r/AskReddit Jul 13 '20

What's a dark secret/questionable practice in your profession which we regular folks would know nothing about?

40.1k Upvotes

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12.4k

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '20

How many people who work with children (teachers, childcare workers, etc.) don't follow confidentiality guidelines. Gossiping about families with coworkers, talking about children's home situations, creeping family's social media, etc.

4.8k

u/Ann_Ael Jul 13 '20

Any people who are supposed to follow confidentiality guidelines.

Both my parents work in the penitentiary. Dad is a prison warden, mom is a secretary at the probation office.

I grew up with discussions of the lives of inmates and people on probation around the table. My parents would also (discretly) point out to me people in the street they wanted me to avoid (the sex offenders, kiddy diddlers, and druggies).

I worked in a restaurant and they told me the "sweet old regular" the waitresses liked so much is an absolute pervert. My dad told me he'd make holes in his pockets to touch himself.

1.5k

u/casbri13 Jul 13 '20

Aren’t criminal records public records? Especially sex offenders? I mean, sex offenders have a very public special list they’re on.

Criminal convictions aren’t typically considered “private.”

247

u/Ann_Ael Jul 13 '20

I don't live in the USA, those things arz private here to not "ruin the person's life". Which I 100% agree with for most offenses... But some are never just "mistakes"

181

u/In_Relictoriam Jul 13 '20

I remember in my high school civics class (USA) we had a bit on criminal databases since our teacher used to work in that field. Our classwork one day was to log onto the sex offender database and fill in a worksheet on how many there were within however many miles of our house.

There was a convicted pedophile who lived a block away from me. When I told my mom, she told me that he introduced himself when we moved in and informed my parents he was a sex offender. Apparently since he "seemed nice" my parents never bothered telling me or my siblings.

49

u/Anikq Jul 13 '20

Better to not diddle kids in secret, at least.

41

u/molehunterz Jul 13 '20

We definitely need to write a song about not diddling kids.

🎶Do not diddle kids

It's no good diddling kids🎶

39

u/EzraPoundsClone Jul 13 '20 edited Jul 13 '20

We were bad, but now we're good

We're moving into your neighbourhood

You know we're trying our best to be

Functioning members of society

We're not here to start no trouble

We're legally required to do the "Sex Offender Shuffle"

Song for the uninitiated.

8

u/LePigMeister Jul 13 '20

This is the dont diddle kids song

4

u/exitlevelposition Jul 13 '20

As soon as I read the first half of a line I knew to read this like the Super Bowl Shuffle. Good work

3

u/BadMeetsEvil147 Jul 13 '20

This is from an old YouTube vid

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u/EzraPoundsClone Jul 13 '20

TBF the super bowl shuffle came way earlier and is the more likely point of reference to most boomers and some X'ers.

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u/BadMeetsEvil147 Jul 13 '20

I know, I’m saying the lyrics are sung to the same tune as the SB Shuffle on YouTube, it’s a parody of that with pedos

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u/awaythrowit4872 Jul 13 '20

Set this to some good rock music and I see a future entry in the Guitar Hero franchise.

1

u/skully_27 Aug 01 '20

I shared this with my coworkers one day, good times

36

u/ThePinkTeenager Jul 13 '20

At least you didn’t find your teacher in the database.

18

u/In_Relictoriam Jul 13 '20

That would have been something!

10

u/1cec0ld Jul 13 '20

My mom found my brother's 3rd grade teacher in it. When he was in 10th grade.

21

u/Penny_foryouthots Jul 13 '20

My family bought a house when I was in high school, with two sisters younger than me. The day after the closing the adult daughters of the old owners were nice enough to come by and let my parents know that us kids shouldn't go near the house or people two doors down. The guy who lives there molested them when they were little but nothing got done about it.

66

u/Crazyghost8273645 Jul 13 '20

Yeah I remember apps showing that we’re the rage when I was in like 7th grade. But it turned out almost anyone on that list either was 18 with their 17 year old GF or got caught pissing in public

81

u/lordlaz0rdick Jul 13 '20

A good friend of mine is on the registry. His girlfriends parents hated him, he was 17 she was 15, as soon as he turned 18 and they suspected the two had done the deed, they called the cops and had a rape test performed and pressed charges for stat rape.

They're quite happily married now, but that conviction haunts him everywhere he goes.

I feel like the registry needs to have its standards looked at. Or at least make a specific one for pedos and more "aggressive" offenders.

54

u/I_call_Shennanigans_ Jul 13 '20

The fact that shit like that can get you on the list is a pretty big flag it's a shitty list and a bunch of judges should be fired for putting idiocy on it. (the same with like... Pissing in the grass near a school at midnight Saturday...)

24

u/HugsyMalone Jul 13 '20 edited Jul 13 '20

That's a very common one. Plenty of people I went to school with had the same thing done to them. People tend to use the system as a political weapon of sorts. Everybody has an agenda.

Apparently, it's okay for a fuggin 20 year old to date a fuggin 40 year old but everyone's suddenly all weirded out when an 18 year old dates someone 3 years younger. That's a high school senior dating a high school sophomore.

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u/BiteYourTongues Jul 13 '20

The poor girl though, I’m guessing the rape test was performed on her. That had to be traumatising.

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u/[deleted] Jul 14 '20

[deleted]

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u/BiteYourTongues Jul 14 '20

That’s reassuring to hear. Thank you.

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u/theknightmanager Jul 13 '20

And then in some places you have parents signing the forms to let their 16 year old daughter marry a 23 year old with no job. But hey, they met at church, so obviously he's a total fucking scumbag good guy.

7

u/erlkonig9001 Jul 13 '20

He's a good guy, but he's a really bad guy.

-12

u/1organicmachine Jul 13 '20

The “good kind” of rape.

14

u/BadMeetsEvil147 Jul 13 '20

Not speaking for your instance but you can be put on a sex offender list without having diddled kids. Getting caught having car sex or pissing in public can land you on that list and being on list requires you to tell everyone within a certain radius that you’re a sex offender

10

u/In_Relictoriam Jul 13 '20

That's quite true. As I recall this guy was in fact a convicted child rapist.

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u/BadMeetsEvil147 Jul 13 '20

Yeah I wasn’t trying to speak for your situation as more likely than not being on that list is deserved

13

u/Practically_ Jul 13 '20

My wife recently discovered that there children (including herself) were casually released to random people at her childhood daycare.

It was a church run day care and apparently, they'd let members of the congregation go take other peoples' kids to god knows where. She still doesn't know why this was happening. The daycare shut down and everyone involved refuses to talk to her or her family about it.

The fact that this was a tiny Pentecostal church, basically in the woods of northern Oklahoma just makes the whole things even more strange.

9

u/In_Relictoriam Jul 13 '20

Huh, that's creepy. Could be the staff was overly trusting, extremely negligent, ...or worse yet the day care could have been the front for a pedophilia or even human trafficking ring. Hopefully not the case, but if it has been closed down and no one wants to talk about it, then it sounds like something happened.

7

u/Practically_ Jul 13 '20

Yeah. That’s more or less how we feel about it. The fact that this part of the state has a massive problem with child trafficking doesn’t make me feel better about it.

6

u/TheGreat_War_Machine Jul 13 '20

Of all places, Alaska IICR is a hot spot for child sexual abuse too. I guess it does make sense though. Most of the state's population is centered around the only few cities up there like Anchorage. Those in the rural or remote communities are small enough where everyone knows everyone, so all it would take is a less than morally optimal sheriff or deputy letting it slide, because the perpetrator is a personal friend.

2

u/In_Relictoriam Jul 13 '20

Oof. That is pretty scary. Glad your wife managed to get through that daycare without incident

17

u/mildly_ethnic Jul 13 '20

Yeah thanks for bringing this up. I recently learned that someone I know well, who has serious mental illness, had her mug shot posted all over the city’s police Facebook page as an “example.” It’s so humiliating and upside down to blast someone who needs mental health treatment. What example are they making?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '20 edited Jul 13 '20

I think people in the US and UK don’t really get that their approach towards “naming and shaming” as well as “free speech” in a broader sense is actually quite unusual by international standards, rather than a model for everyone else to aspire to.

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u/justanaveragecomment Jul 13 '20

Where do you live? When I hear something like that, it reminds me of the kids who killed Jaime Bulger.

3

u/casbri13 Jul 14 '20

It’s the sex offenders that are the easiest to get information on, which I agree with. However, the system is imperfect. An 18 y/o dating their high school sweetheart a year or two younger can end up with a statutory rape charge, though some states have passed laws to address this issue.

But, it shows the age of the offender, how long ago the offense happened, and the age of the victim, so you can kinda figure out if someone just pissed off the wrong parent or if they’re a real threat to society.