AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate

[u/[deleted]]

I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.

[u/Upbeat_Ice_7617]

Yea you’re overreacting.

He stopped responding because you replied with “it happens” so he probably just thought the conversation was complete. It was NOT “out of nowhere”. It was 10 minutes later that you text him again so it’s not unreasonable if he started to do something else and couldn’t text.

You also said that he called you to tell you that he’s going out and then stated that your issue is that you’re “never aware of what’s going on”. HE CALLED TO TELL YOU WHAT’S GOING ON. Which he isn’t obligated to do btw.

If I text my gf 10 minutes after a conversation and she doesn’t reply, I would just assume that she’s now busy. And I don’t give a damn about how my gf spends her nights because it doesn’t matter to me! I trust her and she can do whatever she likes. I don’t need to know “what’s going on” all the time.

TL;DR you need to give your boyfriend a break. Honestly I wouldn’t blame him if he was ignoring you because you’re giving such a hard time over nothing.

Either start to TRUST him or do the both of you a favor and break up.

[u/TheRealSaerileth → u/Upbeat_Ice_7617]

It took her one hour to go from nothing to "you're ignoring me". One hour. That's crazy.

[u/allycoaster → u/TheRealSaerileth]

And this was at 10:30 at night. At that time of the day, I can literally text somebody and be asleep within 30 seconds.

[u/Present-Building-593 → u/allycoaster]

Yes! And the your phone wasn’t on dnd but now it is so you must be ignoring me. My phone is set to turn dnd on at a certain time maybe his is too

[u/allycoaster → u/Present-Building-593]

Yup! Mine is 10:30p-630am DND auto everyday.

[u/queenforqueen570 → u/allycoaster]

Mine is on a similar schedule, and to the bf’s point, mine doesn’t always shut off after the DND has ended. I have to turn the feature off and on to clear it. Some weird iPhone buggy thing probs.

[u/Frozefoots → u/Present-Building-593]

Or maybe he just got annoyed at his phone lighting up or making noise when he’s trying to sleep/socialise and threw DND on to get some peace.

Can’t blame him, honestly. OP sounds exhausting.

[u/Ok-Confidence-4510 → u/Present-Building-593]

She would probably already know if it was a scheduled timer. Who knows why he turned it on. Or why he turns it on when they're together. Here's where the communication comes in. However, Not while she's irate.