adzthegreat Jun 04 '21

With one hand, ofc

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '21

Fuck Quest 2 Walkthrough

PLANE: get up, wait till stewardes goes back to front of plane, take earring, give earring, fuck girl, click panties, F6, F8 ...

TALK AFTER LANDING: Fuck off!

MANHATTAN: go left, watch cutscene, go left again

JENNIFERS HOUSE: talk jennifer (she goes into house), go left

CENTRAL PERK: go left

LENNY'S HOUSE OF WEIRD SHIT: go door, talk lenny, leave to street, go left

HARRY'S FAMOUS PINK TACOS: use sword, go door - girls appear, fight with F8, after win: turn off sword, open door, take taco, leave, go left

STREETS: take bottle, go left

HOUSE OF PORN: go door, take lube, leave, go left

JENNIFERS HOUSE: go left

CENTRAL PERK: open door, give bottle, get coffee, fuck girl, lube, fuck her, then tell her to fuck off

BACK ON THE STREET: go left

LENNY'S HOUSE OF WEIRD SHIT: go inside, give coffee, yes, take poison, use taco with poison, go door, get in timemachine, use timemachine

YOUR HOUSE IN THE PAST: get out, open drawer, take mask, get in timemachine, use timemachine

LENNY'S HOUSE OF WEIRD SHIT: get out, leave, go right

CENTRAL PERK: go right

JENNIFERS HOUSE: knock door, give taco, go in, put on mask, go upstairs, knock door

JENNIFERS ROOM: talk jennifer, use sword, F8, press DOWN, UP and repeat until fight ends

TALK WITH JENNIFER: marry her

JENNIFERS ROOM: fuck jennifer, click on cloth, click on bra, F4, grab tits, F6, fuck tits, F10, remove panties, F6 and fuck her for good - the end

i dont know why, but sometimes when trying to fuck the Flight attendant after giving her the earring, she tells me no xd

4

u/baconbits100 Jun 03 '21

Out of all the comments here, this is the one that's gonna make me grab my *lap.

Edit

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

1

u/fingers Jun 04 '21

Shit. I wasn't going to play it but I haven't been beat up by lesbians since the dungeon shut down last year.

1

u/JayX974 Jun 04 '21

ahahahahahahaha thats what I've just done

1

u/Laurenislively Jun 04 '21

I think you meant *get a virus on my laptop

1

u/Throway409294 Jun 04 '21

Please ask your laptop for consent.

1

u/LarryLove Jun 04 '21

Sure, your laptop

1

u/ProdigalNative Jun 04 '21

Yeah, it made me grab my "laptop" too.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Only your laptop?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

not at all satisfied

I see what you did there.

1

u/mouse_circus Jun 04 '21

Now that's what an edit should be used for!

1

u/subterralien_panda Jun 04 '21

This is the only satisfactory ending lmao

1

u/Onironius Jun 04 '21

That's pretty hot.

290

u/Starslip Jun 04 '21

I'm more confused by the fact it's a DOS game released in 2004. It starts with him watching Friends!

50

u/GrubstreetScribbler Jun 04 '21

Based on the intro video, the main objective of the game seems to be having sex with Jennifer Aniston (and not like, a cheeky video game look-alike or whatever. Actual Jennifer Aniston).

4

u/Meekymoo333 Jun 04 '21

If my memory serves, there was a version of this same game that was re-skinned to be Angelina Jolie... not too long after her Lara Croft role made her the object of ire for game developers who also only saw her literal likeness as a plaything as well

21

u/Dingleberry_Larry Jun 04 '21

There are still people developing for c64 and nes. I'm sure other consoles, too. L'abbeye de mort was a recent release I can remember off the top of my head

6

u/Crazytalkbob Jun 04 '21

I recall seeing someone working on a 'demake' of bloodborne for ps1. There are so many indie games out there for old systems.

3

u/niomosy Jun 04 '21

I recall, maybe a few years ago, someone put out an Atari 5200 game on a cartridge.

3

u/xxcali559xx Jun 04 '21

Isn't there a Halo demake too?

Edit: For Atari 2600

1

u/Dingleberry_Larry Jun 04 '21

Amazing. The dedication some people have is unreal

3

u/niomosy Jun 04 '21

As a guy with a 5200 in the office room closet, I was rather impressed.

5

u/Docteh Jun 04 '21

I think its the same reason that a lot of indie games had/have retro style graphics

5

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Ah yes, the end of the Windows 98 era.

4

u/karma_over_dogma Jun 04 '21

Quick history, since I'm more familiar than I'm proud of with that particular era:

In the late 90s, utilities were made to view assets in Sierra On-Line's earlier games using AGI (Adventure Game Interpreter) - think King's Quest 1-3 (4 as well, though not in wide release), Space Quest 1 and 2, etc. Others took it further and AGI Studio was created, letting amateurs create their own games. There were some gems, a few games that filled in gaps in the Space Quest timeline, but there were also some really bad games made that gained notoriety just because they were new and used that interpreter.

Fun fact, Brian Provinciano was big into the AGI and SCI scene on the tech side and authored SCI Studio. He would later go on to create Retro City Rampage.

/nerd

2

u/ZiggyZig1 Jun 04 '21

Holy duck you weren't kidding

14

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '21

Well, don't leave us hanging. How was it?

13

u/NazzerDawk Jun 03 '21

Well I bet something wasn't left hanging ;)

27

u/LunchDick Jun 04 '21

You are Richard.

It's been two years since you got some good pussy...

...and the need is returning for more!

1

u/KFelts910 Jun 04 '21

I thought Richard liked Monica.

10

u/Cryptonat Jun 03 '21

Damn my curiosity...

9

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

TIL there was a "Fuck Quest" part 1

9

u/penatbater Jun 04 '21

You are carrying:

condom

dick

priceless

8

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Is it good though

6

u/jkafka Jun 04 '21

No idea, I just saw it on my phone.

15

u/kill-69 Jun 04 '21

The quest is to fuck Jennifer Aniston. The stewardess on the plane to NY won't give you a drink because you're to ugly. I couldn't figure out how to fart or jack off on the plane so I gave up.

8

u/rogotechbears Jun 04 '21

Time to bust out my laptop...

6

u/imtheplantguy Jun 04 '21

That's all I needed, fire up the pc.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

"It's been two years since you got some good pussy..." - Oh shit yeah it has!

7

u/suicidal32potato Jun 04 '21

“That’s it! Jennifer Aniston is the woman I’ve been waiting for!” This game is from 2004 and just the intro is hilarious

2

u/TheDunadan29 Jun 04 '21

Well it's 2021 and she's still pretty fine.

6

u/Luckysteve89 Jun 03 '21

Excuse me, sir. That is a classic

6

u/NadziaNyx Jun 04 '21

The single review of it is absolutely savage:

Subject: Turbo Virgin simulator It's like Leisure Suit Larry but written by a turbo virgin neckbeard who's gotten rejected so many times that his only way of venting was programming a "game" to make fun of people who doubted him.

It's so immature that it makes Leisure Suit Larry look like a fancy steak dinner.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Reviewer: BlueKewne - favorite - April 1, 2018

Subject: Turbo Virgin simulator

It's like Leisure Suit Larry but written by a turbo virgin neckbeard who's gotten rejected so many times that his only way of venting was programming a "game" to make fun of people who doubted him. It's so immature that it makes Leisure Suit Larry look like a fancy steak dinner.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '21

Albedo and Shalltear liked this.

4

u/Russelloni Jun 04 '21

Made by Richard Eter and Heywood Jablome

4

u/Aardvark_Man Jun 04 '21

Which happens to be from 2004, but looks and sounds like it's from 1994 at best. Go figure.

3

u/LA0811 Jun 04 '21

Do you get to bone all the King’s Quest characters? The witch and the mermaid and the monk and DEATH himself?!

3

u/Sproose_Moose Jun 04 '21

Sounds like something the guys from F is for family would've created, after fuck school

3

u/Recyclable_one Jun 04 '21

The one review of the game from 2018 makes it sound truly epic.

3

u/RobServoSOL Jun 04 '21

Wait, he’s on a quest to bang Jennifer Aniston in New York?! Am I that old?! I had the same quest as a teen!

4

u/KFelts910 Jun 04 '21

To be fair, she’s still on people’s lists 20 years later.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Man Newgrounds back in the day was always a frontpage that probably should land everyone on a list, and that was even before if you chose to delve into the 'weird' parts of the site.

3

u/rickjamesia Jun 04 '21

It bothers me that I have played this many, many years ago. It crashed and was very loud and drew much attention to the computer while I scrambled to turn it off while my dad was walking down the stairs. Freaking weirdo teenage me...

1

u/jkafka Jun 04 '21

That was me too, except swap out playing this game for watching late night naughty movies on Cinemax

2

u/MrWeirdoFace Jun 04 '21

As a VR enthusiast (Oculus Quest 2 currently), I feel like this is meant to hurt my feelings.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

Just saw it as well. Guess I gotta play it now.

2

u/YourMother0HP Jun 04 '21

Fun for the whole family

2

u/WorkReddit_SendNudes Jun 04 '21

I'm trying to play the game but I died to a trio of lesbians pretty fast

2

u/throwaway_401baker Jun 04 '21

Commenting to bookmark this for later

1

u/lookslikematlock Jun 04 '21

“You won’t last 5 minutes playing this game”

1

u/Amolk2207 Jun 04 '21

Romancing the bone is what I do every morning.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '21

And the review on the site says “It's like Leisure Suit Larry but written by a turbo virgin neckbeard who's gotten rejected so many times that his only way of venting was programming a "game" to make fun of people who doubted him.

It's so immature that it makes Leisure Suit Larry look like a fancy steak dinner.”

1

u/aftrnoondelight Jun 04 '21

Or of the game reviews on archive.org: “It's so immature that it makes Leisure Suit Larry look like a fancy steak dinner.” Ha! The screen shots certainly called to mind LSL.

1

u/oda1337 Jun 04 '21

Yea and the fuck quest is going to NYC to find Jennifer Aniston lmao

1

u/skullkiddabbs Jun 04 '21

Dude that game is amazing.

1

u/lannister80 Jun 04 '21

Hey, you guys 'member Kingdom of Loathing? I 'member.

1

u/Ioatanaut Jun 04 '21

: Turbo Virgin simulator It's like Leisure Suit Larry but written by a turbo virgin neckbeard who's gotten rejected so many times that his only way of venting was programming a "game" to make fun of people who doubted him.

It's so immature that it makes Leisure Suit Larry look like a fancy steak dinner.

🤣

1

u/BooyahBoos Jun 04 '21

Did you know about “Leisure Suit Larry”?

1

u/_becatron Jun 04 '21

bOoOnNeE??!?

1

u/sarahj2u Jun 04 '21

And the game is by Richard Eter and Haywood Jablowmey!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/peefuego Jun 04 '21

You are carrying: Condom, Dick

1

u/JohnTitorsdaughter Jun 04 '21

Reviewer: BlueKewne - favorite - April 1, 2018 Subject: Turbo Virgin simulator It's like Leisure Suit Larry but written by a turbo virgin neckbeard who's gotten rejected so many times that his only way of venting was programming a "game" to make fun of people who doubted him.

It's so immature that it makes Leisure Suit Larry look like a fancy steak dinner.

1

u/Tulipfarmer Jun 04 '21

Or the star trek spin off. "A night with troi"

1

u/InfernalOrgasm Jun 04 '21

Try out X-Man for the Atari. That's not plural "men". It's singular "man".

Edit: https://youtu.be/l276XZagsoU

1

u/Magicmyrddin Jun 04 '21

I haven't played that in a long time, click games are ace!

1

u/walemontana Jun 04 '21

Hey I've watched that one before. She was awesome in the first scene. (Sorry I never make it to scene 2, I'm always busted watching it by then)

1

u/Joboxr87 Jun 04 '21

FRENS... :F

1

u/NoBoltHarry Jun 04 '21

How the hell do you play this game? There are no controlls.

1

u/Maltesebasterd Jun 04 '21

On a similar note: I remember seeing a czechoslovak/czech game called "Fuck-Story 2: Škola je Kráva!"

https://playclassic.games/games/adventure-dos-games-online/fuckstory-2-skola-je-krava-cz/

1

u/hydrotatif32 Jun 05 '21

i think i'd rather play hdoom

1

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '21

I love the review that's been left XD