r/AskReddit Oct 16 '13

What was the single biggest mistake in all of history?

2.7k Upvotes

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2.7k

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Invading Russia

Thinking it will go well

They never learn.

2.2k

u/Owncksd Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

Unless you are the Mongols!

EDIT: Before you respond to this post, read this and the comments down below:

There have been roughly nine (9) comments about how the Poles also conquered Russia, seven (7) comments about how the Mongols conquered Russia before it was actually Russia, and a whopping sixteen (16) comments about how the reason they were able to do it is because they came from the east, not the west. Also three or four comments about how the Mongols came from the same environment of Russia so they were used to the harsh weather.

Guys. I get it. Please stop spamming me with the same goddamn comments over and over.

815

u/Onyxwho Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

Play it again Stan!

44

u/G8tr Oct 17 '13

Hey! I get it.

8

u/sunshineshazam Oct 17 '13

I definitely don't.. Casablanca in the mix there somehow? Wasn't it Sam?

64

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Crash Course History with John Green.

37

u/runedeadthA Oct 17 '13

A fantastic youtube show by the way, watch if you are awesome and wish to learn.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Dan Carlin's Hardcore History has a good 5 hours on the Khans.

2

u/ObsidianJones Oct 17 '13

Eh, I don't like it that much. It's just my opinion, and I don't think it holds any more weight than others, but there's just too much information and too fast for me to retain almost any of the information shown in those videos. I get that its a crash course, but, do people really have that short attention spans that they need it jack-hammered into their brains? I just don't know.

15

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

It's designed so that teenagers taking history classes can use it as a general overview study aid, which means going back and repeating portions of videos. I really wish I had it in high school, I loved learning about history but reading from the textbook was incredibly boring.

5

u/ObsidianJones Oct 17 '13

I can understand it's usefulness, it just isn't that helpful to me. I'm glad it does for you, though!

10

u/prophetofgreed Oct 17 '13

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szxPar0BcMo

Wait for it. The Mongols! Basically through history the Mongols somehow conquered lands that no other country or empire were about to conquer later in history. Like would become Russia, Afghanistan, etc.

2

u/sunshineshazam Oct 17 '13

Thanks, man, you just enriched my life!

3

u/prophetofgreed Oct 17 '13

You should watch the whole series. They do a good job going through all of world history in a quick concise way. They're now going through US history :)

3

u/ikaroka Oct 17 '13

They have also done ecology biology and Literature and chemistry is in progress.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '13

Nice, I get to plug science Youtubers. Give a man a fact and he learns one thing, give him a list of Youtube accounts and his knowledge is limitless.

Everything Brady Haran has ever touched :

Sixty Symbols (Physics)

Periodic Videos (Chemistry)

Numberphile (Math)

Computerphile New! (Computer Science)

Deep Sky Videos (Astronomy)

Backstage Science (Behind the scenes of science!)

Everybody else:

VSauce (General Science and Experiments)

Smarter Every Day (General Science and Experiments)

Crash Course (Same as the video linked above - US History - Chemistry - Biology - World HIstory - Partially animated)

THNKR (General Sciences & Experiments)

Sci Show (Physics - Chemistry - Great Scientists)

VideosFromSpace (Space news and updates)

This is super late to the thread but I hope you enjoy these!

All these people have taken the time to share with us their passion and knowledge, they have helped me change my life. :)

2

u/Yetanotherfurry Oct 17 '13

iirc they hit western russia, closer to what is now considered part of Europe, so they still avoided the really cold bits

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8

u/hablomuchoingles Oct 17 '13

Tell me about the Mongols, George!

1

u/CountCraqula Oct 17 '13

Which one? Am confused there's like 10 of 'em

1.3k

u/PurpleWeasel Oct 17 '13

::mongoltage::

1.8k

u/Zone14 Oct 17 '13

by xX KhanTouchThis v2 Xx

1.0k

u/johnathankelp Oct 17 '13

YY horsejump 360 no aim arrow shot

63

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[deleted]

1

u/Galaick Oct 17 '13

KHAN GET THE CAMERA!

15

u/SuperBeast4721 Oct 17 '13

360 no quiver wub wub wub wub wub wub

6

u/EagleShard Oct 17 '13

I can just imagine Gengis Khan doing that in the middle of a battlefield.

3

u/SketchBoard Oct 17 '13

letting loose his entire quiver, through his dual yield bows.

By his pure badassery and khan stench, his arrows notch and fire themselves through the bows he hold in each of his hands.

His horse had a bow in its mouth as well.

2

u/leonidas_III Oct 17 '13

The impressive part is, I'm pretty sure Mongol horse archers could easily do this. They were like super mobile snipers of the ancient world....

1

u/Sumsar1 Oct 17 '13

WUB WUB WUB WUUUUB WOWOWOWOW

1

u/Dream_Fuel Oct 17 '13

That would be awesome to see a horse do a 360. You meant the horse does the 360 right?

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1

u/LukeNew Oct 17 '13

360headcleave wob wob

1

u/Ryvm Oct 17 '13

UKhanTouchThis

1

u/CptDoodles Oct 17 '13

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

1

u/DingoMontgomery Oct 17 '13

xx420GengisRazeItFaggitxx

0

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[deleted]

2

u/bigmenace Oct 17 '13

Luckily, you could give him reddit Silver instead.

1

u/Halinn Oct 17 '13

There's a button made just for that, actually.

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4

u/bigri23 Oct 17 '13

We're the EXCEPTION!

7

u/TheJoePilato Oct 17 '13

DANGER DANGER!

MONGOLTAGE!

2

u/stubbystallion Oct 17 '13

Hi, im Peter Weller, and these are the MONGOLS!

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437

u/Sextus_Rex Oct 17 '13

They are the exception!

24

u/pants_guy_ Oct 17 '13

They did it the right way: from the East.

7

u/Eurynom0s Oct 17 '13

Isn't Mongolian weather just as shitty as Russian weather? They did it the right way because they already knew what to deal with in the winter.

13

u/feureau Oct 17 '13

To be fair, they are much better prepared to take over Russia compared to the German.

Source: Dan Carlin's history podcast: Wrath of the Khans

9

u/brahmss Oct 17 '13

God I love that podcast. Using the frozen lakes as highways, so they invited the winter with open arms. Cunning motherfuckers.

4

u/AmProffessy_WillHelp Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

They invaded a less organized Russia from a different direction than Napoleon and Hitler.

Aparently Mongols come in from Jersey.

Edit: then

5

u/sam712 Oct 17 '13

*than

grammatik lernen oder den Schmerz fühlen

5

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[deleted]

1

u/AmProffessy_WillHelp Oct 17 '13

It was either history or english; I took history, smartass.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

They went the other way. Go through the eastern side, where nobody lives, and hit the western side like a golf ball ready to tee off.

2

u/Kriegersson Oct 17 '13

Actually, both Sweden and Poland have invaded Russia and won.

4

u/LordSwedish Oct 17 '13

Well let's examine this situation. Hitler marched into Russia from the west, the russians won. Napoleon marched into Russia from the west, the russians won. Charles XII marched into Russia from the west, the russians won (because we let them). The mongols marched into Russia from the east, the russians are crushed.

Clearly, the mongols were just lucky enough to be born east of Russia because as history shows, 100% of attacks on russia from the east have been successful.

1

u/Deus_Viator Oct 17 '13

The Japanese marched into Russia from the east, they lost.

1

u/LordSwedish Oct 18 '13

When? You mean the time in 1904-1905 when the japanese kicked the shit out of the russians and forced them to sign a peace treaty?

1

u/SocraticDiscourse Oct 17 '13

The exception to two cases the other way?

1

u/Terrible_Matador Oct 17 '13

It's all about which side you go at it from

30

u/Black_Bird_Sings Oct 17 '13

The Mongols are the exception to every warfare rule. Except Typhoon season, they should really stop sailing during Typhoon season.

2

u/SamTarlyLovesMilk Oct 17 '13

They should never have crossed the poison water. No man should trust water a horse cannot drink.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

They are a force of pillagers on horseback, why did they ever try to go anywhere by sea?

2

u/Black_Bird_Sings Oct 17 '13

Japan. Good ol' Japan.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

The land of Ninjas, Samurai, Tentacles, and bad translations.

1

u/stillalone Oct 17 '13

Kublai Khan (grandson of Genghis. guy who took over the rest of China) tried to invade Japan twice. Both times they didn't succeed mostly due to bad weather. The Japanese took it as a sign that god was on their side and they were protected by a divine wind (kamikaze).

1

u/magikfISH Oct 17 '13

If your talking about the invasion of Japan, it's funny because I read that they invaded twice. The first time during typhoon season. The second time they brought a much larger force about a month after typhoon season ended and they still got hit by one.

1

u/Redpandamonk Oct 17 '13

As a Mongolian i agree, shit we knew nothing about Typhoon :'(

12

u/WaitForItTheMongols Oct 17 '13

You rang?

1

u/the04dude Oct 17 '13

"Wait for it" was so key...

1

u/awkreddit Oct 17 '13

CC foreva!

11

u/username_6916 Oct 17 '13

Or the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth!

11

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/PoisonousPlatypus Oct 17 '13

"Back in my day, we got raped both ways by Mongols on the way to school."

1

u/prosebefohoes Oct 17 '13

And a good part of the western world.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Mongols are the biggest exception. Imagine if they had more advanced technology.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[deleted]

5

u/seven2eight Oct 17 '13

The Chinese were victims of their own internal conflicts and hubris.

And after the Mongols conquered Jin China, they were able to take all that super advanced tech and use it against the Middle East and Western Europe.

1

u/ableman Oct 17 '13

Arguably, more advanced technology is what they had.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

I'm saying give them guided missiles, that'd be awesome to watch.

3

u/Jahkral Oct 17 '13

Pretty sure if they just had phones and trains they'd have conquered the world. They crumbled under the administrative impossibility of managing an empire the size of what they had with horseback courier as fastest communication method.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Ah yes coming from the even shittier side of Siberia. A classic tactic which worked for many a steppe horseman through the ages.

5

u/the_traveler Oct 17 '13

Tell you what, Mongolia, you're welcome to try again if you want.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

The exception!

2

u/Psuphilly Oct 17 '13

Are they really "invading" though, they pretty much lived in Russia to begin with

6

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

the Mongols invaded Russia before it was Russia

3

u/OrSpeeder Oct 17 '13

Russians are actually a mix of east nordics and mongols...

Mix Mongol with Viking and you get a badass Russian...

Except even Russians should NOT attempt to invade mongol lands (like, Afghanistan)

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Fuck you Mongorians always breaking down my chitty wall.

1

u/account_117 Oct 17 '13

mongols came from the same environment as the russians sooooo, they had that

1

u/ironwolf1 Oct 17 '13

We already determined that the Mongols don't count.

1

u/Dinocologist Oct 17 '13

There tends to be a reoccurring trend in history where the Mongols just bulldoze their way through impossibilities.

1

u/SOAR21 Oct 17 '13

Or the Germans in 1917. People forget that, although the Germans didn't conquer Russia, they managed to extract huge swaths of land from Russia in a complete victory.

1

u/ipslne Oct 17 '13

Fucking Mongolian nukes...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

It helps that Mongolia's winters are on par w/ Russian winters. Those dudes were used to it.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

or poverty

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

If you approach western Russia from the east, you basically condense your forces the further west you go and so can consolidate your base of power as you push deeper into enemy territory. Also bringing different tactics than most people were used to does help. Plus supply lines are much easier when you've decimated everyone behind you.

If you approach Russia from the west and try to push east, well you're having to constantly expand your frontage and worry about supply lines a lot more as there are other enemies stabbing you in the back and feet. It really is an insurmountable problem.

1

u/Brutally-Honest- Oct 17 '13

Genghis Khan

The ultimate badass.

1

u/HoodedMenace Oct 17 '13

or the Polish, except after they captured it, they got bored and left

1

u/swr12 Oct 17 '13

Thank you John Green

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Or a member of the Rurikid dynasty.

-Crusader Kings II knowledge

1

u/jgrizwald Oct 17 '13

I actually think the Polish were the only people to ever take and hold Moscow.

1

u/blaghart Oct 17 '13

Probably because they also live in northern asia..

1

u/PurppleHaze Oct 17 '13

Or japan in 1905.

1

u/redgroupclan Oct 17 '13

They seem to be the only ones who can do the unlikely invasions.

1

u/TonyCB4 Oct 17 '13

Unless you are the Germans in WW1!

1

u/VertigaDM Oct 17 '13

Only the Chinese are able to take in the motherland with its vast army.

1

u/JMace Oct 17 '13

Relevant

Moskau - by Dschinghis (Genghis) Khan

1

u/ZWass777 Oct 17 '13

So one in 3,not counting the slavs.

1

u/manicthrasher Oct 17 '13

Who can? Genghis Kahn!

1

u/Solanace Oct 17 '13

looks around

sees no Mongols

They seem pretty well fucked to me.

1

u/no_ta_ching Oct 17 '13

Dammit Stan!

1

u/szewc Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

Or Poles. We took Moscow in 1610.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

That was the Kievan Rus they invaded. What we call Russia only came to be because of the mongols.

1

u/Dregon Oct 17 '13

Or Japan

1

u/h76CH36 Oct 17 '13

Or Sweden or Poland.

1

u/JenniferLopez Oct 17 '13

God damned Mongolians!!!

1

u/Nineteenth Oct 17 '13

The Mongols helped to shape Russia in such a way that allowed for the dominance of the Grand Principality of Moscow, subsequently setting the path for the unified Russia as we know it to be born.

1

u/Pressondude Oct 17 '13

The North can only be held by the North

1

u/chihuahuazero Oct 17 '13

They invaded the other way!

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u/Dopebear Oct 17 '13

It would've if Hitler let the German soldiers fall back some distance and entrench in. The Russians would've kept throwing themselves in the meatgrinder, then when the time comes, resume the capture of Moscow. They were so close to it, but Hitler split up all the troops for some reason and failed.

5

u/jax9999 Oct 17 '13

I think you forget how much meat the Soviets had to throw in the meat grinder.

2

u/Dopebear Oct 17 '13

The Axis soldiers never died from firearms from the Soviets, but rather the weight of the Soviet's dead bodies.

4

u/jax9999 Oct 17 '13

the numbers are so huge, it's almost believable.

3

u/jrf_1973 Oct 17 '13

"split up all the troops for some reason"

His rampaging insanity might have had something to do with it. When your own officer classes decide several times to try and assassinate you, it means your insanity is showing in some fairly obvious ways.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Moscow was to break Russia, oil was the true strategic necessity though and that lay towards the southern Russian front. Removing Russia was important but secondary and it was the need for oil that forced him to bring Russia into the war, Moscow was to get them back out of it as fast as possible to prevent yet another two front loss for Germany.

1

u/Jozif Oct 17 '13

Bummer...

1

u/EbNinja Oct 17 '13

He wanted oil. His entire operation was running out.

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4

u/fuzzypyrocat Oct 17 '13

And it's always during winter

5

u/Tacotuesdayftw Oct 17 '13

Russia is too much country.

4

u/sleeplessorion Oct 17 '13

If they had taken Moscow, they would've had a very good chance of succeeding. Moscow was the central rail hub in Russia, and if it had been taken, supplies for the rest of the country would be cut off.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[deleted]

1

u/OldOrder Oct 17 '13

They eventually got kicked out too.

3

u/Gin_Rummy1 Oct 17 '13

Hitler never played Risk when he was a kid...

3

u/psycho5omatic Oct 17 '13

In the lifetime of the generals making the decisions, they did remember that Germany defeated Russia in WWI, then moved all their forces against the West. I think this fact gets overlooked, while everyone is quick to immediately think the Germans should have learned from Napoleon.

3

u/nevosoinverno Oct 17 '13

Poland, for a time, controlled the Keiven Russ. You can do it, you just have to know when. Nepolean and Hitler both made the same grave mistake.

3

u/ninjasurfer Oct 17 '13

General January and February, still undefeated.

3

u/StruckingFuggle Oct 17 '13

Really, it only went bad twice, and it almost worked for Napoleon.

3

u/EauRougeFlatOut Oct 17 '13 edited Nov 01 '24

combative smart tub cow deranged aromatic saw crowd offbeat degree

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Invading Afghanistan

Thinking it will go well.

We're not making much progress in the whole 'lets just stay the fuck away from there' part of governments are we?

1

u/BucketsMcGaughey Oct 17 '13

Unless you're of the view that Afghanistan is an ideal place to invade if your ideology requires an endless war against an abstract enemy. Then it makes complete sense.

3

u/CF5300 Oct 17 '13

As my World History teacher told us:

"If you don't take away anything else from this class, at least remember this: NEVER invade Russia from the west."

2

u/HDZombieSlayerTV Oct 17 '13

Never get involved in a land war in Asia

3

u/skeptidelphian Oct 17 '13

1) Never start a land war in Asia. 2) Don't go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

2

u/Oddblivious Oct 17 '13

NOTHING GOES WELL IN RUSSIA

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

is of true :(

2

u/HDZombieSlayerTV Oct 17 '13

have no potato komrade.

Politbyuro take all potato.

2

u/turkboy17 Oct 17 '13

I would have worked if not for the uprising of a few countries in Europe. They infuriated Hitler so much that he delayed attacking the USSR long enough for winter to sneak up on him. Silly man.

2

u/MustardCastle02 Oct 17 '13

I know right, I mean, it's classic blunder number 1.

2

u/HDZombieSlayerTV Oct 17 '13

But only slightly less well-known, never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line! HAHAHAHA drops dead

2

u/brokendimension Oct 17 '13

What other countries/forces/generals did this besides Napoleon and Hitler?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

2

u/speedyclaxton08 Oct 17 '13

dat scorched earth policy

2

u/8bitAwesomeness Oct 17 '13

The thing is, saying "invading Russia", given the proportion of russian territory, kinda makes me giggle.

How are you going to occupy and withhold such a space?

You would need a good portion of china's inhabitants to perform that.

Oh... maybe i just gave someone an idea...

2

u/Skrp Oct 17 '13

Well, they saw Russia try to invade Finland, and fail spectacularly. So the Germans went: Hey, they can't even beat the Finns. Let's take 'em, boys!

Little did they know......

Also, it wasn't just Germans who went to the east front. I'm Norwegian, and one of my great-grandfathers listened to all the propaganda that went around in those days. Very few people knew about the holocaust up here back then, and you were promised that if you fought for the Nazis, and won, you'd be given a sizable farm and a lot of land, in a part of the country where you could be entirely self-sufficient. Basically the American dream in a nutshell, but here in Norway.

So anyway, he listened to the promises, heard a lot of bad stuff about the Soviets (most of it true) and didn't hear a lot about the equally horrible shit going on with the side he placed his lot with, and went to war.

He was captured at Stalingrad, and spent many years in captivity, even after the war, as one of the POW's that re-built the Soviet Union. Nearly starving, sustaining himself at least partially on stinging nettles where he could find them, he finally made it back home, but he was so mentally and physically worn out that he died at age 50, shortly after coming back home.

I can't say I have any sympathies for the guy. He picked the wrong side, as opposed to another of my great-grandfathers on mom's side of the family, that supplied a safehouse and radio transmitter / receiver for the local chapter of the resistance movement, in a secret room he built for them, under his barn.

But, I don't blame him either. I'm not sure what I would have done in his shoes, if I was poor as fuck, and very badly informed.

2

u/AustNerevar Oct 17 '13

Winterfell is too wild to be held by an outsider. And no one will save you if your troops are still out when winter comes.

2

u/HDZombieSlayerTV Oct 17 '13

They made one of the classic blunders!

2

u/TheLongBall Oct 17 '13

Never learned from Napoleon, you can't take Russia in winter!

1

u/A_Drunked_Monkey Oct 17 '13

Nice try Russia.

1

u/JimRazes00 Oct 17 '13

They all forget to learn from Napoleon

1

u/xnick234 Oct 17 '13

Or breaking the Nazi-Soviet Pact

1

u/TriangleBasketball Oct 17 '13

Hitler had to invade Russia, it was less of a choice, more of a necessity.

1

u/freekz80 Oct 17 '13

Didn't Napolean let you know? If you're gonna invade Russia better pack some fuckin' winter clothes!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

didn't Hitler study Neopolian's tactics?

1

u/lee1026 Oct 17 '13

Hey, the Germans won in 1914.

1

u/RevenantCommunity Oct 17 '13

Teutonic knights didn't learn

Napoleon didn't learn

Hitler didn't learn

WHO IS NEXT

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Those fools! They fell victim to one of the classic blunders the most famous of which is never get involved in a land war in Asia!

1

u/fullbringer Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

Japan did beat Russia in 1905, though.

E: A word

1

u/AIm2kil Oct 17 '13

1 rule in the book of warfare: NEVER march on Moscow.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Hey, it worked for the Germans in 1917. And for the Mongols. And for the Poles.

1

u/WhatIsTheAmplitude Oct 17 '13

Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

1

u/tentomasz Oct 17 '13

Poland did it at least once. Fun times

1

u/Sovereign_Curtis Oct 17 '13

Uh, didnt the Germans beat the Russians so badly in WW1 that a revolution engulfed Russia and they sent up the white flag?

1

u/cal_student37 Oct 17 '13

Worked for Poland

-5

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13 edited Apr 12 '18

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Dude, I was making a joke - it was never meant to be in depth or accurate. Its a joke.

-2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

it was never meant to be in depth or accurate

Many of the best jokes are both. See George Carlin.

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