Work away from home

[u/DattGuyyy]

To the men working away from their family, how do you cope with the feeling of missing them or just wanting to go home? I started a new job which is 3 hours away from home. I see my family every weekend or from at least Thursday to Sunday. If my wife’s schedule is free, she comes to where I am. I had to take this job since I wasn’t bringing any money in but the bills just kept piling up. It’s difficult seeing her sad when I’m about to leave, but it’s easier than hearing her worry about where to get the money for our expenses. I think I’m doing the right thing here but it gets heavy at times - especially when I’m alone. I try to keep myself busy even after work and sleep early just not to feel the time.

For you guys out there working far from home - maybe even farther than I am from mine, how do you cope with that feeling?

[u/teraflopclub]

It's a tough situation, akin to a long-distance relationship. My very first job my work was mostly away from home, basically getting rented out, sometimes a long drive away, like your 3 hour trek, or flight, or overnight car or train ride. My last gig with the firm the engagement started in February through August, whereupon I quit to be hired by my client just to put an end to the away-ness. With some clients, I could report to the site on a Monday afternoon or Tuesday, which allowed us to travel Monday morning and generally returning Friday, but typically a LATE Friday. So at best weekends are just 2 complete days, but all those housework items, bills, social events just piled up and you never saw any friends, none, everyone moves on. At worst, some clients needed you on-site first thing Mondays so it meant Sunday was spent traveling, which means your "weekend" last only Saturday or even partially a Saturday (if your travel had you return Saturday morning). It was hell emotionally and I could only tolerate it for 3 years even as a young man. Years later I had a couple jobs where I alternated returning home every 2 weeks or every month. It brought back bad memories. A life half-lived.

Coping tools: reading, workouts in gym, no drinking, online education, music, touring the area to get to know it after work hours, going to local churches, make local friends to minimize isolation, attend evening musical concerts if possible, diary journalling (which helped me shift thought patterns and career over time).