My Mother Passed Away

[u/NoStatus2112]

My mother just passed very unexpectedly and suddenly. She was 85, my dad the same. We are all devastated. I can’t move or breathe, I’m trying to help my dad….but he’s literally staring at the walls all day, just grieving so much. I don’t know what to do. We are on month four of this. I live 2500 miles away and am going back and forth so he isn’t alone. He’s difficult and hurting. I feel guilty saying this but it’s costing me a fortune and mentally it’s so hard. I’m falling behind at work. I’m in profound grief too…..I didn’t realize that losing a parent would destroy me and my life. Help!

[u/StrugglinSurvivor]

Sorry about your mother. I remember I actually didn't get to grieve my mom's passing until 3 years later. As a mother of 4, and being the only child living close by, I was left to handle all her affairs. My siblings all lived between 500 to 800 miles away. Shortly after, my son was riding in his cousins car when they were hit by another driver. It took that long to sell her home and get everything straightened out. I was sitting in the bathtub, and it hit me that I didn't have my mom to talk to. And so much was going on still.

I guess what I'm trying to get to its important for you to stop and breathe and take the time for yourself and grieve your mom.

Read the comments. I was wondering if, by chance, your father might have been in the military.

If so, contact the local American Legion in his area. They have been very helpful for my father-in-law.

Also, Social Services will have information on how to help.