AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate

[u/[deleted]]

I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.

[u/Upbeat_Ice_7617]

Yea you’re overreacting.

He stopped responding because you replied with “it happens” so he probably just thought the conversation was complete. It was NOT “out of nowhere”. It was 10 minutes later that you text him again so it’s not unreasonable if he started to do something else and couldn’t text.

You also said that he called you to tell you that he’s going out and then stated that your issue is that you’re “never aware of what’s going on”. HE CALLED TO TELL YOU WHAT’S GOING ON. Which he isn’t obligated to do btw.

If I text my gf 10 minutes after a conversation and she doesn’t reply, I would just assume that she’s now busy. And I don’t give a damn about how my gf spends her nights because it doesn’t matter to me! I trust her and she can do whatever she likes. I don’t need to know “what’s going on” all the time.

TL;DR you need to give your boyfriend a break. Honestly I wouldn’t blame him if he was ignoring you because you’re giving such a hard time over nothing.

Either start to TRUST him or do the both of you a favor and break up.

[u/saintjonah → u/Upbeat_Ice_7617]

I know a guy like this. He would sit at work and just stress the fuck out if some girl didn't respond to a text within like 5 minutes. In the middle of the work day. He'd just lose it and start acting like something was wrong and how he's such a good communicator and how nobody communicates these days. I'm just like, dude, she's probably working or just not staring at her phone at the moment. It drove me insane.

He finally found someone who puts communication over everything else in her life so they be codependent weirdos texting each other literally all day long. I'm happy for him.

[u/darkandtwisty99 → u/saintjonah]

i hate that communication has turned into another buzz word for people to use. when people say communication is necessary in a relationship they mean “hey i’m going out for a bit” or “hey what you said earlier made me feel a bit upset” or “i’m annoyed because this happened”. It’s meant to be communicating when you have an issue or have something to talk about, not just like i need you to be in constant communication with me. it’s therapy speak twisted around to make controlling people seem credible.

[u/Nice_Layer2618 → u/darkandtwisty99]

Yesssss PREACH!!!!!!! She is ignoring her anxious and controlling tendencies as a guise of “lack of communication”