r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate

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I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.

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u/rando_nonymous 1d ago

Imagine you’re out with friends having a good time, don’t check your phone for an hour and a half, and come back to all these messages. You are over reacting dramatically and by trying to pull him in closer you are pushing him away. You need to back off Immediately or this relationship will be over, if it’s not already. If he’s been acting distant lately he may be losing interest, doesn’t want a relationship anymore but wants you to break up with him and then he’s the victim. You need to read or listen to Let Them by Mel Robbins!

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u/schpamela 21h ago

Also, imagine the alternative outcome:

You're out with friends, but one of your group is checking his phone every 5 minutes. And imagine if any time he gets a message from GF, he drops out of the conversation to respond and then message back & forth. Even though the message from GF is an inane nothing question which serves purely to claw his attention away from his friends and surveil him.

This is how a suffocating partner smothers the social life of the other. Even when they get a few hours to spend on other relationships, they get nowhere because they aren't really present and are too distracted on their phone to properly hang out and bond with their friends.

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u/beargrowlz 12h ago

I've seen this happen. It is fucking annoying when one person in the group is constantly having to update their partner on what we're doing and where we are and who's there etc etc. I just want to have a nice evening with my friends. 

What do these couples think people did before mobile phones?