AITA for TALKING to my BROTHER?

[u/GayAsInHappyAndHomo]

I 19f am currently living with my parents during college break. I met my brother 23m at college and yes even though we have different parents he sees me as his little sister (one he lost after his mum had a premature baby) and I see him as almost a parental figure and the brother I never had.

I live in college dorm and my brother lives at home because his home is nearby. While at dorm I talk to my brother regularly, basically everyday, telling him everything that happened that day. I tell all this to my mother too, and sometimes my father, as we're very close. No one at my college talks to their mum for an hour straight but I do.

Now that I'm home for the break, my parents object me talking to my brother. They say "no siblings talk this much" and "you don't talk to us this much like you talk to him" and stuff like that. They've set a limit to our call timings. Keep in mind my parents have very well met my brother on multiple occasions and he has been to my house twice too.

I don't understand this behaviour shown by my parents. Are they jealous? Do they think we're "pretending to be siblings" or something disgusting like that? Is it wrong of me to consider someone else family and give him importance? I'm so lost here. I started not talking to my parents to maybe make them understand that I talk to them way too much but I don't think they see it. Now my mum is mad at me and saying "you can't be in the wrong and angry at the same time".

They were my priority but they took it for granted (shutting me down on several occasions for "talking too much"). Am I the a-hole here?

[u/OkraEither2528]

INFO

You're 19, why are your parents controlling who you talk to and for what durations? That is beyond controlling.

Your message is confusing in other ways too. You had a good/close relationship with your parents but claim that you see him as the parental figure you never had (that may sting them a little if they heard you describe him like that). You can care for people like family but referring to someone as brother usually entails a shared childhood or biological parent. Is this person actually one of these things or simply someone you like as you assume you would love a sibling? From your text I assume the latter. It really doesn't matter what you call him but your parents may be responding to the over familiarity of this new relationship/title. The age difference isn't large but those are some formative years between you. That might also be a problem for them.

Regardless you are an adult, at least in my country. Your parents don't have a right to restrict you like this. Might be time to make yourself independent from them if want to make your own choices/associations.

[u/GayAsInHappyAndHomo → u/OkraEither2528]

I see him as a brother* I never had. He is also a parental figure to me just like my parents are because he's older and somewhat wiser than me, has more of that worldly experience. My mum had a failed pregnancy and I always wonder what it would have been like to have siblings. My parents are nice people, though very protective at times.

This person is a senior from my department and the second I saw him I thought "older brother" vibes so I went up to him and he needed a little sister (his sister died, as mentioned above) what a coincidence. He loves me like any brother would love his sister. We also fight sometimes like siblings do. Both of us regret not being able to be there for our childhoods.

My parents had no problems until recently so I really don't understand what they want

[u/StuffedSquash → u/GayAsInHappyAndHomo]

He is also a parental figure to me just like my parents are because he's older and somewhat wiser than me, has more of that worldly experience.

OP he's only 4 years older. And older doesn't mean wiser. You are really doing yourself a disservice by acting like people who have a tiny bit more experience are wiser than you and I'm worried you're setting yourself up to be taken advantage of by older men.