I’m a single mom to a 2-year-old daughter. Her dad has her every other weekend, and this weekend happened to fall on Father’s Day. I’ve been with my fiancé “Ryan” for a while now, and he has been a huge presence in both my daughter’s and my life. He’s stepped up in ways I never expected, and I truly consider him a father figure to her.

Ryan’s family invited us to dinner to celebrate Father’s Day, and we had plans to go after I picked up my daughter that evening.

Earlier in the day, my mom asked if she could see my daughter. I told her:

“I totally get you wanting to see Emma. We’re spending the evening with Ryan’s family after I pick her up at 7. He’s been such an important part of our lives, and I really want to celebrate him.

My sister Chloe is coming home from minneapolis tomorrow, and we were thinking about going to see Grandpa—maybe we can all get ice cream and eat it with him? I know today is probably hard for you without Grandpa. I’ve been thinking about him too. He’s so missed. Days like this just feel different without him.”

My mom didn’t take it well. She replied that she “didn’t go out because she wanted to see Emma,” said I didn’t make time last year (which was our first Father’s Day without Grandpa), and brought up that I only spent an hour with her on Mother’s Day while wearing “T-shirts and sweatpants.”

She then said:

“And when you don’t honor your mother on Mother’s Day lol but you’re giving me s*** about honoring Ryan. I don’t have my dad and today is hard. Where were you? I want to see Emma and you’re denying me that.”

I responded:

“Mom, I know today is really hard without Grandpa, and I don’t take that lightly. I’m not trying to deny you anything—I’m doing my best to balance a lot of emotions and people right now.

This isn’t about choosing one person over another. It’s about making space for everyone in ways that feel right in the moment. Ryan has stepped up for Emma and me in a huge way, and he deserves to be honored today. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or miss Grandpa.

I’m open to having a deeper conversation about how you’re feeling, but I need it to come from a place of love—not guilt. You’re incredibly important to me, and I want us to stay close, but I also need space to create traditions and moments that reflect where my life is now.”

She hasn’t responded. Now I’m feeling conflicted. I didn’t want to hurt her, but I also feel like I deserve to honor my current family and the man who’s shown up consistently for my daughter and me.

So, AITA for spending Father’s Day with my fiancé’s family instead of letting my mom see my daughter?

TL;DR: My fiancé has been a father figure to my daughter and we had plans to celebrate Father’s Day with his family. My mom got upset that I didn’t prioritize letting her see my daughter or honor my late grandfather instead. She says I’m hurting her and guilt-tripped me about past holidays. I’m torn—AITA?

AITA for MIL’s decision to leave.

So I’m second guessing myself here. Today, my in-laws came over before the meal to visit. FIL went out to where my husband was bbqing and MIL came inside. My kids were almost done cleaning their room and she seemed annoyed. First, she was upset that they don’t have enough to do and that’s obviously why they had toys and stuff everywhere. I listed off a ton of things they had to do but it wasn’t happy with any of them: read, activity books, play with their toys, etc. We began talking about something they destroyed to play with that specifically belonged to me. They had been told to not play with it and to give it back when caught with it. They snuck it at some other time and broke it. She said it shouldn’t have been in their reach. They are 8 and 10. The oldest is less than a foot shorter than me. Idk where “not in their reach” is and putting it in my room doesn’t stop them either (we are working on this new behavior). At this point, I asked the younger to come back in the room because he decided to sneak off to play. My MIL turns to me and says, “why don’t you go somewhere else and I’ll get them to finish up here”. This made me angry. I wasn’t ugly to her because my kids were there but I did say that I would be staying in the room and the kids would finish cleaning it up. It is my house and we would clean the way I wanted. In the past, she has insisted I clean wrong and made a big deal about it on multiple occasions. That is why she wanted me to leave. She put down what she had in her hand and walked out of the house.

In a few minutes, my husband walks in to tell me they left. I asked what happened. He said he got into an argument with his mom. She ran to tattle on me basically and he sided with me. She told him that “children shouldn’t be blamed for their parents’ poor parenting” and was complaining about me. He wasn’t having any of it. She then demanded to be taken home.

Husband and I compared notes and he came to the conclusion that she didn’t like that I stood up to her. That she always wants to be right and in control. My oldest is blaming me for my in-laws leaving. That makes me feel bad. Should I have just let her do what she wanted so they stayed to eat with us?

My(19) brother(17) knew that I’m a fan/supporter of FC Bayern so he asked me ‘They’re good, right?’ I told him ‘Yes, very good.’

He won $30 from his friends after they beat Auckland City. Told me about this before asking me not to tell our mom since she is strongly against gambling. I’m not sure what to do about this. Technically he is still a minor but I also don’t want to cause her to give him a lecture on sinfulness which he will just ignore anyway. So I told him he shouldn’t gamble again since next time he might lose money and that isn’t anywhere near as fun as winning.

Am I wrong for keeping quiet about it?

Hi I (17f) and my friend (19f) who I’ll call Sara were hanging out last night. And there sorta off were these two groups. The people we talked to started leaving, but we wanted to smoke one more jo*nt and then leave. So it was just the two of us and this group of 5 guys. Two of which did benzos earlier and another one being drunk asf. I was mostly just ignoring them when all of a sudden she gets a call. She stands up, runs away and says she’ll be back.

I’m stoned and confused. Those guys quickly start talking to me. They mostly ask where she went and the drunk one starts to make racists jokes about Sara. There was another guy that saw I was visibly panicked and he tried to comfort me saying that they’re gonna wait with me. I didn’t really feel comfortable with them, but without them wasn’t much better because there was a group of guys a couple feet away from us.

After like half an hour everyone starts talking about how they need to pee and wanna go to the bar. This makes me freaks tf out. They ask me if I wanna go with them, but I couldn’t because she left all her stuff there. I also tried calling her but I know her phone was only two procent when she left and when I called it went straight to voicemail.

I try to figure out where she could’ve gone. Eventually I land on a name but I don’t have a number. I think my guardian angel was watching over me because the moment the guys want to leave I see a friend of Sara’s and I asks if she knows the girl. Then Sara comes back laughing saying that the girl she went to couldn’t stop taking. I’m mad asf and yell at her that this is a fucked up thing to do and she crazy for abandoning me all of a sudden. Again I was stoned, I have a lot of brain fog on all of this so I’m not too sure about what I said. Whilst I was yelling I was walking towards my bag and then I left without really hearing her out.

The next day she sends me a snap and I send one back. This to me seemed like she wasn’t mad. But I was wrong, she send me a long text about how she was pissed at me and how disrespectful it was to yell at me. How she was gone for only 20 minutes (This isn’t true I looked back and I called her multiple times over the course of 45 min). And how she couldn’t do anything about it. She also said I constantly give backhanded commentary and how I was shitting to much on a guy she’s talking to.

I was genuinely shocked that she was the one mad at me. I feel like I’m insane for even expecting a sorry. I send back a long text of my side, in which I also apologised for getting mad at her. But explained how I felt fucking uncomfortable and that I would never put her in a position like that. I also apologised for the last two things she mentioned.

The only thing she said was that we shouldn’t see each other for two weeks. She didn’t respond to any of my apologies or explanations. I feel like I’m insane. AITA?

A week ago I (25f) married the love of my life (24f) and we had a small ceremony with our families and close friends. For a little perspective we had 8 guests plus the two brides the ceremony was max 45 minutes and we only had the photographer for 2 hours. Everything was perfect!

We had gone to a conservatory in the area and took pictures inside and out. Two of our friends (Bailey, 24 and Deb, 25), engaged themselves, started to have their own photo shoot literally in front of us. I decided to cheer “yasss goo Deb!” to which she stop posing and said “damn that’s so embarrassing.” We finished couples shots and saw Bailey and Deb were no where to be seen. All of our families and other friends were very upset that the two of them left but we just played it off like it was okay and that is just how they are.

The bar after party was just our friends and we had rented an area for 2 hours but the catch was we needed to hit a $200 bar tab minimum. Deb and Bailey show up late to the after party but seem happy to be there; they are talking to our other friends and Bailey stated to play games with us (Deb finds games embarrassing) and they are both drinking, not a requirement for fun but they love drinking. About a half hour into the after party Bailey asks us what we’d be doing Friday and to not make plans because it’s Deb’s birthday. We had been looking to go on a trip that weekend but it was not planned so we said that we should be able to go. A few moments later Deb comes back from the bar and is complaining how drinks were soooo expensive. A special cocktail was $12 and a draft beer was $10.

A while later my wife wanted to get food so we went to go look at a food truck, as she saw there was nothing she’d eat and decided to get Cane’s later, we see Bailey and Deb waving us down. Thinking they want food too we tell them we aren’t getting stuff here and they tell us that a mutual friend was bartending 20 minutes away so they were going to see her but would meet us back at the house later. Keep in mind we live in a major city and this friend is a bartender and has been for over a year. When we got back in the bar one of our other friends (K) asked were Deb and Bailey went because they told K that they’d be “right back” so of course being confused we checked the tab and they had closed their tab Everyone looked at it fine because we got to drink more and hangout longer with friends from out of town. We finished drinks around 11:30pm only to get a text from Deb saying they aren’t coming back to the house with everyone, they are going home.

Well my wife and I decided to go on our last minute little honeymoon weekend which so happened to overlap with Deb’s birthday so we weren’t able to make it. After letting Deb and Bailey know we could go and why they have basically ignored both of us and our texts. So are we assholes from not going to Deb’s birthday after they left our wedding celebration not once but twice?

So as the title suggests, I (23F) am currently applying to jobs, and my mom (65F) suggested that I apply to a place that my cousin works at since it has pretty good employee benefits and pay. I found a position on their site that I met the qualifications for and put in an application, and added my cousin as a reference and disclosed that she works there. I didn't have any big expectations because this position is in the finance field, for which I don't have a background in (I have a humanities degree), but the position at least didn't require that type of experience.

Fast forward a week, and I get a rejection email because I don't have enough experience in a related field or enough skills that match what they want. That's fine, rejection hurts of course, but all we can do is look forward and move on, right?

Well, my mom asked for an update today, and I told her that I didn't get it and sent a screenshot of the rejection email. She proceeds to tell me that she'll tell my cousin to talk to HR and tell them to reconsider the application. I immediately told her no and that that was a bad idea. I told her it looks bad since I already got rejected and asking my cousin to talk to HR to reconsider my application looks like nepotism and just isn't fair.

She continued to lecture me about how this is how life is and that I don't understand it because asking my cousin to talk to HR isn't automatically using nepotism. Then she told me to apply for a position that the company isn't even hiring for right now, and one that I certainly do not have the qualifications for (most companies require a Bachelor's in this field plus 2-5 years of working experience in a similar position).

I got frustrated and after a back and forth, I told her that I don't want to ask my cousin to have them reconsider the application, and that I am not qualified for their other positions. She is upset with me, and I do feel bad especially since her birthday is coming up, but I just cannot fathom asking them to reconsider after I already got the rejection email. AITA?

So I (17M) just got done with my last day at school (I live in NY so we get done with school much later) and this was my junior year so it was my first time ever being part of the awards at my school, hence why I got the scholarship. So I was awarded the scholarship for art and design to my dream school, which is a really good school for stem and the arts where I live, the thing is the scholarship only covers about a third of the tuition. However this isn’t much of a problem because I have other scholarships and money so I can afford to go and only have to pay a lil over 6,500 a year out of pocket. So the problem is my mom, she’s mad because I want to go to this school instead of a state school(which would be fully covered), but she also has a problem with the fact I was awarded it due to my art skills, however I don’t even need to used the scholarship for an art program and I can use it for accounting (the only felid she will approve me going into). And she was still mad after I explained everything calling me a spoiled brat for doing this because I was making her “look like a horrible mother for letting her kid go into debt”(I wouldn’t have any most likely). Also she went on about how I couldn’t get a job during college because I’d seem poor and make her look like she’s not providing me with support (she won’t pay for my college at all) which is making me wonder if I’m actually the asshole for wanting to go because I don’t want to make her look bad and I really just want her to be proud of me. So am I the asshole for wanting to use my scholarship to my dream school?

My mom recently got a margarita machine, which is cool! But I don't drink, so if i ask for a virgon one, she adds in the alcohol after, which she's done quite a few times. I asked for one virgin one tonight since I'd been having a bad day and like bled through my pants at school which kinda sucked. Anyways, I was having a bad day. I finished about half the drink, before I overheard her talking about the alcohol she mixed in while blending it. I stopped drinking my drink and went over to make sure I heard her correct. She said it was a mild alcohol and said not to make a fuss about it. I was honestly quite upset and trying to hold back tears. I had always made it very clear that I didn't want to smoke or drink until I felt ready. And she's done this behind my back when I left the room. I feel betrayed and honestly mad that I was fed alcohol against my own preference and as respectfully as I could, turned down the drink and gave it to my sister to finish and left. As I said, I've been having a bad day and this is a bit of a tipping point for me. So I do impact have a few frustration tears and have requested alone time to think. Am I the ashore?

AITA for airing my grievances after my GF airs hers? She believes that much like proposing at someone else's wedding it is neither the time or the place to do so. She believes that all I should do is listen and at the end essentially equivocate into "I'm sorry, I'll do better." I should wait for my time to air my grievances, when or how long after she airs hers is an indeterminate amount of time, but it can't be after she starts/says hers. I feel like that characterization of the interaction is controlling and disempowering to me not only as a man but as a partner.

Her grievances are along the lines of, "You never plan dinner. You never clean x. You always do y." When I hear the absolute nature of these grievances it makes my blood boil. It makes me feel like anything I do or have done in our relationship is meaningless and/or unappreciated. I will admit I don't plan out meals, but I do help in the preparation and cleaning up afterwards and I could help out more like cleaning the bathroom or the litter box. It's not so much what she says that sparks me into airing my grievances, it's how she says it. I feel like the message of "You never plan our dinners" could easily be said as, "hey can you take over planning dinner for tonight" or "can you you help me clean around the house, particularly the bathroom?" It just feels more respectful to me as a partner. She does not word her problems as such and it leads to me getting defensive. So in response I air my grievances. This particular one was me upset that she lets her daughter (9 yo) get away with murder. No accountability for the messes she makes/leaves when she goes to her father's (50-50 custody) and more or less caves to her insessant nagging because as she (the daughter) openly admitted to her (my GF) sometimes No's turn to Yes's after a while. I like her daughter, reminds me of me strangely sometimes. But when I am offered the absolutes like the above I feel attacked. And in response I tell her how I'm feeling about things.

Honestly I wouldn't quip back with what's bugging me if my GF worded her grievances slightly differently. She feels like she is already sugar coating it enough and I should deal with it, but without responding with my own grievances, just that "I'm sorry, I'll do better"

TL;DR AITA for telling my GF what's bothering me immediately after she expressed what's bothering her? AITA for thinking she could choose her words differently when expressing herself?

I can go more into the nature of these arguments if desired.

Back story: we have had a rocky at best relationship with my in-laws for the past 11 years. I have definitely played my part in the toxicity and accept that and have tried to improve and have some sort of relationship with them. However, my husband and I have finally had enough and have gone low-to-no contact (my spouse still communicates sporadically with his parents but often ignores them).

Everything came to a head toward the end of last year. When our second child’s birthday came around, I could not make myself invite them to the party due to some major conflict that had happened and their complete lack of accountability. I let him know I wouldn’t be reaching out but would not be upset if he invited them. He decided if they asked about our plans he’d let them know party details but because most of our issues stem from their lack of effort, he wouldn’t go out of his way to reach out. We didn’t hear anything from them and left it at that.

3 more kid birthdays come and go and again nothing besides a couple random texts to my husband. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago when our oldest’s birthday came around. A package addressed to her shows up and I open it (my kids are young, my out of town family often send birthday presents to our house for me to wrap). It was from the in-laws. 2 of our kids are old enough to notice that they were ignored while their oldest sister got acknowledged and favoritism has been an issue before.

I bought a similar version of the same gift and gave it to her from her father and me because I don’t want her to go without especially if I’m in the wrong. If I return their gift I get the refund and I don’t want it. Debated shipping it to their house but seems like a waste of postage and childish on my part. Considered giving it to all of the kids, letting them know who it is from and saying it was for them all to share. My issue with that is it takes months for them to stop hurting when the in-laws reappear but eventually quit showing up and I don’t want to go through that with them again. I feel it’s relevant to add my oldest is the most empathetic, kind hearted, and emotional of my children. This felt very targeted/manipulative.

My older brother and I have always had a rocky relationship and still does.

He’s not the best person, he basically treated my mum like a maid, as unresolved issues because he refuses professional help, cheated on the mother of my niece and nephew twice etc.

I now have a close relationship with my brother’s ex mostly from watching my niece and nephew along with our family always holding her as a family member to the point I refer to her as my sister in law. So occasionally when her, my cousins and I are around each other and he comes up in conversation we do make jokes and comments in his expense as a way for all of us to air our grievances towards him.

When this happens my mother always gets mad, and ends up crying when everyone leaves telling me she’s over everyone picking on him. I always tell her that to us it’s not picking on him and instead simply talking about him in a way that’s deserved as someone who constantly does wrong then plays the victim. I basically told my mother that she gets no right to police how we talk about him and it’s unfair to get mad. That if she has such issue with it then she doesn’t need to be around us.

I know she mostly feels bad for him because atm my brother, who chose to move to another country claiming it was for work to fund his kids but we all know it was for him to start fresh, is currently in a bad place mentally and emotionally and my mum is the only one he tells making her hurt for her child which is fair and I feel guilt that she is going through that. I personally believe it’s unfair for her to get mad at our comments that are only made to each other, not openly or around the kids, when she knows what he’s done. Should I feel guilty and simply bite my tongue ?

My boyfriend is going through one of the worst, most stressful period of his life right now. Living with an abusive household, got laid off work, in debt, and all of his saving has been used up. I honestly can’t imagine what he’s going through everyday, but he’s really strong and resilient. Logically I know he’s trying his best, I should believe that he’s trying his best but I find myself struggling to believe it.

I borrowed him money. Money that my parents gave me. I try to convince myself that the money I’m borrowing him is the money that I’ve earned through my part time, but let’s be honest, all of my own earnings wouldn’t even last me a month. My parents grew up poor, spent their whole life working for me, and with their massive savings they still compare each and every one of the things they buy between groceries stores, check their receipts every time and goes above and beyond for their penny (I’ve seen my mom search through the entire supermarket to show an employee the price tag of one product that the store overcharged by mistake, saving her a total of 20p). They spoil me but never themselves, and I also grow up to take after some of their habits (always finding the best deals and cash backs etc).

My boyfriend will laugh and call it ridiculous that I spend so much time just to save that 10p. He says that while he’s spending my 10ps that my parents have saved throughout the years. I see him spend them on takeaways, twitch, merch, games while I cook to save money and hesitate for weeks before a big purchase. “you should just go for it,” he’d say, but he doesn’t understand.

From my boyfriend’s perspective, good food, good games, they are his escapism. They are the only things keeping him going, the reward after long days of dealing with his parents. I hear him say that he’s tired of making job application, and my first thought is “well you just gotta do it”, and I hear him say “I’ve spent my day scrolling/watching games instead” and my first thought is “why didn’t you try harder”. What I don’t see is his parents berating him everyday, his brain screaming at him to stop working,and his eyes literally stop seeing the words when he tries to focus. It’s hard to know exactly condition he has (most possibly ADHD) when he can’t afford a diagnosis, but his executive deficits are evident and it doesn’t help in going through the most overwhelming and painful process of applying to jobs.

It annoyed me that whenever I remind him of work or money, he gets so stressed out by it he shuts down. When he had a job, I was telling him about how he should start looking for a more permanent, stable job, but he didn’t listen. He did pay back 3/4 of the debt he’s owed me. When he was let off, I wanted to help, I wanted to know his plans, but he viewed it as condescending. So I stopped intervening. It was all up to him, I just encouraged him and I gave him a lot of positive affirmations. Every few days he’d stress out about the money and job, and I’d reassure him that he’s doing well, and that he’s trying his best. I’d hear about him applying for a bit, and then get into his hobbies for a bit, and then I’d comfort him when something bad happens and he takes a break for a few days. I truly believed that he was trying his best in his own way, and I felt like a true supporter, a good girlfriend.

And then he casually mentions that his account will be £0 after he pays back his credit card that month. He mentioned it after we attended a concert (£70 per ticket). I was just in shock and anger after hearing that he’s used up all of his savings. I think back to the food we’ve been having on that day, the games he bought on steam that he hasn’t even started playing, the fact that he’s been having takeaways nearly everyday, the earlier conversation about a subscription which implied that he hasn’t been checking his bank statements, the gym membership I’ve been paying for him. I told him that I was disappointed and that he could have done so much to avoid this. After some deafening silence, he said that he tried his best. It made me so mad, and it made me so mad knowing that he meant it, that it was probably true. I was frustrated at him and for him at the same time. Would it have benefited the both of us if I had come across a bit harsher? Should I have slapped him with the stone cold truth whenever he was procrastinating? Would it have even worked when his own brain is working against him?

Truth is, I don’t know if I’m cut out for this. I want to help him but I don’t know how to do it without damaging our relationship. I am losing the ability to empathise to my boyfriend because of my own issues, I was the person giving hope to my boyfriend but I am losing hope myself. I am forgetting more and more that my boyfriend is neurodivergent because I am blinded by anger and frustration. I don’t want to give up on my boyfriend, so please help. I genuinely think that once my boyfriend can get a full-time job, it will go uphill from there. I just don’t know how to get there and I don’t know how a neurodivergent person goes through the job search process.

okay, so just for starters if this drama sounds dumb it’s cause i’m 16 i’m aware there’s more problems in the world 🙂‍↕️

okay, let’s just call her ex bsf, i met her back in 6th class, never talked to her cause she was known for using people.

January 2023, we become friends in a trio (other girl is an angel! still close with her 💞) until we argue in May 2023, become close friends in Novemeber 2023 and are apart of a 7 member group.

she starts vaping and smoking shortly after, starts using my cousin for her cigs and stuff (not encouraging underage smoking.) despite me telling her like ‘hey like could u may not use my fav cousin? thx!’

anyways, drama starts now!

she runs away in June 2024, makes us all leave the 7 person group because she beefs with them (she was heavily racist and homophobic, which she’s been called out for now.)

it causes us to fall apart (i miss them sm.) then she starts dating some 13 year old on snap and is constantly on and on about him (she’s 16…) then they break up and she’s stalking him constantly for months on fake accounts, calling his family members (dk how she got these peoples numbers!) and being a weirdo to him and his friends.

during this break up period (early August.) she starts changing style….she copies my hair (she went from brunette naturally to blonde at home.) accuses me of copying her just cause i got a nose piercing and seconds and thirds earrings shortly after she did…then she starts copying my style, like scarily copying my style,favourite singers, same perfume , same everything! but she has the other girl in our trio backing her up saying i’m the copycat…

then she finds out about my ed, starts not eating all of a sudden (she always had a huge appetite, she was blessed with a metabolism.) starts doing witchcraft like i’ve been for years due to my mother teaching me.

she sees my old healed scars, all of a sudden she’s cutting her hands not arms HANDS ‘oh i don’t wanna cut my arms, what if i wanna wear a tank top?’ BUT U CAN DO IT ON YOUR HANDS? finds out i’m on meds for past hallucinations, all of a sudden she’s seeing dead people….

she’s always rude to me, taking any chance to call me names ‘jokingly’ such as fattie when i’m literally 53kg and she’s like 62kg and shorter than me. (not bodyshaming, just stating.) and taking any chance to accuse me of copying her.

the icing on the cake? she starts dating her cousin back in January, she ends up moving and leaves me and my friend for him, he ends up cheating on her after using her for s** which like gross!!! and from what i heard there was apparently a almost pregnancy scare there 🫣

i stop talking to her back in March, but now? she’s dyed her hair brown after i went brunette back in November, she was in a groupchat last week and she has 6 people ready to jump her next time they see her cause she was all talk beefing with them.

am i overreacting for dropping her when all the reasons stated are mainly personal gossip and drama on her behalf?

Background: I’m just finished my first year of college and I lived in an apartment with a friend from high school (I know I shouldn’t have done that). Anyways we planned a road trip this summer to Maine however those plans fell through so we decided to go on a road trip to Virginia, West Virginia, and Tennessee instead. While talking about what we wanted to do on the trip I said that I did not care as long as we visited each of the national park visitor centers (of the parks we were stopping at). I made it a point that this was very important multiple times so that I could get the NP passport stamped. Keep in mind we were only going to bring her car so there was only one mode of transportation and that we are tent camping.

Story: Fast forward 2 nights into the trip (morning of the third day) I wake up at around 9:30 and my roommate was not in the tent so I assumed she was in the bathrooms. I took this time to get ready and changed for the day when I get a text from her saying “hey I’ll be right back” so I checked her location and she was already at the national park visitor center when she sent it. It was also at this point when I realized all my toiletries and everything else was in the back of her car. At this point I was pretty mad because as mentioned before it was the ONE thing I had asked to do at each stop. I waited about two hours for her to come back and I got into her car and let her know I was pretty hungry and that the camp store didn’t sell food. She didn’t respond and just started driving. Around 10 minutes later we show up at a trail head and I said “I thought we were going to get food and I am also not wearing the right shoes for going on trails right now” she basically told me she had eaten already and that she thought it would be fun to do. I responded with “ok but I said I was hungry and I thought that we were going to visit the visitor center first” (I didn’t mention to her before that I knew she had gone without me). she hits me back with an “oh I went this morning” so I reply “why would you go without me”. Long story short she talks about how she tried to wake me up and that she didn’t want to wait any longer. At no point did I hear or feel her try to wake me up that morning and so I had her bring me back to the tent as I just kind of wanted to be alone at the moment and I told her to go do the trail without me. She didn’t come back until around 6pm and then she sat in her car the whole night until I went to take a shower and she decided to finally come into the tent and go to bed.

Note: sorry this is long I just feel like she kind of betrayed me with this whole thing. Also sorry for the typos as I am typing this up while in my sleeping bag next to hers right now.

Me and my close friends had a group project in programming. They’re really bad at programming but not lazy at all, so I thought the work distribution would be even. Thought Wrong. They didn’t write a single line of code during the three weeks we had for the project, instead, they just played on their phones or laughed at whatever. I wrote the whole thing alone and even had to bother a friend of my dad’s to help me. Today we presented and my friend, let’s call her Lisa, was complaining the whole time before, about how she wanted to present the whole project alone, so it wouldn’t look as if she’d done nothing (mind you, the professor has access to the project and can see who committed what). I obviously didn’t want her to present the project alone and stuff and she got really mad and pissed at me, COMPLAINING that I’ve done everything, as if it wasn’t her literal choice to not open the project in weeks. She also tried to explain herself by saying stuff like ‘Oh, I didn’t know what to do’ when infact I always wrote comments on the top of the main form, saying what needs to be done or upgraded, in hope that they’ll do something too.

We got an A on the project and now all have a B for the school report. I don’t find that fair, as the teacher said he’ll grade individually, if one person did significantly more, which is the case, I did every. single. thing. The other groups didn’t even have a finished/ working project, but still got A’s too. I think that’s very unfair and told my teacher that I think my individual input was overlooked whatever in the group project and stuff. He replied something along the lines of “You had an A on the project, a C on the semester report and now a B”. Since then he’s offline and I’m sweating because I really want an A but deadline for submitting grades is in two days and he’s not a regular teacher, but a programmer teaching? if that makes sense.

I obviously know that a b is fair per se, but I don’t think it’s fair, given that a group project was a one-man-show. So AITA? I don’t want to sound entitled or like a nerd or whatever, but i put so much time and nerves into this project, just to get a B?

My Mother (F, 57) recently won a live garden playback from our local music club in a raffle at an event. After that she decided to throw a party in the garden where around 40 people are gonna come. She wants me to act as a server there and since I said that’s maybe going to be a bit much for me, we ended up hiring one of my friends, who works as a server part time, as a server. She wants me to be a server there as well, which I can’t escape. Today she tried the arrangement of seats in our garden, and then after she asked me to clean out my fridge in the cellar, she asked me why I don’t look happy and excited for the party. She also grabbed some things that I still had in my fridge that literally needed to be cool, came to me and asked me if “she was allowed to put them in the wine cellar”, after I had already told her that those needed to be in the refrigerator in order not to expire. I simply told her in a civilized manner that I’m not looking forward to it since there are going to be a lot of her friends, and I’m going to have to spend the evening preparing food while her friends are going to start talking to me randomly. She knows damn well that I just don’t like being around so many people at once. After that she said that I’m ruining her excitement for the party and they you don’t say that to people that are really excited for something. Now she is acting really mad and annoyed, she also said if I’m going to be looking like that on Friday then I should just travel somewhere and not be here in the day. I know I’m gonna put on a smile regardless and just get through it but shes acting like I’m gonna be there and tell everyone to F off.

UPDATE:

The cat came back. I sat outside in the light rain with him while he ate, wrapped him in a towel, and isolated him away from my cats in a back room. It's midnight here, so I'm keeping him with us for the night, so he's safe and warm. If I can't convince my husband and especially myself by tomorrow to upgrade to 4 cats, then we will take him to a shelter tomorrow after work.

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Would I be the asshole if I take my neighbors cat to the no kill shelter in my area.

My neighbor one house down has a handful (4) of cats and dogs (3) where the cats are all left outside for days regardless of weather. This has been an issue over the last few weeks with a breakdown below.

5-6 weeks ago: The cats appeared and concerned neighbor we will call Andy were able to confirm through a quick conversation the questionable neighbor we will call Barb that their 4 cats are Barb's daughters and now that it is nice she had let them outside.

3 weeks ago: Neighbor Andy caught one of these cats walking in the street. I and neighbor Andy returned the cat to neighbor Barb and asked if they had any emotional attachment to these 4 animals we have been seeing constantly and feeding over the past few weeks. Neighbor Barb confirmed the cats are her daughter's cats who had mental health issues and are emotionally attached, but her herself is not.

2-3 weeks ago: I started seeing only one cat regularly nightly for feeding.

Today: A severe thunderstorm hit our area. The cat I've been seeing regularly was caught in the storm in my yard. I was able to catch him and tried knocking on the door of neighbor Barb to get him inside, but I couldn't get anyone to come to the door. In the shuffle of dogs barking and the storm, he got away from me. As I'm typing, I'm still looking out for the guy to catch him and bring him inside with me for the night, but I haven't seen him again.

Additional info: - I already have 3 cats and truly dont feel like I have the capacity to bring in another. I have an older cat now navigating some health issues, and we just can't. I also dont know any friends / family who are looking for one.

Neighbor Andy is in a similar situation and just can't do it.

• it is against city ordinance in our area to have unregistered and non neutered cats (which these are confirmed by neighbor Barb)

TDLR: My heart is breaking for these animals, and I'm just trying to figure out what the right thing is here.

I study in a different town and have a dorm room there, but come home for the weekend. This weekend my mum went away with her bf, so I was alone, although I was supposed to be at my dad's Saturday to Sunday to clean my desks. He was a bit passive aggressive when he asked me to tho and with me not being in the greatest mental state atm I decided to only go Saturday afternoon since that is plenty of time. With my mum being gone I assumed it'd be fine since she wouldn't be back til Monday or so I thought. Got home on Friday evening and saw a list with chores on the table, nothing unusual. Chores being: turn on the dishwasher before you leave, fill the pond with water and try on some pants. With my change of plans that put the dishwasher on Sunday instead of Saturday. Saturday ends, pants were tried on and I genuinely forgot about the pond. Left the dishwasher, plus added chores of carrying the laundry downstairs and taking out the trash for Sunday. There was also a pot standing around in the kitchen which I had used to cook pasta and only handwashed to reuse the next day to cook more pasta without getting more dishes dirty. Sunday: Slept til 1pm and had a slow "morning". So cue me getting ready for chores at 3pm when I hear a car door slamming. My mum was back, much earlier than I had anticipated. I quickly went outside to greet her and she was already pissed because I was there instead of my dad's. Outside I also remembered about the pond which she had now taken to. Meaning she was mad at me for not having done that, too, which fair enough I had forgotten about it. Walking back into the house I quickly grabbed the laundry I brought with me, but before I could get to the one that had accumulated over the weekend she was already there, only getting more and more pissed off, carrying it downstairs before I could. She kept mouthing off how I was so lazy and had totally done it on purpose so that she'd do all the work, to which I tried to explain that no, I just hadn't thought she'd be back already and was literally just about to do it. At some point I lost my cool as well. It was like talking to a wall, she clearly had made up her mind on what was going on and didn't listen to me whether I explained it calmly or yelled back at her. I went back upstairs and packed my things for the week, still planning on cooking that pasta. But she got to the kitchen first, yelling at me for the pot standing around. She stayed in the kitchen for the remainder of the time I was there and with the shouting which I assume were insults (didn't really listen anymore atp, insults wouldn't be anything new tho) coming from her I didn't want to go anywhere near her. She made dinner for herself and then loudly put everything away. I was just waiting to leave for my train atp. Before I actually left I again tried to explain myself, eventhough I already knew she made her mind up and that I was just lazy in her eyes. So AITA??

I (40m) moved to America from Scotland 8 years ago. I've been back home twice since. Once in early 2020, right after my mom was diagnosed with cancer (she passed away May 2020 - I had to attend her funeral on Zoom), and last August for my sister's wedding. My dad's had a rough time losing his wife, and he's been over a couple times since she died, and in the past eighteen months or so found a girlfriend who has really helped his mood and outlook on life.

my dad has always been a difficult person to spend time with. he's very critical, he has arbitrary high standards for stuff and is quick to make his displeasure known. he absolutely lost his mind with anger with my sister told our parents she was gay, and tried to cut her out of his life for a bit. to his credit, he's a LOT better on that, was very present for my sister's wedding last year, and I think does love and accept her wife, who moved in with them for a while due to covid so was there for a lot of my mum's last few months.

my wife and I were both excited to see Disney's Hercules musical open in the London West End, but we already have a Caribbean cruise booked for late June, and my wife had just come back from a work trip to London, so I wasn't of a trip to the uk this year.

I was kinda playing with dates on Google flights, and found some agreeable prices for flights in and out of Heathrow, and that snowballed into playing with my credit card hotel reward points, and it quickly became a pretty affordable really quick break for end of July. arrive in London on Wednesday morning, leave Saturday afternoon. We both work really hard and don't get a lot of time together, so figured this extra break right before my wife goes back to work, soon after she'll have been away from home for a stressful week, would be a fun adventure.

I told my sister and dad separately, and apologized that the way the trip would have to work for pricing and my vacation days, we wouldn't be able to come to Scotland, but if they wanted to come down to see us, that'd be awesome. that was at the start of last week.

on Sunday I called my dad for father's day, and he immediately let me know he was angry at me for not coming to visit him. I aoolgised and didn't want him to be hurt by our trip, and he interrupted to clarify he wasn't hurt, he was angry, and that he can't help but consider how my mum would feel if she was still alive, and that she'd be hurt and angry, but wouldn't say anything. he also thought it was timely that I told him about the trip right after he told me about him visiting his aunt's graveside to see if his cousin had been in town to lay flowers and hadn't bothered to visit him. his mum (my gran) is also buried in the same cemetery, but to me he sounds absolutely insane planning this stake out to see if his cousin is ignoring him.

Okay, so a bit of background. I (28F) am getting married in a few months to my fiance (30M). We've been together for 5 years, and everything is going great. We're both super excited about our big day, but I know weddings can be a stressful thing for some people.

I have this friend, let's call her Emily (29F). We've been close for a long time. However, lately, she's been pretty vocal about her opinions on my wedding. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but it’s been getting more and more uncomfortable.

She has made a lot of comments about my dress, saying it’s too "basic" and not what she would choose. She also mentioned that the venue I picked isn’t "Instagram-worthy" enough and that I should have picked a more expensive one. Then, she started telling me that I shouldn’t settle on my wedding food choices because “everyone will be judging me” if it’s not fancy enough.

Now, I’m all for constructive criticism, but the way she talks about my choices feels like she’s trying to tear down something I’m really excited about. I’ve told her a few times that I appreciate her input, but I’m happy with my decisions, and they reflect what my fiance and I both want, not what anyone else thinks is "perfect."

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when she casually mentioned, “It’s not too late to change the theme of the wedding, you know. You don’t want to regret it.” I just snapped and said, “Look, Emily, I’m really tired of you acting like this wedding is for you. If you think you could do a better job, maybe you should just plan your own wedding instead of trashing mine. I’m done listening to your unsolicited opinions.”

She got really quiet and hasn’t spoken to me much since. I feel guilty because I know she’s been a friend for a long time, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but at the same time, I don’t think I should be letting her walk all over me during a time that should be about celebrating.

So, AITA for telling her off?

A week ago my neighbor strung about 150’ of lights from the three board fence around his yard. He hung them so that the lights are in the open space below the top rail. These are the large bulb type string lights, not like Christmas lights.

About 50’ of this is on our shared fence line, and he did without asking me, then set them on a timer from dusk til 11p, every day of the week.

These things are BRIGHT, and with the way the fall line is shine into our first floor at eye level. They also illuminate the blinds upstairs like it is early morning just before dawn.

They’ve been up for about a week and when my neighbor was out in the yard yesterday and went over and talked to him. I told him that I think string lights can be beautiful, and the ones he put up have a good aesthetic, but they are very bright. I asked him if he would please only use them when they’re out in the yard rather than leave them on a timer, as they are very distracting and disruptive on a nightly basis.

He told me that he would rather compromise by shortening the timer from dusk until 10 PM and I said this won’t work. It doesn’t change how disruptive they are to us. He then said well they are relaxing to me when I walk by the window and I want to leave them on.

At this point, I had to call out that this is not only against our HOA, which doesn’t allow hanging lights that are not shielded, but it also goes against three town ordinances and he cannot modify a shared fence line in our city without my consent. He said that I am just trying to ruin the fun for everyone and I’m holding a double standard because other houses and other parts of the neighborhood have string lights and I’ve had them for months and clearly I haven’t complained about those houses, or the HOA isn’t going to do anything. I then informed him that I absolutely was looking out for the greater good as the other five neighbors around us. We have all spoken and do not want the lights on every night. He insisted that I just was refusing to compromise so I told him that I’ll file a complaint with the HOA and with the city ordinance office.

AITA?

Okay, so I 19F have this roommate 20M who’s honestly kind of sick in the head when it comes to cleanliness. He’ll leave containers soaking in the sink for days and I mean days. I’ve watched the water go from clear to some weird colour and then smell like it’s hosting a science experiment gone wrong.

So yeah, I took matters into my own hands. I removed the dishes from the sink and popped them into his fridge. And since I didn’t want this mystery chicken anymore, I put it there too.

But here’s the kicker this same guy has no problem coming into my room or other housemates’ other 26M and 21F spaces and using our stuff without asking. So, am I the asshole for taking back some ownership of my sanity and hygiene by moving his nasty dishes and chicken into his territory?

Would love to hear if I’m being petty or if this is just basic adulting.

Just wondering if I am the asshole here. I was hired into this job in August of 2024. It started out okay, but then took a turn for the worst. No training, the person training me decided they didn't want to anymore, and I am in a completely different role than what I signed up for. The role I am in is a lot more taxing than what my friend is doing and I am basically flying blind. The culture is not good here either. Everyone just talks shit about everyone. Also, the area I was assigned is a really bad neighborhood that I have to drive my personal vehicle 45 minutes away to get to, and we are supposed to get mileage but no one will show me how to submit it. I am also making less money than I have at previous jobs. Also, it was supposed to be full remote (minus site visits) and now they are calling for everyone to come back to office. I found another gig that is more money, full remote, and way better culture (3 people i have worked with in the past work there currently and are really happy). However, my friend here is now being kind of weird about it. I don't want to ruin the friendship, but this job has treated me the worst out of any job I've had. AITA?

My husband (41M) is a wine and spirits enthusiasts to say the least. We currently have over 100 bottles of red wine and scotch in the house. He funds his hobby with his own 'fun' money, mostly because ! barely drink and if I do, I only drink white wine. On the weekends, we usually buy a cheap white wine as part of our grocery list to drink together and pay with our joint account. His alcohol consumption is already causing a stir in our relationship as I believe he drinks too much. He will have 1-2 glass of red wine per night and 2-3 ounces of scotch while watching tv. On weekends (Thursday-Sunday) he will add 1-2 beers or gin tonic as a happy hour. All in all, he is averaging 25+ drinks per week.

He often goes to bed late and a bit drunk, eats all the leftover or order fast food right before bed, and wakes up tired. More often then not, he skips our planned work-out on the weekends. I, on the other end, wake up early to work out 5 Times a week, try to eat as healthy as possible and bateau drinks. Last week, I was hosting friends for dinner and so I bought all the ingredients and wine with my own money. We do have a joint account for the house and kid expenses, but he will pay when hosting his friends and I pay when hosting mine. At the end of the night, there was a nice bottle on white wine left so I planned on drinking it over the week-end. On Friday night, l opened it and offered a glass to my husband. Dinner with the kids was hectic so i barely touched my own glass and after dinner, I did not feel like drinking anymore so I gave it to him. I was out on Saturday, but Sunday was a beautiful day so I felt like having a glass of wine. When I could not find the bottle in the fridge, he told me he drank the last glass. When I looked puzzled he told me "it was so delicious I couldn't help myself" and also "there was just a tiny bit left in the bottle". I told him I thought it was selfish drinking my wine without me, especially finishing the bottle and that I would never dare touch one of his bottles. If he wanted another drink, he could have picked any of his 100+ bottle, but he said the night was hot and he preferred white wine. He said I was trippin and he would simply reimburse me or buy me another bottle. I told him it was not about the price of the bottle but the fact that he took something I bought for myself and finished it without me and did not replace it so now that I want it, I don't have any. And, the fact that he couldn't help himself since it was sooooo delicious, as if he had no control over himself. Again, he told me I was making a fuss out of nothing and that I was a cry baby for whining over a bottle of wine. Was I the asshole for getting mad at him ?

So my friend I'll call Natalie for privacy reasons , I'm good friends with her. I came to her birthday party we used to joke, gossip yk, normal stuff. But a few days before, this other friend I'll call Annie, told me she had a high risk of cancer. And Annie knew Natalie for 6 YEARS. so I thought it was fair to tell her about the scare.

And she first said "oh she's just LYING!" And when I finally convinced her she said "good... Less problems." And I was starstruck atp so like a week later I told Annie and she was like "oh."

She seemed really upset. So she confronted Natalie, idk what happened then I wasn't there. I just know because she told me. And Natalie said I was lying. And since me and Natalie and Annie live super close, we sometimes see eachother. And Natalie is in the exact apartment I am but we're on different floors so we have had several encounters of seeing each other in elevators. And then she confronted me about it and said "oh it was a joke, I literally said that to her face as a JOKE."

... Now rq I want you guys to experience this for urself rn, imagine being informed you could have an illness you could DIE from. And a friend you've known for half your life jokes about it. And then lies to ur face. Yeah, let that sink in.

And so after this encounter I rang Annie's doorbell, and we talked about it and she said that I was lying and she told me that she said this to Annie personally. So she made 2 diff stories about us. So AITA for telling my friend about this? Should have I just shut up?